by SC Daiko
“Jesus, Cat. We can’t do this.” He jumps back like I’ve scalded him. “I mustn’t risk…” He stops himself then carries on. “I mustn’t risk breaking the promise I made to my wife. Ben must be my top priority.”
I lift my eyes to his and see the guilt there. Guilt and something else. That desolate look is back again. Christ!
I’m about to apologise, tell him he’s right. We can’t do this. For a whole load of reasons. Except Becca and Ben come running into the kitchen, complaining that Toby has let off one of his stinky farts and they feel sick.
I catch the relief in Daniel’s expression that we’ve been interrupted, relief that quickly morphs into pain. God, he must be carrying a lot of baggage on those broad tattooed shoulders of his. It’s like his soul is scarred.
I pour the kids a glass of water each, which they glug down quickly. Then I walk Daniel and his son to the door. I bend down to Ben’s level. “Thank you for thinking of Becca and me. We loved the fish and chips.”
Out of the blue, Ben gives me a hug. “I’m glad you and Becca live next door,” he says. “I like you being my friends.”
I stare up at Daniel, catch the gleam of love for his son in his eyes. My heart does that weird little flip again.
He takes his leave, his arm around Ben as they walk down the garden path. I stand in the doorway and watch them. Then I think about Josh. Suddenly I’m ashamed of myself for what I did, what I wanted to do with Daniel. On Josh’s anniversary, of all days. I don’t know what possessed me. It was like I’d lost control. I touch my fingers to my kiss-swollen lips and let out a groan.
Chapter Eight
Daniel
I’m varnishing the painting I promised Eric, moving the brush quickly from one end of the canvas to the other; I fall into a rhythm as I work and let my thoughts drift. A week has gone by since Ben and I shared that meal with Cat and Becca. A week of adhering to my resolution not to get too close to her. Just brief conversations at the school gate or when our kids had play dates. Nothing more.
I draw in a deep, harsh breath. The ladies in the village narrow their eyes when they see me; I’ve heard them whisper that name, Brute. I grit my teeth and the muscles in my neck strain against my skin. It’s not me who’s the brute, but my fucking brother. Always the apple of Papa’s eye, Gleb could do no wrong as far as he was concerned. He gave him a position of trust, access to myriad bank accounts. A vein throbs on my forehead. Little did Papa know his eldest son was laundering Russian mafia money…
I put down my paintbrush and stare at the canvas. Red and purple swirling shapes, reflecting my fury at the situation in which I find myself. If it weren’t for my son, I wouldn’t be here. I’d have gone to Russia myself to find my brother.
I scowl as I think about him. Gleb’s so-called friends took my wife and unborn baby, leaving my son motherless. To protect Ben, I had to give up my old life and start a new one. There’s a pounding in my ears as I clench and unclench my hands. I hate having to live with lies and secrets. I hate that I’m unable to give my son a normal life. But most of all, I hate myself for being the arrogant bastard who put his family in danger. The mafia’s threats and my own guilt are preventing me from finding love again; I’d be a fool to put another woman at risk.
The sudden sound of barking cuts across my thoughts, and I peer through the open window. Damn, Cat’s dog is running around like a maniac, yapping at a squirrel. Then he squats and deposits a steaming dump in the middle of my lawn.
Fuck.
I rush outside, but Catrin is there already, clipping a lead onto Toby’s collar. God, she’s beautiful. Her blond bobbed hair is dishevelled, and I fight the urge to run my fingers through it. She’s dressed in tight blue jeans that hug her curves, and I fight the urge to grab her ass and pull her against me. Her sweater has ridden up, revealing a line of honey-coloured bare skin, and I fight the urge to lick and bite at it.
Urges. That’s all they are. I can handle them. No problem. Except my cock tells me different; it gives a throb of need.
“I’m so sorry.” Cat walks toward me, shaking her head. “I really should fix that gap in the hedge.”
“I’ll do it for you.” I lightly touch her shoulder.
She jumps back, and a tremor shakes her body. Does she feel it too? This pull between us…
Careful, Daniel.
“Would you like to come in for a coffee?”
I’m just being neighbourly. No harm in that.
“Thanks.” Her cheeks flame. “But maybe I should pick up Toby’s poop first?” She meets my eye and gives a nervous laugh.
I allow my lips to quirk. “I’ll deal with it later.”
We leave Toby outside and she follows me into my kitchen, glancing around curiously. It’s the first time she’s been in this room; it’s the first time anyone other than Ben and I has been in here, apart from her daughter, Gabe and Eric. Such a change from my old lifestyle, with daily cleaners and every luxury you could think of. This place is simple, but it suits me and my son. I manage to take care of it myself; employing anyone might be dangerous…
I turn my attention to Catrin. “Do you take milk and sugar?”
“Just a spoonful, please, and lots of milk.” A smile quivers on her mouth.
I switch on the coffeemaker and pull out two chairs. She sits, and her smile widens. “Your kitchen is different than mine.” She laughs shyly. “More masculine, somehow.”
“As it should be.” I draw my eyebrows together in a thoughtful frown, remembering the flower-filled vases and pastel colours in her cottage last week. I hope she doesn’t say mine needs a woman’s touch; it would be more than a tad clichéd.
She flicks the tousled hair off her forehead. “Josh has been gone three years.” Her words come out of the blue, blindsiding me. “How long is it since your wife passed?”
Silence fills the space between us. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee permeates through the air. I ignore her question momentarily and go to fill our cups. Then I sit back down and fix her in my gaze. My damn heart pangs. “Nearly three and a half years.”
“Does it still hurt?”
I stare down at my fingers. “Victoria was pregnant. I didn’t know. She lost the baby and then she lost her life.” My words sound strangled to my ears.
“God, I’m so sorry.” I wait for the platitudes, the meaningless phrases. How devastating. How do you get over something like that? But she doesn’t say them. Instead, she turns in her chair, places her hands on my shoulders and draws me in for a hug.
I wrap my arms around her and feel the warmth of her toned body under the palms of my hands. A bolt of desire shoots through me. This is wrong, yet, at the same time, it feels so right. I inhale her sweet scent. She lifts her face and I kiss her soft mouth, her tears mingling with my tears.
Fuck it.
Fuck everything.
I want her.
Does she want me?
No need to ask. She parts her lips and my tongue darts between them. She gives a little moan and cups my face with her hands, her fingers threading their way through my beard. I deepen the kiss with a bite. She whimpers but doesn’t tell me to stop. I brush my thumbs over her cheeks and kiss her again… kiss away all the pain, the regret, and the sorrow.
I pull her to her feet. We nibble, and bite and kiss like there’s no tomorrow. She starts rocking her body against mine, and I do what I’ve been wanting to do since catching sight of her in my garden. I lift her up by the ass; she wraps her lovely legs around me. I walk her over to the kitchen counter and sit her down. “Is this what you want, Cat? Tell me to stop and I will. I’m cautioning you… I like it rough.”
She nods, her eyes shining. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” She slides her hand up my thigh and strokes the bulge between my legs.
I don’t know what to say, but my cock jumps in response. I tangle my fingers in her silky hair, pulling her head back so I can suck on her neck. Warning bells ring in my head. This is fucking insane. What the hel
l am I doing? The bells become more insistent, and I realize my damn phone is ringing. I pull the device from my pocket and answer it.
Eric, my so-called agent is on the other end of the line. He tells me he’s about to arrive. Fuck, I thought he was coming tomorrow. Gently, I lower Catrin to the floor and explain. My voice is hoarse with need, and the tent I’m pitching in my jeans is hard as steel. I rub at the back of my neck. “My agent will be here in a couple of minutes.”
Her face flames. “That’s what I call good timing.” A wry smile lifts the corners of her lips.
I see her to the door and open it. Eric is already standing on the step.
She shakes his hand after I’ve introduced them. Then her fucking dog bounds up, barking and wagging its tail. “I’d better take Toby home,” she says, reaching for his leash. “Nice meeting you, Eric.”
“Likewise,” he grins.
I watch Catrin lead her dog through the gap in the hedge. She was saved by the bell. Literally. She doesn’t need a damaged man like me; she needs a normal guy who’ll become a father to Becca. All I could offer her would be temporary. I mean, I never know from one day to the next when I’ll need to pack up and move on. A life on the run isn’t something I’d wish on Cat and her delightful daughter. Never in a million years. She wouldn’t want it anyway. It’s bad enough that I might have to drag my son away one day to protect him.
A sigh catches in my throat, and I take Eric through to my studio. “Here it is.” I lift the canvas. “Do you like it?”
“Bloody fantastic.” He bites the words out. “My buyer will love it.”
“Great.” What else can I say? Whoop-de-doo. Another one bites the dust. I can churn them out like a fucking factory worker.
Eric takes the painting to his car while I rustle up some lunch. Just a couple of cheese sandwiches and a pot of ready-made soup. I think about Catrin again. What would have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted? My dick grows hard and heavy as I imagine how I’d have ripped off her jeans, spread her wide and fucked her with my tongue, sucking and biting on her clit until she exploded. I’d have given her multiple orgasms then carried her upstairs, tied her to the bed and pounded into her. Not going to happen now, I promise myself. No fucking way.
Eric returns stinking of cigarette smoke. He rubs a hand through his dark blond hair. “So, you’ve made friends with your new neighbour, have you?” he smirks.
“Yep.” I don’t like his insinuating tone of voice.
“She’s rather attractive.”
She’s more than attractive. She’s fucking beautiful. I keep my thoughts to myself. “How are things in London?” I ask to change the subject.
“I was about to tell you.” A worried look spreads across his pale face. “The Russians have started behaving badly again. The news will be made public tomorrow. A couple of your countrymen were murdered last week. We think by your brother’s associates.”
A slither of ice slips down my spine.
Chapter Nine
Catrin
The ‘Brute’ side of Daniel’s personality is back… has been since I walked out his front door the other day. He barely acknowledges my existence, just gives me a brief nod at the school gates. When Mum and Dad visited on the weekend, and I introduced them to him over the garden hedge, he said he’d never wanted to visit Wales. When Dad asked why, Daniel simply shrugged and muttered, ‘too many sheep.’ I mean, for God’s sake, he could have come up with something more original. So rude of him. I was about to tell him so, but he spun on his heel and strode back into his cottage, leaving Dad staring after him open-mouthed.
It’s Monday morning now, and I’m sitting at my desk trying to get on with some invoices, except my mind isn’t on them. I purse my lips together, my stomach heavy as lead.
The sound of a lawnmower draws me to the window. He’s out there; cutting the grass in his front garden. I stare at his muscular arms, his broad back, his dark hair. He isn’t handsome, not like Josh was handsome, but he’s rugged and masculine and so damn hunky. I close my eyes and remember how his touch unravelled me, how soft his beard felt when I’d threaded my fingers through it, how much I’d enjoyed his rough kisses. My tummy flutters.
This is ridiculous.
I’m ridiculous.
Don’t think about him, Cat.
Sighing, I turn from the window and try to get back to work.
Later, I’m standing in front of my fridge, staring at an unopened bottle of wine. Over the weekend, with Mum and Dad watching my every move, I managed not to drink. Except now I’m alone, and the only sound I can hear is the ticking of the kitchen clock. I just want the loneliness to subside. The wine is calling to me; it will help me, stop me from feeling so alone.
I shudder; I shouldn’t have any in the middle of the day. The last thing Becca needs is an alcoholic mum. I set my jaw and fill a glass with soda water. After glugging it down, I make a tuna sandwich, then whistle for Toby. He trots up and I grab his lead. “Time for a walk, boy.”
Outside, the air has turned cooler than I was expecting. I set off at a brisk pace, down the path through the woods. I don’t know if I’m heading this way deliberately, hoping to meet Daniel, or if it’s just random. Whatever; I’m disappointed when I don’t see him doing those stretching exercises in the clearing where I came across him three weeks ago.
I keep going until I reach a field on the other side of the woods. There aren’t any sheep grazing, so I unclip Toby’s leash. He races around, sniffing the grass, looking for rabbits. I find a small mound and sit, stretching out my legs. It’s chilly and I wrap my arms around myself, hugging my coat to my body.
Footsteps pound behind me, and I almost jump out of my skin. I turn and stare at Daniel, his tight t-shirt clinging to his hot body. He comes to a halt and gives me one of his glowering looks. “Good afternoon.”
I return his greeting, wiping my clammy hands on my jeans. “Alright?” Jesus, I sound so Welsh. “I mean, is everything okay?”
“Sure,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
I scuff my boots on the grass. “Have I done something to offend you?”
A frown darkens his face, and he sits on the mound next to me. “What are you talking about?”
I look him directly in the eye. “We were getting on so well, then it’s like I’ve developed an infectious disease or something. You’ve gone back to being horrible.”
He gazes into the distance. “I apologize.” His voice cracks. “You should keep away from me, Cat. I’ve told you before that I’m toxic.”
I stare at my feet. Like a bolt from the blue, it occurs to me that I can’t keep away from him. There’s something about Daniel Collins. Something deep and dark and compelling. I’ve never met anyone like him, and he fascinates me. It’s not just his physicality, it’s more. I want to explore whatever it is; I want to know him better.
I think about what I’d really like, and my cheeks burn. It’s been too long since I felt the hardness of a man’s body against my softness.
Fantasy, that’s all.
It will never happen.
And it shouldn’t happen.
A shiver wracks my body.
“Are you cold?” he asks politely.
Sudden tears fill my eyes, and I knuckle them away.
“What’s the matter?” His brows furrow.
I release a slow breath. “When you kissed me last week.” I think about what to say next. “It shocked me. Josh was my one and only. I’m over his loss, but I never thought about being with another man.”
“And now?” His eyes meet mine, smouldering with something unidentifiable.
I look away, suddenly embarrassed. Oh, God. My skin is burning, and I’m sure I’ve gone bright red. My tummy lurches, but I decide to come right out with it. “I think you’re still angry about losing your wife. I remember feeling that way. I wanted to help you. But I was wrong.”
“I wish things could be different,” he says, putting an a
rm around me and drawing me into the warmth of his taut chest. The spice of his sweat fills my nostrils. I glance upward and find myself falling into the depths of his dark eyes.
My heart thuds.
His hold tightens, and I lift my hand to run my fingers through his beard. His gaze is hot, hungry. I touch his full soft lips and then his high cheekbones. He closes his eyes, and a groan escapes his throat. “I said you should stay away from me, and I meant it.” His breathing is fast, ragged.
“I… I can’t.” The words come out strangled. There’s an ache between my legs and deep inside me. I run my hand down Daniel’s corded neck, and then up his strong arms, stroking the beautiful tats on his bulging biceps. God, I must be out of my mind. Daniel exudes sex, but he also exudes a potent danger. He warned me off him; I should do as he says.
Except, my need for him is so fierce I can’t keep my head straight.
“Are you sure?” He arches a black brow.
My heartbeats quicken. “I’ve tried to stay away from you. Believe me. You’re a brute most of the time.” I stroke the hair from his forehead and gaze into his troubled eyes. “I see your pain, though.”
“Jesus, Cat. You tempt me beyond measure.” With a groan, he crashes his mouth down on mine, his tongue pushing roughly between my lips. He tastes of sweat and tears.
Every nerve in my body is on fire. I press my pebbled nipples against his powerful pecs. He pulls me into his lap, and I wrap my legs around his hips. He grips my waist and grinds his hardness against me.
“I’ve got to touch you,” he growls, unzipping my jeans.
“Someone might see us.”
He gives a gruff laugh. “There’s no one here. We’re completely alone except for your dog.”
He kisses the doubt from my mouth, his tongue delving deep as he sucks all the air from my lungs. His fingers fist my hair, pulling at it. I shouldn’t like his roughness, except I freaking love it. He bites my lower lip, and I let out a needy whimper.
