by W. J. May
I looked up into his bright green eyes. They held an affection that I hadn’t realized I’d been missing. He continued tickling and held my wrists above my head as I wrestled to break free.
“Shaz, please,” I begged in a high, pleading note as desperation set in. Too much tickling could end very badly.
“Who’s the dominant wolf now?” He growled playfully in my ear.
A series of soft knocks on the apartment door caused us to freeze. After a heartbeat, Shaz jumped up. The sudden absence of his body heat caused goose bumps to break out on my skin.
I didn’t realize that I had been vibing off of him until the energy fell away. The metaphysical remnants remained like a coating of fairy dust on my skin.
Shaz flipped the lock, and I rolled over on to my stomach to push myself to my knees. I was in direct view of the door and didn’t want to be seen splayed out on the floor.
A woman’s voice called out brightly, and a brunette with a ponytail and a grey tracksuit burst into the entryway. She threw her arms around Shaz excitedly, and my breath caught. I tugged my top to cover my belly.
“How are you? I thought I’d come by and see if you want to catch a movie or grab dinner later.” She stopped suddenly when she noticed me. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had company.”
Shaz looked awkwardly at me and made a strange gesture in the air between the brunette and myself.
“Casey, it’s nice to see you. This is Alexa O’Brien. She’s a very good friend of mine. Lex, this is Casey Edmonds. She lives in the building here.”
Casey’s dark eyes flicked to me on the floor and noted the shirt that I tugged back in to place. I saw the assumption in her eyes, and I encouraged it. I fixed my hair as well, as if she’d interrupted something. Maybe it was catty, but Shaz hadn’t mentioned any lady friend, and my cheeks were burning.
“Nice to meet you, Casey.” I got to my feet and went to her, hand extended.
She tossed her wavy ponytail and sniffed. I knew she didn’t want to take my hand and, when she did, it was with the barest of touches. I resisted the urge to crush her flimsy human fingers in my grip.
“You too,” she murmured before turning back to Shaz. It was an obvious attempt at a dismissal, and I felt the energy around us begin to grow hot with my anger.
“Would you like to come in for coffee?” Shaz’s fingers worked furiously through his platinum hair, a nervous habit that he’d had as long as I have known him.
His gaze jumped back and forth between us, and I knew he’d either dated her, slept with her, or both. Why did it make my insides churn? I squashed all feelings of jealousy before I had to admit to myself how bad it was.
“No, thanks. I’m just on my way to the gym. Why don’t you give me a call sometime when you’re free?” Casey slid a sidelong glance in my direction, and then she gave him the look.
I barely restrained the desire to tear her eyes out. Power began to hum softly around me, and both Shaz and Casey reacted to it.
He knew exactly what it was, and his jade eyes narrowed in warning. Casey began to fan herself saying, “It’s hot in here, Shaz. You should turn the air conditioning on.”
“It is on,” he replied. He quickly added, “Maybe it’s broken. I’ll have the superintendent look at it.”
“You should.” She flashed me a brittle, cold smile and finally turned to leave. I sighed aloud. I hated her.
After she forced Shaz to promise to call later, he closed the door and turned to face me. Guilt defined his features, and I looked away, embarrassed by my jealousy.
“Sorry about that. I wasn’t expecting her to come by.” The moment was wretchedly awkward. The sound of the forgotten video game played loudly in the quiet apartment. “We only went out once. Nothing happened.”
“Don’t, Shaz. You don’t owe me an explanation.” And didn’t I know it? It was hard to swallow even a taste of what I’d inflicted on him.
“I want you to know that I didn’t mention it because there was nothing worth mentioning.” He shrugged, and his voice grew soft. “I only went out with her because I thought you and I never stood a chance.”
“It’s ok, Shaz. I’m the last person in the position to be demanding answers. It’s none of my business.”
He accepted that reluctantly. He nodded slightly, but I knew that he wanted to say more. Less than ten feet separated us, yet I felt like we were a world apart. I’d gotten so used to keeping people at a distance that I still didn’t know how to let anyone in.
“You want to finish the game?” He brushed past me into the living room, and the repeating music stopped.
“I’m done. I’ll be seeing colors in my dreams as it is.”
He chuckled and turned the PlayStation off. The apartment went silent. “I should probably start getting ready for work anyway.”
“Well, thanks for entertaining me. It’s been a while since we got to do this. It was nice.” I was doing a rotten job of maintaining eye contact, but I felt weird and knew he would see it in my face. Of course, he could sense the rapid beat of my heart.
“It was.” Shaz leaned casually against the wall as I gathered my things to leave. “So why don’t we go out sometime? On a real date, I mean.”
In turn, I sensed the blood rushing through him. His cheeks were flushed, and I couldn’t hide my smile.
“You’re asking me on an official date?”
Thinking back briefly, I couldn’t recall ever having been asked out on an actual date. My teen years and early twenties had been chaotic enough without romance of the human variety. After the last week, I was astonished that he even wanted a date with me.
“Yes. I’m asking you on a date. Dinner, on me.”
“And after?” I dared to ask playfully.
He shrugged. “Catch a movie, go for a run, park and make out. Whatever you prefer.”
Energy shifted between us. At the core of me, where the power of my werewolf lay rooted, I felt him. Like a shadow that I could feel but not see, his wolf lingered, hesitant to reach for me.
The vampire in my energy made him pause, and I hated that. I knew the touch of his skin as well as I knew the silk of his fur or the musk of his scent. I longed to pull his wolf around me like a blanket to drown out the energy of the grave. Everything with Arys felt more wrong when I was this close to Shaz’s pure, untainted aura.
But, I couldn’t force out what I had allowed to become a part of me. It scared me to the tips of my toes to think that I might not ever be able to.
“I would love to go on a date with you, Shaz.” I giggled slightly and felt like a total moron. I heard him release the breath he’d been holding.
“Great. How’s Friday?”
I would have ditched anything to say yes to him in that moment. As I scanned through my mental calendar, I was already free that day.
When we’d confirmed that he would pick me up at nine on Friday, I crossed the threshold into the hall and turned back to say goodbye. I loved that he was just there, close enough for me to feel.
His breath was warm and inviting. His kiss was chaste but tender. Still, I felt his hunger leashed beneath his calm surface.
My heart skipped a beat when, just as fast as he was there, he was gone. Only his scent lingered to tease me as I waited for the elevator. I was one damn confused werewolf.
Chapter Thirteen
I simply didn’t want to face anymore of Arys’s evil. I’d avoided Lucy’s Lounge and had carried the manila folder around for three days without cracking the cover. It did nothing to alleviate the growing confusion or the guilt over leaving Arys to fight the shift on his own. I wanted to pretend it would just go away. Instead, avoiding the vampire made the newfound power and the blood thirst more pronounced rather than subdued. It itched and clawed at my insides.
Rather than face Cat’s thoughts on Arys, I screwed around for as long as I could justify it to myself. Menial tasks like tidying the kitchen counters and folding laundry grabbed my attention easier than e
ver before, and I dragged the chores out until I had nothing left to keep me from the folder. Well, the walls could use a fresh coat of paint but I had to draw the line somewhere.
I had no excuse to avoid Cat’s evidence any longer. The cream-colored folder lay open on the desk in the small office I share with Ky. Sounds from late night television murmured quietly from the small TV set in the corner. A glass of my favorite red wine stood tall next to the sheaf of papers, awaiting my return.
Finally, I stared at the folder and thought, Arys is a vampire who enjoys it. What more do I need to know? Bothered by the prospect of a reason to take Arys out within those pages, I took a large, un-lady-like gulp of wine first.
Even my knowledge of the vampire’s bizarre memories didn’t prepare me for what I discovered on the series of crisp, white photocopied pages of Cat’s journal. Before reaching the end of the first page, I was sitting up a little straighter in my chair with rapt attention. As I read, his memories began to take form inside my mind.
Catherine had written about her time as a new vampire with him. Her tales of seduction as a key component in inevitable murder resulted in a spattering of goose bumps along my arms. The wheels turned faster in my brain as I tapped into his memories of those same events.
Arys fed on much more than blood alone. Like a cat with a mouse, he drew out his excruciating game in order to savor it completely. Most of his victims were more than a quick snack. He used seduction and fear as an intoxicant, vital to his feeding process. Arys rarely took blood without the kill. In his earlier days as a vampire, he had little regard for the value of human life and used no discretion when choosing a victim.
As I read, I began to get the impression that Catherine had been nothing more to him than a victim gone wrong. He had never meant for her to survive him. Not only did he continue to bed his victims after forming a relationship with her, but he also encouraged her to do the same.
Arys loved to swim in the heady sexual energy of his lovers. I knew this personally. Their pleasurable responses generated higher energy production for him to consume. It made perfect sense, and yet I couldn’t shake the heavy feeling that formed in the pit of my stomach.
Apparently Arys was no stranger to torture. Much of his enjoyment came from terrorizing his victims into hysterics. He took the most enjoyment from bleeding them tauntingly slowly. Though his methods were tasteless and cruel, they never crossed into the level of gruesome that I’d come to associate with human crime. How very reassuring.
My eyes flashed back to the previous page. I hadn’t read anything that I hadn’t already seen inside his memories. Even the girls who resisted ended up begging for fulfillment or death.
Bottom line, the vamp got off on the lust and terror of his victims before he killed them. In fact, he went to great lengths to draw it out for extended periods of time. Once he’d consumed all of his victims’ sexual energy, a show of fangs and a little bloody torture generated a whole new kind of energy. Fear is the ultimate undoing of any predator. Feel it, and it’s already too late.
Blood alone contains enough pranic energy for the sustenance of a vampire. Adding the often underestimated power of extreme lust and fear to the mix was like eating a five course dinner for every meal. It definitely explained his immense power but not his reasons why.
Chills ran down my spine at the thought of being his victim. Whether consensual or not, his victims loved every moment of the fire he ignited within them, just like I had. Even as I remembered, a tingle jabbed at my core, and a drizzle of adrenaline rushed through me. Had he ever intended to kill me? Or, was the obvious fact that I wasn’t human enough to keep me off his food list?
Thinking back on every exchange between us, it had always somehow been about the metaphysics going on beneath the surface. I couldn’t pinpoint one time when the energy hadn’t simmered when he was near. I wondered how much of my attraction to Arys had been natural and how much was his metaphysical influence. With sudden realization, I noticed that I was gently caressing the faint scar of his bite.
“Son of a bitch!” I shoved my chair back with a squeaky roll of wheels and narrowly avoided knocking the wine glass over.
Now that I felt like just another conquest to the power monger vampire, I was both embarrassed and pissed off. Mostly at myself. I couldn’t blame Arys for seeing me as something he wanted to sample. I blamed myself for letting him. I’ve played this game before, and dammit, I knew better.
I hemmed and hawed for a minute, uncertain about disturbing Kylarai in her room. I wanted to burst in there rambling a mile a minute about what a fool I am. Was it love I wanted from Arys? Hell no. But, I had expected respect.
“Power! That’s all that the bastard wanted from me.” I pounced on Ky the second I heard her door open.
“Excuse me?” She attempted to set a pot of coffee to brew while I waved papers in her face.
“Here.” I shoved one particular sheet into her hand. “Read this one.” Screw confidentiality. This case was personal, an exception to the rule.
I watched her eyebrows rise as she read about the night both Arys and Catherine had lured a young married couple home from the theatre. As she took in the tale, she didn’t pause or look up.
Cat’s description of the effects of so much energy had stirred a response low in my body. In the game Arys played, sex wasn’t the main act at all, merely a method of foreplay.
“Well that explains why he’s so damn powerful,” Kylarai said, repeating close to what I’d thought myself. “But really, he can’t be the only vampire acting as an incubus to increase the high.”
“You’re not surprised?” I stared at her incredulously.
“Not really, Lex. He’s a vampire. Do you expect him to ask politely if he may drain your essence away with your life?”
I gaped at her open mouthed. Why did I suddenly feel like I was overreacting?
“Look.” She touched my arm gently. “It makes sense that you feel betrayed, but you can’t hold his nature against him. The past has nothing to do with you. If I were you, I’d tell this Catherine person that you can’t help her. And, do it before she finds out you’re doing her man.”
“I am not doing him. All I was to that jackass was new power to consume.” I crossed my arms over my chest. I shuffled my feet angrily and sniffed at the tantalizing aroma of brewing coffee.
“Would you rather have just been sex to him?” She eyed me skeptically, and I met her gaze evenly.
“Yes.” I didn’t even have to think about it. “That’s what it was to me. I didn’t go after him with ulterior motives.”
Kylarai practically laughed right in my face at that, and I bit back the rant on the tip of my tongue. “You liar.” She even went so far as to jab a finger at me in the air. “It was all of that spiced up power that had you so hot for him in the first place.”
“What?”
“If he’d been human, there is no way you would have given him more than a passing glance.” She turned to take two mugs out of the cupboard. “You’re so hopped up on the juice yourself that you don’t seem to realize that you’re seeking it out, too. Though, perhaps, your reasons differ from a vampire’s.”
Dumbfounded, I stared as she poured coffee into each mug and handed one to me. “Do you really think that?” I spoke to fill the space, but part of me knew that she was right.
Arys could barely look at me without causing my senses to burn for more. Could it be that I wasn’t a victim of his seduction, but an equal partner in my own right?
“You know it’s true. It doesn’t take a psychic to feel the energy increase when you’re in the same room as a powerful man.”
That was partially true. Both Raoul and even Shaz had stirred the metaphysical side of me. Not every vampire or shifter did though.
“So you’re saying I got as much out of our encounter as he did.” I nodded. The pieces were starting to fit. I didn’t particularly like it.
“Exactly. Which means you could never have been his v
ictim. He didn’t kill you or even try because you aren’t food. You’re an equal. You gained as much as you gave. And, we both know you were a willing participant.”
A sudden blush spread across my cheeks. I tucked the paper back into the pile and marched back to the den.
Dammit, Kylarai always got to be the insightful one. Something in me felt abused by Arys simply because I’d been unaware of his deep need of power. I was desperate to blame him for my wanton desire, for my betrayal of Shaz. Disappointed in the loss of my fury, I closed the folder. The rest of Cat’s diary pages would stay unread.
After procrastinating for a few minutes, I called the number that she’d left for me and left her a voicemail declining the job. This case was about a broken heart that had nothing to do with me. In the meantime, I had a ton to think about, my own personal issues.
At half past one, the night was by no means over. After a ludicrous attempt to read a cheesy romance novel from Ky’s bookshelf, I soon gave up. I couldn’t get past the first page. I could do a million things to pass the time, but I couldn’t invest myself in any one of them. Nagging thoughts refused to leave me alone. I couldn’t help but wonder how Arys was doing.
By ignoring our mistake, were we simply making it worse?
The last time that I saw him, Arys was fighting a deep sense of confusion. Having something that he could not control was outside his realm of comfort. For my part, bouts of nausea and bloodlust alternatively wracked me, and though the moments were brief, they were frighteningly intense. But, I hadn’t given in yet. I refused to crumple into longing the way that Arys had. I rode out every surge with willpower and sheer stubbornness. However, everyday, the need to give in to the bloodlust grew stronger. It grew harder to resist.
Determined and curious, I zipped a dark grey hoodie over my black t-shirt with a bright pink Playboy bunny logo. I changed into a pair of hip-hugging, black jeans so I could actually move comfortably. I double-checked that I had both my cell phone and wallet before calling out, “I’m going out.” Kylarai’s response sounded affirmative, so I locked the door on my way out.
