by steve higgs
‘Nice car.’ she said breaking the spell like a pin to a bubble. I twitched the wheel as my focus returned and I realised I had not paid the slightest attention to the road for the last few minutes.
‘Thank you. It is a little impractical, but I love it.’
‘Do you put the dogs in it?’
‘Yes. They sit on the passenger seat quite happily although I never take them very far. To the park and back or the vets when their jabs are due. Mostly they curl up and go to sleep.’
Amanda lapsed into silence, her line of conversation seemingly exhausted and we finished the short journey back to my house without speaking again.
My House. Sunday September 26th 1215hrs
The dogs performed their usual routine of barking excitedly as we entered the house followed by tearing off towards the back door. I let them out and shut the door, the sound of their feet on the decking ceasing as they hit the grass.
Back inside, Amanda was leaning on my desk looking at pictures pinned to the wall. I had printed off several I got from Liam the tosser.
‘Tempest, where did you get these pictures?’
‘Liam Goldhind, the man that found the second victim. Whomever the Police had conduct the investigation and deal with the crime scene failed to confiscate his phone, or whatever it is the Police do, because he had over a hundred pictures of Mrs Hancock on it.’
‘These should be in Police hands, they may be important.’
‘You can have copies of everything. I assumed the Police would have their own pictures.’
‘We will have. Every bit of evidence though…’
‘Well, just let me know what you want or if you want to get someone in to make copies. Whatever.’
Bull, then Dozer appeared at the back door looking to come back in. It was nearing lunchtime so they would try to convince me that they needed something to eat. My own stomach rumbled lightly at the thought.
‘I’m going to put the kettle on and make a sandwich, can I interest you in anything?’ I asked Amanda over my shoulder as the dogs whizzed between my legs.
‘Both sound great.’ she replied. She was still looking at the pictures of Mrs Hancock, her hands tucked into her back pockets as she leaned forward to scrutinise something in one of the photographs.
I passed her on my way to the kitchen where the dogs were excitedly dancing in front of the fridge looking hopeful. As I strode past them to the kettle they swivelled to maintain eye contact and began dancing again once I had filled the kettle, switched it on and turned back to face them.
‘Carrot?’ I enquired.
No answer came, but I made an assumption based on experience that they would eat anything that came out of the fridge so fished out a decent sized carrot, snapped it in half and chucked the two pieces into the lounge. Their paws slipped a few times as they propelled themselves from stationary to full speed on the stone floor. As I snagged the milk from the fridge door I could hear crunching from the next room.
Amanda wandered through from the dining room/office just as I was pouring hot water into two mugs.
‘Two sweeteners, right?’
‘Yes, please.’
Tea on the breakfast bar I gathered bread and butter, ham and cheese, lettuce and pickles and the general accoutrements and tracklements that made sandwiches so very interesting.
‘Help yourself, please.’ I invited as I cut several slices from a farmhouse style loaf and furnished her with a plate.
As Amanda began to butter some bread I fetched an A4 pad and pen and began to make notes of what she had already told me about the latest murder victims. Where they had been picked up, where they had been found, probability of a third person in the Taxi who was most likely the perpetrator.
I had lots of questions which I now started to jot down.
Names of victims?
Any connection between them? – seems unlikely
Witnesses to the taxi driver making his pick-up? – interview other taxi drivers from last night to see if anyone saw them
Is there CCTV outside the club? – probably
Did it catch a view of the killer?
I could have kept going for quite a while.
‘Do you need to be anywhere this afternoon, Amanda?
‘There is nothing I cannot cancel,’ she answered without actually answering the question.
I had several simultaneous lines of thought. The first thought was that I could get Amanda to supply me with information from the investigation since Darren Shrivers was out of town and thus not available, then it occurred to me that it was Sunday and I might be able to get Amanda to stay for dinner, which was a pleasing prospect as I could not deny my attraction to her.
However, before any of my thoughts could coalesce into a sentence I heard the front door handle turn. The dogs heard it to and were up and off and running through the house to see off the intruders… who turned out to be my parents.
‘Ah.’ I said to no one, rather brainlessly.
Mother was in the house now and pulling off her coat and bending down to undo the laces on her walking boots.
‘Yes, yes. Hello, Bull. Hello, Dozer. No, I don’t need a wash, thank you.’ Mother advised the dogs.
‘Move your bum please, Mary. So I can get in, would you?’ this from my Dad.
‘Give me a moment Michael. I’m taking off my boots.’ answered Mother with a little impatience and irritation.
‘Well then shut the door, Mary. You are letting all the cold air in. It’s not like I can get around your bum, is it? It fills the door.’
‘Shut yer face.’ was the instant reply, accompanied by a punch to his ribs.
Dad made a suitable ouch noise to placate his wife but shoved her over the threshold and into the house anyway. The door slammed shut behind him.
‘Amanda,’ I whispered. ‘Their eyesight is largely based on movement. If we stay still they might not see us.’
‘Hmm?’ was all I got in reply accompanied by a single raised eyebrow. She had no idea what I had just referenced. I actually felt a little disappointed.
‘Hello, Mother.’ I called through from the kitchen.
‘Hello, Tempest.’ came her reply. She had still not looked across to see that I had company. ‘We thought we would stop in on our way to pick sweet chestnuts, see if you wanted to join us. You did say you might not be in so we were just going to get the…oh.’ Having finally finished faffing with coat and boots and looked in my direction Mother had spotted Amanda. That she had actually been silenced mid-flow was something to make a note of.
‘Michael.’ Mother was staring at Amanda and I and motioning desperately behind her for her husband. Dad was taking his boots off and paying no attention.
‘Michael!’ this time with a bit more insistence behind it.
I was clearing the chunk of sandwich from my mouth so that I could speak when Amanda beat me to it.
‘Hi. I’m Amanda.’ she said advancing across the room to shake my Mother’s hand.
I saw Dad jerk his head forward to look past my Mother’s legs having heard Amanda speak. Mother had taken Amanda’s hand and was now examining her like one might a prize sheep before buying it.
‘How you doing, kid?’ asked dad from the floor.
‘Fine, Dad.’ I called through not taking my eyes from Mother and Amanda.
‘Mother, Amanda is a Police Officer, she is assisting with a case I am working on, nothing else.’
‘So, you didn’t stay the night?’ my Mother asked Amanda like it was perfectly normal thing to enquire.
‘Mary!’ cried Dad from the floor. ‘You cannot ask such questions.’
‘Why ever not, Michael? It is a simple yes or no answer. How am I ever going to get grandchildren if he never has a woman stay over? Besides,’ Mother said turning her attention to me ‘I thought you and Deborah hit it off last night.’
Amanda had retrieved her hand and had taken a step back, electing I suspected to get some room between her and the crazy woman.
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‘Well, I have to say that I did not spend the night last night or any other night I’m afraid. Of course, Tempest hasn’t gotten around to asking me yet.’ On saying this Amanda turned around to grab her tea from the breakfast bar behind her and winked at me with an amused smile. I could not read the wink. My brain told me she was winking to say that she was playing along and the wink was conspiratorial, the voice in my pants was utterly convinced the wink meant that she was instructing me to get on and invite her for sex because she was only here for that and growing impatient. Amanda was clearly quite entertained by my plight and mouthed in mock anger, ‘Who is Deborah?’ Well, at least I had discovered that Amanda had a sense of humour, even if it was at my expense.
I had to bury my face in miserable exasperation at this point though. I was going to try very hard to explain to my Mother that Deborah was a whale and that there was no way on Earth I would entertain a liaison with her, but I already knew that it was futile endeavour.
‘Mother I will make this as clear as I can and hope with absolute desperation that you listen to the words I am saying: I have no interest in Deborah. I did my best to be pleasant to her while she was a guest at your house, but we did not exchange numbers.’
‘I already gave her your number.’ Mother said over the top of me.
‘I will not be making any plans to see her and I implore you to stop ambushing me with blind dates at your house when I come over for dinner.’ I turned to Amanda wearing a weary expression. ‘Sorry about this.’
‘Whatever is wrong with Deborah?’ demanded my Mother.
‘Leave the boy alone, Mary.’ demanded my Dad knowing of course that my Mother would completely ignore him.
‘Mother.’ I started. I had my hand on my forehead wondering how to explain this in terms that she would understand. ‘Mother Debbie and I are incompatible. I put my belt on using my hands and Debbie has to use a boomerang.’
‘You mean you don’t like her because she is fat?’ Mother had pursed her lips now and was looking annoyed.
‘Mother Debbie is not fat. Debbie is what fat people become when they dedicate themselves to really testing the elasticity of their skin. Debbie looks like she was one of triplets but ate the other two. Debbie is so fat that even her eyebrows are overweight. I don’t have an issue with big ladies, but I have no intention of having sex with them just because you want more grandchildren.
Mother, stood still in the middle of the kitchen, seemed to be considering her last statement. Amanda was sipping her tea, I was trying to work out how to get Mother away from the subject but thankfully dad came to the rescue. ‘I need a cup of tea.’ he announced loudly.
‘Good idea, Dad.’ I said, turning to refill the kettle. ‘Amanda if you had not already gathered this is my Dad and my Mother. They are both a little odd.’
‘Pleased to meet you both.’ Amanda said.
‘Are you single then?’ asked my Mother, sticking with the same singular line of thought. I rolled my eyes. I should probably think myself lucky that Mother has not yet asked if she is ovulating.
‘Erm, yes actually.’ Amanda then did her best to deflect my Mother by speaking to my Dad. ‘Did I hear your first name is Michael?’ she asked ‘Which makes your name Michael Michaels. Never heard that combination before.’
‘Well, Tempest’s middle name is,’
‘Danger.’ she completed his sentence. ‘Dare I ask what your middle name is?’
‘You can my dear, but I’ll never tell. At least not while the lights are on.’ Dad’s cheeky smile was short lived as Mum flicked her hand at his spuds and struck home.
Dad instantly sagged against a kitchen cupboard, one hand on the counter, one hand on his nuts. Mother had turned her back on him and was moving to the cupboard where I keep the tea and cups.
‘Sorry about this, Amanda.’ I managed. ‘I would like to claim that this is unusual behaviour, but I cannot.’
The kettle flicked on behind me as Mother busied herself making tea. Dad was recovering and managed to straighten himself to get to one of the breakfast bar chairs. Amanda had to take a sidestep so he could sit.
‘Amanda, shall we take our sandwiches and retreat back to the study?’ I asked already gathering my plate and mug.
On the way to the study, which is just about ten paces my phone rang. I juggled my tea and plate, trying to free a hand to fish for my phone, but had to accept defeat and dump the tea mug on the first available surface I found, which was a stair. I had long ago given up putting anything edible on the floor as I always found a Dachshund on it or in it a few seconds later. Tea was an absolute favourite of theirs and I had been mugged while watching TV on the sofa in the past - eyes on the box the dachshund would take advantage of my distraction and dive headfirst into the mug resting on my leg. I would only discover my tea was beyond saving when the sound of frantic lapping got to my ears.
Hand finally available, I retrieved the phone from my back pocket, saw the name Jagjit on the screen and pressed the answer icon.
‘Hey, man.’
‘Dude!’ came the usual reply. ‘What are you up to later? I got a cool movie to watch and a pack of beer.’
‘It is Cobra?’
‘Suck it douchebag. Just because I am Indian it does not mean I have to drink Indian beer.’
‘It’s Cobra, isn’t it?’ I said laughing.
‘You are such a dickhead, Tempest.’ his voice now whining.
I said nothing, forcing him to answer the question.
‘Okay yes, it is Cobra, but that is just because it is what my Dad bought.’
‘You want food? I have some T-bones in the freezer I can take out.’
‘You know it man. Six o’clock work for you?’
‘You mean 1800hrs? Sure.’
‘1800hrs? You are such a robot.’ he disconnected. Looks like I have a hot date for the evening.
‘So, where were we?’ I asked Amanda, who had now finished both her sandwich and her mug of tea and was looking over some of the printed pages I had on my desk.
‘The Brotherhood of the Dead? This is an actual thing?’ she asked, holding up the club flier I had.
‘Apparently so. I did some research and found that there is a whole vampire-wannabe network of clubs. Each has a founding member that is supposed to be an actual vampire and they meet and dress up and pretend to be vampires, do LARP and that sort of thing. It is probably no connection to the recent murders, it was just something I stumbled across when I was poking around.’
It was time for me to press Amanda for some help. I was a little uncomfortable asking her as I had no favour to offer in return at this time, but I needed better information than I was getting.
‘You remember that you offered to help fill in the blanks in my investigation?’
‘Yes. I think I can do that.’
‘Well, I guess it is time to earn your keep.’
I explained as best I could that I was used to getting information from a friend at the Maidstone station without giving away any details about the person. Amanda said that in principle sharing information, as long as it was not sensitive or personal to the victim was permissible and she would see what she could do.
I asked her specifically for as much detail as she could give me regarding the Brian Grazly murder and outlined what I already knew, which was what the papers had reported only.
‘I will go to the station this afternoon and will get back to you once I have something. Now though I think I will make good my escape before your Mother asks if I am ovulating today.’ she said with a laugh.
Her laughter was like music, but the best music I had ever heard. Everything about her was just fantastic.
‘I’ll see you out.’
Amanda still had her boots on and all the things she came with were still in her pockets. As we neared the door she pulled her keys from her jacket pocket, paused, leaned in through the kitchen door frame and then back out again.
‘Want to give your Mother something t
o talk about?’
‘Hummh?’ I grunted questioningly wondering what she was asking me.
‘Nice to meet you both.’ Amanda called through to the kitchen.
Mother appeared suddenly from behind the kitchen counter ‘Oh, are you leaving, Dear.’ enquired my Mother advancing towards us.
‘Yes, I have work to do.’
‘On a Sunday?’ asked my Mother horrified.
‘Police work is never done I’m afraid. Got to be going then.’ she said. Then waved to my parents, leaned in and kissed me on the lips.
I was so taken by surprise that I dropped my tea cup. It thunked on the carpet, somehow not breaking.
She winked again as she broke the kiss and with a little laugh she opened the door, waved once more and was gone.
I closed the door behind her and slowly turned back towards my kitchen deep in thought. What the hell had the kiss been about? It was only a peck on the lips but did that mean she was interested? Surely, she must be? Not because I am fantastic but because why else would she kiss me? Surely, she must know how she looks and what effect she has on men in general? Or did it mean nothing and that was just for show? Again, with the wink.
Still thinking, I realised I was stood still in the entry hall and that I was being watched. I looked up to find both parents staring at me from inside the kitchen and both dogs staring at me from the floor. The dogs wagged their tails as I made eye contact with them.
‘Um.’ I said, showing off my huge intellect.
‘She has great hips, Tempest.’ said my Mother ‘And good breasts.’
