by Bijou Hunter
“You ever consider fighting? You handled yourself well when my dad and his shithead friends showed up.”
“Yeah, I thought about it. Not for the money though.”
“To see if you’d win? A lot of guys want to know if they could handle themselves, but I guess you already know.”
“I worry if I fight I might like it too much.”
Nick wanted me to explain, but the waitress arrived and took our order. Once we were alone, he focused on me.
“There is something liberating about beating the shit out of an asshole,” Nick said.
“No doubt. I did like fighting your dad and his friends.”
Nick studied me and I shrugged. “Sometimes, I have a ball of rage in me. I worry if I really let it loose I wouldn’t be able to reel it back in.”
Nick ran his hand through his dark hair and considered his words. “Look, I’m not trying to sell fighting to you. It’s an ugly and dirty business. You don’t need the money and have nothing to prove. I will say the rage you feel is something you control every day. If you couldn’t control that anger, you’d have lost it by now. I should know. I spent most of my life hating everyone around me. Hell, I even hated myself. I used the hate to win a fight then I’d pulled it back inside. With Bailey, the hate doesn’t bother me.”
Nick drank half of his glass of water then continued, “Mostly because she’s helped me stop seeing me the way my asshole dad did. I see me the way she does and I’m calmer. I sense your problem isn’t about self-worth though.”
I shook my head. “Living a soft life left me feeling edgy. I can’t really explain it, but I crave the hard edges,” I said then sighed. “I’m sure I sound like a pampered ass to you.”
“Yeah, but I deal with that shit with Cooper and Tucker all the time.”
Smirking, I leaned back. “Do you plan to join the club?”
“No,” he said immediately. “They’re my family, but I’m not stepping into their life. Not like that. If I have to die or kill to protect my family, I will, but I can’t agree to join a life in the one percent. I like riding a Harley, but that doesn’t make me biker material.”
“True. So things are good with Bailey?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t they be?”
Smiling, I didn’t answer.
When I said nothing, Nick grunted. “Yeah, Bailey has a mouth. I happen to find her bitching and moaning entertaining.”
“Well you’d have to, wouldn’t you?”
Nick grinned. “She’s sweet too. People don’t see that because of how obnoxious she can be, but the showing off crap is her defense mechanism. When we’re alone, she’s rarely obnoxious. Mostly, she wants to know I’m happy. How the hell can a guy not love that?”
Messing with my straw, I nodded. “I should know people aren’t usually what they show to the world. My father seems like a nice guy, but he’s a real fuckwit.”
“Glad you stopped following his lead. The world has too many fuckwits.”
“Lark gets full credit for that. I’d still be trying to make him value me if it wasn’t for her. I probably wouldn’t have met Winnie either.”
“Better watch yourself with Winnie. Well, not her, but Cooper. He’s looking to recruit guys he can trust into the club. Hooking up with Tad’s daughter puts you on Cooper’s radar. Hell, taking on the Devils when you were essentially unarmed put you on his radar. Now, the pinging must be deafening for him.”
“I doubt it. He’s never mentioned anything and I see him nearly every day.”
“Cooper paces himself. The club is transitioning over into his hands. He’s in no hurry to show his cards, but he’ll probably make a move with you before next year. Bailey talks a lot about family stuff and she says the guys from Memphis are pushing for Cooper to be fully in charge by sometime next year.”
Our food arrived and Nick smiled at his big bowl of spaghetti.
“I’m not telling you what your answer should be, but you said you crave the rough edges. Cooper and those guys live a life that doesn’t interest me. I don’t mind knowing what’s happening, but I can’t do what they need done. Whether you can or not is up to you, but I thought I’d give you a heads up.”
As Nick ate his lunch, I picked at mine. I felt uneasy about Cooper approaching me. Not so much about joining his lifestyle, but that I wouldn’t live up the standards they required. A privileged upbringing left me wanting more. Yet like Nick said, riding a Harley didn’t make me club material.
Chapter Thirteen ~ Winnie
Harlow wanted to buy a Harley with the money she won from fighting. Mom said no way and wished she would save the money for school or the future. Dad said spending so much money on a Harley when he had two in the garage made no sense. His solution was to have her drive the red one, hoping this satisfied her urge.
Harlow always drove nice and careful when we were on residential roads. Yet get her on a main strip and she drove as wildly as Bailey. All I could do was hold on and pray we didn’t die.
Fortunately, we arrived at the bowling alley without injury. I climbed off then steadied myself while Harlow fixed her hair.
“Speeding is fun,” she said, giving me a wink. “Learn to live a little, Winnie.”
Irritated at her for treating me like a dork when she was scared of a lot of stuff too, I said, “I might let Dylan see my boobs this weekend. I think that means I’m a bigger badass than you.”
Harlow frowned. “You should make him wait until you’re married to see your boobs. Why give it away for free?”
Sharing her frown, I glanced down at my chest then back at her. “What if I never get over my weird sex thing? He shouldn’t marry someone defective.”
“There’s more to marriage than sex. Besides, you’re not defective for thinking sex is gross.”
“True, but I want to look at Dylan’s boobs, so showing him mine is probably the fairest way to make that happen.”
Blank-faced, Harlow stared at me. Turning away, she shook her head. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Bailey Johansson had been a bad influence on you.”
Grinning, I followed her into the bowling alley where the bad influence sat on Nick’s lap.
“Hey, bitches, check my hickeys. My man marked me good.”
Harlow said nothing and kept on walking. I stopped though and checked out the hickeys on her neck. Nick just smirked while Bailey smiled like she’s won a prize.
“I have one too,” I said, showing off a new one near my ear.
“Slut,” Bailey cried. “I love it.”
“Who’s a slut?” Tawny asked, entering with a bored Judd.
“Winnie’s joined our slut club. Raven is still the ambassador though.”
Hearing her name as she entered, Raven played it safe and flipped us off. Tawny grinned while sizing up Raven and Vaughn’s matching bowling shirts.
Raven and Vaughn turned around to show off the back of the shirts which read “Big V” and “Better V.”
“You two are such dorks that I am embarrassed to be friends with you,” Bailey said, settling back on Nick’s lap. “Hey, should we get dork shirts too, now that we’re in love and everything?”
Nick gave her a great smile. “Our love transcends stupid shirts.”
“Watch it, Dragon,” Vaughn said, walking towards the lanes. “I’ve kicked asses for dumber reasons than mocking my shirts.”
Bailey flipped off Vaughn, but he was already focused on his designer bowling ball.
“I’m psyched to learn Dylan is a sexed crazed maniac,” Bailey announced. “Months ago, I stated Dylan was a horny toad. Nailed it again.”
I gave her a weird look and she laughed then pointed behind me where Dylan stood. He wore loose jeans hanging a little low on his hips and a blue tee clinging a little too tight along his chest. Even with Dylan feeling on the spot, his dark eyes shined when he saw me.
“Having Raven as a sister taught me to ignore annoying women,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Ho
w are you, Winnie? Glad to see you survived the ride over.”
Lifting my lips to his, I kissed him quickly. I really didn’t like having an audience. Especially if it included Bailey who was always keeping score.
“Are you going to bowl tonight?” Dylan asked me as a way to change the subject from him being a horny toad.
“I’ll try. I used to bowl with Mom and Dad, but I haven’t done so in months.”
Dylan gave me his look that said he understood why everything stopped last summer.
“Let’s see your moves,” Dylan said, taking my hand and walking towards the lanes.
As we approached, Farah smiled at us from where she had her feet up on a chair. Nearby, Cooper and Tucker bowled with Sawyer. The men dwarfed their little sister as they taught her to roll with one hand rather than both. She did it their way for a few minutes, but the ball kept rolling into the gutter. Finally, she took the ball by both hands and walked to a lane with the bumpers up.
After her ball bounced off each side a few times, it knocked down six pins. Sawyer screamed in triumphant. Shrugging, Cooper walked towards Farah.
“I taught her that.”
“Of course, you did,” Farah said, grinning. “Your wisdom rubs off on everyone.”
“I agree,” Tucker said, strutting towards Maddy. “As long as wisdom is code for bullshit.”
Farah laughed behind her hand while Cooper chased after his brother who ran out one of the side doors. Dylan watched the brothers then looked down at me.
“I used to be bummed that I never had a brother. Now I think I dodged a bullet.”
Even smiling, I thought about the bullet tearing into his chest as he tried to save me and Harlow. I placed my hand where I knew the scar hid under his tee. Dylan’s gaze found mine and we shared a moment separate from the noise around us.
“Sweet Winona,” he whispered, kissing my cheek.
“Sexy Dylan,” I whispered back and wrapped my arms around his waist.
Vaughn appeared next to us. “Less snuggles, more bowling.”
Frowning at his interruption, I sensed his behavior was related to the frown Harlow wore. I followed Vaughn to where Raven rolled a strike. She high fived him then handed me a ball.
I focused on the way Mom taught me to bowl. Taking a deep breath, I rolled the ball and waited for it to land in the gutter. Instead, I took out nine pins.
“Nice,” Vaughn said. “Think you can take out the last one?”
Glancing back at Dylan, I found him grinning like I was amazing. I focused on the remaining pin then took the ball Raven handed me. After a false start, I regained my composure and rolled.
“Hot damn,” Vaughn said when the ball clipped the final pin and knocked it down.
Smiling, I high-fived Dylan. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my neck, setting my skin on fire. For just a moment, I felt like a normal person out with her friends and boyfriend. None of the baggage from my past weighed me down. While the feeling didn’t last long, I still enjoyed a real taste of freedom.
Once Dylan rolled a strike, Vaughn was officially in love with us.
“Finally someone who can bowl,” he said, downing a beer. “Unlike Judd and Tawny who suck so very much.”
As Judd strolled over to roll a ball into the gutter, I excused myself to use the restroom. I hoped Harlow would come along and tell me why she was so grumpy. She didn’t though and I walked out to find Farah waiting for me.
We walked to the small pizza shop and sat at a table overseeing the lanes.
Farah gave me a little smile. “I was talking to Lark about your problem.”
“What problem?”
“You’re uncomfortable with sex. I had the same problem with Cooper when we started dating.”
Glancing around, I leaned closer. “How did you fix it?”
“Honestly, I didn’t. At first, I got the hang of feeling bad and good at the same time. Eventually, I only felt good. The more I was with Cooper, the less I thought about the past. I only saw him and he makes me happy, but it didn’t happen right away. I would cry and get tense. I would pull away even when I wanted to be close.”
“And having sex enough fixed that?”
Farah leaned back into the chair and rubbed her belly. “Not really the sex as much as being close to Cooper. I kept expecting him to hurt me or use me and walk away. I wanted to believe in him, but I also wanted to protect myself.”
Leaning forward again, she lowered her voice. “One time, before we were together, we just made out with our shirts off. It was scary to be so exposed, but I also felt good. I liked Cooper and wanted to be close to someone. When he held me and didn’t make fun of me for being scared, I started trusting him. It didn’t magically fix things, but it was a start. Over time, I would have fun during sex even if it took me longer to actually orgasm.”
I glanced at Dylan and bit my lip. “I really want to be close to him. I’m just worried I’ll freak out and he’ll ditch me.”
“I don’t think Dylan’s that kind of guy. He cares about you and has for a while. I saw him stealing glances at you months ago. His feelings are real. If you do freak out, he’ll understand. He wants all of you and he wants to keep you. You need to trust in that.”
I looked at where Dylan was getting bowling pointers from Vaughn. He wore a serious expression, clearly hoping to improve enough to give the V-team a run for their money.
“I’m going to practice.”
“Just remember what you’re feeling isn’t wrong. With time, you’ll get control of the bad feelings, but don’t blame yourself for having issues.”
“Have you tried therapy?” I asked.
Farah shook her head. “I’m going to try though. I’m really nervous about having the baby and Tawny says therapy helps her.”
“It takes some getting used to,” I admitted. “I guess we’re both going to practice until we get the hang of new things.”
Smiling, Farah scooted off the chair. “I better get back before Cooper thinks someone’s messed with his woman. He goes pretty caveman lately,” she said then added, “I love when he does. I know I shouldn’t, but I need him to make me feel pretty.”
“You are pretty.”
“This,” she said, rubbing her belly, “doesn’t always make me feel so sexy. Cooper loved the baby bump though.”
I instinctively placed my hand on my stomach and wondered about the future. Was it possible that with enough practice I could enjoy sex? Could I be a wife and mother one day with as much ease as I was a sister and daughter now? If practice was the secret, touching Dylan was going to be the most pleasurable experiment ever.
Chapter Fourteen ~ Dylan
My whole day sucked. I woke up in a weird position, having irritated the exit wound scar on my back. The spot bothered me all morning. Once a cold snap struck around noon, my chest scar throbbed too.
The guys on the worksite whined about the cold. A few were solely focused on the upcoming holidays. My only concern was getting Cooper’s office finished before the weather turned to shit and supplies got harder to come by.
Lunch upset my stomach and too much coffee only made it worse. By the time Nick showed up after his classes, I was in a shit mood.
“Go,” he said, pointing for the door. “Visit your woman and see if she can turn that frown upside down.”
While Nick snickered at my grumpiness, I left him to take over the jobsite. The guys were slacking off again when I walked past them. Hell, they didn’t even fake work for my benefit. Nick appeared behind.
“Oh, Dylan, I know a few guys looking for construction work. They have experience too. You might want to meet them.”
Frowning, I didn’t get his point, but the guys did. They were replaceable and Nick had no allegiance to them. Work picked up as Nick stood nearby. I left the office, feeling better than I had all day.
My good mood didn’t last long.
For whatever reason, Jace got on my nerves. He had a dark gaze like a predator dissecting its pr
ey. Whenever he smiled though, his face changed and I saw the kid underneath. Of course, he rarely smiled at the guy dating his sister.
“Busted,” Jace said, answering the door. “Poor dumb Dylan.”
Frowning, I was ready to ask what he meant. Winnie appeared first and walked past her brother, shutting the door on his smirk.
“What’s going on?” I asked, nervous after a long crappy day.
“Do you sit outside our house in your SUV?” she asked, staring at me wide-eyed. “Harlow said you do and she doesn’t lie to me.”
Even knowing this conversation was always a possibility, I didn’t know how to answer her. I shoved my hands into my pockets and stepped back. Needing a minute to think, I wanted to find the right words to make her understand. Except those words didn’t exist.
“Why would you do that?” she asked when I remained silent.
“I get tense,” I muttered. “I feel overwhelmed, I guess. My friends bailed on me when Larry pulled his shit. The business is taking off and that’s great, but it’s a lot of pressure. I felt alone until I met you.”
Winnie stared at me and I couldn’t read the expression in her normally expressive hazel eyes.
“When I met you and your family, I was still in a bad place after the blowup with my dad. I’d come into work, tense and even depressed. Once I saw you though, everything bad faded away. I looked forward to your visits. After the Devils, you stopped coming in and I missed the way you made me feel.”
Pausing, I rolled back on my heels like a scolded kid caught red handed. “So I’d drive by your house. I just need to know you were real. Soon, I was driving by before and after work. After awhile, I’d park a few houses down. I rarely saw you, but I knew you were close and that settled all the stress I was feeling. Eventually, I ended up sleeping in the car some nights.”
Winnie frowned. “You were sleeping in your car? You know that’s weird, right?”
“Yeah,” I muttered.
“Like mentally f’ed up weird. Stalker stuff.”
“I never had any evil plan to grab you or hurt you,” I said, defending my weirdness. “I just needed to be close.”
