by Renee Rose
I still had my doubts, even after everything he’d said on the phone about love at first sight, but I was willing to explore this insane and apparently mutual attraction a little further. It seemed I was a glutton for punishment. And orgasms.
He flicked his gaze my way and grinned. “I’m taking you to one of Cooper Valley’s best kept secrets. One of nature’s most beautiful features that you won’t find in any guide book.”
“And we need the butt plug for that?”
When Boyd picked me up, he’d insisted I bring the party favors. Lube, condoms, vibrating butt plug. When I’d stared at him by the front door, he’d stormed past, into my bedroom and found my bedside drawer that had them. I was eager and apprehensive to think about what we’d do with them. I knew the plug would go in my butt—I didn’t think Boyd was game for the other way around—and I vividly remembered his intentions. That made me squirm on his leather seat.
The corner of his mouth tipped up as if he’d caught me. “Well, I brought some blankets in case we wanted to pick up where we left off last night.” He tossed one of those Boyd Wolf signature winks my way, and my panties got damp. Blankets meant not in a bed. He was planning on plugging my ass and fucking me outside?
Yes, I did want to pick up where we left off last night. In fact, I’d struggled to think of anything else since.
That wasn’t true. I’d thought a lot about the phone sex, but I’d also thought about earlier at the bar. How quickly Boyd went with it when I suddenly one-eightied on him and pretended he was my boyfriend. The sweet way he got me on that mechanical bull. How he’d been concerned about me getting enough sleep before I had to work. How he’d followed me home.
I’d underestimated Boyd. Grossly. And I may have underestimated his sexual fantasies. I wasn’t a virgin, but could I keep up with a guy like Boyd? My pussy told me it wanted to try.
A pang of guilt settled in my chest. Here I’d thought him shallow, a quick lay, when in fact, I’d been pigeon-holing him. He was the real deal. A protective, thoughtful guy in a crazy-hot cowboy package. Who wanted to play with me using a butt plug. As Marina had said, go for it.
I couldn’t freaking wait.
“Did you always want to be a doctor?” he asked, completely changing the subject. He glanced my way, then flicked on his blinker and turned down a side road. We’d cut through the canyon and were about a mile from Wolf Ranch. The turn meant we weren’t heading there, though.
“Pretty much. My mom was… well, sickly.”
“Bad heart or something?”
In a way, it was true. “That’s what they called it back then. Sickly. In medical terms, she was clinically depressed. She’d sleep a lot although she worked two jobs, so she was tired all the time. She didn’t have hobbies or socialize. Sometimes she’d forget to eat, and I’d have to find food and cook for us both.”
I saw his fingers tighten on the steering wheel.
“Didn’t your dad help?”
I bit my lip, stared out the side window. “I never knew my dad. At least not when I was a kid. My mom got pregnant when she was eighteen and told me she never knew his name.”
It made no sense now. I was thirty, her age when I’d been twelve. I remember being twelve, and her answer about my father had confused me. I’d known the basics about sex at the time and could never understand how she didn’t know who my dad was.
“She killed herself when I was in college. Looking back, I think my dad screwed her over, or she thought he did. Maybe it was a quick fling or a teenaged one-night stand. Whatever it was, it didn’t have the outcome she’d expected. People who have mental illness can often have some kind of snap, and I think that happened when she got pregnant with me. It’s possible, or most likely, her sick mind distorted what really happened over time.”
He slowed the truck and pulled over to the side of the road. It was a dirt backroad, and no one else was around. I turned to look at him as he shifted to face me, his forearm resting on the steering wheel. “You can’t believe it was your fault. Her death.”
I shook my head. “No, not at all. I just never knew her when she wasn’t depressed.”
“Obviously, you went to college, then medical school.”
I licked my lips and couldn’t look away from his piercing eyes. He wanted to know this, not only the good stuff, the fun stuff like butt plugs and phone sex, but the messy stuff like my family life.
“Being at home wasn’t all that great. Don’t get me wrong, I had friends and sleepovers and prom and stuff, but I pretty much hunkered down in my room. Studying was easy. I could get lost in it. I knew it was my way out. I got a full ride for undergrad, and I got loans for med school. That’s why I filled in at the arena. Extra cash pays off med school faster.”
“Why didn’t you go into mental health?”
I huffed out a laugh. “I grew up in it. Knew it wasn’t for me. Babies. That was my focus all along. If you analyzed me, you’d say I’m seeking to make a family because it was absent from my childhood.”
His gaze raked over me before he spoke. “There’s no shame in wanting a family. In wanting babies. Children. Homework. Sticky stuff on the floor you have no idea what it is. A tire swing. Children who know they’re loved.”
My chest ached with the desire for everything he said. I did want all of that, as if he’d made a checklist of things I envisioned my family being like. It sounded as if he knew what that was like.
“Is that how it was for you? Two parents you knew loved you? A tire swing?”
“Yeah, I had all that. Until I was twelve. I was lucky. I have Rob and Colton. You didn’t have any siblings to grow up with. To fight and bicker with. Annoy.”
I raised my hand, waved it in the air. “Actually, I have a half sister. Marina. She’s twenty-one. I only learned she existed two years ago. She did the DNA testing and found we were a match.”
“She’s not your mom’s.”
Shaking my head, I continued. “No, my dad. He was young, nineteen, when he had sex with my mom. He never knew about me. He married at twenty-eight and had Marina with his wife.”
“He didn’t tell you what happened?”
I pushed my glasses up my nose. “I don’t want to know. Would you want to know about how you were conceived?”
He looked horrified. “I see your point.”
“I’m not close with him. I’ve met him. I look like him. They live in southern California. I did my residency in Chicago. Our paths don’t cross.”
“But your sister?”
I couldn’t help but smile when thinking of Marina. “She’s great. Sweet. Definitely a little wilder than I am. We talk all the time. She’s in college for engineering. I’m… I’m glad I have her.”
He eyed me for a moment, then gave me a nod and put the truck in gear and back on our way.
We were quiet for a minute. “Boyd…” I bit my lip, knowing that I was asking a question that might upset him. “Um… what happened when you were twelve?”
He cleared his throat, clenched the steering wheel. “I guess it’s best you find out now. I’ve been clear from the start how much I want you. It’s pretty obvious I’m just a dumb jock, that you’re way outta my league. I was hoping maybe you could look past that, but this might change your mind about me.”
I frowned, felt apprehension and worry lodge in my belly.
“When I was twelve, I killed my parents.”
17
AUDREY
I stared at him as he turned onto a narrow road. I wondered if it was someone’s property or a service access for the National Forest. Either way, there was no one around for miles. His words had stunned me into silence and made me think all kinds of things. Murder? Had he run over them with a tractor?
“What do you mean you killed your parents?” I finally asked. With my window open, the breeze caught on my hair, and I tucked it back behind my ear.
He didn’t look my way, just stayed quiet and focused on the rutted road.
“Boyd,”
I prompted, setting my hand on his thigh. The muscle clenched beneath my fingers, and I tried to move my hand away, but he grabbed it, pressed it back in place. He didn’t let go.
“I’m not talking about this in the truck. They’ve been gone for a long time. It won’t change in the next few minutes.”
That was true, so I gave him the room he seemed to really want and stayed silent. Within five minutes, he pulled over and parked. Where he stopped looked like where we’d been since we turned off the main road and the next half mile in front of us. We were close to the mountains, but still in the rolling grassland. Pines dotted the craggy rocks in the distance, but it was a golden grassy carpet that surrounded us.
“We’re here. Come on.”
He opened his door and hopped down. I watched as he came around the front in my direction. I got out, and he pushed my door shut behind me. With his big hand, he stroked my hair. “I’ll tell you now because I want to leave it here by the truck. I want our time at the spot to be special, not tainted with what I did.”
I licked my lips, suddenly nervous. If I’d read him wrong all along, I was out in the middle of nowhere. “Please don’t tell me you’re an ax murderer or serial killer or something.”
One pale brow winged up.
“My parents were killed in a car accident. A rock slide washed our truck off the road. They were killed instantly. I survived in the back seat.”
My heart ached for him trying to imagine what it had been like to survive something like that. I blinked back the instant tears.
“Then why—”
“I’m not like my brothers. I wasn’t then, and I’m not now. I wanted off the ranch and to hang with my friends at the fair.” He told me about a barfing contest and how he’d been late for the agreed upon pick up time. “If I’d shown up when I was supposed to, we’d have been ahead of the storm.”
I set my hand on his arm, squeezed. His muscle was like a rock without any give. So strong, but yet he revealed how fragile he was. How damaged.
“Boyd, it’s not your fault.”
“I’d been too eager to see Bobby Sweetin hurl.”
“You were twelve. That’s what boys that age like to do. They’re gross and a little selfish.”
“Not every middle schooler has their selfish actions kill their parents,” he countered.
“The rock slide killed them. When you finally showed up, were they mad?”
He looked into the distance, as if not seeing the mountains, but into the past. “No. They were standing by the front of the car talking with friends of theirs.”
“So they were fine staying at the fair longer. Maybe if you’d shown up on time, they’d have remained and chatted anyway.”
Frowning, he remained quiet.
“You’ll have to tell me about them sometime. They’d be proud of you, knowing all you’ve accomplished. They’d be honored that you cared for them so much you took on this burden of their deaths. But they wouldn’t want you to carry that.”
His gaze dropped to mine.
“Would they?” I asked.
He hesitated, then shook his head. There was nothing more to say about the topic for now. He’d been living with it for so long, he’d need to think. To process.
“Where’s this special spot you were telling me about?”
Relief washed over his face. His muscles relaxed, and the corner of his mouth tipped up. “I’ll grab the blankets and the food from the back. You grab those toys of yours.”
Just like that, the easygoing Boyd was back. But I’d seen a side of him he probably hadn’t even shown his brothers. That meant things were deep. Real deep.
I opened the cab door and leaned in, grabbed the plug and lube he’d pulled from my bedside drawer. Speaking of deep. I clenched my bottom in anticipation of what was to come.
BOYD
After grabbing the blanket and basket, I raised the tailgate back into place. Talking about my parents stirred shit up. Anger. Shame. Guilt. It never went away, but after all this time, I’d gotten pretty damned good at pushing it down and covering it up with wit and cockiness. Unfortunately, Audrey had seen right through all of that from the very beginning.
It’s not your fault.
She’d said exactly what I thought was a lie. She’d also put doubt in my mind. Had I been living with the guilt of a twelve-year-old? Had I been seeing it from a kid’s perspective all this time? I’d waited for my rodeo buddies often enough. People showed up late for shit all the time. Yet no one had been killed in a car accident right after.
I’d forgotten that my parents had been talking with the Gundersons when I ran up to the car. Mom had wrapped an arm around me and squeezed me. Dad had ruffled my hair, and I’d climbed into the back to wait. They’d continued to talk for another five or ten minutes. I remembered now because I’d stuck my head out the window to tell them I had to pee, and I’d even run off to the restroom while they finished their conversation.
Shit, I’d forgotten all about that. I blinked, stared at the back of my truck. Yeah, I’d been late. But that wasn’t the only reason we’d ended up in the canyon when the storm came through. I’d have to think on it, about everything. I’d been so bent out of shape over it—and rightly so—but I wasn’t the only one with a fucked-up childhood. With bad stuff happening to them.
Audrey hadn’t had an easy time. Parents were supposed to take care of their kids, not the other way around. At least Mom and Dad had never once made me think I wasn’t loved or wanted. I’d been lucky, even though they’d died. I had a lot to think about.
But not now. The sun was shining. The spring-fed pool was just over the hill. And I had the best companion ever. My fucking mate. Soon enough, she’d also be my fucking mate.
I adjusted myself, went around the truck and halted in my tracks.
Audrey was leaning into the cab. Since she was so short, she was up on her toes and her ass stuck out.
Fuck. Me.
In her snug jeans and tank top, I couldn’t miss every inch of her curves. I’d had my hands on them the other day, knew the width of her hips as I held her in place for my tongue and fingers. My mouth watered with the need to get back there and taste her some more. It was her tits, small lush swells pressing against the pale blue stretchy fabric, that I hadn’t seen. Touched. Tasted. Licked. Sucked.
She dropped down to the soles of her feet.
“Hold it right there.”
She froze facing the interior of the truck but turned her head to look at me. Her eyes instantly widened, and I couldn’t miss the way her pupils dilated behind her glasses. I felt more wolf than human at the moment. Her scent caught the air, and I breathed it in. Sweetness, but also musk. Fuck, she was wet. Just as eager for me as I was for her. The last thing I’d said was for her to get the butt plug and lube, which meant—
I set the blankets over the side of the truck bed and placed the food basket on the ground.
“What?” she asked.
“I want to mark you.” My voice was deep. Rough. I was barely hanging on. Maybe it was the talk about my parents. Or her parents. Or the fact that we’d shared shit that I never told anyone. Rob didn’t know I blamed myself. I knew he blamed me, but I’d never outright said it was my fault. I’d never apologized to him for making him alpha when he wasn’t ready.
Something was different, though. Inside, I felt lighter. I wasn’t absolved, but Audrey hadn’t slapped me and jumped from the truck. She hadn’t rejected me. In fact, she’d told me I wasn’t to blame.
Someone liked me, wanted me, was staying with me even with all my fuck ups. Somehow, she’d seen every bit of my false bravado, the cockiness for what it was. She’d heard my darkest secrets, and she was dripping wet for me.
She was mine. Not just mine as in bend her over and fuck her. No, as in, I loved her. She was my other half. I didn’t give a shit if she was human. I couldn’t bite her, but I could mark her in other ways. My cum on her skin, dripping from her pussy. My scent on her so every wolf in the w
est knew she’d been claimed, that could come later. But right this second, I needed to see my mark on her.
I stepped up behind her within the open door, reached around and undid the front of her jeans, pushed them over her hips. She held still for me, almost shaking with anticipation. Her gorgeous ass was covered in red satin. Fuck, that was hot, and I’d get those off her later, but now I needed her ass bare. I needed all that creamy skin on display. So I could mark.
Hooking my fingers in her panties, I lowered them, so they and her jeans were bunched mid-thigh. I heard her ragged breathing, saw the frantic beat of her pulse at her neck.
“Boyd.” Her voice was almost a whisper, but I heard it as if she’d shouted.
My hand slid over her ass, caressed it. Cupped it. Squeezed it.
“Can you tell I’m an ass man?”
She laughed, but she was too aroused and stopped as soon as I lifted my hand and spanked her. Not too hard, but the crack resounded through the air.
She gasped, bucked, but held herself still, ready for more. Just as I’d thought. She liked it. The air around us practically crackled with sexual electricity. My dick punched against my jeans to get out. I slapped her ass again and watched as her flesh jiggled. Instantly, another handprint bloomed pink.
“Marked.” I spanked her again. Again. Switching sides, I lit up her skin. This wasn’t a punishment, and I kept things light, but she was no doubt feeling a hot ass right now. She wiggled her hips, thrust her hips out more.
Tapping the inside of one thigh, I nudged her feet apart, but she could only go so far with her jeans about her thighs. Still, the extra few inches put her pussy on display. She didn’t wax herself bare. Her labia had trimmed dark hair that only accentuated how pink her inner lips were. And wet. She was soaked.
