by Lisa Plumley
Stung, Karina looked away. As though punctuating Eric’s statement, Chelsea bopped into the room, all brightness and lightness and bikini-clad boobs. Next to her, Karina felt like a teenage boy. A gangly, out-of-touch, awkward teenage boy.
A teenage boy who was a big fan of the Marsden Fighting Badgers, obviously, but a teenage boy nonetheless.
Maybe that was why she kept right on talking. Unwisely.
“Well, be sure to pack your Viagra,” she said cheerfully, pretending she hadn’t noticed Chelsea entering. “You wouldn’t want to be caught unprepared”—in a beautiful tropical paradise—“miles away from a pharmacy.” When you want to get busy with your stupidly limber, sexy girlfriend. “That would be a real mood killer, wouldn’t it?” When you’re in the Bahamas. Argh!
“Oh, Eric doesn’t need Viagra anymore!” Chelsea hugged his elbow to her ample bosom. “I guess he’s cured!” She giggled. “Or maybe it’s because I got him that special O-ring for his—”
Karina held up both hands. “Stop right there. Please.”
“But you should be so proud of him!” Chelsea cast a spellbound look at Eric. “Now he can go all night. Just as long as I put on his special O-ring first, of course. But that’s kind of fun all by itself, since it means grabbing hold of his—”
“Seriously. I’m familiar with all the landmarks.” Haunted by an image of her ex-husband’s familiar…geography…adorned with anything that Chelsea found “special,” Karina suppressed a shudder. “You don’t have to explain. I get it, believe me.”
“Are you sure?” Chelsea wrinkled her brows with evident care and concern. “Because your, um, generation can be sort of repressed. And from everything that Eric’s said, it sounds as though you’re pretty naïve in the sex department, K. I could—”
“Please don’t call me that.” A nickname like “K” made them sound like friends. Which they weren’t.
“—help out with some advice. After all, you’re a swinging single now!” Chelsea enthused. “You should be getting your groove on regularly. You’re in your sexual prime, you know.”
“Really? Did they teach you that in veterinary school?”
Chelsea appeared wounded. “Um, no? Not yet.” She cast a confused glance at Eric. “But maybe next semester, I guess? Mostly we’re studying feline distemper right now, but…” She trailed off. “There’s always hope I’ll get there! I like cats!”
Karina felt awful. Sure, Chelsea had made her sound like a wizened old crone (thirty-six wasn’t that old!), but that didn’t mean Karina had to resort to snarkiness. Making fun of Chelsea was like kicking a puppy. A bodacious, dim-witted puppy. The poor girl just didn’t have the wherewithal to defend herself—or even (obviously) to recognize when she was being ridiculed.
Karina would probably go straight to hell for this.
Grudgingly, she patted Chelsea’s arm. “I’m sorry, Chelsea.”
“Oh, come on! Call me ‘C’! Like on Gossip Girl! Please?” Chelsea begged. “Then I’ll know for sure that we’re friends!”
Karina inhaled. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…, C.”
Was there a twelve-step program for chronic people pleasers? If so, Karina definitely needed to enroll. Yesterday.
Giddily, Chelsea clapped her hands. “Yay! I’m C! You’re K!”
Helplessly smiling now too, Karina glanced at Eric. She expected her ex-husband to be enraptured by his girlfriend’s bouncing breasts—or maybe to be clapping his hands in outright approval of them. Instead, he stood gazing pensively at Karina.
For an instant, they connected, just the way they had when they’d been married. Karina would have sworn she saw sad comprehension in his eyes—probably the full knowledge of how idiotically he was behaving by abandoning his family and shacking up with someone who said “Yay!” without any perceptible irony. But then Eric shrugged and grinned as if to say, “Hey, she came toting a cock ring, K!” and all bets were off.
“So anyway, back to our holiday plans—mine and the kids’,” Karina was careful to specify. “We should talk about when and where to meet up after Christmas, so we can set up a switcheroo.” She smiled at her own use of the term they’d adopted to describe their parental visitation drop-off routine with Josh, Michael, and Olivia. She was being so adult about this. So calm! Kudos to her. Seriously. “The kids and I are going to be gone to Kismet for a couple of weeks, so we might have to adjust your next visit with them just a tiny bit. Depending on what time your flight comes in from—”
“Wait.” Eric held up his nontattooed arm, flashing her his studded leather wristband again. He frowned. “Let me get this straight. You’re taking my kids away from me? On Christmas?”
“Well…yes. I guess so. Technically,” Karina told him. “You won’t be seeing them on Christmas day. But I’ll make sure to call at least once a day, and Olivia can text you, too, so—”
“So those are your so-called Christmas plans?”
She wished he’d let her finish a sentence for once.
“That’s what I came over here to talk about, yes.” Karina nodded. Maybe the pensive look he’d given her a second ago hadn’t been about regret, she realized belatedly. Maybe it had been about pure, no-holds-barred contrariness. Maybe her earlier statement about her altered holiday plans had finally penetrated Eric’s thick skull, and he was genuinely upset about the change. It was hard to say. This was the “new” Eric, after all. The Eric who listened to hip-hop, drank hemp milk, and wore penis ornaments. Puzzled by his sudden vehemence, Karina chose her next words carefully. “But you know as well as I do that the kids are supposed to be with me during the holidays anyway. And you and Chelsea are going to be out of the country with her parents, remember? So it’s not as though you—”
“As though I have any choice in the matter?” Eric interrupted. “That’s right. I don’t.” His frown deepened. “The fact is, you’re depriving me of my right to see my children.”
Since when was he so pedantic about his visitation rights? He certainly hadn’t been this nitpicky last month when he’d asked to skip a weekend visit. And that time his only excuse had been that he’d wanted to “catch some tasty waves” with Chelsea.
Caught beneath her ex-husband’s baleful glare, Karina stiffened her spine. There was no way she was backing down on this. No. Way. This was her chance to give the kids the Christmas they’d always dreamed of—the Christmas they deserved.
Nobody—not even Eric—was getting in the way of that.
“Eric, be reasonable.” Even as the words left her mouth, Karina thought better of them. Eric plus reasonable did not compute. “Or at least listen: There’s a good reason for all this.” Aside from your children’s need for a happy Christmas this year. “The B&B we’re going to is an all-inclusive vacation spot specializing in Christmas getaways.” Is that the ultimate, or what? “Stephanie was supposed to evaluate the place as her next assignment for Edgware. But Blake is really, really sick right now.” My poor little nephew. “He has a flu bug or food poisoning or something. So Stephanie can’t do the evaluation, and it’s too late to line up someone else from Edgware at the last minute. Most of the other consultants are on personal leave for the holidays. Cancelling is out of the question, so Steph asked me to fill in. In secret. All I have to do is upload the evaluation forms every day—and not alert any of the other guests or the management to my real purpose at the B&B, of course.”
“Ooh! Like a spy!” Chelsea cooed. “Or one of those secret shoppers! Except for a B&B, I mean. That’s so cool, K!”
“Thanks, C.” Ugh. She hated herself for going along with that silly nickname stuff. But it just slipped out. And at least someone was happy for her, Karina thought rebelliously. “The bonus is, the kids and I get a free vacation out of the deal.”
“Merry Christmas to you!” Chelsea chirped.
“I know. It’s sort of perfect.” Since I could never afford it otherwise. Thanks a lot, divorce. “The kids were superexcited when I told them about it. It�
�ll be their first time on an airplane. Their first time traveling to another state.”
“Their first time abandoning their dad on Christmas.”
“Their first time seeing snow! And icicles!” Chelsea shot Eric a quelling look. “I’m so happy for you guys, K.”
“That’s really nice of you, C.”
Eric rolled his eyes. Karina ignored him. It was too bad if her ex couldn’t handle her and Chelsea getting along. And while she was genuinely concerned about her little sick nephew, she was also determined to help out her sister. If by doing so she could give Olivia, Michael, and Josh a picture-perfect holiday—the kind of holiday she could never pull off on her own—well, that was a slam dunk. Eric ought to be able to understand that.
“Justin is already in Hong Kong on business,” Karina explained further, “so he can’t stay with Blake himself. And the job is supposed to start tomorrow, so Stephanie really needs my help. She’s totally at her wit’s end—”
“She must be if she’s trusting you to handle things,” Eric said snidely. “Everyone knows you’re a soft touch when someone needs a favor, but you’re not exactly competent, K.”
Shocked by Eric’s bluntness, Karina gaped at him. Since their split, he’d been distant, dismissive, and occasionally delusional. But he’d never been mean. Not like this. Somehow, his derision now hurt her more than everything else.
“Yes, I am. I’m competent.” Sometimes she procrastinated a bit. But everyone did that. “What are you talking about?”
“Yeah!” Chelsea elbowed Eric. “That’s not nice!”
“I’m talking about your tendency to take on too much.” Eric stretched out the word talking, making it sound especially obnoxious. “I’m talking about the way you can never say no to anyone. I’m talking about the fact that no matter how bad you might feel about having failed with our marriage—”
“I failed?” Incensed, Karina stepped up. “I didn’t fail!”
“—you can’t make up for your shortcomings by bribing the kids this way.” Eric crossed his arms. “Taking a fancy Christmas vacation? Using your sister’s job as an excuse? It’s pathetic.”
Dumbfounded, Karina stared at him. She couldn’t speak. But she also couldn’t help wondering…was Eric a tiny bit right?
Lately, she had been feeling as though she were letting down Michael, Josh, and Olivia. It wasn’t easy being the one who said no to requests for new sneakers and expensive video games. She simply couldn’t afford everything they wanted. But that didn’t make seeing their disappointed faces any easier to bear.
“Stephanie never liked me, and you know it,” Eric said. “The two of you probably cooked up this whole scheme together just to make me look bad. I’ll bet there isn’t any Edgware evaluation happening at all.”
“Of course there is.” Karina couldn’t believe he was being so churlish. “It’s worth a lot of money to everyone involved too! Edgware is the biggest hospitality company in the world. They run thousands of hotels and resort properties in multiple international networks. If they decide The Christmas House concept is worth franchising, it’s going to mean—”
“Oh, spare me,” her ex interrupted. For the billionth time. “I don’t need to hear the hard sell—the fake hard sell. What I don’t get is how you expect anyone to believe you’re capable of evaluating a property anyway. That really takes the cake.”
Ouch. That hurt. Wounded, Karina glanced away.
Then she regrouped. Damn it, Eric wasn’t going to stop her.
“I’ve been listening to Stephanie talk about her job for all these years. That’s got to count for something, right?” She raised her head, fired up with a newfound urge to totally nail the B&B evaluation—and maybe prove Eric wrong about her in the process. “And I’ve already got Stephanie’s preevaluation research and her notes, so that will help too. Once I’m equipped with the official evaluation guidelines, it’ll be a simple matter of ticking off items on a checklist. I’m sure I’ll—”
“You’ll crash and burn. If this thing is really real. Which I doubt. Admit it—you want to show me up at Christmastime. That’s what this is all about—your insecurities.”
Wow. This felt unnervingly like being married to him.
Why, exactly, had she missed any of this?
In that moment, as far as Karina was concerned, all men everywhere could just leave her alone. For good. There was no reason she couldn’t handle everything on her own…with no heartache, dirty tighty-whities, or “collectible” NBA basketball jerseys to clutter up her life. And no regrets, either.
No regrets. Now there was a motto she could get behind.
Chelsea shook her head. “Oh, cut it out, Eric. You’re going too far, even for you.” She offered Karina an apologetic look. “You know Karina loves the kids too much to bribe them! And you can’t blame her for helping out her sister! She’s a giving person! What difference does it make if Karina and the kids are going away for the holidays? We won’t even be here.”
“The details don’t matter,” Eric argued. Petulantly. Possibly with a special O-ring adorning his—“The point is—”
“The point is,” Chelsea persisted, “that your ex-wife is getting on with her life, and you’re not handling it very well. You ought to be more grown up about all this.”
Silence fell. This time, it was Eric’s turn to gawk.
To be fair, Karina did too. That was really…insightful.
Also, she liked the idea of herself getting on with her life. It was past time she did that. Way past time.
“You’ve got to remember, babe,” Chelsea continued serenely, “that a truly strong man allows others’ strength to shine.”
Huh? Karina blinked. Eric wrinkled his forehead.
“I read that on my Gingerbread Latte cup at Starbucks yesterday. I thought it fit.” Chelsea beamed. Offhandedly, she examined her bikini top, then adjusted its triangle cups as sultrily as one of the Pussycat Dolls might have done. “So. Are we all good? Eric, are you going to be nicer to Karina?”
Contritely, he nodded. “Yes, Chelsea. I am.”
Wow. Whatever mojo Chelsea had, Karina needed some. Eric had never been this compliant when he’d been married to her.
“And Karina, are you going to have a fun vacation?”
A fun vacation? Karina hesitated. She hadn’t quite thought of the upcoming trip in that way. She’d been busy checking flights online, making whirlwind packing lists, and conferring with Stephanie about the Edgware evaluation details.
But the truth was, this opportunity was heaven sent.
The B&B in Kismet had genuine snowdrifts. Actual Christmassy ambiance. Pine trees galore. And the B&B owners specialized in making their guests’ holiday dreams come true—it said so right on their brochures and Web site. Visiting The Christmas House would be like stepping into one of those feel-good holiday TV movies. It didn’t get much more fun than that.
She nodded. “I think the kids are going to love it.”
“But what about you, K? You have to think about yourself too,” Chelsea insisted. “It’s like my mom always said—”
“Take off that miniskirt and those hooker heels?”
This, from Eric. Chelsea and Karina both glared at him.
He gave an awkward chuckle. “I guess my image of your teenage years is inaccurate?”
“You’re about a million times too sleazy, I’m sure,” Karina said. Although, privately, she agreed about the miniskirt.
“—she always said,” Chelsea went on with good-natured doggedness, “that a vacation is when a family goes away for a good time, and their mother makes sure everyone gets it. My mom used to start every vacation exhausted from planning and come home afterward to a mountain of laundry. Don’t let that happen to you, Karina. Make sure you have a good time too.”
“She wouldn’t know how.” Eric fiddled with his wristband. “Karina is about as much fun as a bucket of to-do lists.”
“Maybe with you she was,” Chelsea said. “But the two o
f you obviously weren’t a good fit. With another guy…who knows? Maybe Karina will have herself a wild and crazy holiday affair.”
Yeah. Who knew? Maybe she would, Karina thought defiantly.
It was weird to feel so encouraged by “the other woman” in her ex-husband’s life. But all of a sudden, she actually felt tempted to cut loose. To live a little. To get on with her life in a big way.
Eric had been right about one thing, she decided ruefully. Being around Chelsea really was liberating.
“Yeah!” she said, stifling a fist pump. “Who knows?”
Eric’s scowl deepened—satisfyingly so. It was about time he was the one who’d been caught off guard. Especially by her.
He’d be caught off guard most of all, Karina promised herself, when she aced that very real Edgware evaluation. Eric could hardly argue that she’d made up the whole thing if Edgware officially announced they were franchising the B&B’s concept and taking its worry-free Christmas-vacation idea nationwide.
“I say go for it!” Chelsea urged. “And keep me posted too.” She gave Karina a girl-to-girl wink, grinning like a true confidante. “I want all the dirty details, K. You be sure to call me the instant something happens, okay?”
“If there’s anything racy to report, you’ll be the first to know,” Karina told her. “I swear on my Badgers T-shirt.”
She held up two fingers, Boy Scout style, but the truth was, it was an easy promise to make. There was no way in the world official good girl and devoted mother Karina Barrett was about to indulge in a supersteamy holiday fling. For one thing, she’d be working. She owed Stephanie her very best efforts.
Besides, there wasn’t enough spiked eggnog in the world to loosen up Karina that much. While a short-term Christmas romance might be…invigorating, she could definitely do without the aftereffects of starting up a new relationship. Even if it would be, by necessity, limited to the holidays. Possibly with a hunky, hayseed-chewing Midwesterner…who liked honey.
