by Cindi Madsen
“That’s not true.”
“It is! But it’s okay. As you can clearly see, I’m super cool, and it’s really too bad for you that you didn’t realize it until now.” She quirked her eyebrow, a haughty look on her face, though there was teasing in her expression, too. “You do realize it, right?”
He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he found himself lowering his head toward hers. “I always thought you were cool. I…” His thoughts spun and he clamped his lips closed, not trusting himself to say anything more.
But then she leaned closer and he caught the sweet scent of her mixed with a tinge of alcohol. “Then why’d you never talk to me? Why did you leave a room whenever I entered it?”
His pulse thumped in his ears. She was so close he could see how her eyes went from dark brown in the middle to an amber color. Close enough to study her full lips, covered in some kind of glittery lip gloss. “Because you were the prettiest thing I’d ever laid eyes on, and I was afraid everyone would notice I was staring.”
…
Kelsey tried to swallow, but she wasn’t sure her throat was working anymore. She blinked at Nate, sure she’d imagined the words that’d come out of his mouth. Sincerity filled his eyes, though, and then there was the way he was looking at her.
Her heart picked up speed, beating faster and faster. Her eyes locked onto his lips and energy crackled through the air between them.
He suddenly straightened and cleared his throat. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m a little drunk.”
She wasn’t sure why it felt like she’d just lost something, but a twinge pinched her chest. “So it wasn’t true?”
He ran a hand over his close-cropped hair. “It’s true. But I shouldn’t have said it, and I’m sorry. I think we better call it a night.” He got off the couch. “We’ll see how the snow is in the morning. And, um, if you need anything, I’ll be in my room.” His face colored, and a flash of desire mixed into the odd combination of emotions swirling through her. “Like blankets.”
Not sex? She wanted to tease, but she didn’t want to ruin the nice evening they’d had by making him more uncomfortable. He’d saved her from a crappy night traipsing through snow to a hotel full of strangers. Might as well end on a good note.
Not that the other option wouldn’t be good, but…well, he was Derek’s brother and that did make it a little weird. Plus, he was Nate Walsh. All-around good guy, upstanding, law-enforcing citizen, and probably not the one-night-stand type. She wasn’t either—not anymore. But if she could make total jerks whine about her hurting their feelings, she didn’t want to know what she could do to a nice guy like Nate. And she was far from looking for anything steady, so she wasn’t even sure why all these thoughts were popping into her head.
“Night, Nate. Thanks for everything.”
He nodded and started toward his room.
But when he reached the hallway he glanced back, and her heart started beating too fast all over again.
Chapter Three
Kelsey snaked her arm out of the warm covers, felt around for her cell phone, and pulled it in front of her face. It was already ten, and Mom had sent several texts.
So…?
It looks like they’re still predicting snow there :(
I’m getting ready to make Christmas cookies, but it seems sad without you.
In case you didn’t get it from my first “So…?” I was wondering how things are with Nate???
Are you still sleeping? WAKE UP ALREADY!!! :P
Kelsey groaned. Her mouth felt like it’d been stuffed with cotton and someone was definitely playing drums on her head. Note to self: massive amounts of caffeine plus alcohol, not a good combo.
While Nate had gone to bed, she’d paced around his place. About one hundred laps. She’d finally forced herself to go to the bedroom, but it was so cold she’d huddled under the blankets, her mind sloggy yet unable to shut off. The image of Nate’s face so close to hers kept popping up. It was a good thing he’d pulled back, because she would’ve just gone for it, and she had a goal to not regret kissing guys anymore.
Only I’m not sure I would’ve regretted it.
She padded across the icy room to the window and pulled the blinds open. “Ugh, still snowing.” Like it meant to cover the world in white and wouldn’t stop until it’d gotten every inch. Her car was probably now covered in a couple feet of snow, all that icy liquid seeping into the cracked open hood. If it ever started again it’d be a Christmas miracle.
She texted Mom, telling her the weather was still crap, that she was sad about the cookies, too, and that she and Nate had just talked, but it was nice.
Mom immediately texted back.
How nice?
Kelsey typed,
More fun than I expected, but talking was all that happened.
She wondered about confessing to Mom the spark she’d felt with Nate, and what he’d said about why he’d avoided her in high school.
She heard his voice in her head: Because you were the prettiest thing I’d ever laid eyes on, and I was afraid everyone would notice I was staring.
Residual butterflies fluttered through her stomach, telling her it was more than the vodka that’d given her that swirly sensation. It was possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. But there was still the fact that she used to go out with his brother, and that made things weird. Although she honestly hadn’t thought about Derek in years. He’d been a fun boyfriend, always up for an adventure. After high school he’d said he didn’t want to do the long-distance relationship, she’d agreed, and anything more than friendly feelings for him had died a long time ago.
So she shouldn’t feel guilty for lusting after his brother, right? Especially since nothing happened. Just a nice night by the fire and Nate’s confession, which made him leave two seconds after he’d said it.
Oh no, what if things are super awkward now?
Before she figured out what exactly to say to Mom, she needed to find out where she and Nate stood, so she sent the message, ending with TTYL, and eyed the door.
I’ll just go out and act totally normal. We’ll talk game plan, and I’ll figure out how I can get to Kentucky.
Suddenly going out there, though, where she didn’t know which Nate she’d be faced with, seemed too intimidating. Would he be super serious today? Would he still joke with her? She hated the thought of going back to strained interactions, so she stalled, hitting the shower first.
By the time she headed into the living room, her head was at least clear. But so was the house.
Kelsey followed the scent of coffee and poured herself a mug. The door opened a moment later, sending an icy gust over her, and Nate walked in, covered in snow. His cheeks and nose were red and a black beanie covered his head—it drew her focus to his bright hazel eyes and his strong jaw. Then she was noticing how he took up the doorway with his height and broad shoulders, a body built from long hours of manual labor. Coffee dripped from the mug she’d forgotten she was holding and she quickly righted it.
“Morning,” he said as he shook out of his coat.
“Morning.” She wanted to add something else, but asking if it was cold outside was all that came to mind, and it was pretty obvious it was.
“So…” He glanced over his shoulder at the window on the door and, from the set of his chin, she felt as though she should brace herself for bad news. “The roads are still closed. They sent up plows, but the wind is blowing like mad, creating total whiteout conditions and pushing the snow right back onto the road. Town’s all closed up, too, and everyone’s been advised to stay indoors.”
“So the first thing you did was go outside? I thought you were a rule follower?”
He cracked a smile, and it brought out the indentations in his cheeks and the adorable crinkles around his eyes. “Had to make sure the cows were okay.” His smile faded and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m afraid you’re stuck here. At least one more day from the looks of it.”
&
nbsp; Though she’d suspected as much when she’d seen the blanket of snow out her window, the news still made her stomach drop. She’d envisioned a holiday of baking with Mom, catching up on all the time they’d missed. With their hectic schedules and the states between them, it’d been six months since they’d seen each other, and it felt like they were very, very far away.
“Sorry,” Nate said. “I can tell you’re disappointed.”
“No,” she said, and he cocked an eyebrow. “Okay, I am a little disappointed. It’s not because I have to be here with you” —there was a weird beat as she met his eyes— “I just envisioned my Christmas vacation going differently. But I’m glad I’m not stuck in a hotel somewhere, with no one to talk to. That’d be really lonely and totally sad.”
She thought of his lack of Christmas tree, of how silent the house was this morning. She wondered if Nate ever got lonely, or if he preferred the quiet.
“Well, I did pick you up something when I was over at my parents’ place. You don’t have to use them, but if you want…” Nate dug into his coat pocket, pulled out a yellow bag, and stuck it in front of her on the counter.
Chocolate chips. A tight band formed around her chest. She’d rambled on and on about making cookies last night, and this morning she’d gotten that text from Mom reminding her of what she was missing. That bag was so much more than delicious little pieces of chocolate. It was part of her holiday traditions, and she couldn’t believe he’d thought of bringing them for her.
Nate scuffed the floor with his shoe, his eyes focused on the motion. “I should have everything else you need. But like I said, only if you want. I’m not asking you to bake for me or anything.”
Kelsey stepped forward and hugged him. He smelled like the outdoors and his clothes still held some of the chill. It took him a moment to reciprocate, but then he placed his hand on her back and she couldn’t help notice the way all her blood rushed to that spot.
“Thank you so much.”
He simply nodded. Then he headed into the other room, and she figured she’d just have to explore to find everything she needed. Baking seemed like the perfect way to kill some time, though, and bonus, there’d be cookies afterward.
She cleaned off her hands, found a bowl, flour, and sugar.
Nate came back into the kitchen, his hair slightly messy from having had the beanie on. The gray thermal Henley he wore gave him a rugged, all-man look that made her heart skip a couple beats. For someone who was the opposite of her type, he sure was hard not to look at. Add the quiet sense of humor she’d seen last night and delivering chocolate chips, and he’d tiptoed into perfect territory.
One corner of Nate’s mouth twisted up and she realized she was staring. And that he’d noticed. She turned away, heat crawling up her neck. “Where are your measuring cups?”
“Uh…” Nate opened a few cupboards and then brought out a set that looked like it’d never been used. He went to hand them to her as she reached for them and their hands slammed together, causing the cups to drop to the counter.
To keep their fumble from growing to awkwardness, she gave him directions, having him measure out the sugar while she scooped out the flour. Within a few minutes, they both had a thin layer of flour on their clothes, but they also had cookie dough. She poured in the chocolate chips and then pinched off a chunk and tossed it in her mouth.
“Mmm. You have to try this. It turned out great.”
“Well if I have to…” Nate leaned over her to grab a bite of dough. While he’d been cool from being outside earlier, he was warm now, his body firm against hers. She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t stop thinking these kinds of thoughts about Nate. She glanced over her shoulder and found her lips mere inches from his jaw. Whiskers dotted his chin, the dark hair complementing his strong features.
He glanced down at her and her stomach climbed into her throat. She was thinking of last night again, what he’d said. She could tell he’d immediately regretted admitting she was pretty, but what did it matter anymore? Her relationship with Derek was forever ago. They were all different people now. Of course, Nate had life all figured out and she was still working on getting hers on the right track. Which meant, even though she was attracted to him and he was currently pressed against her, making her thoughts a bit hazy, she shouldn’t act upon her urge to kiss him.
Right?
Nate swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with the motion.
Kelsey turned back to the bowl in front of her. “Usually I’d go for Christmas tree shapes and such, but I’m guessing you don’t have a bunch of cookie cutters lying around.”
“That’d be a negative,” he said, and his breath stirred her hair. He wasn’t moving away, his body still so close to hers she was having trouble concentrating or forming sentences.
“We’ll, uh, just call them all ornaments, then.” Kelsey scooped dough onto the cookie sheet she’d gotten out. When she turned around with the pan in her hands, Nate took it from her and put it into the oven.
She set the timer and then quiet fell between them. Ten minutes. Since he wasn’t much of a talker, she figured it was up to her to provide the conversation. She was working out what to say when he took a step toward her.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck here, but it is nice having you around. It’s always so quiet in the house. And I don’t think it’s ever smelled like cookies before.”
“Don’t you dare tell anyone else in town about this,” she joked. “I want them to all think I’m still the girl who will drag their children down in sin.”
Nate grinned. “I don’t think anyone knew quite what to make of you and your mom when the pair of you moved in.”
“When I got here, I seriously thought Mom had moved us to the boonies. But there’s something charming about this little town. I guess I didn’t really appreciate it until I went to college. I’d looked forward to going back to a city for so long, then I found I missed familiar faces and little shops you can’t find anywhere else. Of course now that I’ve remembered it can dump a crap-ton of snow, I’m second guessing my warm fuzzy feelings.”
“It’s not so bad. Even the snow has its benefits.” His eyes locked onto hers and suddenly she had warm fuzzy feelings again, but not for the town.
Trying to hold onto her focus, she bit her lip. “I thought you left town, too. What? Just couldn’t stay away?”
He pressed his mouth into a tight line, and she thought she might’ve hit a sensitive subject. “I liked Charlotte quite a bit, actually. Went through the academy there, hung out with my cousin, Wes, made some other friends…I might’ve stayed there, but then my dad needed surgery. I came back to help out. Then a cop position opened up and it was clear my dad wasn’t going to simply bounce back…so I stayed.”
Kelsey turned on the oven light and peeked in on the cookies—not quite done. She leaned against the counter, next to Nate. “You ever think about leaving again?”
He shook his head. “Not anymore. Not seriously, anyway.”
For years she’d thought of him as rigid, and honestly, grouchy. But now she saw how much he took on himself. Obviously he felt responsible for his family, and she could tell he’d do anything for them. He held a lot in, too, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have feelings. She wondered if anyone ever cared about them, and the thought they might not see him for who he was bothered her.
She reached out and took his hand. She wasn’t sure why she did it, just that she wanted him to know that maybe she didn’t see him for who he was all those years ago, but she saw him now.
His fingers curled around hers. His eyes stayed forward, glued to the bare white wall opposite them. “You know, I thought about looking you up when I was in Charlotte.”
“You should’ve.”
He sighed. “It would’ve been weird. And deep down I knew I shouldn’t, kind of like I know I shouldn’t kiss you right now.”
Kelsey’s breath lodged in her throat. She felt every inch between them, every place their s
kin was touching and wasn’t. He glanced down at her, his gaze burning in the most delicious way. She’d never given much of a damn about rules, and she definitely didn’t give one now. Act now, deal later.
Nate swept her hair aside, curled his hand behind her neck, and lowered his mouth to hers. He started slow and steady, much the way she expected him to. But then his hands gripped her hips and the next thing she knew she was seated on the counter. He stroked her tongue with his and heat licked at her core. Kelsey wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling their bodies closer.
He groaned into her mouth and his fingers slid under her shirt and dug into her skin.
Then the beep of the timer rang out, so loud it made her jump.
It was all it took to break the spell. He was pulling back, she was cursing under her breath, and the buzzer kept on going. She never thought she’d be so angry that cookies were done.
“I gotta go check on something,” Nate said, his face turned away from hers. Then he stepped outside, no coat, no beanie. Well, she’d definitely been wrong about kissing him being awkward. She’d never been kissed like that in her life, never experienced such an intense burn so quickly. Her breaths were still coming faster than normal, her lips tingled, and there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to kiss Nate Walsh again.
And again.
…
What the hell are you doing, Walsh?
Nate strode down the sidewalk he’d shoveled that morning but already had a new layer of snow. For a long time he was the guy who’d sat back and watched his brother be with the girl he wanted. Apparently all those years of holding back were bursting out of him now that he was under the same roof as Kelsey. Part of him—a big huge part of him—wanted to say that Derek had had several girlfriends since Kelsey. He didn’t need to hold back because his brother never realized what he had, even when he had her.
If it hadn’t been for that stupid conversation over Thanksgiving, he wouldn’t think twice. But it’d happened. In fact, he could hear Derek’s words about Kelsey echoing in his head now, every one taking a bite out of his gut. Dude, I think she might’ve been the love of my life. I think I’m going to look her up. See if we can get back what we used to have.
