by J. Nathan
I thought about the jar now hidden in the closet and all the private wishes I’d made for myself before starting here at Crestwood. “Get a tattoo.”
“Yeah? What would you get?”
I shrugged. “Not sure. Something meaningful.”
“I like that one. Tell me more.”
“Oh…I don’t know…normal college stuff… steal the school mascot…pull an all-nighter...watch the sun rise…skip a class.”
“Skip a class?”
I shrugged. “I’ve never done it before.”
He snickered. “What else?”
“Go to a fortune teller…have a picnic on the beach...go sledding on a dining hall tray.”
“Not much snow in Texas.”
“Stranger things have happened,” I said, meaning more than just snow in Texas.
“They certainly have.” He flashed me a lop-sided grin, reading my mind. “Does anything in that jar mention hooking up with a frat guy?”
“Absolutely not. Frat guys have STDs.”
“I do think I’ve heard that somewhere before,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.
I tucked my head beneath his chin as he held me to him. “But I think I do have one about falling asleep in a hot guy’s arms.”
“Are you calling me hot?” he asked.
“Maybe.”
He laughed again.
That was one of the last things I remembered before sleep pulled me under.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The next morning, I woke with my arm and leg draped over Chase, who slept soundly beside me. I twisted instinctively to check Chantel’s bed. It was empty. If she’d come back and found Chase and me in bed together, that would’ve been very bad.
I slowly pulled away from Chase and climbed off the bed, careful not to wake him. I grabbed his shirt from the floor and tugged it on, swiped my toothpaste and toothbrush from my closet shelf, and ducked out of the room.
When I returned from the bathroom, Chase sat on the edge of my bed, wringing his hands in front of him, his hair an adorable mess. He glanced up at me through his eyelashes. “I thought you bailed.”
“And left you in my room? That would’ve been the worst move ever.”
His eyes moved to the shirt I wore. “I like you in my shirt.”
I glanced down at his shirt, which hung over my hands and down to my knees.
He crooked his finger at me.
I placed my toothpaste and toothbrush down on my desk and climbed onto his lap, straddling him.
“I have a confession to make,” he said.
I stilled, preparing myself for the worst.
“I took a shot of your mouthwash.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded.
“Does that mean you plan on kissing me?”
He nodded again, his dimples pinching the sides of his mouth.
I whispered. “Where?”
He reached his hand to the back of my head and drew my mouth to his, this time pulling my top lip between his and sucking on it gently. I waited him out as he moved to my bottom lip, doing the same. I closed my eyes, surrendering myself to his mercy. His tongue swept into my mouth, and only then did I join in, relaxing into him as he deepened the kiss, our tongues melding together.
His phone pinged somewhere nearby.
He reluctantly pulled back. “I’m sorry. I just need to check this.” He reached for his phone on my desk and checked the screen. “Fuck.”
“Something wrong?”
He paused, indecision flashing in his eyes. “I need to head home.”
I felt everything inside me deflate. “Oh.”
“Not home to the frat, home home.”
“Oh.” I climbed off his lap and leaned against my desk. “Is everything all right?”
He gathered his shoes and put them on. “Yeah. It will be.”
Though the sight of him shirtless in broad daylight stole my breath away, I pulled off his shirt and handed it back to him.
Instead of taking the shirt, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist as I stood between his knees in my bra and panties. He placed soft kisses to my bare stomach like he had the previous night. My knees weakened, and I hoped they didn’t buckle. “I really don’t want to leave.”
“Then don’t.”
With a huff, he pulled back and took his shirt from my hand. I stepped back, and he pulled it over his head. “I really am sorry.”
“It’s fine. I had a nice time last night.”
He quirked his brow. “Nice?”
“Very nice?”
“Oh, very nice.” He smirked. “That’s an improvement.” He stood from my bed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him one last time.
He lowered his nose and nuzzled it against mine before dropping a kiss to my lips. Regret shone in his eyes when he pulled away. He grabbed his backpack from my chair and went to the door, stopping before walking out. “If I’m not in class tomorrow, I’ll try to give you a call.”
“You don’t think you’ll be back?”
He shrugged. “I just never know.” And then he was gone, disappearing into the hallway.
I fell onto my bed and inhaled deeply. Last night had been amazing. I just wished I wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop.
***
Rain trickled down as Valerie and I ducked beneath our hoodies on our way to the dining hall for lunch.
“Do you know how bad I wanted to text you last night to hear what was going on?” she said.
I laughed. “You mean, you didn’t come by and put your ear to the door?”
She laughed. “I thought about it.” Her eyebrows bounced. “Did you guys…?”
I shook my head, not feeling like getting into the whole virginity thing. Sure, we were getting closer, but it wasn’t something I openly discussed—unless provoked by an evil roommate.
“I’ve never seen him hold Chantel’s hand,” she said. “Or seek her out. And, the only time I’ve seen him show her any affection was that night you showed up thinking he sent the Uber.”
“Seriously?”
“Oh, yeah. They were never touchy-feely. They were the complete opposite of how he was with you last night.”
A strange sense of satisfaction washed over me as we made our way into the dining hall, shaking off the light rain that clung to our hoodies. We grabbed sandwich wraps and chocolate cake and found a table by the window.
“So?” she said.
“So what?”
“What did you do?” she asked.
I hesitated, unsure how much I wanted to say. “Well, when we left the party, we walked across campus.”
Her brows furrowed, as if she wanted chocolate but got vanilla instead.
“It was nice,” I said. “He brought me to the roof of one of the buildings. I think it was Salvador Hall. The one with the castle roof.”
I watched her swallow down hard.
“Have you ever been up there?” I asked, before biting into my cake.
She shook her head, her eyes growing distant.
“He said they take their pledges up there.”
Her eyes focused on the untouched vegetable wrap on her plate. “He shouldn’t be talking about pledge stuff.”
“Do the Alpha Phis do that?”
Her eyes flashed up, fear swirling in them.
“Did you have to stand on the ledge and recite your motto?”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Why are you asking me this?”
Aw, shit. What had I stumbled upon? I reached across the table and placed my hand over hers. “Oh, honey, you can talk to me. What’s going on?”
She tugged her hand away. “Don’t,” she whispered. “People are always watching.”
I glanced around the room. Some of her sisters were at a nearby table. While some of them were in the middle of conversations, others definitely looked our way. I looked back to her, speaking softly. “Did someone threaten you?”
“Ple
ase stop asking me questions.” Valerie jumped to her feet. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Valerie.” I went to stand up.
“Stay here,” she said through clenched teeth. “Just let me go.”
“But—”
She spun away from me and hurried out the doors.
I glanced to the table filled with her sisters. All of them watched her go.
What the hell were they hiding?
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Monday sucked.
One. Valerie had been ignoring my calls since lunch the previous day, and she wouldn’t answer her door when I stopped by. Two. Chase didn’t show up to History through Film. Nor had I seen or heard from him since he left my room yesterday morning. Three. Chantel returned while I was at class and cleaned out everything on her side of the room, apparently moving out. Actually, three wasn’t so bad.
On Tuesday, I went to classes, received no calls or texts from Chase or Valerie, and ate alone.
“Hey, Sophia!”
I twisted around. Ryan jogged toward me outside the dining hall after my dinner alone. “Hi.”
“Hey, so…I just wanted to explain what you saw Saturday night,” he said, his eyes focused on his sneakers.
“What did I see?” I asked, completely confused.
He glanced up, lowering his voice. “In my room.”
“What about your room?”
He cocked his head, his eyes examining my face. He had to see I had no idea what he was talking about. “Oh. I guess…you know what? Never mind.”
“O-kay,” I said.
“So, you and Chase?”
I shrugged, not really sure what to say.
“He’s a good guy. But, good luck dealing with Chantel. That’s gonna be a whole different story.”
Wednesday, I threw my hair into a messy ponytail and trudged across campus toward History through Film. I’d never felt more alone. I wasn’t the type to beg people to want to be with me, so I was waiting on Chase to call and Valerie to come around. But it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.
I entered class, stopping short in the doorway. The person coming in behind me bumped into me as I stopped. I glanced over my shoulder at her. “Sorry.” I stepped into the classroom and moved down the aisle to my seat.
Chase sat in his seat, his eyes on his phone.
It took everything in me not to ask why he’d dropped off the face of the earth after leaving me on Sunday morning. But I pulled it together, sat down, and grabbed my laptop out of my bag.
“Hey,” he said.
I didn’t look at him. “Hi.”
“How are you?”
I opened my laptop. “Peachy.”
“So…” He began. “Friday?”
I opened a blank document on my computer.
“Valerie said it’s your birthday,” he explained. “Can I take you out?”
My eyes finally cut to his. “You spoke to Valerie?”
“Yeah.”
“But, you didn’t speak to me?”
He sighed. “I just ran into her.”
“Just as in this morning or whenever you returned?” My eyes narrowed. “When was that by the way?”
“This morning.”
I nodded, letting the knowledge settle.
“So, what do you say, Soph? Can I take you out?”
I tipped my head, studying his face. Did he really not understand my confusion—make that frustration? “Do you plan on disappearing between now and then?”
He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip as he thought about my question.
“Because I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to just, I don’t know, expect a phone call when you’re on your way back so I at least know you’re alive.”
“Soph—”
“Look, I’m not trying to sound like a bitch. But I thought we came to an understanding Saturday night. But maybe that was just me thinking something was going on when it really wasn’t.”
He opened his mouth to respond.
“But I get it. You just got out of a relationship and you have family issues you need to tend to.”
“I—”
“No need to explain. But if you don’t mind, I’ve had a pretty shitty start to the week. Between you disappearing, Valerie ghosting me, and Chantel moving out, I really just need a break from the drama.”
“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” Professor Irons said as he walked into the room.
I turned to look at him.
“Your papers were fantastic,” Professor Irons began. “The analogies you made between the two films as well as your keen eye to detail made them a pure pleasure to read. If you haven’t checked the portal yet, your grades are in.”
I pulled up the portal on my screen. I could sense Chase leaning in and looking over at my screen. Professor Irons’ remarks read: The A+ you deserved last time.
“Nice job, Soph,” Chase said, knowing I did the paper on my own after he ditched me for the second movie.
I didn’t look at him. I needed time to figure out what to say. What to think. What to feel. There were so many red flags when it came to Chase Reed, and the fact that he hadn’t apologized as soon as I walked in for his radio silence, told me he didn’t get it.
Professor Irons released us early, so I gathered my things and stood up to go.
“So, what should we do Friday?” Chase asked as he followed me out of the classroom and down the hallway to the stairwell.
“I’m not really sure doing something’s a good idea.”
“Come on, Soph. Cut me some slack.”
“Cut you some slack? Need I remind you that you just disappeared without a word for three days? And, how about our rocky start? How do I know those weren’t all warning signs telling me this is a very bad idea?” I hurried down the stairs.
“You can’t do that. You can’t throw the past in my face. How are we supposed to move forward if you do that?”
I stepped outside and stopped to glare at him. “Is that what we’re doing?”
He pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me as people headed in all different directions around us. “I’m sorry.”
Needing to see if his apology was sincere, I pulled my head back and looked up.
He looked down at me. “I’ve got shit to deal with at home that I don’t talk about. It has nothing to do with you, so I try to keep that life and this life separate. Can I just ask you to be patient with me and not throw it in my face? I never meant to hurt you.”
I stared into his eyes, so earnest and thoughtful. Ugh, I hated myself for being unable to resist his damn charm. “Will you ever be able to tell me what’s going on at home?”
He nodded. “I just need time.”
I thought about what he was asking. Could I give him time? Could I not ask questions or take things personally?
“What do you say?” he asked.
Damn you, dreamy blue eyes. I didn’t want to be mad at him. But I also didn’t want him to break my heart. And everything about him told me he’d break my heart. But being a glutton for punishment, I nodded.
He leaned down and captured my lips, kissing me slow, like we had all the time in the world. I was lost in the kiss—not to mention his minty breath and rock-hard chest—when someone whistled, yanking me back to reality. We were standing in the middle of campus in between classes and people were moving all around us.
I pulled out of the kiss.
“Thank you, Soph. I won’t let you down.”
I turned and began walking.
He jogged to keep up. “Come by the frat tonight?”
“Why?”
“I missed you.”
“I guess you should’ve called.”
He laughed, knowing I wasn’t letting that one slide. “Seriously. I wanna hang out.”
“Is that right?”
He smirked, and when he smirked at me like that, I knew, come hell or high water, I’d be there.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I l
ightly tapped on the front door of Kappa Sigma. I’d never been there when there wasn’t loud music blaring from the windows and tons of people filling the rooms. But as I pushed open the front door, I found none of that. My footsteps creaked on the old wooden floor as I made my way into the house. A few guys played video games in the living room. But besides that, no one was around.
One of them glanced up from his game. “Who you looking for?”
“Chase.”
“Try the basement,” another said.
I walked to the basement door and made my way downstairs. Normally, bodies and spilled beer filled the dance floor. Now, it was just a big empty room.
Smack. Smack.
I looked around the basement and realized the sound was coming through an open door at the far end of the room that I’d never noticed before.
I moved toward it.
Smack. Smack.
I stepped into the open doorway and stilled.
Holy shit.
Chase, shirtless and sweaty, punched a punching bag that hung from the ceiling. He didn’t notice me right away, so I watched him annihilate the bag, his fists relentless.
I knew he was built. I’d been privy to a front-row, show-and-tell session in my bed Saturday night. But this display of hotness and power was something else entirely. The sweat gave his muscles definition I hadn’t noticed before. An X-rated vision of what I’d like to be doing with him pressed against me flashed through my mind.
“You gonna tell me what you’re thinking about?” Chase asked.
I shook off the vision to find him standing there with his arms crossed. My eyes drank him in. “I…um…”
Dimples pinched into the sides of his mouth deeper than I’d ever seen them.
“Do you do this often?” Stupid question.
“Uh huh.”
“So, you’re a boxer in your free time?”
He smiled. “No, but I’d be a damn good one.”
I walked into the room and straddled a nearby weight bench, awaiting more of the show. “Well, don’t let me stop you.”
He watched me settle onto the bench. “I didn’t know what time you were coming over. I can go get showered.”
“So soon?”
He stared at me, trying to figure out what I was getting at. Instead of beating the hell out of the bag some more, he walked over and straddled the weight bench so he faced me. “Hi.”
