by Kieran Scott
“Well, maybe it’s good that you stood up to him. Maybe he’ll realize how bad it is and he’ll, I don’t know, get help or something,” Robbie said hopefully. “Maybe whatever you said will make a difference.”
I sputtered a laugh. “Please. Nothing will ever make a difference with him.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes. I do. A couple of years ago he was found passed out at his desk at work and my mom thought that would do it, but his boss helped cover it up because they’re such old friends,” I said. “Then last Christmas he went out to string lights during, like, fifty-mile-an-hour winds or something and he broke his arm and slipped a disk. We thought that would do it, but no. I think he’ll end up dead before he changes. It’s definitely not gonna be a lecture from me. He doesn’t even care about me.” I picked up another pebble and threw it so hard, my arm socket hurt. Robbie stared out at the water and I could practically hear him thinking. He was trying to figure out how to get away from me as quickly as possible. Get away from the freak. “You must think I’m such a loser,” I said.
“What? No. Are you kidding?” he said. “Everyone has something screwed up in their lives. I just wish there was something I could do.”
“Yeah, right. What’s screwed up in your life?” I asked.
“Uh, my mother bailed on me and my brother when I was five?” he said.
Oh, right. Duh. I knew his mom wasn’t around. What was wrong with me?
“Right. Sorry.”
“Not only that, but we didn’t hear one single word from her again until last summer, when she invited us both to her wedding in Maine,” he said.
“No way,” I blurted.
“Way,” he said, widening his eyes.
I gaped at him. “So did you burn the invitation?”
“No. I went,” he said.
“You did not.”
“Did,” he replied. “Tony, that’s my brother, he couldn’t handle it, but I was pretty much dying of curiosity. So I went. Good cake. Her husband’s a tool, though. He’s got a comb-over and he plays bingo. Like every Sunday.”
“I can’t believe you went,” I said. “Wasn’t it weird?”
“Kind of. But she was like a stranger to me. It was sort of like going to the wedding of a great-aunt you’d never met,” he said. “We posed for a couple of pictures and she sent me a postcard from her honeymoon. Now she e-mails me all the time with these weird chain letters. And that is the extent of my relationship with my mother.”
I shook my head. “See, I never would have gone. Once I go away to college, I never want to see my father again.” I choked on the last couple of words. Suddenly I felt very tired. And pathetic. And sad. Why was this my life? It was so unfair. I just wanted to be able to come home and go to my room and not have to worry about whether or not my father was in one of his moods. I just wanted to be normal.
Robbie reached over and put his arm around my shoulder. The moment his fingers squeezed my arm, tears started rolling down my face. I tried to stop them, but the more I tried, the more they kept coming. Robbie scooted toward me until our legs touched, and held me a little closer without saying a single word. I couldn’t believe I was doing this, weeping in the middle of the woods while Robbie Delano of all people hugged me, but at that moment, it was all I could do. I needed that hug. Between my dad and my mom and Stephanie and Fred and all the other crap going on, I needed it really badly.
ACT THREE, SCENE FOUR
In which:
CONFUSING EMOTIONS SURFACE
“ALL RIGHT! WE NEED ALL THE PINK LADIES AND T-BIRDS ON stage!” Mr. Katz called out. “We’re doing a dry run of ‘You’re the One That I Want’!”
I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat, getting ready to make notes. Really, I was just trying to look busy for all the people who were glowering around me. Stephanie, Glenn, Andy, Fred. Not one of them had spoken to me all afternoon. Well, except for Andy, who kind of had to. But he only asked me questions about props and that was it. Guess he was too mature to let our personal issues get in the way of a great production. But it was so weird, sitting in the same room with Stephanie and feeling like I couldn’t talk to her. So weird that she had no idea what had happened to me on Friday night and that she had no idea I’d spent lunch today with Cameron, hanging in the bio lab, trying to work but mostly just talking. But I couldn’t bring myself to approach her first. I was still mad. She was supposed to be on my side no matter what, but lately, she’d aligned herself with the enemy one too many times.
“It’s so gauche, taking the song from the movie,” Ashley said to Carrie as they strolled by. “When we did Grease at the Theater in the Round, we stuck to the original music.”
Everyone gathered up on stage and Chelsea, the choreographer from a local dance school, snapped her fingers at Tama and Robbie, pointing to a place upstage. They looked at each other, confused, then moved to that spot. Chelsea turned to Mr. Katz and clapped her hands twice like a flamenco dancer.
“And now, we dance!”
Everyone laughed and she gave them all a sour look. Like Ashley, Chelsea didn’t appreciate unprofessional behavior. Why she worked with kids was beyond me.
“All right, Jeffrey,” Mr. Katz said, strolling over to the piano. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Jeffrey Porter played the intro, and up on stage, Tama and Robbie started to sing. They had these big grins on and moved through their dance sequences like they’d been doing it all their lives. A couple of times one of the T-Birds got in their way—usually Fred—but they moved deftly around him and kept right on singing. The background dancers were all over the place, but for the most part, it looked okay. Especially for the first time through with the whole cast. Watching it even made me forget, temporarily, that everyone hated me.
“Okay, everyone! Nice work!” Mr. Katz shouted as the final chord faded away. Everyone was posed on stage in their final move, hands in the air, fingers splayed, a crazy circus of wide eyes and huge grins. “Let’s take five and then we’ll go over that count by count.”
The crowd broke up, but Jeffrey started playing another, slower tune. I recognized the music instantly and my pulse started to race. Up on stage, Robbie grabbed Tama’s hand and pulled her to him. My heart caught in surprise. Was he doing what I thought he was doing?
“Uh, what’s your malfunction?” Tama snapped.
Robbie ignored her. Slowly, he started to move back and forth, holding Tama against him. Right in front of everyone, he led her through the dance we had practiced backstage last week. Jeffrey continued to play expertly, the lilting music filling the auditorium, and every single person in the room was silent. Silent and watching in curious wonder.
I couldn’t move. Couldn’t look away. Robbie gazed into Tama’s eyes like she was the only girl in the world. Tama blushed and looked away, then back again, like she couldn’t help herself. I knew what that felt like. I knew exactly what that felt like. And suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. All I knew was I didn’t want to see the twirl. The dip. The . . . the what came after that.
I was up the aisle and out the door before the song ever ended. The door slammed loudly behind me, which must have killed the mood inside, but I didn’t care. I actually kind of hoped it would. Leaning back against the cool cinder-block wall in the lobby, I closed my eyes and breathed. This was wrong. This was very, very wrong. I was in love with Cameron. Always had been, always would be.
So why did I feel so utterly, indescribably . . . jealous?
ACT THREE, SCENE FIVE
In which:
I JUST WANT TAMA OUT OF MY CAR
“I MEAN, WHAT WAS HE THINKING? YOU HAVE TO ASK A GIRL TO dance first, don’t you? Isn’t that how it works?” Tama asked giddily. She was trying to act all offended by what Robbie had done, but she was actually beaming. “The boy can dance, though, can’t he? Did you see the way he dipped me? It was right out of Dancing With the Stars.”
I stared at the red light and willed
it to turn green. Never in my life would I have imagined that Tama could make me feel this way, but right then I couldn’t wait to get the girl out of my car. All she’d talked about the entire drive was Robbie. Robbie, Robbie, Robbie. Didn’t she have a boyfriend?
“Cage? Hello?” Tama said, waving a hand.
The light turned green and I slammed on the gas. We lurched over the train tracks.
“What?” I said.
“I’m talking over here, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Tama said. “Or am I just boring you?”
“Sorry,” I said. “Got a lot on my mind.”
Tama laughed. “Like what?” she asked. Like there was no possible way I could have anything important on the brain. I suddenly missed Steph. Badly. I turned in to the parking lot of her doctor’s office and into the first space I saw.
“We’re here!” I announced.
“What’s with you today?” Tama asked, flipping down the visor to apply her lip gloss.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You’re all bitched out,” Tama said matter-of-factly.
“I don’t have to drive you here, you know,” I said. “I do have other things I could be doing.”
Tama slapped the visor up and gaped at me. “Wow. One little unadulterated freak-out and it’s like a whole new KJ,” she said, referring to Friday night. “Fine. I thought friends did favors for friends, but if that’s the way you feel about it—”
There was a roar of an engine loud enough to wake the dead and something zoomed past my window. I glanced up just in time to see Leo whipping his helmet off. He got up from his bike and walked around to Tama’s side of my car.
“Get out,” he ordered, jerking the door open.
“Leo! What the hell are you doing?”
“That’s what I was going to ask you!” he shouted. “You’re seeing the psycho shrink again?”
Tama got out of the car and slammed the door so hard the whole thing shook. My heart pounded with fear. Leo looked like he had blood on his mind. I killed the engine and stepped out as well. Maybe he’d double-think the violence if there were witnesses.
“Dr. Weiner? Yes, I’m seeing him again,” Tama said. “Where did you come from, anyway? Are you following me? You won’t answer my calls but you’re following me?”
“I went to school to pick you up so we could talk and I saw you getting in KJ’s car, so I figured I’d just follow you home and talk to you there,” Leo said. “But instead you come here. How long has this been going on?”
“I’ve been coming since Christmas,” Tama admitted.
“Since Christmas? What happened to standing up to your parents? What happened to being in charge of your own life and not letting them control you?” he shouted.
“You’re one to talk!” Tama said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, please, Leo. We all know who was behind you applying to college,” Tama said with a disgusted look on her face. “You’ve never wanted to go away to school. Are you really going to tell me your dad didn’t make you do it?”
“No, my dad didn’t make me do it,” Leo said. “We had some conversations about it, yeah, but I realized he was right.”
“Ha!”
Leo’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe he was right about some other stuff, too,” he said. “Maybe you really are holding me back.”
“What!?” Tama blurted.
“You know what, screw this,” Leo said, turning around. “I’m outta here. I have some applications to send out.”
He got on his bike and revved the engine.
“Well, fine! Go ahead and do that, then! I don’t give a crap where you are next year!” Tama shouted, getting all up in his face. “There are a million guys in this town who would kill to date me!”
Leo backed up and turned the bike, Tama following awkwardly after him.
“You hear me? A million guys, Leo!”
He ignored her and peeled out. For a long moment, the both of us just stood there in the parking lot. A couple of faces stared down at us from the office windows. Finally, the sound of his engine faded to nothing and Tama turned around. Her chest heaved up and down. She had one tear on her face, which she quickly wiped away.
“Come on.”
She walked by me and got back in the car. I slid in next to her.
“Don’t you have an appointment?” I asked.
“I don’t care.” Her face was set like stone. “Let’s just go.”
I started the car. “Where are we going?”
She turned to look at me. “We’re going to Robbie’s.”
ACT THREE, SCENE SIX
In which:
A DATE IS MADE
I PULLED INTO ROBBIE’S EMPTY DRIVEWAY, THE HEADLIGHTS OF MY car illuminating the basketball hoop hung over the garage door. There were only a few lights on in the house, and I found myself praying that no one was home.
This is a good thing, KJ. You’ve been trying to get these two together, and now, here you are, the farmer sowing the final seed.
So why did I feel like I was nailing the final nail in the coffin instead?
“Okay. I’m going in,” Tama said, smoothing her hair. She got out of the car and straightened her skirt.
“Good luck,” I said weakly.
She laughed and stuck her head back inside. “Like I need it.”
Is it wrong that I wanted to pull her hair?
She sauntered around the car and up to the front door. I slid the car window down, needing to hear this. Tama rang the bell. I held my breath. The light on the front porch flicked on and Robbie opened the door. He didn’t even look surprised to see her.
“Hey,” Tama said.
“Hey,” Robbie replied. He squinted past her at the car. My heart skipped a beat. I raised a hand. He raised a hand in return. Pathetic. I was totally pathetic.
“So, you want to go out this weekend?” Tama asked. Just like that. Like she was asking to borrow a pencil.
“Uh, yeah. With you? Sure. Absolutely.” Robbie put his hand on the back of his neck. It was the first time I’d ever seen him flustered. Crap, he really liked her. Like really, really liked her.
My whole body sank. I wanted to drive away. I didn’t need to see any more of this. My hand even reached for the gear shift, but I stopped. I was Tama’s only ride home. And if I left her here, she’d have to stay here until Robbie’s dad got back from work and drove her. And God only knew what they’d do together until then. The idea made my stomach very unhappy.
So I stayed. And I rolled up the window. I let them make their plans as I sat in the car and thought of Cameron. Cameron’s laugh, Cameron’s smile, Cameron’s perfect hair. Cameron’s scent, Cameron’s clothes, Cameron’s incredible shoulders.
Eventually a sort of calm resolve came over me. If Tama could do this, I could do it, too. It was time to take control of my life. I was in love with Cameron Richardson. No one else. And I’d waited long enough to do something about it.
ACT THREE, SCENE SEVEN
In which:
I TAKE THE PLUNGE
I DROVE TAMA HOME, THEN WENT BACK TO SCHOOL. I WAS SO pumped up with adrenaline and resolve, I felt like I was going to bust out of my skin. Our rehearsal had ended early, so even with all the driving around town, it was possible that the basketball team was still practicing. When I drove into the parking lot and saw Cameron’s car sitting in its assigned space, I felt a rush of excitement and total dread.
This was it. This was my moment. Thank goodness my mother had believed that I wasn’t drinking that night at O’Reilly’s and had decided not to ground me as long as I promised never to go there again. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even be free to do what I was about to do.
I threw the car into park before I hit the brake and lurched forward. Ow. Oops. Okay, I had to get control of myself. I killed the engine, checked my hair and got out of the car with only my keys. I tripped twice on my way up the steps. When I got inside, I heard the squeaks of sneakers on the hal
lway and the pounding of a basketball. My heart hit my mouth. Two seconds later, Cameron, Dustin, Tommy and three of their teammates walked into the lobby.
Perfect timing. It was like fate.
Please just don’t let him walk by me like he doesn’t know me. I’ll never be able to do this if he does.
“KJ! What’s up?” Cameron asked.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Another sign.
“I . . . uh . . . need to talk to you,” I said.
The other guys exchanged looks behind his back.
