by Piper King
“Your sink is about to fall into the cabinet underneath.” He patted the sink, and a resounding groan echoed from the strain of the metal on wood. It had been making that noise for months, but I hadn’t known what it meant.
“And that means you need to take your shirt off?” I asked in almost a squeak. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me. The day before I’d spent hours naked and panting in his truck and now I was acting like an embarrassed schoolgirl.
“It’s hot as fuck in here, Lucy.” He shook his head and gave me a slight smile. “I’m going to have to get an AC installed in here, too.”
I nibbled on my bottom lip. “I appreciate the help, Diesel. I really do. But with Anna and all the other bills, I can’t really afford to fix this place up.”
“Don’t worry about all that,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I’ll take care of it.”
“But—”
“Let me take care of you, Lucy.” His voice was firm and commanding. A heavy weight that had been pressing down on my shoulders for the past year lifted slightly, giving me more room to breathe. It had been so hard to make ends meet. It had been so hard to make sure I provided for Anna. And as much as I wanted to do it all myself, I couldn’t. And now I didn’t have to make it on my own.
34
Lucy’s place needed so much work that it would take months to get it into the kind of shape I wanted. I didn’t mind though. It gave me something to do. Over the years, I’d saved up a lot of money. Trucking paid alright, and I didn’t own much in the world. My tiny studio apartment back home barely cost a thing. Not to mention the chunk of money the government had given me when they’d sent me home. I didn’t touch any of that though. It felt like Jackson’s money, and I couldn’t bear to spend it.
I needed to find another job eventually, now that I’d decided to stay full-time and stop driving my truck all over the country while Lucy and my child stayed at home without anyone to take care of them. But for now, we were doing just fine.
As the days went by, Lucy and I developed a routine. Anna would wake up before the crack of dawn, and I’d be downstairs making breakfast. Lucy would shuffle into the kitchen, tired and rubbing her eyes and looking like the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen. We’d have some bacon and eggs, and then Lucy would rest while I got to work on the house. She didn’t go into the diner anymore. I’d insisted she quit. So, she spent her days looking after our beautiful baby girl instead.
In the evening, Grams would come around and she’d ooh and ahh over the baby, and then we’d all have a nice dinner together before bed.
And then I’d go outside and sleep in the truck, thrashing and twisting and flashing back to the day Jared got my brother’s body blown apart.
Everything about my new life was perfect apart from that.
It had been a full week since I’d ‘moved in’ with Lucy, and we hadn’t fucked in all that time. It was killing me, to be so close to her, to see her gorgeous face every damn day, to smell the apple scent of her every time I moved about the house. I wanted her with every fiber of my being, but it didn’t feel right to take what I wanted when I couldn’t give her what she wanted in return.
For me to open up. For me to let down my walls. For me to move beyond my past.
I couldn’t do that when it was haunting me every goddamn night.
Lucy walked into the living room with a glass of whiskey, handed it to me, and settled in on the couch by my side. We’d just had dinner, and Anna was upstairs asleep. It was one of the only times we’d been truly alone together in days, at least not like this. Crickets hummed outside the open windows, and the dim lights cast a soft glow across Lucy’s tanned skin. She looked fucking beautiful, and my cock ached to feel her sweet touch.
“Diesel.” Her voice was soft, gentle. I knew where this was going. “Why don’t you stay in here for the night? You don’t need to sleep out in that truck of yours.”
“I told you it’s for your own good,” I said, not meeting her eyes. We’d had this same conversation every night for the past week. Yesterday, I’d finally caved and told her why. I had nightmares, flashbacks, memories so strong that I yelled in my sleep, so loud that it made my voice hoarse sometimes. I wasn’t going to bring that inside. “It would scare Anna.”
She looked at me thoughtfully. “Try it just this once.”
“Lucy.” I turned to her, voice rough. Her eyes were so clear and so pure. This woman was the sweetest person I’d ever met. I didn’t deserve to be cared for like this. I’d been an ass. I’d been selfish. And yet here she was, trying to help me. It was tearing me apart inside that I couldn’t be the kind of man she wanted. Someone who wasn’t broken. Someone who was strong. But I was a fucking weak man, and she deserved far better than this.
“I know you don’t think you can do it,” she said, taking my hands in hers. “But you can.”
“It’s not about me,” I said to her. “It’s about you.”
“I know.” She nodded and smiled up at me. “So, why don’t you try sleeping inside just this one time. For me.”
Fuck. Me. Inwardly, I groaned. She was asking a hell of a lot of me to do this, but if this is what she really wanted, how could I say no? I’d told her what happened when I slept at night, and there was no part of me that wanted to put that on her. But maybe she needed to see it just this once to know why I could never be what she wanted.
It would kill me to turn her away from me like that, but maybe it was for the best.
And she was practically begging me. I couldn’t say no to those eyes.
“Alright, I’ll do it just this once, Lucy.” I held up a finger the second she began to speak. “But I’m staying down here on the couch.”
Lucy nodded and began to fix up the couch like she had the first night I’d stayed here. It felt like a year had passed since that night, even though it had only been a week. I watched her get to work, her little tank top riding up her back and exposing her skin. God, I wanted her. I wanted her in ways I’d never wanted anyone else. My fingers grazed the delicate skin on her back, and she froze before turning to face me. Her cheeks had flooded with color and her pupils were so deep, I could get lost in them for days.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said in almost a growl.
“Yes, I do,” she whispered.
I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, memorizing exactly how she tasted. I never wanted to forget.
An electric shock went through me, and every drop of blood in my body drained into my dick. It was so hard and so full of need that I might never get to sleep.
Maybe that was for the best.
“Goodnight, sweet thing.”
I woke up screaming, drenched in sweat, my heart roaring in my ears. Jackson, Jackson, Jackson. The blood on his face flickered in my mind, red and harsh and angry, and there was nothing else that I could see. Grimacing, I shoved my hands against my face and tried to shake the memory out of my head, but it wouldn’t go away.
“Diesel.” Lucy’s soft voice cut through the sound of bullets ripping through my ears and she wrapped me up in her arms. She was cool and soft, and she pulled my thoughts away from then and back to now.
“Anna.” I twisted to face her. “Did I scare Anna?”
“She’s fine.” Lucy pressed a cool wet towel against my forehead. “She’s fast asleep.”
I let out a deep sigh of relief and shook my head. “I’m so sorry, Lucy.”
“What ever for?” It was dark in the living room, the only light spilling in from the moon outside the tiny window. But I could see a smile on her face, the total opposite of what I had expected. I’d imagined fear and concern, but there wasn’t a trace of those emotions in her eyes.
“Didn’t I scare you?”
“Nope, not one bit.” She dabbed the towel against the back of my hot neck. “Why don’t you tell me what happened that day.”
It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. And it sent my heart racing all over again.
<
br /> “Jared already told you.” His name was like a grenade on my tongue.
“That’s true.” She was being so patient and calm with me that it was hard for me to hold onto the hate I liked to keep clutched around my heart. “But he told me what happened to him. I want to hear what happened to you.”
A beat passed. And then another. All the reasons in my mind for keeping it from her seemed scattered to the wind. Right here and right now, in the darkness, with her soft and gentle hands brushing the sweat off my face, saying the words aloud didn’t seem so hard anymore.
So, I told her. In fits and starts, in shuddered breaths and hoarse words, my heart thundering loud in my ears. As I spoke, she held me tight in her arms, and her eyes never left my crumpled face. And when it was over, she didn’t say a word. She brought my head to her chest and pressed her soft lips to my forehead, waiting for what felt like hours while the tension in my body eased its grip. She took a piece of me that I’d thought I’d lost and stitched it back into place.
35
It was tough for Diesel to tell me what had happened to him, but he did. And it was pretty much as gut-wrenching as I’d imagined. He had been through so much and yet he was still so strong. And the crazy thing about it was, he didn’t see his own strength. He thought because he mourned for his brother that he was weak. But he hadn’t fallen apart. He’d kept himself going all this time.
“I don’t know why you’re doing this,” he said. “You’ve got enough on your plate without having to deal with my shit. You’d be so much better off if I left you in peace. You see that now, right?”
“The hell I would.” I jutted out my chin and grasped his face in my hands, forcing him to look into my eyes, so he could see just how serious I was. “If it weren’t for you, I’d still be slaving my ass off in that diner every night, serving sticky pancakes to grumpy men. If it weren’t for you, my house would be falling even more apart. If it weren’t for you…I would be falling even more apart. I’m so lucky to have Anna and Grams, but your presence here has filled a hole inside me I didn’t realize was even there.”
“You really mean all that,” Diesel said, eyes widening. Not a question, a statement. A realization that I accepted him for everything he was and more. He’d been so certain that I would push him away when I saw the depth of his wound, but instead, I wanted him even more than I had before.
Leaning closer, so close that our lips were barely an inch apart, I whispered, “I mean it.”
I licked my lips and brushed my hair away from my shoulders, a silent invitation for him to do whatever he pleased.
Diesel shuddered and wrapped his arms around me. “My god, woman. You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
And then he kissed me.
He leaned back into the couch and pulled me onto his lap. Spreading my legs, I straddled him and felt the length of his hard dick through my thin nightgown. My pussy grew wet, just from knowing how much he wanted me and how little it took for me to turn him on. All I had to do was give him one look, and his cock responded without hesitation.
I’d never felt sexier in my life.
Groaning, he gently pushed my hair behind my shoulders and dragged his mouth against my ear. Shivers followed in its wake. I moaned, closing my eyes, relishing in his touch. It had only been a week, but it had felt like almost a lifetime since I’d been held tight in his arms.
He slowly kissed every inch of my neck before sliding down the straps of my nightgown so that my breasts were exposed. My nipples were hard and erect, begging to be touched. And his mouth complied.
“Oh, Diesel,” I sighed, dragging my hands through his thick hair. He lifted his head and met my eyes, every emotion churning through me reflected on his face. It was as if we were baring our souls, meeting the truth of each other head on. He was mine, and I was his, even if we hadn’t said as much yet.
By opening up about the past, he had given himself to me. And now it was my turn to give myself to him.
“You are one of a kind, Lucy,” he breathed, eyes still locked onto mine. He pressed his hand harder into my back and pulled me so close that we were practically one. “I want you. Every night for the rest of my life.”
A thrill went through me at the words I’d thought I’d never hear, not from him, not from anyone. I dropped my hands to his chest and lifted his shirt over his head, brushing my hands across his broad shoulders. His muscles rippled under my touch, and I suddenly felt so small and so feminine, engulfed by this perfect specimen of a man.
“Then, take me,” I whispered, dropping one kiss onto his chest and then another. “I’m yours.”
Diesel stood, my legs still wrapped around his waist, one hand on my ass and the other on his boxer briefs. One breath later, his cock pressed into my wetness, sending tremors of pleasure through my pussy. He was so big I had to gasp and dig my nails into his back. That only turned him on even more and soon he had me up against the wall. But instead of taking me hard and fast as he’d done so many times before, he slowly rocked against me, taking his time, kissing my face and my neck and caressing my ears with his hot breath.
“You’re so beautiful, Lucy. You feel so sweet.”
I wrapped my legs tighter around him and moaned. The only thing that existed in the world was this man and the way his eyes burned through mine. His cock pressed further inside me and he began to rock with a rhythm that drove me straight to the edge. Meeting his eyes, I whispered his name, and we came together, experiencing our pleasure as one.
36
After we made love, Lucy curled up on my chest and drifted off to sleep. Her breaths grew deeper, her entire body relaxed. And a sense of pure satisfaction washed over me. Not because I’d just had the kind of sex I’d never thought I’d have, but because I’d had it with her. She was the only woman I wanted ever again, and lucky for me, she loved having me do whatever I pleased.
She had seen me, all of me. Instead of viewing me as weak and scared, she’d called me strong. My flashbacks didn’t scare her. In fact, it almost seemed ridiculous that I ever thought they would. This was Lucy I was talking about. My fierce little firecracker who wouldn’t run away from a nightmare of a past.
She’d face it head on, and it was time for me to do the same.
I’d be a better man. For her, for Anna, for Jackson’s memory. Hell, even for me.
A bright light blinded my eyes, and I blinked hard. Confused, I sat up from the creaky couch, glancing around to see a blanket had been draped across my chest. The sun streamed in through the window, and I dropped my feet on the floor, dumbfounded.
I’d slept. And by the look of the sky, it’d been for a long damn time. Not mere moments snatched here and there between nightmares.
Lucy peeked her head around the doorframe and smiled. “Morning, sleepyhead.”
She edged into the room with Anna in her arms. Our baby girl was awake, making soft little noises. Seeing them standing there together like that made the confusion in my head drift away. I’d never planned for any of this, but there was no doubt in my mind that this was where I needed to be.
“How long did I sleep?” When I stood from the couch, the carpet scratched against my feet. I’d need to do something about that. There were still a lot of things I needed to fix in this house, especially as an idea began to take shape. I could probably get things to the level they needed to be in a month or two. It’d be gruelling work, but it would be so damn worth it when Lucy realized exactly why I’d turned this rundown shack into an actual home.
If I wanted to move her out of here, it needed to be in good shape to sell.
“You were out like a light for hours.” She smiled. “It’s about ten now. Grams called a few minutes ago. Said she wants to come around for lunch.”
“Well, sounds like I need to get moving.” I moved across the room and dropped a kiss on Lucy’s cheek before doing the same to Anna. Her soft little eyes stared up at me and her lips turned up into a smile. That one little look tugged on my hear
t so much I swore there were onions in the room. That or I suddenly had dust allergies. Yeah, that was definitely it.
“Sleep alright?” Lucy asked.
“I don’t know what kind of spell you cast on me.” I brushed her chin with my thumb. “But I didn’t have a single flashback. Looks like all I needed this whole time was you.”
Her smile lit up the whole room. “And don’t you forget it, Tiger.”
37
Two Months Later
There’d been quite a few things I’d learned since moving in with Lucy. One of those things was that it took at least ten times longer to pack the car with a baby than without one. There were also what felt like hundreds of extra items to bring along, and they seemed to multiply each time I turned away. So, when I’d suggested we hit the road by eight, we actually didn’t get moving until way past ten.
Normally, I wouldn’t mind. We’d get there when we got there. This trip though…it was far more than a vacation and nerves skittered through my veins. Everything about this needed to be perfect.
After Lucy and Anna were finally settled into the car, I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. My feet carried me through the grass and stopped just at the edge of the porch. I didn’t look up, not yet. I’d come a long way, but I still didn’t find it too easy to look into his face.
“You look after this place, alright?” The words were directed at the ground. “There are a lot of good memories here.”
“I plan to treat her good.” Jared spoke quietly as he patted the porch beams. They’d been newly painted in a sunshine yellow—Lucy’s choice—and they made the house almost seem cheery, such a stark contrast to the man who stood before me. Maybe some of the house’s happiness could rub off on him somehow.
