by M. S. Parker
My arms circled her, and I pulled her in tighter. How could she make something as unpleasant as worrying sound like a gift? What had I ever done to deserve her?
After all that, I couldn’t keep anything else from her. “Well, in that case, I’ve also been having a bit of blurred vision here and there.”
She fought against my arms to look up at me. “Seriously? Blurred vision and headaches?”
I couldn’t meet her eyes. “Yes.”
“Has this been going on since...you know?”
I nodded. “Unfortunately.”
“And would you say it has gotten better or worse?”
I chuckled. “Jeez, maybe you should have been a doctor instead of a journalist.”
She scowled.
“Okay, okay. Uh, worse I think. Though I figure maybe it’s just one of those things that gets worse before it gets better.”
Jinx took a heavy draw of breath, but I couldn’t tell if she was trying to keep from crying or from slapping me.
“Drew, will you please go get a CT scan?” Her pleading eyes were more than I could handle, reminding me that I had a hell of a time denying her anything.
“I don’t think that’s necessary.”
She gave me a hard look that made me realize she was definitely more suited to the tough sort of journalism she loved more than I’d given her credit for.
“Fine. Fine,” I ceded. “If it will ease your fears, I’ll do it.”
The smile that overtook her face was completely worth it. And the smile when she found out that there was nothing wrong with me would surely be even better. A little worry was one thing. I hated the thought of causing her even more simply because I was too stubborn to get a painless test done.
20
Jinx
“A fancy dinner in town?” Rhett asked, eyes flashing. “Ooh la la. Do I hear wedding bells?”
I smacked him on the arm. “It’s not like that. Drew and I have both been really busy. I think he just wanted for us to spend some time together outside of the house.”
Rhett snickered and took a sip of his Frappuccino. “Whatever you say, darlin’.”
The afternoon was unbelievably hot. Rhett barely seemed to notice, and he was all relaxation and nonchalance as we baked on the patio of his parent’s place. He still hadn’t found somewhere to live, but July wasn’t over yet, and he’d given himself until September.
As far as I could tell, all the injuries from his beating had healed up perfectly. The physical ones, at least. I kept waiting for him to lapse into silence or break down at a reminder of what happened, but he’d been consistently cheery through the ordeal. I wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or concerned.
“So just to clarify,” he drawled. “If that hunky piece of man meat did ask you to be his wife, you’d say no?”
“No!” I said before realizing how quickly and conclusively I’d answered. “Uh, I mean, I could see myself possibly being with Drew for the long haul. But we’ve only known each other for less than two months. Besides, we had a lot of things we needed to figure out long before tying the knot.”
“Such as?”
I pondered the question. Drew and I had fewer things between us every day. He was opening up to me a little more now, and I felt more assured in his desire to be with me. He’d never once acted like he wanted to go back to the way he had been, sleeping with random groupies whenever the urge struck. I supposed the only thing that still blocked our way was the different directions our careers were tugging us in. Working at the Gazette was all well and fine for now, but I couldn’t stay there forever. And I still had the second Boston Globe interview on the horizon too. Sort of.
The fact that I hadn’t told Drew about it nagged at me constantly, albeit quietly.
“Just our work, I guess.” I lifted a shoulder. “And both of us are pretty stubborn. I know I can’t live here for the rest of my life – no offense – but I don’t think Drew’s going to give up his dream in order to come to Boston with me. And I wouldn’t want to ask him to do it either.”
Rhett sighed dramatically. “A tragic, twisted affair.”
“Oh, shut up.” I grabbed one of the ice cubes out of my coffee and tossed it at him. He chuckled and smacked it away. Just like that, the serious talk was done.
As we got ready for dinner, I felt like there was something off about Drew. He’d gone for the CT a few days ago, and we still hadn’t heard anything back. While he hadn’t been too worried before I convinced him to get the scan, I had a feeling it pressed on him now more than he wanted to admit. And I hated that I couldn’t do anything about it.
The dinner wasn’t nearly as fancy as Rhett had intoned. We weren’t even going to Grantsboro’s nicest restaurant, which I supposed was the top rival for Capelli’s. Instead, we went to a quaint little family diner that Drew had turned me on to not long after moving there. The food was amazing, even if the atmosphere was more relaxed than romantic.
“Why do I feel like you’re buttering me up for something?” I asked after we took our seats at the table.
Drew’s eyebrows furrowed. “Because you’re a mad woman, and constantly suspicious of me?”
The tone was light. Too light.
“Drew...” My tone was not so light. It was a warning.
The waitress came around to take our drink orders, but as soon as she left, I made sure to steer us right back in the direction we’d been heading.
“Drew, what is it?” I asked. “You don’t have to buy me dinner just to tell me an unsavory piece of news.”
“Who said I was paying?”
The hint of a smile on his lips made my stomach clench, and not from anxiety. I still hadn’t gotten used to how incredibly handsome he was. Every once and a while, I’d catch a glimpse of him, and my heart would start doing a furious dance like I’d never seen a male of my species before.
Nonetheless, I cobbled together an unimpressed look and directed it his way.
He sighed. “You’re like a shark with the scent of blood when you get onto something, you know that?”
I didn’t love being compared to a fish, but at least he was giving in. Besides, for a journalist, I supposed it was actually a compliment. I reached over and grabbed his hand. His calloused fingers curled around mine.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s not a big deal,” Drew said. “I got the results of the scan.”
Not a big deal? What the hell did he think those words meant? That scan had been all I could think about for the past few days, and he knew that. I had an uncomfortable suspicion that him not telling me was indicative that I would find the results to be a very big deal indeed.
“And?”
Drew cleared his throat. “As it turns out, I’ve got a bit of an abnormal brain condition.”
My heart plummeted. It was like all the lights in the restaurant had blacked out, save for one hanging just above our heads. Nothing else even registered.
“What kind of abnormal brain condition?” I didn’t realize I’d begun squeezing his hand until he gently pried my fingers open, then raised my hand to his mouth and brushed his lips against my knuckles.
He was either trying to distract me or build up the courage to tell me.
“It’s complicated, but to sum it up...a hard hit on the head could kill me.”
Direct. Honest. Raw. This was the Drew I’d first been drawn into. I’d missed this part of him, the part that didn’t hold things back from me when they happened. I just hadn’t realized the next time I got to see this Drew would be when he casually told me that he was one misplaced blow away from an early grave.
“That’s...” I squeezed my eyes shut to block out all the erratic thoughts and tried to pluck something useful. I came up with nothing. “That’s fucking horrible.”
His lips pinched together, and his eyes shifted away from mine. “Yeah. In a normal line of work, it wouldn’t really be a big deal, but it means I’ll have to be extra careful.”
It took a couple seconds for those words to sink in. Be extra careful? Be extra careful? No way in hell did he mean what it sounded like he meant.
“You’re still going to do stunts?” I asked, the words coming out on an incredulous breath.
He blinked. “Yes.”
All the lightness in his tone was gone now. With that one word, he made it very clear that that particular part of the conversation wasn’t up for discussion. That I had absolutely no input into whether or not he put his life at risk on a regular basis when staying safe would be so simple. And we weren’t talking about the sort of risks firemen or soldiers or cops took. Those were the sorts of jobs that the results often helped with the acceptance of risk. Not driving around on a fucking bike for thrills.
“Are you serious?”
The waitress brought our drinks over before he answered. I had completely forgotten I’d even ordered a drink and was overjoyed to slam back a significant amount of the cocktail into my parched mouth.
His eyes met mine, his jaw taking on a stubborn set. “Yes. I’m very serious.”
Now I knew I was really pushing it. I didn’t want to make Drew mad, especially since he was most likely going through a hell of a lot in his own head already. But I found it hard to process that he was so committed to doing stunts that he’d risk his life for it. Moderate danger for something like that didn’t bother me, but this was above and beyond stupid.
And he clearly didn’t care enough about me to let me have a say in what he decided.
I couldn’t stop worrying about Drew. During the day, I’d be tapping away in my office, drawing up whatever article I’d been assigned, but the whole time I’d be thinking about Drew. Fundraiser for local charity. Drew. Baffling lottery win. Drew. And on and on and on.
It was exhausting.
I kept waiting for that awful phone call when I’d be told that he’d wiped out while practicing. Every time my phone rang, a shiver ran through me.
I just hoped it wasn’t affecting my work. Even though I didn’t want to be at the Gazette the rest of my life, I still wanted to do a good job while I was there. I took pride in my work. And being distracted by what I considered my boyfriend’s inevitable demise wasn’t conducive to good work.
Thursday afternoon, just as I was getting ready to shut down for the day, my cell phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number on the caller ID.
My pulse quickened. My hands began to sweat. My head swam with the realization that I wasn’t going to like the way this phone call went.
With shaking fingers, I answered the call. “Hello?”
“Hey, Jinx. It’s Dallas.” His voice was flat, like he didn’t want to give anything away.
I tried to swallow, but my throat was too dry. And anyway, I was pretty sure it had closed up, like the hand of the grim reaper himself was squeezing off my air.
“Drew was doing an exercise and crashed his bike,” Dallas said. “I think you should come down here.”
It had only been a week and a day since Drew had told me his diagnosis. I’d thought I’d have at least a little bit more time before my nightmare come true, but as life seemed to keep doing to the two of us, it had come up far too fast.
“I’ll be right there.”
21
Drew
I glared at Dallas over the top of Jinx’s head. She was nestled under my chin, holding onto me like she thought I’d disappear at any moment. And it was all my asshole twin’s fault.
I didn’t want to be irritated with Jinx too, but I was irritated in general, so it didn’t take much for the angry thoughts to slip into my head.
Why did she have to come? And why did she have to be so fucking worried? I was fine.
“I’m so glad you’re...”
Her words trailed off, but I got the gist of what she hadn’t said. Not dead. I’m so glad you’re not dead.
Her heart was in the right place, even if I was annoyed.
“Yeah, me too.” I kissed the top of her head, and then pushed her back, holding her at arm’s length. “Now that you’ve seen I’m fine, can I get back to work?”
She frowned, and I knew that was a big fat no. Not that she would actually try to stop me, but all the same, I couldn’t just tell her to leave. I couldn’t stand the thought of upsetting her like that.
But what was I supposed to do?
“How about I go home with you,” I said finally. “You can see for yourself that I’m fine.”
Her frown lifted, eyes lighting with hope. “I don’t want to be a hassle...”
I glared over at Dallas again. He merely shrugged, as if to say, she’s your girlfriend, what was I supposed to do?
I tried to communicate with my eyes that he was supposed to talk to me before calling in my worrying girlfriend. Every time I saw her like this just made me feel guiltier about refusing to give up stunts. It wasn’t like she didn’t have a good reason to be concerned. I think it was because, in some part of my brain, I knew that she was right. That I would cause her an insurmountable amount of pain if something bad happened, but I couldn’t quit. Not when I was so close to getting everything I’d ever wanted.
Not when I still had a few birds to throw in death’s face.
“I was basically done for the day anyway,” I said, smiling reassuringly. “Just let me load my bike up onto the truck. Dallas can help me.” Since he’s been ‘helping’ me so much today already. I added the last part in my head.
Dallas helped me load up my bike before he climbed into the passenger seat, not saying a single word. He didn’t need to. We’d always been able to tell what the other one was feeling, and he knew how pissed I was.
And he knew it was mostly his fault.
I’d brought him to help me, and he’d ended up fucking things up. I used a local dirt biking track to practice some of my smaller stunts, and he’d been filming my jumps for me so I could review them later. After getting the angle just a little bit wrong on one of my jumps, I’d dropped off my bike and headed straight into the dirt. Not a big deal. But before I knew what was happening, Dallas was on the phone with Jinx, committing the sort of betrayal that meant I needed to kick his ass.
Prick.
Now I had to drive him back to his place without punching him in his smug face.
“I’ll see you at home,” Jinx said. “Please drive safe.”
“Actually, I was thinking about driving on the other side of the road today,” I joked, giving her a tight smile. “Figured I’d give it a try. The British seem to think it’s a fun time.”
Jinx pretended she hadn’t heard me and got back into the little silver Chevy we’d picked up for her last week. She said she felt like she was really settled in Grantsboro now that she had a car. If I’d known that was all it would take, I would have bought her a car the first day she got to this town.
Dallas and I didn’t speak the whole way to his house, and I wasn’t sure what pissed me off more – that he hadn’t offered an apology or that a part of me didn’t necessarily think he owed me one. That was all I thought of the entire way back to my place. Well, that and what was going to happen with Jinx.
I flung the front door open and stepped into the air-conditioned interior of the house. As hot as Carolina summers could get, there was nothing quite like walking into somewhere cool after a long day of work in the heat.
Jinx must’ve been in the living room waiting because she rounded the hallway door the next second after the door closed behind me. She smiled, and I felt relief that she was genuinely glad to see me.
“You made it in one piece.”
“Amazingly,” I teased.
She came up and wrapped her arms around me. “I’m sorry about today,” she said. “Dallas kinda freaked me out. I just needed to see that you were safe with my own two eyes.”
“It’s okay.” I rubbed her back as I kissed the top of her head. It was more Dallas’s fault than it was anyone else’s, I decided. If he’d been able to keep his shit together, she’d have never f
ound out about my little tumble in the first place.
“I had something I wanted to talk to you about,” Jinx said, her voice heavy.
I suspected it was something I wouldn’t find all that fun to discuss. And I could feel that she was wound as tight as a screw, so it wasn’t like she was having a good time either. That’s why I decided that there was something better for us to do than talk.
“In a bit,” I promised. I tilted her chin up to look at me. “First, I want to properly greet you.”
I leaned down and molded my mouth to hers. She gave a delicate sigh and fell against me, hands reaching up to grip the fabric of my shirt. I slid my tongue between her lips and stroked inside her mouth, urging her to open more for me. Always so accommodating, she tilted her head back and took me in.
It took less than a minute for my cock to swell so completely that my jeans were suddenly too tight. The way she folded around me, all soft skin and heat, never failed to bring me right to the peak of arousal, never failed to make me hungry for her. Ravenous.
I turned to slam her back against the door, my hands moving from caressing to clutching. Fuck, I needed her so bad. I’d never needed anyone like this before, and I knew if I thought about it too long, it would scare me. So I didn’t want to think. I wanted to feel.
We hadn’t had a good rough fuck in a while, and I was in exactly the right kind of mood today. I wanted to remind her that I wasn’t some fragile piece of porcelain that would shatter at the slightest touch. I was the one who did the shattering. I was a force to be fucking reckoned with, and this dumbass diagnosis hadn’t done anything to change that.
I would prove it to her.
She moaned and cupped my face with her hands as I ground my hips against hers. Her fingers started to rake through my hair, and I grabbed her hands, held her wrists together above her head, used my free hand to cup her breast. She made a sound in the back of her throat, pushing her breast against my palm. Her nipple hardened even more under the thin fabric as I squeezed her breast.
