You’re the Reason

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You’re the Reason Page 9

by J. Nathan


  I’d just stepped out of the building when I twisted toward the sound of my name.

  Ryan moved toward me with a big smile on his face. “Hey.”

  My shoulders slumped, hoping the voice belonged to someone else. “Hey.”

  “So, I was thinking about this weekend.”

  “Can you walk with me and tell me?” I asked as I continued toward my next class.

  “Sure. I was talking to Chantel and Chase last night,” he said.

  My stomach dropped. They’d all been talking the previous night?

  “And they want all four of us to go out,” he explained.

  They wanted us to go on a double date? There was still a they?

  What universe was I living in? Was this some kind of joke? Was this Chantel’s way of staking her claim? Was this Chase’s way of showing me he’d never be done with Chantel? Or, was he just trying to have his cake and eat it too? My hopeful side wanted to believe he just needed to keep his eyes on Ryan and me. But if that were the case, why was he taking Chantel? FML.

  “And you really want to go with them?” I asked Ryan.

  He shrugged. “Sounds like it’ll be fun.”

  “And if I say it sounds terrible?”

  “I’ll tell you what. Let’s give it a try. If it sucks, we’ll bail.”

  I sobered my features, trying not to either scream or cry because right then, my emotions were so all over the place I didn’t know which way was up and which way was down. But I did know Ryan wanted to take me out. And, he’d been nice to me from the very beginning with no strings attached. I didn’t want my problems to affect him. “Sure. Whatever.”

  “Great.” His face lit up. “I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday. Does that work?”

  I stopped in front of my building. “Yup.”

  He smiled. “See you then.”

  I turned away from him, wondering if he understood how messed up this whole thing was. Because if it turned out that he did, and he was in on it, this place and these people were even more screwed up than I imagined.

  ***

  I thought about not going to the media room that night. Everything in me told me it was a terrible idea. But I said I’d be there, and whether or not Chase had shown up to class or not, the plan was to meet there.

  So, after thirty minutes of sitting in the media room waiting for Chase, I watched the movie alone. I took notes and then left, walking home in the darkness all by myself. And the crazy thing was…I made it home unscathed.

  My heart? Not so much.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Chase wasn’t in Art History on Thursday or History through Film on Friday. Regardless of his absence, I wrote the paper and submitted it through the portal. Everything in me told me not to put his name on it. But in the end, against my better judgment, I added it.

  When I returned to the dorm later, Chantel wasn’t in our room. With all her pledge events, I barely saw her. But I hoped her absence meant she decided to bail on our double date. It was bound to be a shit show, and she had to know that.

  Regardless of where Chantel was, I showered and got ready. Because there was one thing I was sure of. I planned to look good.

  I blew dry my hair and curled it in loose waves. I slipped on tight leather pants I saved for special occasions and a sleeveless, low cut, leopard print shirt. I hooked a silver necklace around my neck that hung between my breasts and disappeared into my cleavage. Then, I put on makeup, opting for smoky eyes, and adding a black eyeliner wing to give my eyes a dramatic and mysterious look. I added some blush and topped off the look with red lipstick.

  I stared at myself in the mirror, admiring my work. I didn’t enjoy dressing up. But tonight, looking good was imperative. There was a knock on the door. I checked the time. Ryan was ten minutes early.

  I pulled open the door, laughing when I found Valerie standing there with her mouth hanging open. “You look hot.”

  “Hold on. I haven’t even put on my heels yet.”

  “Ryan is going to die,” she said, stepping inside and closing the door. “So is Chase.”

  Hopefully.

  I reached into my closet and pulled out black, peep toe, low-rise boots and slipped them on.

  Valerie gawked at me like she’d never seen me before. “Holy hell, girl. Why don’t you dress like that more often?”

  I chuckled, happy my friend was back to normal. The crying version made me nervous since she was usually so upbeat around me. “Cut it out. It’s a little makeup.”

  “And a whole lot of hotness.”

  There was another knock on the door. I walked over and opened it. Ryan stood there in jeans and a dark gray shirt. His mouth hung open. “Holy shit.”

  Valerie walked over. “Doesn’t she look gorgeous?”

  With wide eyes, Ryan nodded.

  “I’m ready,” I said to him.

  We all walked out together, Valerie heading to her dorm room.

  “Bye, Val,” I yelled after her.

  She waved. “Don’t have too much fun you crazy kids!”

  I laughed.

  “You look beautiful, Sophia,” Ryan said as we made our way downstairs.

  “Thanks. Where are we going?”

  “We’re meeting Chase and Chantel for dinner.”

  “You sure they’re still showing up? Chantel wasn’t at the dorm.”

  “Yeah, she got ready at the frat.”

  The knot in my stomach grew. “Great.”

  Our conversation as we drove to dinner flowed easily. But our conversations always flowed easily. That wasn’t the problem. I just didn’t feel it with Ryan.

  When we arrived at the restaurant, Ryan asked me to wait, getting out of the car and coming to my side to open my door. My heart began to race as he helped me out, and we moved closer to the entrance. Once we stepped inside, I realized we were in a noisy pub. Thank God. I wouldn’t have been able to take a sit-down meal in a quiet restaurant. The pounding of my heart alone would have been filling the uncomfortable silence.

  The hostess pointed us toward a high-top table where Chantel and Chase were already sitting. I pulled in a deep breath. They didn’t notice us at first. But I could tell the second Chase did because his eyes widened. Chantel glanced over to see what caught Chase’s attention. Her bitch stare fell firmly into place.

  “Hi guys,” I said, sliding onto the stool beside Chantel as if we were besties.

  “Hey,” Chase said as Ryan slipped onto the stool beside him.

  “Hi,” Chantel said, a tightness to her lips as her eyes moved over me. “I didn’t realize virgins dressed like that.”

  I inhaled sharply, trying to stop the embarrassment flooding my body.

  “Chantel,” Chase chastised.

  Ryan tensed beside me.

  Sorry, dude. You weren’t getting any action tonight. And, yes. This is why I told you this was a terrible idea.

  “Yup,” I said, trying my damnedest to save face. “We virgins do a lot of things. We ride in cars with boys. We may even let them kiss us good night if it’s before curfew, of course.”

  Ryan snickered beside me. Chase stifled a grin.

  Chantel sipped her drink, trying to maintain the upper hand she thought she had after outing me.

  “But you know something we don’t do,” I continued, feeling bold. “We don’t snoop through other people’s personal things.” She may have started this battle of wits, but I was going to finish it.

  “You just crush on other girl’s men,” she clipped.

  My eyes cut to Chase. His averted mine. Chicken.

  “We may even do that,” I agreed.

  The waitress approached and asked if Ryan and I needed a drink. “Tequila shots,” I said, thankful for the intrusion.

  Ryan laughed beside me. “Looks like it’s gonna be that kind of night.”

  I stared across the table at Chase. “Yeah. The reckless kind.”

  Luckily, talk of my virginity ceased and the Tequila shots arrived. We all held the
m up in the center of the table. “To new friends,” I said.

  “To new friends,” Ryan said, tapping my shot glass.

  We threw back our shots. Chase and Chantel threw back theirs without even toasting.

  I winced as the sting of Tequila burned all the way down my throat.

  The waitress returned once our empty shot glasses were down on the table. “Another round?”

  “Yes,” I answered for everyone.

  “Hey, Sophia,” Chase said. “Are you even old enough to drink?”

  “Of course, I am,” I said, shooting daggers across the table at him.

  The waitress looked to me and Ryan. “Oh, did I forget to check your IDs?”

  Ryan slipped his ID out of his pocket and handed it to her. I didn’t have my fake ID with me, and I couldn’t hand over my license that said I was nineteen—for another two weeks.

  She handed him back his ID and looked to me.

  “I forgot mine at home,” I said.

  “Sorry, honey. No ID, no drinks.”

  Chantel laughed beside me.

  I glared at Chase, wondering why he’d embarrass me like that. Maybe he and Chantel had more in common than I thought. Maybe they did belong together.

  We ordered dinner and the conversation between Ryan and Chase jumped from football to their frat to a rumor about a professor and his student. Chantel and I barely spoke. I wondered why Chase was so worried about me being alone with Ryan if they were such good friends.

  Thankfully, dinner came and I didn’t need to speak. After finishing off my pasta, I excused myself for the restroom. Once inside, I stared in the mirror. I almost didn’t recognize myself. Why had I tried so hard to make Chase jealous? Why did I care when he was clearly playing games? I freshened up, then reluctantly returned to the table.

  “We’re gonna head to the beach,” Ryan informed me.

  “Whose idea was that?” I asked.

  “Mine,” Chase said. “I just love a nice drive to the coast.”

  It took everything in me not to say I didn’t feel well, but I knew what Chase was doing. And if I bailed now, he won. “Great. I love the coast. Skinny dipping is actually on my bucket list.” I looked at Ryan. “I think you might be the only one here who doesn’t know I have a jar full of bucket list wishes.” I glanced around the table. “Anyone up for skinny dipping?”

  I watched Chase’s tough exterior falter under my words. Served him right for suggesting a drive to the coast.

  “I’m in,” Ryan said.

  “Chantel?” I challenged.

  “If Chase does,” she said.

  He stared across the table at me. “We’ll see.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  We piled into Chase’s black SUV. Chantel took the front, and Ryan and I climbed into the back. I stared out my window as we drove wondering whose convertible we’d taken to the coast and what the hell I’d gotten myself into. I had no desire to skinny dip with any of them. I just needed them to know they couldn’t make me look like a fool.

  “So, Sophia. When was the last time you’ve been to the coast?” Chase asked.

  And the hits just keep on coming. “Oh, funny story.” I met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “Some guy thought he could get with me by taking me to the coast. He picked me up in a convertible and everything.”

  “I’m glad it didn’t work out. Since I’m with you tonight and not that guy,” Ryan said with a smirk.

  “Yeah. It was a total letdown,” I said, holding Chase’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

  “How’s your pledge class, Chantel?” Ryan asked.

  She twisted in her seat. “Great. Most of them are legacies from wealthy families which is really amazing. How about you guys? Chase hasn’t said much about your new pledge class.”

  Ryan shrugged. “Well, they do a nice job cleaning up our shit after parties.”

  “That’s how you judge a good pledge class?” I asked.

  “Pretty much,” he said.

  I shook my head, amused.

  We reached the beach in record time. Chase parked in the empty parking lot, pulling up to the dune separating the parking lot from the beach.

  “Do you have any towels?” Chantel asked him.

  “I may have a couple in the back.” He opened his door, and we were treated to a gust of salty air and the sound of crashing waves nearby. Chase circled to the back to check for towels, grabbing a couple as the rest of us stepped out of the car.

  The gusty beach air was such a contrast to the inland air, but I breathed it in, reveling in the scent and feel and wishing it didn’t remind me of my day with Chase. I walked over to him and pulled one of the towels from his hand.

  He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t.

  Chantel grabbed another towel from him.

  We made our way onto the sand. I stopped, slipping off my shoes before following the group down to the water’s edge. The guys slipped off their shoes and socks, while Chantel kicked off hers.

  My heartbeat kicked up a notch, and I wondered if the rest of them would be stripping down. “You guys still going in?”

  Ryan pulled his shirt over his head. With the moon almost full, the beach wasn’t completely blanketed in darkness, so I could see the cross tattoo across his back. It was always the quiet ones. He slipped off his jeans and stood in front of us in only his boxers. “Give me the towel, Sophia,” he said to me. “I’ll hold it up while you get undressed.”

  I glanced to Chase who looked ready to hurt someone. “Okay.”

  Ryan held the towel up around me as I shimmied out of my leather pants. Those would be a bitch to get back on while wet. I pulled off my top, leaving me in my black panties and bra, and wrapped the towel around me. I eyed Chantel and Chase. “You two gonna wimp out?”

  Chase pulled off his charcoal Henley. Holy shit. The ridges defining his muscles and six-pack abs left a lot to be desired. I tried not to stare for fear of Chantel rearing her claws, but my God. A vision of his chest pressed against mine in the library flooded my brain. And all those emotions rushed back as he dropped his jeans and stood in front of us in his black boxer briefs. I’d felt what lay hidden inside his briefs against me in the library, but now I could see the outline, and my thighs quivered.

  This was bad. This was very bad.

  “Fine,” Chantel sighed.

  Chase moved toward her to hold up the towel so she could get undressed, but she shooed him away. “I’m no virgin. Let ‘em look.” She shimmied out of her short denim skirt and pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in a thong and bra. The girl had a perfect body. No wonder she didn’t mind flaunting it.

  Ryan took off for the water, running in and howling with laughter. Under the water he removed his boxers and tossed them onto the beach. I laughed as I grabbed them and moved them away from the shoreline.

  I dropped my towel and jogged in next, screaming when the cold water hit my skin, stealing my breath away. I could see Chase and Chantel standing on the beach watching, so I lowered myself in the water up to my neck. Might as well check this one off my list. I unfastened my bra and shimmied out of my panties. I balled them up and tossed them onto the sand.

  “Nice,” Ryan said, keeping an appropriate distance, given I was naked under the water.

  Chase dropped his briefs right on the beach and walked toward the water.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off his dark figure moving into the water. I wasn’t sure if it was the temperature of the water making me tremble or the sight of Chase naked.

  “Jesus Christ! It’s cold,” he cried out.

  Ryan and I laughed, understanding his shock.

  “Come on, Chantel,” Ryan called to her, standing alone on the beach.

  My gaze wandered toward Chase who stared back at me.

  Ryan splashed water at me, pulling my attention from Chase.

  Startled, by the unexpected blast of bitter cold water stinging my face, I swept an armful of water his way. “Not nice!”
<
br />   He laughed. “Just making your bucket list adventure one to remember.”

  “Oh, it’s memorable all right.” I glanced to Chase who now stared out at the ocean.

  “This is stupid and I’m cold,” Chantel said. “I’m going back to the car.”

  I rolled my eyes at Ryan.

  “It is friggin’ cold,” Chase agreed. “You guys almost ready?”

  Ryan looked to me.

  I nodded, my teeth now chattering.

  “I’ll grab your stuff and turn away so you have privacy,” Ryan said.

  I watched as he and Chase made their way out of the water, stifling a smile at their bare white asses. I couldn’t hear them over the crashing of the waves, but their heads whipped from side to side as they walked all over the area of beach where we’d come in from.

  “What’s wrong?” I called.

  Ryan glanced over his shoulder at me, careful not to reveal his naked man parts. “We can’t find our stuff.”

  “Did we drift?” I asked.

  Chase shook his head. “Chantel must’ve taken everything.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. Even the towels?” I called.

  He nodded.

  “Well, you head to the car,” I said to Chase. “Ryan can block me.”

  Several emotions flash across Chase’s face. Even in the darkness I could see he didn’t like that idea.

  Sorry, dude. A double date was your idea.

  Chase turned and retreated to the car.

  Once he disappeared on the other side of the dune, Ryan turned away from me and I hurried out, cursing the cold air that bit away at my skin. I grabbed hold of his shoulders and walked directly behind him.

  “She’s such a bitch,” he said as we hurried toward the car.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because she can be.”

  “That’s a terrible answer.”

  He laughed. “No, seriously. People don’t ever speak up when it comes to her. They allow her to be awful. You don’t and she hates that. And,” he continued. “She sees the way Chase looks at you and it drives her crazy.”

  “How does he look at me?”

  “Like you’re his.”

  I said nothing, though his words brought a tiny sliver of warmth to my frigid body.

 

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