Damaged and the Bulldog

by Bijou Hunter

  I climbed out of the SUV and nearly ran for the door. Fighting the urge, I walked slowly next to Dylan while pinching hard at my arms.

  “I wouldn’t hurt you,” he said without looking at me. “I hope you’re not scared of me.”

  “I’m not,” I whispered.

  “You’re just scared.”

  “The past sticks to me and I can’t wash it off.”

  “My past makes me act like an asshole sometimes. You should be ready for that.”

  Despite my fear, his comment made me laugh. We reached the front door and I struggled to remain calm. I needed away from him as much as I craved to be closer.

  Dylan watched me for a minute. “Do you like movies? If we go to a movie tomorrow, you won’t have to worry about talking. Would you like that?”

  Unable to speak, I nodded.

  “I’ll text you in the morning with info.”

  Dylan slowly wrapped his arms around me and I forced myself to lean into his embrace. I both hated and loved the feel of him. The confusion in my head was too much and I stepped back.

  “Is it me?” he asked, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. “Did I do something?”

  Shaking my head, I stared into his eyes with my wet ones. “It’s me.”

  “Do you still want to go to the movies tomorrow?”

  Once I nodded immediately, his expression softened. “First dates are tough, huh?”

  I smiled and shuffled towards the door. “I’ll do better tomorrow.”

  Dylan watched me disappear inside. Once the door was shut behind me, I felt all the panic take over.

  “Did he do something?” Harlow asked as I ran past her to my room.

  I heard her talking to my parents, but I never slowed down. Ripping off my clothes, I hurried into the shower even before the water was warm. The soap scrubbed away the bad feelings left behind by an ugly past I didn’t remember. My mind though focused on Dylan.

  His cologne was subtle and I still smelled it in my hair from our hug. I remembered his hot breath against my skin and how perfectly straight his teeth were when he smiled.

  I loved his smile and the sound of his voice. I loved the slight stubble I felt against my face when we kissed. I loved how his calloused fingers were always tender. Dylan was perfection, but I didn’t stop washing until I couldn’t smell or feel him anymore.

  Emerging from the shower, I found Harlow sitting on the closed toilet.

  “Explain,” she said, looking haunted. “Mom and Dad think something bad happened or that you’re not ready. Tell me they’re wrong and I didn’t fuck up by setting up this date.”

  Wrapping myself in a towel, I stared at my sister and thought about how clueless she was about men. Maybe even more clueless than me. At least, I had a crush on a guy. Harlow planned to keep her vagina closed to business forever.

  I tipped my head over, spraying her with water from my hair.

  “Hey,” she grumbled.

  I wrapped my hair then stood up. “Dylan kissed me and tasted really good.”

  “So why are you scrubbing yourself that way?”

  “My head wants him to touch me, but my body hates it. I forced my body to deal with the touching then I gave it a shower as a reward.”

  I walked into the bedroom where Mom fluffed my pillows.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I really like Dylan.”

  Mom nodded then took the towel I dropped once slipping into my long flannel nightgown.

  “We’re going to the movies tomorrow.”

  “You’ll take Harlow or Jace with you.”

  I glanced back at a frowning Harlow. “I don’t want to take Jace.”

  “Then I guess I’m going to the movies. Better not be anything lame.”

  Once Harlow left the room, I stood with Mom who studied me.

  “Maybe you’re not ready.”

  “Maybe I’ll never be ready. I like Dylan and he’s right now. I can’t wait.”

  “Is he pressuring you?”

  “No,” I said, taking Cookie Monster off the shelf and sitting him next to me on the bed. “Dylan is patient. Sweet too. Most guys wouldn’t be okay with having a chaperone. He didn’t care. He just wanted to hang out with me.”

  Mom smiled. “Sweet is good. Your dad is sweet. He’ll punch a guy in the face for looking at my ass too. Complicated is best.”

  “Dylan is complicated.”

  “Then I’m glad you’re dating him.”

  Nodding, I knew Mom wanted to leave and reassure Dad. I wanted her to do the same. Dad might be a man of God, but he had no problem with his club dishing out biblical vengeance.

  I had found a rerun of The Big Bang Theory when Harlow returned in her pajamas. She climbed under the blankets and rested her head on my shoulder.

  “Dating is a lot of work. Sure you want to keep doing it?”

  “I’m sorry you have to come with me tomorrow, but I like Dylan and I like how he likes me.”

  “He’s nice, Winnie, but he’s a guy. They want stuff we can’t give them.”

  The thought of having sex made my stomach clench. Yet remembering Dylan’s lips on mine, I smiled.

  “He said I’m a good woman. Not hot, but good. A guy wanting me because he thinks I’m hot won’t last. Dylan sees good in me. I like that.”

  “Men lie,” Harlow said quietly.

  “I know,” I whispered, handing her the doll. “You’re having a bad night.”

  “I don’t want a guy touching me ever.”

  “I felt the same way until Dylan. Now I want him to touch me even if it scares me.”

  Harlow glanced at me and saw me smiling. “I’ll go to the movies, but this time you have to do more of the talking. I can’t fake a good personality two days in a row.”

  I laughed as we moved farther under the covers. “I wanted to touch Dylan’s face tonight. I’m going to try and do it tomorrow.”

  “Good luck with that. I wanted to ignore both of you and play games on my phone. I’m going to try and do that tomorrow.”

  Laughing again, we turned off the light and watched TV. I didn’t doze off for hours, but finally dreamed of Dylan working on a house while I watched from a distance. He seemed so far away until the end of the dream when I turned around and found him watching me. His smile erased my fears.

  Chapter Six ~ Dylan

  After Winnie went into the house, I forced myself to go home. This plan lasted for an hour before I was driving past the Todds’s house on my way to a Whiskey Kirk’s.

  I’d started visiting the bar because of my stepsister Raven. Her husband was the enforcer for the Reapers Motorcycle Club. Normally, I wouldn’t want to hang around men so willing to kill a guy for offending them. Except I took a bullet to the chest while trying to protect Harlow and Winnie. This led to me being part of the crew, making me accepted and protected.

  Like most Friday nights, Vaughn and Raven were at the bar. In a corner booth, they sat with Reapers enforcer Judd and his wife Tawny. As I approached, Raven remained oblivious. She was too busy fending off Vaughn’s tickling hands. Next to them, Judd and Tawny ignored the racket while whispering to each other.

  Judd noticed me first and threw a handful of peanuts at Vaughn who was getting his ponytail yanked on by a ticklish Raven.

  “Dick,” Vaughn muttered, fixing his hair and wiping peanut shells off his shirt.

  Raven adjusted her tee and smiled at me. “Hey, bro. Hair’s growing out nicely.”

  Rolling my eyes, I pulled a chair over and sat down. “Am I interrupting?”

  “Yeah,” Judd said immediately. “Thanks because these two are fucking idiots.”

  Vaughn grinned. “Ignore his bad mood. We kicked their asses at pool a few minutes before you got here. His ego is still weeping the tears of a fool.”

  Judd flipped off Vaughn who acted shocked. The women laughed then I knew Raven was going to bug me the way only she could.

  “Why are you alone on a Friday night? Don’t tell me the
mohawk was your bait to get dates.”

  “Why do people in relationships obsess over those who aren’t?”

  “Pity,” Raven said without missing a beat.

  “I know a girl,” Tawny suggested. “I met her when I worked at Denny’s. She’s a friend of Lark’s too. Oh, and she’s cute.”

  I shook my head while ordering a beer from the waitress.

  “Are you still hung up on Lark?” Raven asked, squinting at me. “She’s sort of taken and currently gestating a litter.”

  Vaughn snorted at the word, “litter.”

  “My friend from Denny’s likes to bowl,” Tawny said, instantly making her more appealing to Vaughn.

  I didn’t see any reason to hide the fact that I was dating Winnie. No other guy in his right mind would keep a hot girlfriend a secret.

  “I just came from having dinner with Winnie,” I said, remaining silent about Harlow playing my chaperone.

  The four of them instantly lost their smiles and studied me. Keeping it a secret was the smarter route.

  “How’d that go?” Raven asked.

  “Good. Thanks for asking.”

  I took few long swigs of beer and nearly finished the bottle before Vaughn cleared his throat.

  “You need to be careful with that one. She is club protected like Bailey. Do wrong by Winona and you’re toast.”

  “She prefers the name Winnie and why would I wrong her?”

  Raven looked worried about me. While her concern was endearing, I didn’t look forward to her advice.

  “She’s got great hair,” was her brilliant addition to the conversation.

  I smiled. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Careful,” Vaughn whispered.

  “Is she protected because she’s the daughter of a Reaper?” Tawny asked. “Wouldn’t all the kids be protected, so what’s the big deal about Winnie?”

  “Kirk found her and claimed her as Reapers family,” Judd said.

  Tawny and Raven frowned at him while I tried to act disinterested. Judd pretended like he didn’t notice their interest until Vaughn kicked him and the two growled at each other.

  “Dish, bitch,” Vaughn demanded.

  “I’ll throw the rest of these fucking peanuts at you, fuckwad.”

  “Whatever. I could use the snack.”

  Judd rolled his eyes and glanced at me. “This was before my time, but I heard about it from Kirk’s guys. So there was a club called the Vandals from Mississippi who moved out this way when they got in trouble with the law. The president was a guy named Sugar Bum, if you can believe it. He thought he was a badass and his club was full of young thugs he recruited from prisons. When they came into Kirk’s territory, they shoved aside people approved by the Reapers.”

  Judd glanced around to make sure the bar was full of club loyalists.

  “So they come to Kentucky and take out a few dealers and meth labs. Kirk doesn’t micromanage shit in the state. The club gives approval to certain groups to work his area for a piece of their profits. If the groups don’t pay up, they get forcibly replaced. The Vandals showed up and acted like they didn’t need to kiss the ring,” Judd said, leaning back and wrapping an arm around Tawny.

  Vaughn gave me a dark look. “Everyone kisses the ring.”

  “These Vandals fucks keep doing what they’re doing until Kirk decides he’s going to do what he does,” Judd continued. “Let’s just say that back in the day in Memphis, the old man didn’t do accounting work. The Vandals might have been badasses in Mississippi, but they died just like anyone else who doesn’t kiss the ring. Anyway, the club was living out of a shitty motel when the Reapers caught up with them. While doing a cleanup of the place, Kirk found Winnie.”

  Tawny leaned her head against her husband’s chest and I saw something dark in her eyes that reminded me of Winnie.

  “Kirk found out her dad sold her to the club to pay a debt. No one could find her mom, so he brought her to Tad and Toni who had taken in another orphan a few years back.”

  Raven frowned at this information, so Judd explained. “You know Beckett doing time for punching a fat guy at the fair? Tucker’s best friend. The stupid guy.”

  Raven shrugged. “Stupid people blur together for me.”

  Judd rolled his eyes. “So Tad and Toni took in Winnie.”

  “Poor kid,” Raven said, giving Tawny a quick glance.

  The enforcers focused their glares on me, but I wasn’t intimidated. Not if they planned to tell me to stay away from Winnie. Losing her wasn’t even an option.

  “Winnie is a pretty good bowler,” Vaughn finally said and Judd glared at him. “What? So few of you shitheads can bowl. I’m sick of my woman being the only one to challenge me. What happens when she gets all round with my seed?”

  “Seed?” Raven said, laughing. “I like when you use medical terms.”

  Vaughn finished his beer then started tickling Raven again. She squirmed under the table, knocking against it and spilling Judd’s beer.

  “Fuck it,” he said, standing up. “I’m playing pool.”

  Tawny joined her husband. “Wanna play, Dylan? Those two will be at it for a while. Apparently, they just recently figured out Raven’s ticklish.”

  “Don’t be fooled!” Vaughn yelled over Raven’s laughter. “Tawny and Judd will ditch you the minute one of them looks at the other one for too long and the need to fuck overwhelms them.”

  “I’ll take my chances,” I said, following Judd and Tawny to a table.

  After a few minutes, I felt Tawny watching me. While she’d always been friendly, I never felt comfortable around her. Mainly because her husband killed people. He was like Vaughn without the silly one-liners.

  “You really like Winnie.”

  Unable to respond without giving away how much I cared for Winnie, I just nodded.

  “She might seem cold sometimes or maybe she pushes you away even though you sense she wishes you were closer. Be patient and she’ll find a way to get close.”

  “I will,” I said, smiling at her advice. “Winnie is like no one I’ve ever met and I’ll wait for her.”

  “Patience is the key,” Judd said, wrapping an arm around Tawny. “My woman was patient with me and I finally came around. I didn’t make it easy for her though.”

  Tawny smirked. “Drama queen.”

  When Judd smiled down at her, Vaughn’s prediction came true. I disappeared from the world as Judd and Tawny’s gazes locked on one another. They left the bar without saying another word.

  “Told you,” Vaughn said, taking Judd’s stick. “Happens every time.”

  “I resent how much hornier they are for each other,” Raven whined. “I mean I’m hot, right?”

  Vaughn shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

  “Asshole,” she growled, tugging up at her shirt. “I’ll flash the ladies for everyone to see then take a poll about how hot I am.”

  Vaughn’s smile faded. “Mine. No one sees them.”

  Getting the response she wanted, Raven fixed her shirt. “Mine. Me like woman. Me talk caveman. Me lack brain cell.”

  “I can’t help that you make all the blood run out of my big head to my other head.”

  “You’re a poet.”

  “Yeah, I am, Jellybean.”

  Raven made her shot then gave me one of her looks. “Are you acting clingy and weird around Winnie like you did with Lark?”

  “No,” I muttered. “My feelings for Lark were…”

  “Bizarre,” Raven said when I didn’t finish.

  “Misguided. I wanted her to be someone she isn’t. With Winnie, I like her the way she is.”

  Raven grinned. “That’s pretty sweet. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  “Winnie is special, so don’t mess this up for me.”

  “Mess it up how?”

  “Don’t tell her the Lark thing.”

  “Yeah, that wasn’t cool,” Vaughn said. “Not only is Lark your sister, she’s also a midget.” When Raven smacked his arm, he
shrugged. “I mean little person.”

  “Asshole. I’m giving you shitty sex tonight for that comment.”

  “Bet I won’t even notice.”

  “Oh, you’ll notice. Trust me about that.”

  Vaughn wrapped her in his arms. “I’ll make it right. Don’t stress it, Twinkie.”

  Raven pushed him off and focused on me. “I’ll keep your weird shit on the DL. I’m sure Lark will too. We both want you to be happy.”

  “Thanks, Raven.”

  “Heartwarming,” Vaughn said, wrapping her in his arms again. “I need reassurance. Pay attention to me.”

  Raven gave me a wink then turned around in her husband’s arms and sucked on his tongue. They stayed at it for long enough that I felt the need to finish my beer and leave.

  Before going home, I drove past Winnie’s house. I hoped she was sleeping soundly and looking forward to our next date. After hearing Judd’s story about the Vandals, I suspect Winnie might be having second thoughts about us.

  Chapter Seven ~ Winnie

  Harlow had a lot of anger and thought roller derby might help her get it out in a productive way. The problem was she wasn’t a great skater, so she asked Raven for help.

  I didn’t want to join the Storm Babes, but I decided to come along to watch her train. Bailey also wanted to join us. In the chaos of making plans, I agreed to bring Jace along. He wasn’t thrilled.

  “Hey, kid,” Bailey said, looking at Jace. “Sawyer is also a child. Be friends and play together, so I can ignore her and pay attention to Winnie.”

  Jace frowned darkly as Sawyer took his hand. “I don’t want to skate.”

  “No one cares,” Sawyer growled. “Don’t let me fall.”

  “Whatever you say, princess.”

  I grinned at Jace, but he didn’t share my amusement. Bailey rolled her eyes at the kids then turned to me.

  “Nick still loves me.”

  “Why would he stop?” I asked, skating carefully into the rink.

  “You’ve met me. I can be too amazing for some people. I wear them down with my awesome until they want me dead. It happens.”

  As Bailey wrapped her arm through mine, we moved slightly faster.