by David Hare
Amy Stubborn.
Frank Yes.
Amy I was expecting the walls to be stripped.
Frank Not yet.
Amy Has she sold any paintings?
Frank I’m not even sure she would if she could.
He grimaces slightly.
Your father isn’t collected. Except by people who loved and remember the man. And now even they are all turning seventy.
Amy Yes. I suppose.
Frank Bernard’s almost completely forgotten. Except by one or two students. One of them came here, said, ‘I’m not really interested, if you want to know the truth. But Bernard Thomas is perfect for a thesis. He’s just the right degree of obscure.’
He smiles wryly, but she doesn’t respond.
I wonder … can I get you anything?
She shakes her head.
Did your mother know you’d be here?
Amy No.
Frank I must say … she didn’t mention it …
Amy We haven’t spoken for a while.
He waits a moment.
Frank It’s funny. In some way she’s carefree. After such a disaster. I know it’s perverse. But in some way it’s made her much happier.
Amy Yes, I can see that.
Frank A burden’s been lifted.
Amy frowns at him, concentrating now.
Amy You’ve been with her a lot?
Frank Well, I do have a pair of pyjamas. There’s a pair I keep in this house.
Amy But where are they?
Frank Oh, sadly they’re in the guest room. But, remember, the guest room is not far from Esme’s.
Amy I see.
Frank She wakes in the night, to be honest. Her dreams are very intense. I sit by the bed till she sleeps.
Amy She’s always alone?
Frank does not answer.
Frank I think you know what I feel for her, Amy. I can’t help it, I’ve felt the same way for years. Perhaps even before my wife died. People say to me, ‘You’re crazy, you can’t go on doing this. You’ve waited such a long time.’ I say, ‘And I’ll wait longer.’
Amy Yes.
Amy looks beyond him to Evelyn.
And Evelyn?
Frank Oh, Evelyn. Does she hear? She no longer speaks. The fretting is over.
Amy passes a hand right in front of Evelyn’s face but there is no reaction.
You can never tell. Has she accepted her fate?
Esme appears, stopping at once at the sight of Amy. Now in her early sixties, she is carrying a bundle of envelopes.
Esme Well, Amy, good gracious.
She has spoken quietly, and Amy turns in surprise.
Amy Mum. I didn’t hear you.
Esme Oh no? I’m afraid I did take a taxi. I know I shouldn’t, but I thought what the hell? Frank doesn’t like it.
Neither of the women know what to do. They stand a moment, lost.
Amy Are you all right?
Esme Yes. I’m exhausted. It’s been a tough day. Why haven’t you called me?
Amy Oh …
Esme makes a useless gesture with her hand, and the dam bursts. She moves and embraces Amy, weeping.
Esme Oh my God, Amy. Amy, how I’ve missed you, my darling …
Amy I know.
Esme It’s been so awful. No, really …
Amy Oh Mum …
Esme is crying, overwhelmed and running her hands through Amy’s hair.
Esme Really, no really, I’m fine …
Amy Oh Mother …
Esme is deliberately pulling herself away to try and recover from her outburst.
Esme Honestly it’s … oh, it’s … oh it’s so silly, forgive me, I can’t even speak.
Amy Don’t worry.
Amy holds her mother’s head in her hands a moment and looks into her eyes.
Don’t worry!
Esme It’s also …
Amy Go on.
Esme What does it matter? You’re here.
Impulsively she hugs her daughter again.
Amy It’s all right. Go on, say …
Esme Oh Lord, I know I sound selfish …
Amy You don’t …
Esme But, the fact is, the truth is: I have had one hell of a day.
They both laugh at the absurdity, and Esme moves away to recover from the emotion.
Amy Well, I’m sure.
Esme I can’t tell you, we had this patient …
Amy What patient?
Esme Oh, you know …
Frank Do you want a drink?
She waves a hand in dismissal.
Esme An old man of seventy. It was awful. He needed a new aorta.
Amy An aorta?
Esme Yes. There’s no question, if we hadn’t done it, he would have died.
Amy Well …
Frank Sit down.
Esme You’ve probably heard, there’s this new operation …
Amy No. No, of course not. How could I have heard?
Esme You take a valve from a pig …
Amy A pig?
Esme You extract it, you keep it in ice. You take this little rounded ring of pig’s muscle …
Frank It’s true.
Esme And you sew it into the heart of the patient. It serves to replace the patient’s own valve …
Amy I see.
Esme No, really it’s almost standard procedure. But the point is, you’re working very intensely – well, you can imagine – you’re at this very high pitch …
Amy Sure.
Esme There’s blood everywhere, great thick pools of it …
Amy My God!
Esme Crimson! Then there’s the lasers, the burning … the flesh being cut …
She shakes her head.
I turn round, I’m passing the scalpel, I look down at this hand next to mine. This little nurse has actually got a ring on her finger. And what’s more she’s wearing this awful clunky paste bangle …
Frank looks nervously at Amy, as if fearing where this story is going.
I simply think: no, I cannot believe this. I’m sorry. No, really!
Frank I can imagine …
Esme And the fact is …
She pauses for a moment.
Well, I’m afraid I just go.
Amy Go?
Esme Yes, what I mean is, I started to shout at her. I was shouting! Amy, I do know it’s wrong. But it’s so unhygienic. What, I’m meant to say nothing?
Frank This isn’t the first time …
Esme I say, ‘What the hell’s going on?’
Frank smiles uneasily at Amy.
Frank What does she say?
Esme I say, ‘This is serious.’ This nurse, she’s just so weedy, she’s like this weedy little thing. I’ve never even seen her before. I say, ‘For Christ’s sake it’s a major operation. The cameras see everything.’ She just stands there. She looks at me like I’m going mad.
Frank Well, I’m sure.
Esme So now the whole studio’s stopping. The director – oh, he’s coming down from on high! This little idiot starts sulking. She says, ‘Oh come on, it’s only TV.’
Esme pauses, furious.
Well …
Frank My God!
Esme No, I’m sorry, but to me that’s unforgivable. You can say anything but you must never say that.
Frank smiles again at Amy.
Frank This has happened before.
Esme ‘If we do it, we make it authentic, or else let’s not do it at all …’ Well, it’s true! That’s the whole principle. Do it properly! You have to ask yourself, ‘Is it real or is it not?’
Amy frowns, not able to answer.
Anyway, by now – oh, bloody chaos! The surgeon’s dropped the scalpel in this awful prop pool of blood. The patient’s sitting up on the table, he says, ‘I’m sorry to ask this, but do I get a new aorta or not?’
Frank That’s funny.
Esme People are gathering. They’re saying, ‘Look, we know you’ve been under great strain.’ I’m screaming, ‘It’s no
t me, for Christ’s sake. Why are you getting at me? It’s that little tart with her sugar daddy’s jewellery, she’s the one who’s destroying the show …’
She has suddenly become quite vicious.
Frank (to Amy) What about you? Will you have a drink?
Esme Apart from anything, just think of my character …
Frank Nurse Banstead …
Esme From her point of view – well think of it, you’ve seen the show …
Amy looks non-committal.
It’s obvious. She’s called a disciplinarian. You could say. Or you could say she’s just one tough bloody bitch.
Frank Oh she is!
Esme Whichever. Do you really think she’d permit it? It’s inconceivable! It’s just unprofessional. I’m sorry, forget it, but that’s what I think.
Frank seems nervous of his next question.
Frank But …
Esme But what?
Frank You did resume shooting?
Esme What? Well after an hour or two, sure. We had to get a new valve.
She looks angrily at Frank.
Oh Frank, please, I do know what you’re asking. I’m not stupid! The only thing that concerns him …
Frank Well …
Esme Will I get thrown off the show?
Amy is frowning, not really understanding what’s going on between them.
With Frank it’s all about money, there’s nothing but money. Every night he tells me, ‘You must hold on to this job …’
Frank Well, you must!
Esme ‘For your own sake,’ he says, ‘just keep your head down …’ That’s Frank! Anything rather than let me speak out!
Frank turns to Amy silently to ask what choice he has.
And I say, ‘What? I’m just meant to endure these conditions? When the theatre is filthy? When people’s lives are at risk?’
Frank Esme …
Esme I’m meant to say nothing? When basic medical procedure is flouted in front of my eyes? I’m sorry, I don’t care, I’m not going to do it. I do have a conscience! There are times when it’s simply too much.
Frank Of course.
Esme has picked up the envelopes she has earlier put down on the table.
Esme He never lets me forget the white envelopes …
She makes a fist of them in her hand.
Oh, I’m not opening them. I’m going to talk to my daughter instead.
Frank Do you want me to do it?
Esme No. They’re my bloody envelopes. Thank you. I’ll open these bastards myself.
Frank stands rebuked.
It’s the post … the post is so frightening. I try to leave it until I get back. So that way …
Frank It makes no difference.
Esme I don’t go to work in the morning …
Amy I can imagine …
Esme Simply not able to think.
Frank is enjoying this.
Frank She used to put them under the cushions …
Esme Oh really!
Frank It’s true. I’d go round in the day, just feeling all the cracks in sofas to see if I’d come across more!
Esme All right, but it isn’t actually as stupid as you think it is. You get the same letters again and again. So for God’s sake …
She suddenly gives up.
Oh, stuff it! I actually don’t want to discuss it. Not tonight. Can we please not discuss it? I haven’t seen Amy for months.
Amy No.
Frank looks between them.
Frank Perhaps I should go. I’ll make you both cocoa. Esme always has a cup before bed.
Esme That’s great. Yes, will you?
She waves a hand ironically.
My domestic servant.
Frank If it was meant as a joke, then perhaps I would laugh.
He goes out closing the door.
Esme Oh really!
Amy He’s funny. He is so devoted.
Esme Yes. I’m afraid he is desperate to marry me though. What’s worse, it’s getting more urgent. If I don’t do it, he says he’s going to give up.
Amy But he just told me the opposite …
Esme Did he?
Amy He told me he’d wait for you.
Esme Oh, I wish it were true. In fact there’s a deadline. Yes, by Christmas.
Amy And what will you do?
Esme Oh, Christmas! I can’t even see beyond Wednesday. I don’t know. One day I’m afraid I may have to give in. I’ll get into his Ford Granada. Drive cross country. Do it in some county town with nobody there. Spend the honeymoon in one of those phoney ivy-clad riverside hotels.
She gets a cigarette, suddenly exasperated.
How did it happen? I never foresaw this! Never!
Amy is unimpressed by the theatricality of her complaint.
Amy Oh come on, it isn’t that bad.
Esme Isn’t it?
Amy Of course not.
Esme I’m sorry. You’re right.
She has suddenly conceded, and now she looks tearfully at Amy, not able to believe that she is back in the house.
I see you there, Amy, and for the first time ever I am feeling nervous …
Amy Mum …
Esme I mean, I’m nervous, but I’m also relieved.
The tension is resolved. Esme speaks more gently.
I’ve missed you …
Amy Me too.
Esme I’ve missed you so terribly. How long is it? It must be over six months. I keep reading in the papers about all your problems. And I’ve so longed to be able to talk. The whole thing’s left me feeling so helpless.
Amy Yes, I’ve felt pretty helpless myself.
Amy manages a brave grin but her eyes are beginning to fill with tears.
I suppose you could say I’ve behaved like a coward. I couldn’t help it. I went into my shell.
Esme Yes.
Amy It never lets up. Never. In fact, throughout it, I’ve not talked to anyone. I’ve just stayed with the children.
Esme How are they?
Amy The children are fine.
Amy waves a hand impatiently.
Oh we just hide all the papers. We hope the other kids say nothing at school.
Esme She’s some sort of Swedish film star?
Amy Yes.
Esme I’m afraid I’d never heard of her.
Amy You’re in a minority of one. That’s why the media has been so enthused. We’ve had them on the doorstep with cameras.
Esme Is it possible? She is really Swedish?
Amy I think so.
Esme Swedish!
She looks away in disgust.
How low can you get?
Amy She has this throaty sort of gurgle. A tan and tons of blonde hair.
Esme You’ve met her?
Amy (nods) She’s kind of a brainless Heidi. This big open grin. A lot of ‘Why can’t we be friends?’
Esme Please!
Amy ‘Why can’t we be friends? Because you’re sleeping with my husband. I think that’s one thing that might just get in the way.’ I don’t buy her dewy-eyed innocence.
Esme How could you?
Amy Oh, but she does have quite a good act.
Amy looks at Esme a moment.
But what’s worst is that Dominic’s bewildered. He’s guilty.
Esme I’m sure he is.
Amy No. Truly. It’s much, much worse than you’d think. Because he’s lost. It’s true. It’s like he’s spun off his axis. Most of the time, he acts like he’s crazy. What’s sad is, he doesn’t even know what he wants. Things had been so much better. I promise. Since our wedding, it was odd, for the first time we were almost at peace. Deciding to marry … it helped to resolve things. And then this woman came out of the blue.
Esme is watching her, quiet, respectful.
Also he’s now this media monolith. Music. And chat shows. And videos. So he sets out at dawn and escapes to his work.
Esme Is he living in the house?
Amy Oh sure, yes, we’re living together. ‘For
the sake of the children.’ Is that what they say? Not that it makes any difference. I never see him. Unless I walk by a telly. I can watch him on telly, if I so choose.
Amy is in agony, paler than ever.
I’m trying, but it’s hard to stay steady. In any relationship you get cast in a role.
Esme I understand.
Amy Yes, I’ve played the strong one. And after a while that starts taking its toll.
Esme is about to reply. Amy interrupts, as if she doesn’t want to hear.
Esme Well …
Amy And meanwhile you and I were no longer speaking …
Esme Darling, whose fault is that?
Amy And then I got wind of what’s happening to you …
Esme (dismissively) Oh …
Amy I spoke to some people I know. The word is you’re now in serious trouble. Well, tell me!
Esme Oh sure, but mine’s only money, that’s all.
She smiles blithely at Amy.
Amy Debts?
Esme Yes of course.
Amy And are they substantial?
Esme I’ve really lost track of them …
Amy Mum …
Esme They change all the time.
Amy looks at her, not letting her off.
The last time I opened one of those envelopes, then, yes, it was quite a large sum.
Amy How much?
But Esme has already got up and is heading for the discarded envelopes.
Esme Hold on, now where are my glasses? Let’s look at this one which just came today. Look, yes, it’s not so unusual.
She is holding the letter from the envelope some way from her glasses.
It seems to be round about five.
Amy Five? Five what?
Esme Five hundred thousand.
Amy Mum …
Esme Five hundred thousand – or so. There are lots of smaller figures as well. Not exactly five hundred thousand. Something a little more jagged than that.
She is peering in a rather actressy way which plainly irritates Amy.
Or perhaps it’s a six. It’s all academic. It isn’t the largest I’ve had. One morning, I simply couldn’t believe it. I looked at it. It was eight! It was over eight hundred thousand. I thought this is just like being poked in the eye.
Amy Why are you laughing?
Esme My dear, what else can I do? The whole thing is just so totally … well, it’s an out-of-body experience. What is the point of pretending it’s real?
Amy But it is real.
Esme Yes. But – sorry – I simply don’t have it. So what on earth do they want me to do?
Frank comes in triumphantly with a tray of hot drinks and biscuits.
