by Cindi Madsen
For now.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Yellowstone,” he said. “See all the wildlife. Maybe go fishing.”
“You live right next to the mountains.”
“But those are different mountains.” He bumped his shoulder against hers. “So where’d you wanna go, Judgy McJudgerson?”
Kelsey laughed, the way she’d been doing all day. She loved Nate’s humor, and how he pulled it out when she least expected it. She’d been with a lot of guys who were showy, demanding everyone look at them for their comments or songs or jokes. Finding out Nate was funny felt like a secret discovery she had all to herself. “I’d pick beach. Florida or California. Where I could be in my bikini more than not, rarely wear shoes, and wake up to the sound of the ocean.”
“Well, if you’re gonna be wearing a bikini, I’m switching to beach vacation with you.” Nate let go of her hand, and just when she was about to pout over it, he wrapped his arm around her waist, curling her into him.
“Okay, so foreign vacation,” she said, snuggling against him. “Then where would you go?”
He repeated the scrunched eyebrows, rubbing his jaw gesture. She took a mental picture, wanting to remember him like that later. He glanced down at her and one of his eyebrows quirked higher. “Let’s just cut to the chase and say wherever you’d go.”
“I like that answer.” She couldn’t take it anymore, so she reached up her fingers and trailed them across his jaw. “I’m thinking Paris. But would you be bored going to all the art places with me?”
“If I were with you, I wouldn’t be bored.”
The air thickened between them, every breath holding so much weight. He glanced away and disappointment flooded her chest. “I couldn’t leave here, though,” he said. “Not for that long.”
At first she thought he was pulling away, but there was something else in his tone. As if even thinking of imaginary vacations stressed him out. “What are you talking about?”
“The farm. My parents. They need me here. Maybe a weekend or something, but…I mean, I know we’re only talking, but those kinds of vacations just aren’t in the plans for me ”
Kelsey pushed up onto her knees. “You put too much pressure on yourself. Why are you responsible for everyone?”
His eyes remained glued to the fire. “I was gone when my dad hurt himself. He needed me here, but I’d gone to Charlotte. I should’ve been here.”
Her heart caught at the guilt in his voice. “You were training for your job, no one can blame you for that. And where was Derek when this all went down?” For the most part, she tried to avoid talking about him, but she couldn’t help it.
“He never wanted the farm. I told my dad I might. And I do.” Nate finally looked at her. “It’s not that I don’t like the work—even my police job keeps me indoors too much for my taste sometimes. But I get that taking on the farm’s a big commitment, one I’ve made. And I realize it would be unfair to ask anyone else to make it.”
Kelsey couldn’t do anything but blink at him for a moment. What started out as a casual conversation suddenly felt heavy. She had no doubt he could find a girl who’d be happy to run a farm with him, be his wife, whatever he wanted. What was surprising was how much she hated the hypothetical girl.
This was the point with most guys where she would throw up a mental block to keep herself separate from them. Safe. Emotions were messy, and with this being a temporary situation, it seemed like an even worse idea to get so involved in his life.
But this was Nate, the guy who’d said he’d take care of her forever, the guy who could ignite an inferno inside her with a simple glance or light touch. Knowing that the likelihood of them actually working out as a couple was slim to none didn’t change that she wanted to be the one he confided in. Wanted him to have everything his heart desired. The guy carried too much on his shoulders, and she was desperate to lighten some of his burden. She slowly leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth. Borderline friend territory.
Oh who was she kidding, she’d never kissed a friend there.
Nate kept his eyes glued to her as she pulled back. Then he reached up and cupped her cheek. “Kelsey…”
“Nate.”
He brushed his thumb across her skin, sending tingly heat in its wake.
She closed her eyes, soaking in the feel of his hand, then opened them and stared at his perfect face as longing wrapped itself around her heart. “If this is a mistake, it’s one I’ll gladly keep making.”
“I don’t think it’s a mistake, I just want to do things the right way.”
“Not everything’s always black and white. And you don’t always have to put what you want on hold for everyone else.” She leaned forward again, kissing him squarely on the mouth.
Nate wrapped his hands around her hips and pulled her to him, so she was straddling him. His hand slid up, into her hair. He tipped her head back and kissed her neck, making her gasp. His tongue traced up to just under her ear, where he pressed another kiss, and everything inside her unraveled. She squeezed her thighs tighter around him and wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling like she’d fall apart if she didn’t hold on to him.
Then his blessed lips covered hers, soft yet insistent, sending heat flaring low in her stomach. He thrust his tongue in to meet hers and she dug her fingers into his shoulders.
He rolled her onto her back and covered her body with his, propping himself up on his elbows. He kissed her until the room spun and her lips were swollen and tingly. Just when she was ready to dispense with the clothes, he slowed the pace. He lay back on the rug in front of the fire, tucking her next to him. Usually she couldn’t keep guys from pawing at her, and the guy she wanted more than she’d ever wanted anyone kept pulling back. After the last time she’d slept with someone too fast, she’d sworn she’d stop jumping into bed with guys she’d end up regretting later. She knew Nate was different, though, a guy she’d never regret. So she supposed she could be patient, even though patience wasn’t her strong suit.
But tomorrow was Christmas, and according to this morning’s forecast the storm would be on its way out. She and Nate would have to get back to the real world. The spell would break, the distance would ruin everything, and they’d end up being an almost love that simply faded away.
…
Nate took a deep breath, inhaling Kelsey’s vanilla perfume, wanting to hold it in forever. They’d gone back to light conversation as they lay in front of the fire, talking about things like favorite colors and foods, college stories and dream vehicles. Any random thought that popped into Kelsey’s head, she said, her mind spinning from one subject to another. Then if he said something opposing to what she thought, which was most everything, she’d tell him why he should switch to her side.
Man, he loved that about her. Her opinions were declared with such passion, and damned if it didn’t make him want to switch, although he’d remain firm just to see what she’d say or do to try to convince him to see things her way.
As her eyelids started to droop, he’d kept her talking, because she sounded drunk, talking in statements that made half-sense but insisting she knew what she was saying. Yes, it was entertaining, but he also didn’t want the night to end. Every kid dreamed of Christmas morning, but he wanted to delay it as long as possible because it meant she might leave.
Finally, he let her fall asleep, her head on his chest. The snow was already letting up outside, and the electricity had come back on, the hallway and kitchen lit up, though this room was still only lit by the dying fire. Nate’s heart expanded as he took in everything about Kelsey, from her perfect little nose and full lips, to the tattoos peeking out of her shirt. He liked the stripes of purple in her hair, and how she looked with and without makeup.
Every time he thought they might actually have a real shot at this turning into something real, he reminded himself that she was a girl who had another life, one outside of Marion. He didn’t think she’d be content to be out on a farm, so far away from
the city, and while he liked the city, he didn’t belong there. He’d continue to work for the town and help out on the farm. Someday, he’d have to pick one or the other. Or maybe by the time Dad fully retired, he could go back to Charlotte, but Kelsey would’ve moved on by then.
His phone rang and he hurried to answer it before it woke her.
“Dude, sorry for calling so late, but you’ll never believe what happened,” Derek said.
“Something pretty unbelievable happened to me, too.” Nate carefully slid out from under Kelsey and moved into the kitchen. This conversation would no doubt be awkward, but he was really sick of holding back, and after he talked to Derek, he’d know if he needed to fight for her—he was at the point where he would if he had to. “I ran into Kelsey Cooper. She wrecked her car last night and has been staying here with me, waiting for the storm to blow over.”
The other end of the line went quiet and Nate gripped the phone, wanting to explain that he didn’t mean to fall for her but that he had. That it was too late to stop it.
“What are the odds?” Derek asked.
Exactly. There was no way he’d get this lucky again either. “I, uh, know you said you wished you and she had worked out.”
“Dude, I was just wasted and heartbroken and feeling sentimental. Angela had just dumped me, and I guess being in Marion made me think about Kelsey and how much fun we had. Wait—” He could practically hear Derek’s wheels turning over the phone. “Are you saying…? Did you hook up with her?”
“No,” Nate said, a little too forcefully, and he was sure his brother would hear the defensive tone in his voice.
“No? I was gonna say way to go, bro. You’ve been living like a monk for too long.”
Nate opened his mouth then just shook his head and sighed. “I was trying to be respectful of you.”
“Me? Kelsey and I have been over for a long time, man. I was just grasping at straws because I didn’t want to admit I’d lost Angela. The real love of my life.”
All this time he’d been holding back for nothing.
“Nate, I’m engaged. Angela and I got back together and I asked her to marry me—I’m not letting her go ever again. Don’t tell Mom and Dad. We’re gonna show up tomorrow and surprise them.”
Angela. The girl he’d dated all year, but had been dumped by right before Thanksgiving. And now they were engaged. Relief flooded Nate, and while he was happy for his brother, there was a lot of selfish happiness going on as well. “Congrats, man. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, tomorrow.”
Nate hung up the phone and felt a huge goofy grin lifting his lips. His head and chest were light, and hope filled him from the inside out. It was time to enjoy the time he had left with Kelsey, however long it was.
She looked so peaceful sleeping, he almost didn’t want to wake her up. But he didn’t want to waste another second. He lowered himself to the floor, leaned across her and pressed his lips to hers. Her eyelids fluttered open and she flashed him a smile that shot him right through the heart.
“My brother’s engaged,” he said.
Her brow wrinkled. “Oh…kay.”
“I thought he was still hung up on you.”
She propped herself up on her elbows. “Trust me, I’m not that memorable.”
“Trust me, you are.” He dipped his head to kiss her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he slowly lowered her back to the floor. He took his time tasting her lips, her tongue, memorizing the feel of her curves against him. He pulled back and looked into her eyes.
She gripped the front of his shirt, holding him in place. “Don’t stop.”
“No, no more stopping.” He kissed her again, getting lost in the blur of clothes being tossed off, her skin under his fingertips, and the hum of his heart as he fully let himself fall.
Chapter Six
Kelsey woke to actual sunshine streaming through the window and the sound of melting snow dripping from the roof. The logs in the fireplace had burned down to black unrecognizable lumps, and the air outside the blankets held a chill. Her body was molded to Nate’s, and she never wanted to move again, especially because his skin warmed hers in the most delicious way. He turned his head, his eyes still heavy from sleep, and gave her a drool-worthy grin.
“Merry Christmas,” he said.
She ran her hand across his toned chest. “Merry Christmas.”
His eyes traveled over her, taking her back to last night, when he’d spent so much time doing the same thing—staring at her like she was beautiful and he wanted to memorize every inch of her skin. He reached out and traced the stars, the way he’d done before and the way she craved for him to do again and again. “How do you decide what to permanently put on your body? That you won’t get sick of it later?”
“You just know. An idea, an image hits you, and you have to have it. Anyway, that’s how I choose.”
“I don’t know that I’d ever be sure enough.”
“Some guys need them to be even semi-interesting, but you’ve got that down already.” She scooted closer and kissed him, feeling as if she were living some magical dream. Things like this didn’t normally happen to her. Happiness bubbled up and spread through every inch of her. She trailed her fingers down to his firm abs. “So, now that I’m sleeping with a cop, what are the benefits? Do I get a pass on speeding tickets?”
He rolled, pinning her underneath him. “Sleeping with me isn’t benefit enough?”
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. “Yes, but I’d still like a pass on speeding tickets.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” He kissed her neck and heat started building between them again. “So, the storm’s gone. And I’m sure you’re in a hurry to leave…”
“Hurry’s the wrong word.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “I want to stay, but I know my mom will be going crazy.” The days of her Christmas vacation were ticking by too fast, not enough time to do all the things she wanted to do between staying here forever and actually spending time with Mom.
“How about if you go with me to my parents’?” Nate asked. “That’ll give more time for the sun to melt the snow, and then we can figure out what to do with your car. I’ll even let you take my truck if you need to. I just want the roads to be clear. Especially since traffic will be so light and if you get stuck or slide off the road…” He brushed back her hair. “I don’t want you driving until it’s safe.”
She’d chewed out guys for implying she needed them before, but the tenderness in his eyes made affection radiate through her chest. “Okay. I’ll give it some time to clear, then figure out what I’m gonna do.”
A triumphant grin spread across his lips. So she didn’t tell him that the thought of going to his parents’ place tied her stomach in knots. It was Christmas, after all. But she figured if she was going to get through that situation, she needed a reminder of why it’d be worth it.
So she pulled Nate closer and kissed him until he got the message that she was expecting those benefits to kick in immediately.
…
Nate pulled the truck up to his parents’ house. The sun was out, turning the roads to slush, and he was glad he’d talked Kelsey into staying until at least the afternoon. He’d thought she was gripping the door handle because she was nervous about the snow, but she kept her iron grip on it now and she was chewing on her bottom lip.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
She glanced at him, offering a smile that barely caught hold before it disappeared. “Your mom’s going to be so horrified. She barely tolerated me before. I can only imagine how freaked out she’ll be when I show up with her golden son.”
He lifted her hand and kissed it. “She liked you. Maybe thought you should drive slower and swear less, but she got used to you.”
“Well, holy shitballs, that’s a lot of pressure. I have even more tattoos now. My hair’s purple. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn these giant silver hoops. Why didn’t you tell me to take them ou
t and wear something more suitable?”
He pulled her across the cab to him and wrapped his arms around her. “She’ll like you. And my dad always liked you.”
She rubbed her forehead and pressed her neon pink fingernails to her temple. “It’s just that they’re your parents, and I like you too much, and now I’m freaking out, caring what they think, and I don’t like it.” Her voice got louder and shakier. “I don’t like it, Nate.”
He placed his hands on the sides of her face. “You look amazing. I love how you look, and my parents are gonna be happy to see you, I promise. And I know you consider us out in the sticks here, but Marion’s changed. There are plenty of girls with wild colors in their hair.”
“Oh good, I’ll fit right in, just what I always wanted.”
He covered her mouth with his, deepening the kiss until he felt her relax. “I like you too much, too, by the way.”
Her beautiful lips curved up and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. As he got out of the truck and pulled Kelsey out on his side, he found himself suddenly nervous as well. He knew his parents would be happy that he was happy, but it was a big moment, and at the back of his mind, there was that nagging truth that she’d leave soon. When it was just the two of them, it felt like nothing could come between them. But time, distance, all those things would be working against them soon, and he was afraid if he let her go she’d never come back.
Kelsey slid her hands into the back pockets of his jeans and kissed him, putting her entire body into it. His heart pounded in his chest, and he pushed his hand into her hair, desire flooding his veins once more. Addictive—that was the right word for being with Kelsey. Never enough, always wanting more.
She brushed her lips against his. “Just wanted to do that before we had an audience.”
“Hate to break it to you, but we’ve probably had an audience since we pulled up.”
Her cheeks colored and she glanced at the house. Then she shrugged. “Well, then let’s do this,” she said, and smacked his butt.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her up to the house. The door swung open two seconds after he knocked, leading him to believe Mom had been watching.
