by Debra Kayn
He let go of her nipple and moved his head side to side, rubbing his face between her breasts. His cock buried deep inside of her pulsed, and he slowly stroked her from the inside.
Jolene's rapid breathing filled the room. "Y-you're shirtless because you like to go without your flannel shirt in the summer, and you take your jeans off. But, you don't move toward me."
He stilled and raised his head to look at her. "I'd move toward you."
"No. You'd look. Just look like you always do without saying a word, and at that moment my heart would burst, because you have a habit of being overwhelmed with feelings that you can do nothing but stop and enjoy the pleasure you get when we're together." She ran her finger over his brow. "Like right now. You're not moving. Only looking. And, that look makes me fall harder in love with you."
He swallowed. She was right. His cock was inside her, and he hadn't moved since he'd raised his head to look at her.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, too, Caiden Hall," she whispered.
He rolled on top of her and moved. Slow, then faster. Until they both flew.
CHAPTER 30
I trust you: That's huge. That's truth. That's real love. Everyone uses 'I love you' so loosely. —Justin Chatwin
If garnets had eyes, they'd be staring up at Jolene from the tray, mocking her. She glanced from the finished pieces of jewelry to the remaining garnets—uncut, unedged, and imperfect. She'd gotten nothing done all morning.
Even the jewelry that was ready to be included in the Quintessential Line had lost their sparkle, their brilliance, their uniqueness. Not that they weren't beautiful pieces done to perfection, they were.
During the process, her satisfaction had dwindled.
She pushed away from the table and let the wheels on the chair take her away from the staring contest she had going on with her work. All week, she'd blamed her lack of interest in working on wanting to be with Caiden.
He came back to the cabin every night, but they both needed to do their jobs during the day.
Standing, she walked into the kitchen and filled up a glass full of water. She either suffered from burnout, or she needed inspiration. If she knew what would help, she could do something constructive instead of spending the days daydreaming and letting her mind wander to everything but making jewelry.
She carried her water into the living room. A shaft of light caught her attention, and she walked to the window and pulled the drapes she'd bought two days ago open. She peered outside, squinting against the sun glaring off the snow, hoping to find Caiden pulling up to the cabin. Nobody was outside.
She stepped back, and the light flashed again, and she looked up and smiled. The gift she'd given Caiden hung off a nail, and the sun hit one of the garnets. The reflection was the flash of light she'd seen.
Caiden kept forgetting to take the suncatcher home, and he must've hung it last night while she was in the shower. Since he'd started spending the night, he only went home to check the pipes, grab clothes, and shovel his steps.
He never brought more than a change of clothes, and he kept his toothbrush, hairbrush, deodorant, and soap in his overnight bag, taking it with him when he left for work. She tilted her head and stepped sideways to catch the red stream of light from the garnet. Every night, she thought about telling him he could use half of her dresser and her closet for his things but the permanency of having him here filled her with anxiety.
After her mom had called a few days ago, while Caiden was at the cabin, threatening to come to Idaho because she'd heard a rumor that she was seeing Caiden, her old fears resurfaced. She stepped to the window, reached up, and straightened the suncatcher. Nobody had a right to tell her how to live her life, and she was sure Dr. Virann broke patient confidentiality by telling Jolene's mom that Caiden was spending time at the cabin with her.
She ran her finger over one of the garnets, attracted to the less than perfect shape. Her heartbeat accelerated, and she took the suncatcher down and carried it to the door. Going outside in her stocking feet, she walked to the edge of the porch and held Caiden's gift out in front of her, directly in the sun.
A slow smile came to her face, and inspiration struck.
She'd been going about the Quintessential Line all wrong. Clarity hit her swiftly on what she needed to do to achieve success, and it wasn't in the jewelry pieces she'd already completed. She hurried back inside the house, shutting the door behind her. With lucidity came confidence and her mind cleared.
She'd been wrong in everything. To take a chance on success, she had to highlight what only she could bring to her pieces. Relief flooded her, and her adrenaline spiked. She also knew what she wanted with Caiden, and there were things she needed to do to make sure they were together forever.
Carrying the suncatcher into the workroom, she grabbed her notebook, and roughly sketched her idea for a necklace. The pencil couldn't go fast enough as she moved on to drawing out the designs for a bracelet and a ring. Her hand tired, and she slapped the cover closed.
Daring, unique, and unexpected. Exactly what the Quintessential Line needed to draw the attention of the merchants.
Motivated and confident, she went into the bedroom and changed her clothes, putting on her boots and coat, grabbing her purse. She had one more thing she had to do and then she was going to find Caiden. All this time, she'd been protecting herself. It was time to be honest with herself and go after what she wanted.
She loved Caiden. She promised to love him forever, and that's what she was going to do.
Leaving the cabin, she drove into town. Her head full of ideas, hopes, and dreams, she realized when she pulled up outside Dr. Virann's office in Federal that she had driven the whole way automatically with not a thought to driving.
No longer a seventeen-year-old girl, lost, heartbroken, and under her parents' care, Jolene marched into the building and straight to the receptionist's desk.
"Can I help you?" asked the woman behind the desk.
Jolene nodded. "I need to see Dr. Virann."
"Do you have an appointment?"
"I don’t need one. Tell Dr. Virann that Jolene Shayne is here and demanding to see her." She smiled to take the sting out of her demand. It wasn't the office worker's fault that what she had to say couldn't wait.
"Excuse me." The woman stood and walked out of sight.
Jolene turned around. The waiting room was empty. She pulled her phone out of her purse and called Caiden. His voice mail came on. "Caiden, I need to talk to you. Can you call me?" She paused. "It's important."
The door behind her opened. Jolene turned around, disconnected the call, and shoved her cell back in her purse at the sight of Dr. Virann.
"Jolene. Please, come in." Dr. Virann smiled and stepped back to let her through the door. "I'm so glad you took me up on my offer to see you."
Jolene walked straight back to Dr. Virann's office, knowing the way by heart even though she hadn't stepped foot in the place since her follow-up appointment after she was discharged from the clinic.
Dr. Virann closed the door. "Please, have a seat."
"I'll stand." Jolene stood behind the chair, preferring to have the desk between her and the doctor.
"Your mother was hoping you'd make an appointment." Dr. Virann steepled her fingers on top of the desk. "I know we're all concerned about you."
"That's why I'm here." Jolene retrieved her phone out of her purse and moved around the chair. "I had an interesting phone call from my mother a few days ago that had me wondering who would tell her that Caiden Hall is spending time with me."
"She's concerned that you are falling back into your destructive patterns." Dr. Virann's fingers curled, and she clutched her hands. "You've worked extremely hard over the years to push negative behavior behind you and your mother only—"
"That was twenty years ago," said Jolene.
"I'm aware of that, and I understand in the years since then, you've walked away from continuing therapy and up until recently, you've maint
ained a lifestyle that aids you in a positive outcome." Dr. Virann reached for a pen on her desk.
"Exactly how would you know how I've lived since leaving the institution?" asked Jolene.
"The clinic?" Dr. Virann smiled, and the pleasantry failed to reach the doctor's eyes. "Jolene, as you well know, I'm friends with your parents, and I've always had your best interest at heart."
"Even when you break the law?" Jolene scoffed. "Every time you agree to help my mother control my behavior, you're illegally infringing on my rights. I'm no longer a minor. I haven't been for a long time and for you to continue discussing and assessing me, as a doctor, goes against what you've sworn to do."
"Jolene—"
"No." Jolene brought up her mom's contact information on her phone and placed the cell on the desk in front of Dr. Virann. "Now, I'm going to make this perfectly clear. You're going to call my mother and tell her that you are no longer legally able to discuss me with her. You will no longer pass information to her about me. You will no longer make assumptions about me, or you will find yourself getting a visit from my lawyer."
Dr. Virann picked up the phone and called Jolene's mother. Jolene, empowered by drawing boundaries in her life, realized that every time someone had preached to her about staying away from Caiden Hall, she had known the truth.
Her heartbreak wasn't because she loved Caiden too much it bordered on obsessive behavior. It was because others hadn't loved her enough to trust that she knew what was best for her. The only thing Dr. Virann and all the therapists at the institution had been right about was her need to remove toxic people from her life.
That was reality and the reason she needed to make sure her mother and Dr. Virann no longer had control over her life, whether physically or mentally.
CHAPTER 31
Man spends his life in reasoning on the past, in complaining of the present, in fearing future. — Antoine Rivarol
Jolene's car was gone.
Caiden tried the doorknob and found the cabin locked. Where the hell would she have gone?
He cupped his hand against the window and leaned his head close to look inside. There was nothing drawing his attention as out of place. The lights were off, but she wouldn't have needed them today with blue skies in the daytime. Her coat and boots she kept by the front door were gone.
Frustrated, he turned away and paced the length of the porch, hoping to hear a car coming up the road, and instead, only silence surrounded him. When Jolene had called and left a message, she'd sounded panicked and formal. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing the strands off his forehead.
A cold sweat broke out underneath his clothes, and the below-freezing temperature failed to cool him off. He took his phone out of his pocket and called Jolene again. "Come on, pick up."
The phone rang. His pulse accelerated. Then, her voice asked him to leave a message.
"I'm worried, Jolene. No matter where you are, give me a call." He looked off into the trees. "I need to hear your voice and know you're okay."
He disconnected the call and stared at his phone. There was no one he could contact to find out where she'd gone. She stayed to herself since coming back to Federal, and the couple of friends she'd mentioned to him lived in a different state. He never asked for their last names or had their phone numbers. Never thought he'd have a reason to contact them. Never believed Jolene would step out of his life without letting him know where she was going.
He walked back to the steps and stopped. He couldn't leave without knowing if she was okay. Turning around, he stepped over to the rocker underneath the window and sat down. He'd tried to take his time for Jolene's sake. Regardless of her openness to invite him back into her life, there was a leeriness about her. One minute, giving herself completely to him, and the next she'd make it clear that she wanted to continue on the path she'd set out for herself.
Every night, when he left the gas station, he tried to go home and let her have more space to figure out what she wanted, and he couldn't do it. He ended up driving out to the cabin to see her. Then, she'd invite him to stay.
He was weak around her. Letting his head fall back in the rocker, he stared straight up at the roof of the porch. Hell, he was weak without her.
Maybe she'd gone into Federal to meet her distributor. He tapped his boot against the porch. No, Jolene had mentioned the deadline several times in the last week, and the date was further out. She also wasn't the type of woman to go out unnecessarily. She went to the store, ate out, and visited the post office to pick up her mail.
He stood again, unable to sit still. The message she'd left was proof that she needed him. Something wasn't right. He couldn't shake the feeling, only knew he needed to stay at the cabin. It was his best plan. She had to turn up eventually.
It would be getting dark soon. Dusk had already set in since he'd arrived at the cabin.
The darkness brought his fears to the surface. He paced the length of the porch. Tension riddled his body, and he fisted his hands.
The temperature dropped with the setting sun. He stopped in front of the window and cocked his head. There was something drawing him to the window, but he couldn't figure it out.
He ran his hand along the window frame, reaching above him at the top of the wood trim, hoping there was a spare key hidden. He froze, dropping his hand to his side.
The suncatcher he'd hung this morning was gone.
The implications of why Jolene would remove the gift she'd made for him confused him. He staggered away from the window until his ass hit the railing on the porch and he rubbed his hand across his jaw. She'd removed something that belonged to him from the cabin.
"No, don't do this to me again, Jolene," he whispered, reaching for his phone.
He tapped Jolene's name and called again. Left another message. Again.
CHAPTER 32
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. —Eleanor Roosevelt
The cell phone in Jolene's pocket vibrated. She ignored the call and concentrated on driving. Even going under the speed limit to make sure she stayed on the road. The cold temperature and the sunshine earlier had made the snow-covered roads slick with a crust of ice.
She'd tried hard to get out of the store after picking up a few groceries, but there were several people in front of her in line and only one cashier working. They all seemed to know each other, because the conversations lasted longer than ringing up their groceries, and she was stuck driving home in the dark.
Her phone vibrated again. A smile of satisfaction came over her, knowing it was her mother. Ten minutes after Dr. Virann had finished telling Jolene's mom that she would no longer discuss her daughter's life, her cell phone started ringing. She'd shut off the ringer and left it on vibrate, getting more satisfaction than she thought possible. Stating her boundaries and threatening Dr. Virann with a lawsuit was well worth the irritating phone calls, which she had no plans to answer.
To have any kind of relationship with her parents, it'd have to be healthy for her. She'd given them almost thirty-eight years of her life hoping they'd love her the way she wanted them to and making the once a year trip to Arizona for her dad's birthday party showed her that would never happen. Whether they had no idea how to love or they believed controlling meant caring, she no longer trusted them. It was time for her to live her life, on her terms, for her happiness.
She turned on the low beam headlights as she approached the curve. The backend of her car slid. She jerked on the steering wheel, overcorrecting, and the vehicle swung half way around and stopped with a jolt.
Her heart pounded. She sat, staring out into the night, trying to figure out which direction her car faced. There wasn't a soul in sight.
She looked all around her and stepped on the accelerator. The tires spun in the slick snow, and the car refused to go forward.
Having been wrapped up in her thoughts, she couldn't even be sure where on the county road she ended up or how close she was to the road that
would lead her to the cabin. Snow covered trees all looked the same in the dark. Not wanting to trudge through the snow without knowing how far she had to walk, she only had two options.
Call 911.
Call Caiden.
There was no hesitation. She dug her cell out and looked at the screen. There were twelve missed calls. She called Caiden and lifted the phone to her ear.
Nothing.
She lowered her arm and looked on the screen. "Shit," she muttered.
There was no cell service. She grabbed her purse, her keys, and put on her emergency flashers. At least she knew where on the road she'd gone into the ditch. She grabbed the flashlight out of the glovebox and turned it on. She'd noticed before that when she went past the Bantorus clubhouse, she lost cell reception for about a mile.
She got out of the car and walked up the road, using the tire ruts to stay on course and the flashlight to lead her way. Going until the tops of her thighs burned from the exertion of walking in the snow, she stopped and aimed the light over the road she'd covered.
"You've got to be kidding me?" She could see the light reflecting off her car's windshield. She could've sworn she'd walked farther than that.
Setting a goal that she'd only stop once she made it past the next corner, she pushed on, trudging along, and tried to ignore the fatigue. She'd feel safer in view of the clubhouse where she could use her cell phone.
A low rumble could be heard over her heaving breath. She stopped and cocked her head. It was coming from in front of her.
She stepped into the deeper snow on the side of the road, a less dangerous place to stand than in the lane. A couple of minutes later, headlights appeared. She waved her arms, flashing the light at the truck, hoping she wasn't blinding the driver.
A short honk came, and she lowered her arm, breathing a breath of relief. She'd been spotted.
The truck slowed down and came to a stop. She stepped out onto the road.
"Problem?" said a familiar male voice.
She stepped closer, squinting in the dark. "Kurt?"
