She was a large, upright woman with salt-and-pepper coloured hair, which she always wore pulled back from her face, pinned tightly behind her ears and rolled around the bottom. Her outfit of choice without fail was a tailored costume over a long-sleeved, high-necked blouse and a very fearsomely structured corset. Her concession to summer was to remove the jacket. Her complexion was naturally pale and she always wore lipstick, a touch of powder along with a spray of floral perfume, and a large diamanté brooch in the shape of a lizard.
But despite always being so rigid and formal, she noticeably softened when Ruby mentioned the baby.
‘It’s just so sad, dear, but at least you know where she is and how she’s getting on. You’ll always know that, and George and Babs will be perfect parents to her, the same as they are to you. You just have to think of that poor Gracie, who wasn’t lucky enough to have the support you had. She knows nothing about her baby and she never will.’
‘I do know that,’ Ruby said sharply. ‘But now they’ve got the baby they always wanted I’ll just be in the way.’
‘No you won’t. That is just being childish and silly, Ruby, and I know you’re not silly. It’s true they always wanted a child but were never blessed, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have enough love for you both. Some parents have five, six, seven children – can they only love one of them?’ She looked at Ruby and raised her eyebrows. ‘But it’s not my place to say any more about it. You must talk to George and Babs and discuss this with them.’
With that Leonora stood up and carefully straightened her skirt before looking in the large mirror that hung over the open fireplace, patting her permed hair without actually moving it, and reapplying the bright red lipstick, which seemed out of character with her otherwise staid appearance. Ruby knew that was meant to be the end of the conversation but she wasn’t going to let it go as easily as that.
‘Well, I know I want to stay in Southend and I’m going to. It feels like home now.’ She smiled. ‘But I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve been so good. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t helped me. You didn’t have to, but you did.’
To Ruby’s surprise a deep flush made its way from Leonora’s neck all the way up to her forehead.
‘That is such a nice thing for you to say, Ruby Blakeley. And believe it or not, it’s been a pleasure to have you here. You’ve grown on me, young lady!’
Ruby was pleased. She felt settled and was glad Leonora liked having her there. Since meeting Gracie, Ruby was enjoying her new life in the lively seaside town. The two girls had become close friends and were going out together at every opportunity. They went to dances and the cinema, they even went to the theatre, but there was nothing they enjoyed more than spending an afternoon at the Kursaal on the seafront, sometimes just the two of them and sometimes with young men. But although Gracie sometimes took it further Ruby never did. She wouldn’t even let a young man kiss her, let alone go any further. She had promised herself she would never get into that awful situation again. Yes, she thought to herself. Southend was home.
Pressing her lips together to set her lipstick, Leonora turned around to face her. ‘Has your money from George run out yet? Is that why you need a job?’ she asked.
‘No. I haven’t spent much of it. I’m saving up, and if I take the job I can carry on saving. I’ve helped out here, I’ve seen what Gracie does in the Palace, and I can easily do what she does.’ She looked at Leonora earnestly, seeking approval. ‘I want to learn all about the hotel trade. I want my own hotel.’
‘Not so long ago all you wanted was to be a nurse.’
‘Yes, but only because that was all I knew. I had the idea that I’d become a nurse and then go back and work with Uncle George, but that was just a stupid kid’s dream. Now I know different. I want a hotel just like this one day.’
‘High expectations, young lady. I was lucky to have an inheritance. I could never have afforded this without it and after all those years looking after my mother I had the domestic experience as well, which was lucky in its own way. And I was already getting on in years.’ Leonora laughed drily. ‘No, dear, I approve your ambition but you should go off and do your nursing training. That would be a good basis for many things, especially for marriage and children. You may meet a nice doctor – lots of nurses do. That’s why they’re nurses.’
‘I’m not going to get married. I don’t need a man to look after me. I want to be able to look after myself. I want a job, a career. Like you.’
‘But that’s not how it is nowadays, not now the war’s over and the men are able to work again. There aren’t so many jobs for the women.’ Once again she glanced in the mirror. ‘Now we have to go down and see to the guests. We’ll talk again tonight.’
Ruby looked at her and realised that the conversation really was over.
Leonora walked ahead down the narrow staircase from the flat to the main hotel accommodation and then down again to the ground floor; as Ruby went into the kitchen so Leonora went into her small office by the reception and sat down at her desk. At the age of fifty-five, unmarried and, until the death of her mother, never having had a life outside the family home, she had an understandably narrow view of modern life. She tried to keep up with the world she had never previously had much access to, but it was hard. She’d had little opportunity to make a social life, and she had no experience of the younger generations. She was more comfortable dealing with the genteel ladies who stayed in her hotel rather than opening it up to holidaying couples and families.
She had only agreed to having the pregnant Ruby to stay with her because she adored her brother George, and would do anything for him. Despite her reservations, she had, however, grown fond of the young girl and had got used to having her around to help out. She enjoyed her youthful company and conversation and it was as if she were reliving her own lost youth.
She had fretted over Ruby’s pregnancy, the birth and then the adoption and she had been delighted that baby Maggie was with George and Babs and not with strangers. She had been sucked in to their lives, and now the time was drawing near she found herself dreading the girl’s departure.
The hotel’s small office window looked out across the sea, and on a clear day it was possible to see right across the estuary to Kent. She would often sit and stare and imagine what her life could have been like if she had had some freedom in her youth, especially when she saw the passenger ships heading out to open sea en route to countries she had only read about in the many books she’d collected over the years. In her daydreams she was on a ship travelling off on an adventure to the great unknown, sailing to such exotic destinations as India and China, Africa and America. As she watched she could see herself sipping tea on deck with the ladies and dining with eligible male companions who were off to transform the colonies.
It was these now unachievable dreams that made her want something more for her young charge. Leonora Wheaton disapproved strongly of the fact that Ruby was unmarried and a mother, especially at such a young age, but she also admired the way she had dealt with it.
She opened a drawer, pulled out a ledger and spent an hour going through it, adding up, working out and thinking hard. She pushed her chair back resolutely and went out to the reception desk where Ruby was standing talking to one of the guests. Leonora watched for a moment as Ruby interacted perfectly with the elegant woman, and as soon as the conversation was over Leonora called Ruby into the office.
As she closed the door Ruby went straight into her naturally defensive mode.
‘I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Miss Delaney was asking me about the buses.’
‘It’s nothing like that. I want to put something to you.’ Leonora paused for a moment and took a deep breath. ‘If you’re sure you want to stay in this area, then you can stay here and work for me properly. As my assistant. I can’t pay you much but you’ll have board and lodging and training. You will have to take your turn at everything; this is such a smal
l hotel I can’t have specific employees for specific jobs.’
Ruby stood and stared. She was completely taken aback and she wasn’t sure what to say. Her decision to move out had been made because she thought she had no choice, and suddenly she had an alternative but she wasn’t sure it was the alternative she wanted. Part of the appeal of staying in the town was the thought of the freedom it would bring her. She and Gracie had plotted and planned where they would go and what they would do once she was away from Thamesview and free to go out and start having fun.
‘Oh, I don’t know what to say. This isn’t what I was expecting …’ Ruby stuttered when she realised that Leonora was waiting for some sort of response. ‘I wasn’t hinting or anything …’
‘I know you weren’t and I can see you’re shocked, so off you go and think about it. Then if you decide we can talk about your role, which will have to combine work and training.’
‘I’ve arranged to meet Gracie at the pier – I have to go, she’ll be waiting for me – but I’ll come straight back.’
Leonora smiled but Ruby could see the woman was disappointed that she hadn’t jumped at the offer.
As she turned to leave the room Leonora called her back. ‘Ruby dear, I’m not doing you a favour. I’d like you to stay.’
Ruby hadn’t arranged to meet Gracie but she wanted to get away to think. Even if her situation at Leonora’s hotel changed she couldn’t imagine the woman who had been her guardian, as such, easily letting go of the reins.
She walked along to the nearby parade of shops and went into the small café where she and Gracie sometimes sat for hours with a pot of tea and a plate of biscuits topped up occasionally by the owners, Mr and Mrs Alfredo, if there wasn’t a queue. If it was a sunny day the lace curtains were clipped back from the windows and everyone who went in always wanted the window seats. Ruby and Gracie always sat in the alcove at the back without a view of anything except the kitchen so they were rarely moved on.
‘Ah, it is the beautiful Ruby.’ Mr Alfredo held his arms out in welcome across the counter. ‘But where is the also lovely Gracie?’
‘She’s not here today. Do you mind if I sit in here on my own? I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea …’
‘If they get the wrong idea then Mrs Alfredo will immediately teach them the right idea. You go and sit and I’ll bring you tea. Go, go …’
Ruby smiled. It would be very easy to be flattered by the charm of the moustachioed Mr Alfredo but she’d spent long enough in there to know that he greeted everyone as if they were all long-lost cousins and their offspring. While he gesticulated and complimented, so Mrs Alfredo tutted and rolled her eyes. It was a routine, almost a music-hall act which the two of them had perfected over the years.
She crossed to the other side of the café which was empty apart a young couple sitting at a table in the window, oblivious to everything going on around them. Once she was seated and had a cup of tea in front of her, Ruby watched them surreptitiously as they leaned into each other across the gingham-covered table and held hands. She noticed the shiny gold wedding ring first and then saw the woman gently touch her stomach.
Recently wed and pregnant.
As she watched she couldn’t help but think of Johnnie Riordan. The familiar wave of pain that always swept through her body whenever she thought of him and Maggie started in the pit of her stomach and spread up though her chest. She blinked fiercely, aware that the next stop for the wave was always her eyes. It just never really went away. She often lay in bed at night and fantasised about the three of them being a family, and that thought hurt just as much as it had the day she had handed Maggie over to Babs and George Wheaton.
It was that pain that helped her make up her mind.
Having fun with Gracie was such a short-term thing and she really didn’t want a serious boyfriend. Although she was only just seventeen she felt a lot older; older than Gracie, even. Her friend seemed to have overcome everything that had happened to her and locked it away in the far reaches of her mind; she bore little resentment to the father of her baby, who had quickly abandoned her when she told him she was pregnant, to her mother who threw her out of her home, or even to the nuns who treated her so badly. ‘Back on the bike and riding …’ she’d laugh if Ruby asked how she was feeling.
Ruby always went along with the gaiety and pretended to feel the same but inside she felt stripped of all emotion. She couldn’t imagine ever getting over it as Gracie seemed to be doing.
‘Thanks, Mr Alfredo,’ she said as she rushed past the counter. ‘I’ve left the money on the table.’
‘Wait, Ruby, wait! I want you to meet my son. He’s at university, you know! He’s very clever; he’s going to be a big important lawyer when he qualifies.’ His pride was obvious as he turned and shouted out in the direction of the internal stairs that led up to the accommodation above the café. ‘Tony? Tony, come down and meet my most beautiful customer, my favourite customer.’
The young man who sauntered down into the café, hands in pockets, was classically handsome in features and obviously Mediterranean in colouring. Confident in his stature, his clothes were casual but smart, and he was perfectly groomed; he had a mass of thick black hair controlled by Brylcreem, light olive skin and deep brown eyes that looked directly into Ruby’s as he moved to stand behind the counter. Ruby’s first impression was that he looked just like a movie star, but she instantly dismissed the thought.
‘Tony, this is Ruby … Ruby, this Tony, my son. He’s home from university for the holidays and helping his mamma and papà with the business,’ Mr Alfredo said.
‘Pleased to meet you, Ruby,’ Tony Alfredo said with a smile that showed his very white teeth but didn’t reach his eyes. Ruby guessed he was fed up with being regularly wheeled out to be shown off.
‘Pleased to meet you too, Tony,’ she smiled, and then turned back to his father. ‘I’m sorry but I have to run. I’ve got something I have to do but I’ll see you soon.’
She blew Mr Alfredo, senior a light-hearted kiss and winked at his wife, who smiled and predictably rolled her eyes.
She could feel Tony Alfredo’s eyes on her but she resisted the urge to turn round and look at him again. The flicker of interest she felt wasn’t what she wanted.
As she reached the Thamesview she ran up the steps, into the lobby and and then straight through into the office.
‘Aunt Leonora, I’ve thought about it. I’d love to work here and I’m so grateful to you for giving me the chance. I want to learn absolutely everything and I promise I won’t let you down.’
‘Good,’ Leonora said. ‘Now which one of us is going to tell Babs and George that you’re not going back to Melton?’
Part Two
Fifteen
1951
‘But Ruby, you must come back for Maggie’s birthday tea party. I really want you here; we all do.’
‘I don’t know if I can. The hotel is busy and Aunt Leonora is still unwell.’
‘I’m sure you can manage this one day. Maggie really wants you to come. She’s written your name on her list.’ Babs Wheaton was at her persuasive best. ‘We’ve missed you, darling. It’s been so long. We’ll send Yardley to collect you and Leonora. It will be nice for her to see Maggie as well.’
‘I’ll do my best. Gracie might be able to take over if she can get the day off from the Palace. Sometimes I wonder how we’d manage without her being prepared to work twenty-four hours a day. My saving Grace, she is,’ Ruby laughed.
‘Marian was asking about you the other day. She’s engaged now. Keith is still single and he’s grown into such a fine young man. He’s doing National Service but I don’t know where he is. Oh, Ruby, he looks so handsome in his uniform … And, of course, there’s Maggie; such a little madam, that one. She rules this house. You must come home.’
‘OK, you win,’ Ruby laughed. ‘I’ll be there but we don’t need Yardley. I can drive the hotel car now. I’ll bring Aunt Leonora if she’s well enough but I am
worried about her. Do you think Uncle George will examine her?’
‘If she lets him. Leonora can be very difficult.’
‘Difficult isn’t the word at the moment, but she is poorly and I’m worried. You’ll notice when you see her – if she comes.’
Ruby replaced the phone onto its cradle and leaned back against the wall. She didn’t want to go and play happy families at Maggie Wheaton’s fifth birthday, but she knew it was something she had to do: a duty.
The little girl had been brought up knowing Ruby as her distant big sister and godmother, so the occasional visit was something she had to endure to keep everyone happy, but it was hard and every year it got harder rather than easier. As Maggie had changed from a baby into a beautiful small person with a voice and a personality, Ruby was even more aware of what she was missing, but she knew it was the best thing for daughter, who was having a happy childhood with two comfortably-off parents who adored her.
But still it hurt.
As time had passed she had done her best to detach herself from her previous lives in Melton and Walthamstow simply because she didn’t want to think about what had gone before, but every so often something happened and she was back on the hospital ward holding the bundle in her arms.
A remark, a look, a small child of a similar age playing on the beach could instantly spark an unexpected memory. There was always a current photograph of Maggie on the sideboard at the hotel, but it was Leonora who would take the old one out of the frame and replace it with the new. Anyone who asked was told that Maggie was Leonora’s niece and Ruby’s goddaughter.
The only person outside of the Wheatons who knew the details of Maggie’s parentage was Gracie, but it had never been discussed since the day Ruby had told Gracie she wasn’t going to move to the Palace Hotel and work with her, that she was going to stay at Thamesview, and then told her all the reasons why. Gracie had hugged her friend and promised to keep her secret. And she had. The one good thing to come out of it all was Ruby’s deep and enduring friendship with Gracie.
Ruby Page 14
