Damaged and the Bulldog

by Bijou Hunter

  “Nick isn’t some people. He’s your guy.”

  “Hell yeah,” Bailey said, smiling. She opened her mouth to speak, but paused as Harlow and Raven raced by.

  “Faster!” Raven yelled and I saw Harlow pushing herself.

  “Nuts,” Bailey muttered then grinned at me. “Anyway, I heard you had a date with Dylan. Are you in love yet?”

  “It doesn’t work like that.”

  “How do you know?”

  I shrugged. “We’re going to the movies tonight.”

  “Bringing the chaperone?” Bailey asked, gesturing to Harlow racing around the rink and trying to keep up with Raven.

  “Yes.”

  “You know that’s weird, right?”

  “It’s Dad’s idea.”

  “Being a pastor’s daughter can’t be easy. Men are so protective of their daughters. I won’t be like that with mine. I’ll let them run the streets like my sons.”

  Doubting Bailey would appreciate my response to her plan, I didn’t share it.

  “I’ve never dated before, so Dad wants me to feel safe.”

  “Fair enough, but Dylan is a sexy guy who doesn’t usually go on chaperoned dates. I hope he doesn’t get weird about it. He’d be missing out on Winnie love.”

  I smiled, but her words freaked me out. Bailey glanced at her little sister who was tugging at Jace.

  “Faster, weenie,” Sawyer barked.

  Jace came to a stop and glared at her. She crossed her arms and glared up at him. I watched them until Bailey pulled me out of the rink.

  “Let’s leave the lovers to quarrel without an audience,” she said, sitting down on a bench. “So how did it go with Dylan really?”

  “Okay. He kissed me and I liked it, but I also got a little weird. I’m hoping he didn’t get mad about that.”

  “Raven told me Dylan came by the bar last night. She said you two were dating and he was really into you. Like hump your leg into you. I wouldn’t worry that he’s mad.”

  I smiled. “He’s gentle, but not weak. I know that sounds stupid, but this one guy from church in Tennessee liked me. He was really nice, but he seemed weak and I didn’t feel like he could protect me. I know I shouldn’t need protecting. Harlow doesn’t. She punches people in the face, but I get scared and panic. When my dad is around, I feel safe though because I know he’s tough. I feel that way with Dylan too.”

  “The guy did get shot trying to save you. He also attacked armed bikers with a hammer. That’s pretty manly.”

  Smiling, I watched Harlow struggling to keep up with Raven who wasn’t even breaking a sweat. I knew my sister wanted to be badass like a man, but skating wasn’t coming easy for her.

  “We should double date,” Bailey said. “Nick and I need to go out with a couple that won’t ditch us halfway through a meal because they’re horny.”

  “Maybe when I don’t need a chaperone anymore.”

  “Yeah, I’m not looking to hang out with another couple plus a third wheel. No offense to Harlow.”

  “She plans to live her life without a man.”

  “Good for her. Someone needs to take a stand against all this love shit and it ain’t gonna be me.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not in love with Dylan.”

  “You will be. Give it a date or two then I won’t be able to pry you off him.”

  Shuddering, I shook my head. “I don’t think I can be comfortable with sex ever. As much as I like Dylan, this thing won’t last. I want it too, but I can’t have sex.”

  “You never know. In the beginning, Farah was frigid like Antarctica and now she can’t get enough of Coop’s dong. If Dylan is sweet to you, you might defrost all over him.” Bailey and I shared a frown. “That sounds gross, but you know what I mean.”

  “Maybe, but only time will tell, so I’m not over thinking it.”

  “Good for you. I always over think things. I can’t stop thinking. It’s why I’m always right.”

  I squinted at her and she grinned. “I like when you think stuff about me, but don’t say them. Unlike Raven who blurts out her insults.”

  Laughing, we returned to the rink. I noticed Harlow in the death throes while Raven dragged her by the hand. On the other end of the rink, Jace skated quickly with Sawyer holding the back of his shirt. They seemed to be having more fun than my sister who finally collapsed on her butt.

  “I’m done.”

  “I blame Raven,” Bailey said. “She’s a really bad teacher.”

  “Eat shit and pickles, dumbass.”

  “See what I mean?” Bailey said to me while I helped Harlow up. “She has no people skills.”

  Raven took a swipe at Bailey who screamed and skated very slowly away.

  “Not worth the effort,” Raven said then went to skate with the kids.

  “Are you okay?” I asked as Harlow and I stumbled to the bench.

  “I’m so out of shape.”

  “No, you’re not. Skating’s hard.”

  “I definitely need more cardio.”

  Leaning her sweaty face against me, Harlow drank an entire bottle of water.

  “Nervous about tonight?” she asked.

  “No. You’ll be there.”

  “I’m not asking him anything this time. You need to be chatty with the boytoy.”

  “I don’t know what to ask.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  I shrugged.

  “Ask him why he wears all those shirts with a bulldog on the front? Maybe he has a fetish. You’ll want to know that in case things move to the marriage and baby carriage stages.”

  Smiling, I checked my watch and counted the hours before Dylan would arrive at my house to pick me up for the movies. My stomach lurched at the thought of seeing him again. Dread came first, but then a warm sensation in my gut took over.

  Dylan might be my Cooper Johansson, the guy who thawed my frigid ways. While this wasn’t the most romantic idea I’d ever heard, I still prayed Bailey was right.

  Chapter Eight ~ Dylan

  The temperature dropped nearly twenty degrees from when I got up at eleven to the time I arrived at the Todds’s house at five. I zipped up my dark brown leather jacket then knocked on the door.

  Jace answered and gave me the once over before letting me inside. I stood in the living room of the modernized 1960’s house and hoped Winnie wasn’t hiding in her room. Just before my worries cemented into full fledged fear, she appeared from the hallway.

  If any other girl looked at me like Winnie did right then, I would cross the distance between us and swept her into my arms.

  Her hazel eyes were so bright with excitement in a way I’d never seen them before. Based on her big smile, I sensed she had been counting the hours until we were together again.

  As I struggled against the urge to kiss her, Winnie smiled wider like she knew what she did to me.

  “You look beautiful,” I said unable to stop myself.

  Looking a little insecure, Winnie ran a hand over her green sweater. “Thank you. Harlow picked it out.”

  “I’ll be sure to thank her.”

  Winnie’s smile lit up the room. “I was worried you’d be mad about last night.”

  “You mean how it was perfect?”

  Winnie gave me a knowing grin. “Harlow is having hair issues. She’ll be out in a minute. Do you want to wait outside?”

  “It’s really cold.”

  Winnie retrieved her jacket from the closet then called out goodbye to her little brother.

  “I want practice being alone with you.”

  Giving her a little grin, I opened the door and we walked into the chilly evening. Winnie’s nose turned pink within two minutes and I had the urge to warm her up.

  “What did you do today?” she asked, sounding nervous.

  “Nothing much. Just a little laundry.”

  “I went roller skating with Harlow and Jace. Bailey and Raven were there. Harlow is training to join the roller derby team.”

  Una
ble to stop myself, I caressed her cheek with the back of my knuckles. “I can’t skate. I’d end up on my ass in five seconds.”

  “I’d hold you,” she offered, but her bravado barely hid the fear in her voice.

  “I could arrange that.”

  Winnie smiled, but her breathing told me she was on edge. The intimacy of this moment and the need we both felt was eating away at her confidence.

  After quickly tracing her perfect lips, I stepped back. “Patience is a virtue.”

  Winnie smiled, even while having trouble making eye contact. “Patience isn’t always easy.”

  “Sometimes, it’s worth it though.”

  Holding my gaze, she smiled and nodded. “Sometimes.”

  Harlow opened the door then shivered at the cold wind. “Bye, Mom, Dad, and Jace.”

  “Go away!” Jace yelled back, but I caught the boy grinning.

  Harlow ignored his comment and walked past us to the driveway. “Let’s get going. I want time to get popcorn and a giant soda on your dime.”

  Grinning, I opened the SUV doors for both girls. Once I joined them, I noticed Harlow deep in love with her phone. It was almost like Winnie and I were alone.

  During the drive, Winnie placed her hand on my right arm then took it off then returned it. I made no notice of her touch, allowing her to build her confidence without putting her on the spot.

  My mind demanded restraint. Winnie was fragile and needed a man willing to wait for her. However, my body demanded more. Winnie was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Her hair looked so soft and I could smell the sweet aroma of her shampoo. Despite every attempt to keep my need in check, I imagined her legs wrapped around me. Her lips against mine. Her moans echoing in my ear.

  Unable to stop myself, I took her hand and placed it against my lips. Winnie exhaled hard, startled by the suddenness of my touch. I softly kissed the top of it. I wanted to keep her hand in mine, but her trembling forced me to let her go.

  Winnie shrunk away from me. Though I hadn’t hurt her, she behaved as if under threat. Leaning against the door, she stared outside until Harlow shoved herself between the seats.

  “I’ve never had Raisinettes. Will you get me some?” she asked, either oblivious to Winnie’s fear or pretending to be.

  “Sure. Get whatever you want.”

  “Ooh, Mister Moneybags.”

  Harlow disappeared into the backseat and returned to her phone. I wanted to say something to Winnie to fix my moment of weakness. Instead, I focused on the road and tried to understand how such a small gesture could upset her so much.

  Winnie glanced at me then back out the window. Her legs were pressed tightly together as if fearful I might jump her at any moment.

  By the time we arrived, I was sulking. My pledge of patience hadn’t lasted and I’d spooked the only girl who made me feel like the kind of man I wanted to be.

  Winnie didn’t wait until I opened the door for her, but got out and took Harlow’s hand. I suspected the date was officially over and we were just going through motions now.

  The parking lot was crowded with people coming and going from the theater. I remained close to the girls who were still holding hands. To my surprise, Winnie took my hand as we neared the entrance.

  Frowning down at Winnie, I didn’t understand her mood swings. I was the bad guy minutes earlier, yet now I was in her good favor again.

  “Can I have Raisinettes too or is that too expensive?” she asked as we waited in line with the tickets I bought ahead of time.

  I stared down at Winnie while Harlow gave a passing guy a dirty look.

  “You can have anything you want,” I said, feeling deflated because I had no idea what she wanted.

  Winnie only nodded and remained silent until I joined them with the snacks and drinks.

  Harlow took her food and smiled. “Some douche tried to take your seat. A ball sac threat later and he changed his mind.”

  “She’s very good with the ball threats,” Winnie said as I settled down next to her.

  Confused, I nodded and stared at the screen. Winnie talked with Harlow until the previews began. I heard them mumbling about raisins and chocolates being against God. Normally, I’d find this funny, but my feelings were hurt. I just wasn’t sure if Winnie or I was at fault.

  As the movie began, Winnie leaned closer and stared at me. “You make me feel things I’m not comfortable feeling.”

  “I need to be close and I forget sometimes. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” she whispered. “I like when you touch me. I’m just scared to like it so much.”

  My pout slid into a smile. “You’re mine. I don’t know how I know, but I do. I think about you all the time and it’s killing me to wait. I will though because I only want you.”

  Winnie shared my smile and cuddled closer to me, going as far as to lean her head against my shoulder. The movie was a wild comedy, stupid, yet funny. My mind barely registered the story on the big screen. Instead, I nuzzled my lips against her soft hair. After she was finished eating popcorn, I took her hand in mine.

  For those two hours, Winnie was a normal girl on a date with a normal guy who didn’t sleep in his car outside her house most nights.

  Chapter Nine ~ Winnie

  Sunday was a busy day in my family. We got up early and enjoyed a morning buffet with the church volunteers. Our first service started at ten, the second at one. We shared lunch with a few of our parishioners. The day didn’t settle down until after dinner. This schedule left little time to see Dylan.

  Fortunately, Dylan missed me as much as I did him and arrived as the sun was setting.

  “I know you can’t go out, so I figured I’d drop by,” Dylan said, running a hand over his head. “I feel like a high school kid.”

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

  “Why?” he said, taking my hand. “I’m the one with a crush on a pretty girl.”

  Smiling, I glanced inside where Jace was playing videogames with Dad. I returned my gaze to Dylan and noticed he’d nicked himself shaving.

  “Do you want to sit on the back porch? It’s private and we can talk.”

  Dylan nodded and tentatively reached for my hand. Bracing for myself for the emotions that rushed over me whenever Dylan touched me, I took his hand in mine.

  “I’m getting better.”

  “Yes, you are,” he said, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

  Shivering at his touch, I led him past Dad and Jace and through the kitchen where Harlow tapped away on the laptop. The enclosed back porch overlooked our serene backyard. We settled down on the bench and I cuddled against him.

  “Where did you get all those bulldog shirts?” I asked, remembering Harlow’s question that I forgot to ask the night before.

  Dylan frowned a little then shrugged like he was feeling insecure or on the spot.

  “I like them,” I added.

  Dylan wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “I bought them in California. My mom had married a guy in the Bay Area and his brother ran a bait and tackle shop. On the weekends, I worked there under the table. After work, I’d walk down to the pier and fish. Anyway, there was a shirt shop on the walk and I ended up buying a bunch of the shirts because I lost most of my clothes in the move.”

  Dylan paused long enough to nuzzle his lips against my forehead. “Living in California was one of my happier times. I wear the shirts so I can remember that I didn’t always feel on the outside.”

  “Why on the outside?”

  “My parents are assholes. They’re always falling in love then falling out of love. We moved around a lot and I never had time to find any good friends. Even the time in Hermosa Beach didn’t last long and I was suddenly with my dad in Ellsberg. I just never found a place I felt I belonged.”

  “How about now?”

  Shaking his head, Dylan played with a lock of my hair. “I’ve had friends here since I was a kid. I thought they were cool, but they bailed when Dad put pressure on people to cut me of
f. I’d taken Lark’s side over his and the fucker thinks he’s an important man and should have his ass kissed at all times.”

  Pausing again, Dylan frowned as he remembered his asshole dad’s attempt to ruin him. “Anyway, those assholes bailed, but Lark and Raven came through for me. They talked to Cooper about helping me get jobs in town after my dad got my contracts cancelled. Soon, I was bowling with the crew. Now I have a business and friends and a girl I can’t get enough of. Yeah, I finally feel like I belong.”

  Smiling, I forced my lips against his. The urge to pull away was intense, but I refused to obey it. Dylan’s arms wrapped tighter around me and his free hand cupped my face.

  The kiss deepened. His tongue licked at my lips and I opened for him without thinking. Our bodies pressed together and I felt a combination of raging desire and blinding panic. I struggled against the latter for as long as I could before pushing him away.

  “Sorry,” Dylan mumbled, his lips at my temple.

  Even sensing he was really sorry, I was mostly relieved he wasn’t upset. “I’m not great at getting close to people.”

  Dylan studied my face. “I know Kirk saved you from some evil fucks.”

  My stomach clenched and I shifted away from him. “What do you know exactly?”

  “Just that your dad is an evil fuck too and he’s why you ended up with the bikers.”

  “Anything else?”

  Dylan shook his head. I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I figured the time had come to be honest about the past. Well, as honest as I could manage.

  “When I was little, my mom moved back to Europe. I can’t remember where she was from, but my dad said she was homesick and visiting family. She either never came back or we moved. I don’t remember her at all. I really do have a bad memory and I don’t remember a lot of things.”

  “Maybe that’s best,” Dylan said, tracing my lips with his thumb. “Remembering is overrated.”

  I ran my finger over the nicked flesh on his chin. Dylan shivered and moved closer.

  “You know the club owned me, right?”

  Dylan tensed next to me and the heat left his expression. He opened his mouth to respond then changed his mind and only nodded.