by M. C. Cerny
I sit down beside her and take her hand in mine. It’s small, and I feel like a giant all bumbling and ridiculous. “Of course you can. We have the room for yoga you can use.” My thumb absently rubs her hand and I take in how soft she is. I notice the bare spot on her left hand has no ring, hasn’t been for some time. I know she’s divorced but I don’t like thinking some asshole put a ring there. It’s irrational and I shake it off.
“Seriously?” Her eyes pop and she bounces off the sofa twirling. Her skirt rises with her giving me a peek of shadows beneath and I’m inwardly groaning. She’s not a tease, she has no idea how I feel about her or the ridiculous candle I’ve been holding all these years.
“Anything for my best friend.” I bite back. “Let me check the books.” I get up and flip through the schedule attempting to buy more time. I already know that next Saturday is open, but I turn to ask her for clarification, “Did you have a date in mind?”
“I was thinking over the weekend?” She nibbles her bottom lip looking down.
“Hmmm.” I turn back to the book flipping a page back and forth.
“I’m sorry, I know how short notice it is.” She murmurs.
I hold up my hand to stop her. I really want to say sure you can have the room, but only if you get dinner with me, but that’s dickish. Or, hey how about we discuss this over a drink at some hipster restaurant in the neighborhood? But none of those things come out because I’m kind of a chicken shit and Piper is too close to her birthing date to piss off. I realize how lame these excuses are and how I’m merely fighting a losing battle.
“I tell you what, how does Saturday afternoon look? You could even come by Friday night to do the decorations if you want. I don’t know how these baby things go.” Now that was slightly manipulative I admit. None of my friends are having kids yet and most of the guys at the gym are too busy bench pressing to be dating, present company included.
“That would be perfect. We were going to have it at her parent’s house, but Johanna just got a shipment of pottery from their parents travelling.”
“How much pottery are we talking about?” Pip’s parents were notorious for buying all kinds of kitschy shit during their travels so this didn’t surprise me. Case in point, the large abstract paintings in black and gold hanging up in our office. A little housewarming new business gift from their mother. All I know is that it was equally as ugly as it was expensive and Pip forced me to hang it up to shut them up. At least the colors match the gym’s branding and it’s out of sight in the office.
“I didn’t want to ask.” Diana shook her head and I agreed with her. It was probably best to not ask.
“Milo thinks that Piper will catch on if it’s at their house and so this seemed like the only alternative I could think of without dragging her downtown. My place is too small and there’s no good parking on the street.” She rambles.
“Hey, no worries. We got it figured out.” My hands trail down her arms to gather holding her hands. I’m in deep trouble. Deep ass trouble. I look down into her baby blues meeting mine. Kissing her is out of the question, but I won’t deny I’m thinking of it. That’s what comes from harboring a crush for more years than I want to count. The urge to do something is a powerful force I have to tamp down.
But I don’t, because fuck it.
“Do you want to maybe, go and get–” But I don’t get to finish my sentence because my least favorite employee right now pops his shiny bald ass head inside the door.
“Boss, the credit card machine is eating tape again.”
I glance in his direction growling, “A minute Igor.”
He looks between us, pauses and then gives me a curt nod before leaving. I glance at the popcorn tiles of the ceiling saying a little prayer. Damn it.
“So I was thinking since you’ll be here Friday night…” I didn’t know that, but I hoped. I forge on prepared to throw it out there and ask her out when her phone rings practically vibrating between us. She pulls her hands back almost snatching them out of my pathetic grasp to reach for her phone.
She puts her finger up effectively shutting me up. “I’m so sorry, one second. It’s my daughter’s school.” I watch her listen to the voice on the other end nodding. Something about show and tell, but obviously not the semi-pervy kind I’m thinking about when I glance down at her heels and stockings.
I contemplate a third try when she pockets her phone and mumbles about driving across town and being late for work.
Diana’s throat bobs and she swallows her words before speaking. “You’re the best, Jaxon.”
I only wish that were true.
Dionne Warwick channels me when I say, “That’s what friends are for.” Unfortunately for me, Diana will probably keep smiling and shining elsewhere as far as I was concerned.
“I’ll see you then.” She leans up on her tip toes surprising me and pecks me on the cheek before I can move or contemplate what’s going on. What the fuck is that about?
I wince when I repeat, “You can count on me.” She leaves and I’m left muttering to myself, “for sure.”
I may not shower for the rest of the week when I touch my face.
Three
Diana
I sprint to my desk to reach the phone that’s ringing loudly and echoing in the office. I dropped Maisy off at preschool, asked Jax for his yoga room to hold a baby shower, raced home because she forgot her show and tell on the kitchen counter after I forgot to put it in her backpack, I’m beat.
I stop for a second replaying my conversation with Jax. Did I actually kiss him on the cheek? My fingers touch my lips that suddenly tingle and make me smile. Holy shit, I freaking kissed Jax. At this rate, I was going to be paying for Maisy’s college with the curse words in my head. I blamed the stress and sleep deprivation. I did not do those things. Except I did and now I’m embarrassed with what he must be thinking.
Jaxon Holden is a behemoth of a man who leaves the rest to shame themselves. He’s attractive in the way that leaves a woman fantasizing and exhausted. Thank god for Maisy to keep me focused and her school being located twenty minutes out of the way forcing me to hurry to make it on time.
The phone keeps ringing and thoughts about Jax and baby showers go on the backburner for now. Calling Johanna is for later. I don’t check the caller ID knowing I have two clients waiting on call backs and a list of items to get Natalie before the day is over. I answer before I even sit down. “Hello, this is Harvey Croix Law Firm and Associates, Diana speaking.”
“I want to see her.” The voice on the end of the phone sends a chill up my spine and I drop my purse to the carpeted floor as I sink into my chair feeling utterly defeated. I close my eyes to cut out the peripheral sights and sounds focusing my breathing and the clamping ache in my chest from the rising panic. I hadn’t heard from Allen in months. The last time, I called begging him to help pay for one of Maisy’s treatments I could barely afford. He was behind on child support payments and I was getting ready to file a motion in the court or walk away altogether to save myself the hassle. He said no unless I was going to let him stay at the house. I said no and he declined my calls since then.
“What do you want?” Gripping the phone I squeeze my eyes shut wishing he would go away. Asking him how he got this number is pointless.
“I want to see my daughter.” He’s cold and uncaring. Nothing’s changed.
“You can’t Allen.”
The main receptionist, Joelle stares at me from her desk as if to chastise me about personal phone calls at work. I turn my back from the main office and hiss into the phone. Screw her, I’d been here a few years now, surely as a paralegal I had some seniority and the one time I pick up Allen’s call is none of her business.
“I could take you to court.” He could do that but the lady from the law center said I had a good case to keep him away permanently. His refusal to pay child support because he was working under the table and not keeping consistent visitation were enough to make a case for sole custod
y after two years of his nonsense.
I turn hoping Joelle gets up to go to the break room and stops giving me dirty that look as I whisper into the phone. “Allen, our daughter needs consistency. She doesn’t need to be confused.”
“Like you going out and dating men all the time?”
“What are you talking about?” I forget where I am yelling into the phone. Joelle clicks her pen loudly and if I had something to throw at her I would.
“I saw you. You were at the Pier 31 restaurant.” Yeah, I was there, for dinner with Piper and her husband Milo who happens to be Maisy’s doctor. He’d know that if he showed up as a father once in a while. It was strictly dinner and of course Allen had to make it something crazy which it wasn’t. Not that I was going to broadcast what I did when I got home alone in my shower at night thinking of Jax.
“I’m not dating men. I was having dinner with Piper and her husband. They invited a friend.” It wasn’t a lie. It was a truth somewhere in the middle. Besides, whatever I did was none of Allen’s business. He didn’t get to demand explanations from me anymore. He didn’t get to be the convenient father or ex-husband when it suited him.
“I better not catch you out with anyone.”
“Or what Allen? We’re divorced or have you forgotten that?”
“You’re still mine Diana. You’ll always be mine.”
“You’re crazy Allen. don’t call me here again.” I hang up the phone barely getting a breath when I look up and see Joelle standing in front of my desk.
“Natalie wants to see you.” She smirks and walks back to her desk. Part of me wishes she would trip in her too high heels and bring her reality back down to Earth.
“I’m sure she does.” I mutter under my breath getting up to knock on my boss’ door.
“Come in.” I stand at the threshold entering Natalie Croix’s office. My boss is the best, most understanding person I know besides Piper.
“What’s up Nat?” I sit down at her desk and look over Natalie’s perfect appearance despite being in court this morning.
“Well for starters I’m going to have you interview the next receptionist we hire around here.” She points her fountain pen at the door smiling.
I roll my eyes.
“That would be nice.”
“I’m sure Joelle will learn rather quickly to keep her opinions to herself.”
“She tattled didn’t she?” I groan with my hand gripping the door handle.
Natalie smiles, “I don’t care about the personal calls, but I am worried about you.” Natalie eyes me with a look that says she knows what’s going on.
I’ve tried so hard to be independent since my divorce. I had to be for Maisy despite how hard things got. And they got real hard.
“Hey, I’m here for you, Diana, you know that right? I’m not just your boss, I’m your friend.”
“I know. I appreciate that.”
Natalie leans back in her chair, “So tell me what’s going on.”
“Allen called.”
“I figured. What does he want? We can probably milk him for not paying child support and short changing you on the house.”
A chuckle escapes my lips because I know Natalie will fight for me. She’s amazing like that.
I look out the window that has a stellar view. We may not be on the top floor but the wide expanse of windows highlight the harbor. Sighing, I tell her, “I want him to go away.”
“Has he threatened you again?”
I debate lying, but Natalie will know. “No more than usual.”
“What’s his angle?”
“He wants to see Maisy.” Natalie nods and I continue explaining, “I said no.”
“Why? After all this time? He doesn’t even abide by the agreement that’s currently in place.”
“I know. He doesn’t call at the scheduled time either. We last spoke a few months ago when I asked him to help pay for the outstanding treatment costs. He refused so I let it go figuring no contact was better than the hassle of dealing with him.”
Natalie bites her pen. I’m grateful she hasn’t asked how I managed to pay it. I’m practically drowning under the second mortgage right now that feels like pocket change instead of a looming boulder when I know my daughter is healthy and happy.
“And now out of the blue he’s calling your work number.”
“Right.”
“I don’t like this, Di. We need to monitor this and make a motion with the court to revisit the agreement he hasn’t followed to date.”
“Are you sure? I mean what if he changed his mind. What if he wants that time back?”
“He can’t demand retroactive visitation. You haven’t done anything wrong. He never visited her in the hospital, and he certainly hasn’t followed the Wednesday nights and Sundays for visitation which he is currently allowed. He’s virtually a stranger to Maisy now.”
“My poor baby.”
“Yes, but I’m worried about you.”
“I can take more work home if I need to.”
“Diana, this isn’t about your work performance at all. Forget about briefs and paperwork, this is about Allen trying to jump back into the picture and I’m worried about my friend.”
My face heats up thinking about the situation. Natalie has been wonderful, the best, and here I am dumping my problems at her door all over again.
“I’ll be okay.” I stand up ready to forget this whole day from the start and have a do-over.
“You sure?” She deadpans me.
“Yes, boss. Let me get back out there before reception starts packing up my desk for insubordination.”
Natalie laughs, “I’d like to see her try. She’d have to get through me first.”
“Thank you.”
Natalie gives me a stern look. “I mean it. You tell me if he escalates his behavior and the motion is filed in a heartbeat.”
I nod and make my way back to my desk and my pile of paperwork to tackle. Joelle sits up front as I see her slide her phone back into her purse. She’s a hypocrite and a witch.
I’m looking forward to picking up Maisy, making dinner and heading to bed early. I wouldn’t trade this life with her for anything. My cellphone buzzes with a text message and a pit of dread settles in my stomach.
Piper: Hello best friend in the world! Just a friendly reminder about your date tonight!
“Shit!” I screech earning another scathing look from Joelle. This is the last thing I want to do.
Me: Piper… I’ve got to handle this brief for Nat.
Not a complete lie, my pile of paperwork does look daunting.
Piper: Too bad. I’ll text Natalie and let her know. BTW I’ve already dropped off the dress. It’s hanging on you bathroom door. And Milo is leaving early to pick up Maisy for their ice cream date. He’s soooo excited.
Well hell. I couldn’t ruin the night for Maisy and I was so grateful to Milo. Resigned, I text her back.
Me: Looking forward to meeting him!
If only that were true, I would have much rather had dinner with Jax, but that was never going to happen because I didn’t have the guts to cross that line or Piper. Besides, he could have any woman he wants that comes with less baggage than the storage container of drama that chased me.
Four
Jax
Piper marches in a waddling pace back and forth in the weight room chewing her lip. Her energy turns up the temperature in here by at least ten degrees. I wipe my hands on a towel; take a deep breath, and lean back to press the barbell up over my chest. My spotter, a young kid named Sam stands back for a second.
“It was the date from Hell. Can you believe that cheap asshole?” Her hands wave in the air and poor Sam ducks out of her way. “He doesn’t even take her somewhere nice and I let her borrow my rose gold silk dress which honestly looks better on her than me because she’s got gorgeous boobs.” I shut my eyes trying to block the unhelpful image as I push the bar up and down.
“Pip.” I grunt but she doesn’t stop.
/>
“Cheap fucker!” Piper keeps up her ramble a mile a minute grabbing one of the towels I had yet to use. It’s hard to keep up with her on a normal day.
“Sam can you go check the towels up front.” He scurries away on my bullshit task escaping Piper’s wrath. Kid is lucky I like him.
My gut burns with jealous rage thinking about the one I can’t have. The one I’m under threat of dismemberment to even fantasize about when I’m home alone on a Thursday night. Too bad Game of Thrones isn’t on. I could use the distraction and the violence to work out my angst over this.
“Jax, you have to do me this one solid. Train her. Make her kick ass next time.” Next time. Piper resumes her frantic pace while rubbing her back. I didn’t want to think about her going out with some guy, any guy next time.
“Make her kick ass, huh?” I catch my breath following the conversation.
I wasn’t supposed to fall for Diana Valentine. Too bad that happened a long time ago. The only reason I left her alone was because a guard dog in the form of a brunette Chihuahua named Piper Jane Scott was standing in my way. Now that she’s married to Dr. Milo Lazare she’s been on a mission to marry her sweet friend off, to anyone but me.
I pretend to misunderstand Piper so maybe I’ll get more of the story. “So tell me more about why I’m supposed to be training her.” I do another set of bench presses and Igor comes over to spot me. My shoulders and pecks burn as I set the bar into the rack on the last set. Igor nods knowing I’m done here and goes to help a newbie on the other side of the gym leaving me to verbally spar with my best friend.
“Because she’s dating jerks.”
Let’s just say I was not in favor of this idea one bit. Don’t muddy the waters. Don’t shit where you swim. Don’t cross the streams. Every time I strayed, I got the side eye from Pip telling me not to want Diana or look at her and each time my eyes wandered further and further under her spell.
