“And he’s going to. Right fucking now, wife!” Derek declared as he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder caveman style, completely oblivious to the whistles and catcalls following them out of the room.
I guess our cover was blown.
Carly looked at me with embarrassment written all over her pretty little face. It annoyed the fuck out of me. She had absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. While Beau fussed over Payton, something was still up there, but I didn’t give a shit tonight. Connor led Zoe out onto the dancefloor.
“Dance with me.” I didn’t ask. There was no way I was about to give her the option to say no.
Gulping down the last of her beer, she set the empty bottle on the window sill and dropped her hand in mine. It felt right. Exactly as it should be. A moment later, we were rocking back and forth together, my hands on the small of her back, hers clutching my arms while Adele sang some sad, soppy song in the background.
Three songs later and we hadn’t moved. Carly’s head was resting on my shoulder and we were back in our own bubble. Except this time, it wasn’t in some dirty, stinking bathroom. It was out in the world where anyone could see. And no one cared. Why would they? We weren’t hurting anyone.
“You should dance with Holly.”
Where the hell did that came from? Carly looked up at me with wide eyes, and I knew I wouldn’t deny her anything.
“What?”
“Go and ask your sister to dance.”
“But I’m dancing with you.”
One minute I thought we were on the same page. We were together. How it was supposed to be. Then she blindsides me. With Carly in my life, things would never be boring.
“And I’ll be right here in a couple of songs. But please, Gage, dance with your sister. She looks so lonely.”
My eyes snapped up and followed Carly’s line of sight. She was right. Holly looked miserable. She was sitting in the corner on her own, holding her phone so tightly it looked like it might shatter under the force. Someone needed to go over to her. Someone needed to make her smile. Beau and Connor were nowhere in sight, so I guess it was all on me.
“Promise you’ll still be here?” I barely recognised the guy asking the question. I was so needy.
Carly didn’t answer. Not in words, anyway. Instead she rose up on her toes and pressed her lips against mine. When she pulled back, her cheeks were pink and her eyes downcast. I couldn’t have that. I wouldn’t. Returning her kiss, this time more demanding, I poured everything I had into it. I wasn’t going to give her any reason to doubt me. Or us. And you could bet your ass there was an us. Even if Carly wasn’t quite up with the program yet.
“I’ll be right back. And I’m going to hold you to that dance.”
“We’ll dance again.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
I watched Gage move towards his sister…okay, I watched Gage’s ass as he walked towards a very sad, very lonely looking Holly, and sighed heavily. I was still standing in the middle of the dance floor, but now I was standing all alone. When Gage pulled Holly to her feet, she reluctantly followed him back towards me, I realised I needed some space.
Heading towards the huge open doors, I snagged a can of Coke on my way. I didn’t want a Coke. I wanted another beer. Or a margarita. Or a shot of vodka. But I was driving. One disadvantage of living in the middle of nowhere was the complete lack of taxis. If you went out and got pissed you had two options. Sleep in the back of your car until you were sober enough to go home, or drive anyway. And as long as I was around, driving wasn’t an option.
Outside, night had fallen and the sky was inky black and littered with a million tiny stars. It was beautiful. Warm and still. Aussie summer at its best. The whole place still smelt like barbeque, and even though I’d already stuffed myself silly, the smell alone made my stomach grumble.
When someone bumped my shoulder, I spun around, spying Payton beside me wearing a weary grin. This girl amazed me. I mean, she shouldn’t. I’d known her forever and loved her just as long, but how she kept going day in and day out, it was beyond inspiring.
“Hey pretty girl.”
“Hey yourself. You looked like you were having fun out there.”
“Yeah, I was.” Even though it was the truth, I felt kinda down. It was odd, and I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t shake it either.
“Then what’s with the sad eyes?”
“Sad eyes?”
“Come on, Carly. I know you. Something’s going on in that head of yours. Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing.”
“No, it’s not. Now spill.”
Damn, she was getting bossy in her old age. When we heard a squeal, we both looked up and saw Connor with Zoe flipped over his shoulder as he twirled around in circles. I had no idea what the hell was up with these two, but any time they were in the same post code, it seemed like they were magnets. No matter how much they fought it, they couldn’t keep their distance.
“They’re cute.”
“Yeah, they are. Now, stop avoiding my question. What’s up?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re a liar.”
“Am not.”
“Carly…”
“Fine!” I huffed, giving in. Payton wasn’t likely to let this go anytime soon. I might as well talk to her. Not that she gave me much of a choice. “I’m embarrassed, okay? Happy now?”
“No, I’m not happy. And why the hell are you embarrassed?”
“Gage.”
“You’re embarrassed because of Gage? What’d he do?”
My frustration was growing. Obviously I wasn’t explaining myself very well, probably because I didn’t want to explain myself at all. “What we did…it shouldn’t have happened. I’m not that girl.”
“No one thinks you are.”
“But…”
“No, Carly. Listen. What happened with you and Gage, whatever it was because you won’t share details, it’s been coming for a long time. We’ve all had bets on it. So, who cares if it happened tonight or tomorrow or three weeks from now? All that matters is you’re happy. Does Gage make you happy?”
And right there was the million-dollar question. “You had bets on me?”
“Yeah. And I won!”
“Do I even want to know?”
“Probably not,” Payton admitted, her face turning beet red. “But don’t pretend you didn’t hear me. Does he make you happy?”
“I don’t know.”
“Could he? I mean, if you let him. Could Gage be your person?”
Leaning down I looked out over the yard and yawned. Suddenly I was tired. So very tired. “I think I’m going to head off. I’m still right to crash on your couch aren’t I?”
Payton leaned over and placed a kiss on my temple, almost like a mother would. “Always.”
“Thanks. We’ll…we’ll talk tomorrow.”
“No problem.” I knew Payton was aware of exactly what I was doing. I needed time to gather my scattered thoughts. Making rash decisions wasn’t my thing. Well, other than my bike, which turned out to be my best decision yet.
Dropping the half empty can into the bin, I scooped up my purse and headed for the exit. I almost made it too.
“Where do you think you’re going?” a deep, velvety smooth voice asked as a warm hand wrapped around my wrist, sending tingles through my body. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. There was only one man who had this effect on me. The issue was, right now I didn’t trust myself to meet his gaze.
“Home. I’m tired and my feet are killing me. Heels are not meant for normal people.” I was trying to lighten the mood.
“Carly…” My name was like an aphrodisiac as it fell from his lips. Lips I knew well. Lips I craved. My restraint was wavering and we both knew it.
“Gage.”
He didn’t give me a chance to say another word before he tossed me over his shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes. I could hear giggling around me an
d my first fear was that my whole ass was on display. This dress wasn’t exactly discreet.
“I got you,” Gage assured me loud enough so only I could hear. His arm settled right below the cheeks of my ass, holding my dress in place. At least we were on the same page with one thing.
“Come on, Gage. Put me down. Please?”
“Not on your life, sweetheart. Let’s go home.”
“What?” I squirmed, and as soon as I did, I realised it might not be the smartest move. Gage, though, was stronger than he looked. He tightened his grip and it was like a steel band around my legs. I wasn’t going anywhere in a hurry.
“I’m taking you home.” He said it with such authority I was almost too shocked to argue. But then, if I didn’t argue, I wouldn’t have been me.
“I’m not going home. I’m crashing on Payton’s couch. All I want to do is take off these torture devices called shoes, get out of this dress, and sleep for a week.” I sounded like a whiny teen, yet I didn’t even have the energy to care.
Next thing I know, I heard a clatter as my feet were freed. “Holly, can you pass me Carly’s shoes?” Gage spun around and I came face to face with a widely grinning Holly. After shooting me a thumbs up, she handed my shoes to her brother, who was still manhandling me.
“Happy now?”
“Kinda.”
“And I will be helping you out of that thing you call a dress as soon as we get home. So quit whinging about it and let’s go.” He delivered a slap on my ass, and I squealed, causing the room full of people to stop what they were doing and stare at me. I felt my face burn. Burying it against Gage’s back, I felt him chuckle before he called out, “Night all!”
A moment later he shuffled me into the front seat of his car, put my seatbelt on me like I was a child, then lean around and slipped behind the wheel. It was almost like he was afraid I was going to bolt. The thought may have crossed my mind once or twice. As soon as he reversed out of the parking spot, his hand found my thigh and instantly my whole body was vibrating. It surprised and scared me what this man could do with one innocent touch.
We drove for a bit before I had the courage to ask, “Where are we going?”
Gage looked over at me with intense, lust-filled eyes. At least I wasn’t the only one battling their urges. It made me feel slightly better. Thankfully it seemed I wasn’t standing out there on this limb alone. “I’m taking you home, pretty girl.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you taking me home?”
“So I can peel you out of that dress and show you exactly how beautiful you are.”
I don’t know why his words affected me so much. “So this is all about sex for you? You just want to finish what you started.” Even I knew I was being harsh as the words came out. I just couldn’t stop them.
But Gage could stop the car. He pulled over so quickly I was thrown forward in my seat, and without the belt holding me, I would have head butted the dashboard. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Wow! I’d struck a nerve there. The vein in his forehead popped out and his nostrils flared. “Yes, Carly. I have every intention of fucking you until you’re walking funny. But you know what? When that’s done, I intend on getting up and making you breakfast. This thing, whatever the fuck it is between us, it’s not just sex. Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely going to involve that, ’cause you’re hot as hell and I’m dying to get a taste, but it’s more. So much more. And if you don’t know that, if you doubt that, then we’ve got a problem. A fucking big one.”
He was panting from his tirade. I should have been pissed at the way he spoke to me. I should have been feeling guilty for assuming it was one night. I knew him better than that. It was me I didn’t trust. Right now, I didn’t trust myself to use the right words to make him understand. So I did the only thing I could think of.
I unclipped my seatbelt, the silence in the car made it echo like a gunshot. Gage’s eyes were firmly fixed on mine. After sliding my seat back as far as it could go, I hitched up the bottom of my dress, not even bothering to care how much was on display. Leaning over his lap, I felt Gage’s gasp as he sucked in a breath while I found the key and killed the ignition. Then, with all the courage I possessed and some I didn’t know I had, I lifted myself up and slipped onto his lap, straddling him.
“I know,” I whispered before I crushed my lips to his. For a brief second I thought I’d read him wrong. I don’t know how I could have after his very forceful and determined declaration, but he didn’t move. Running my tongue along the seam of his lips, when he moaned and let me in, all bets were off.
We were together. Now, and for as long as he’d have me.
My brothers were idiots. Were they really that dumb that they didn’t think I couldn’t hear them talking about me like I wasn’t lying in front of them?
I couldn’t open my eyes.
I could, but I didn’t want to.
I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment covering their faces.
It was bad enough hearing it in every word they said. Seeing it would be a whole other level of pain.
They were all here. Beau and his wife Payton. Connor. Gage and his partner Carly. And Ryan. I was so glad Ryan was here. If anyone was going to understand, if anyone was going to listen to me instead of flying off the handle demanding scalps, it was Ryan. He’d listen. He wouldn’t judge.
“What the fuck was she thinking?” That was Gage. Always the first to pipe up with some dumb ass question. What was she thinking? She was thinking she’d had enough. She was thinking that this would be easier on everyone. She was thinking that this would make everything hurt less.
“Why would she do it?” Connor.
But not to be outdone on the stupidity scale, Beau had to put his two cents in. “Why didn’t she talk to us?”
How could I talk to them? How could I possibly make them understand the hell I was living? They’d moved mountains to keep me in this school. Fuck, Connor had taken a second job as a stripper just to pay for books to keep me in this damn school. How could I go to them and tell them I hated it? That the people here hated me? That I didn’t belong? That I wanted to come home? I couldn’t. So I didn’t. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and endured it as long as possible.
“Why don’t we go find some coffee and take a break? The doctors said she would be out of it for a couple of hours yet. She’s safe here.” Ah, Payton. The voice of reason, and right now my guardian angel. While I might not be completely out of it right now, I could use a minute or two to myself.
“I’m not leaving her on her own.” Beau was as stubborn and predictable as ever. Squeezing my eyes shut, I didn’t need to see him to know he’d be standing there in his jeans and boots, arms folded over his puffed-out chest, refusing to move.
“I’ll stay,” Ryan offered weakly. He was so different from the others. He and I had often spent hours debating if he even was truly a McIntyre. Where the others were built and stubborn and manly, Ryan was much more shy and reserved. He often thought before he spoke, something very rare in our family.
“Okay then.”
I heard shuffling and whispered conversations, then nothing. Until the bed beside my right hand dipped.
“You can open your eyes now Holly. It’s just me.”
Taking a long, deep breath, I cracked my eyes open and scoured the room. Ryan hadn’t lied to me. He never would. I was lying in a hospital bed, a needle in my hand, machines beeping above my head while a bag of fluid dangled on the pole beside me. I was wearing a thin white gown with a light white cotton blanket tucked up under my arms. The bright lights hurt my eyes, and I blinked, willing them to adjust.
What was it about hospitals? Were they designed to be this depressing? All white and sterile and cold. I didn’t want to be in here. I knew why I was, it still didn’t make me want to be though.
“You okay?” Ryan’s voice pulled me from my haze.
“Ryan.” My voice croaked. My thro
at was dry and my lips cracked. He grabbed the plastic jug from the tray over my feet and filled a cup before handing it to me. After a few small sips, I felt slightly better. Better than I deserved.
“I love you, Holly. You need to hear that and you need to believe it.” My eyes filled with tears at his words. Ryan was pale. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. While my eyes filled with tears, his were wide and full of fear.
“O-okay.”
“I love you and I always will. But if you ever pull that shit again, I’ll throttle you.”
That did it. The dam broke and the tears started cascading down my cheeks. Once I started I was unable to stop. This was exactly what I didn’t want. This was the reason I’d swallowed the handful of pills and washed them down with a bottle of scotch I’d swiped from Dad’s last month. I didn’t want anyone else to hurt because of me.
It pissed me off that I’d fucked up yet again. Now they’d try and wrap me in cotton wool and ‘fix’ me. But I was too broken to fix. And I wasn’t worth the effort. Somehow, I’d just have to convince them of that.
Want more McIntyres? Read Fighting Back (Meet the McIntyres #3) Now
ALSO BY REBECCA
Swimming Upstream Series
Perfection is just an Illusion
Nobody’s Obligation
On Dry Land
Finding Your Place Series
Coming Home
Running Away
Believing Again
Meet the McIntyres Series
Taking Charge
Picturing Perfect
Fighting Back
Breaking Free
Finding Forever
Standalones
Nobody Knows
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Carly was a lot of fun to write! She’s everything I wish I was. Ballsy. Tough. Speaks her mind. And when her heart gets broken, she gets on with it.
Picturing Perfect (Meet the McIntyres Book 2) Page 24
