'I really don't know what we're going to do with Max. He's developed so many bad habits from being a long term resident. People take him home for a day and then bring him back. It's happened twice now,' Kat says.
I look at him in his kennel. He barks at me. He's been pigeonholed as a troublemaker, when I know that under that exterior is someone who wants someone to love them and not leave. He's me as a dog.
I ring Harry as this is something that I can't be independent on.
'I wondered how long it would be. Of course you can.'
I turn to Kat.
'I'm taking Max home. Just give me a day to buy everything he needs.'
Saturday 15 November 2014
'Ronnie. This way. Show us the dog.'
Max is instantly famous. He knows exactly how to pose for the camera. It's weird.
'So why did you decide to get a dog now, after all this time?'
'Well I've got bored with pussies. I decided I'd try another man.'
'Got bored with Harry already?'
'Hey, wifey.' Harry says, appearing at the door. 'I'm to be the only man in our bed okay?'
'Yes of course,' I tell him, fingers crossed behind my back.
Sunday 16 November 2014
'Happy birthday, dear Sam, Happy birthday to you.'
'Woof, woof. Arooooooooo.'
'You got a dog? Can I see it? Lift him up. Oh he's so cute. I want one. I've wanted one for ages. I play with the one next door all the time and I'm really good with him.'
'Sam.'
'Yeah?'
'What's it like to be nine?'
'Not much different to eight, except my Dad says I can wash up now, so that sucks.'
'There's some dishes for you now, Sam,' says Mike.
'Are you freaking joking? On my birthday?'
'Kitchen now.'
Sam stomps off and myself and Mike smile.
There’s a squeal from the kitchen then a voice in the background shouts 'A puppy. You got me a puppy?'
'Ronnie got you a puppy. I agreed though, so you owe thanks to us both.' Mike shouts back.
Sam walks in clutching his puppy tenderly. He looks like he's going to cry. The puppy is a Poodle/Chihuahua mix from a local shelter. I did some looking online, and a lot of texting with Mike. Mike felt it would be a good thing for the family.
'So she has a name, but you can change it.'
'What is it?'
'They called her Hershey, because she looked so sweet.'
'That's a good name, but I think I'll call her Elektra.'
'Elektra?'
'He's been watching Daredevil.'
'I've seen nearly every superhero film there is now, haven't I, Dad?'
'Yeah, and if you want to get the actual Elektra film, Sam, that's okay with me.' He whispers at the screen, 'Jennifer Garner dressed up. It sucks having to watch these films with him.' He winks.
'Well I hope you have a lot of fun with Elektra. That's Elektra the puppy. I'm talking to Sam now Mike. I've also sent you a how to care for your puppy book and you must read it.'
'I will. Why do you grownups think kids don't want to learn anything? I will find out all about Elektra, but probably from Google, rather than your old fashioned book. I'll keep it for the cute pictures though.'
He goes running off after his escaping puppy.
'I'll see you next month at the wedding Mike.'
'Sure. Nina is coming over did she tell you?'
'She did. I'm travelling down earlier to help with a few things, otherwise we could have travelled down together.'
'She's been offered a job down here for a while. You know that show she came with before? They're doing a full series.'
I know this from Nina. Why blokes haven't sussed we talk about everything yet I don't know.
'What do you think about that?'
'I think it's great. I don't want to put any pressure on her though.'
'Just keep dating and see how it turns out. Why not ask her to move nearby?'
'Do you think she would?'
I know she would and that it's her plan.
'I'm sure she would.'
'Thanks, Ronnie.'
'You're welcome. See you soon.'
I call Nina straight away to let her know what he said.
'Ooooh.'
'I know. So when does the job start?'
'It would be in the New Year, probably late January. I'll have a look for accommodation when I'm over in December.'
'I want to be Chief Bridesmaid. I so match-made you two.'
'I'm going now. You've gone off into a fantasy land.'
I start singing Bruno Mars Marry You and she hangs up. It's probably due to my voice more than anything. I'm sure my wine glass just wobbled.
Monday 17 November 2014
It's a sad day today. I'm sitting in Sophie's lounge and I've just told her that I'm giving up the bungalow. It's silly me keeping it on, when I spend most of my time at Harry's now.
'I've been waiting for this day. I knew it was coming.' says Sophie, 'It's fine. I'm going to invite my niece down to stay for a while. Her and her mother, my sister, aren't seeing eye to eye at the moment. It'll give me a chance to catch up with her, and she can have some space. Her mother can't take the fact she's growing up.'
'I'll miss you so much though Sophie. You've been like a mum and best friend all rolled into one.'
Sophie turns away, biting on her lip.
'I'm still going to be visiting you all the time though. You don't get rid of me that easily.'
'Actually, I was going to ask if you'd take over the gardening of the property. I've not been too happy with my regular gardener. I wonder if you'd handle all the grounds, rather than one vegetable patch?'
'I would be honoured.'
Sophie gets a bottle of wine out. 'I think we should toast to new beginnings then.'
'Definitely. New beginnings. I think we should find you a man as well, Sophie. I've match made Nina and Mike. I reckon it's your turn next.'
'What makes you think I don't have a man, Ronnie?' Sophie looks at me coyly from under her lashes.
'Sophie Weston,' tell all.
Sophie does. It seems she's got rather friendly with Scott, the Manager of Rosebush Dog Sanctuary.
Tuesday 18 November 2014
I'm starting my intensive driving course today!
Wednesday 19 November 2014
I've been sent home from the intensive driving course because apparently you can't yell hurry up, you fucking skank out of the window if you see a Z-list celebrity called Pheely crossing the road in front of you.
Tuesday 25 November 2014
Merry Christmas!
No you aren't going insane, although I thought I was when I came home to find the grounds of the house covered in twinkling lights, with inflatable Father Christmases and Snowmen. Harry has the fire lit and there is a huge tree. It reaches the ceiling.
'What's going on, you lunatic? It's November.'
'Yes, well your friend has taken over Christmas with her wedding. We'll still be in New York, won't we? So I thought we'd celebrate our first Christmas together here, a month early.'
'You romantic, you. I love it.'
'Before we celebrate though, look what's on the television. I never saw it. Can we watch?'
It's the house programme repeated. Harry looks really keen so I sit through it, even though it breaks my heart.
Programme over, Harry turns to me.
'You really loved that house, didn't you?'
'Yeah.'
'So how would you feel about that being our house? Our first joint marital home?'
'But you have a home. Plus it's not for sale anymore.'
'My home is wherever you are, Mrs Taylor, plus yes, it is for sale. I called them earlier. It's had two previous offers that have fallen through.'
'Really. We could get it? Then yes. Yes, I would love that house.'
Harry reaches into his pocket and fishes out a set of keys.
&nbs
p; 'Thank fuck,' He hands me the keys. 'Merry Christmas.'
'What if I'd said no?' The smile on my face however proves this was never going to happen. I jump on Harry's lap and fling my arms around him.
'I'd have sold it, or rented it. Anyway I thought it was a good gamble after I saw your face on that programme.'
I frown. 'But you've only just seen it.'
Harry rewinds the programme in front of me.
'It was a recording? It's not on the TV now at all? You lying swine. How can I ever trust you again?'
Harry laughs. 'Come and eat your Turkey and be a good girl. I might let you punish me later—if you're lucky.'
In bed later I think back to last Christmas. It couldn't have been more different. Although in a long-term relationship I'd never felt so lonely in my life. Now, married to Harry in a heartbeat, I feel warm, happy and settled. Sometimes impulsive can be a good thing. Col's lie had been huge. Harry's was a white one, to get me the most amazing gift. I'm actually starting to like my life. Which is a good job, as the end of the year is nigh ...
CHAPTER 13
December 2014
End of year Review
Monday 1 December 2014
Harry kicked me out of the house. It happened this morning. He had my bags packed and escorted me out of the door himself.
He's booked me on a residential driving course. I've been warned to behave myself. Apparently he checked it all out and my instructor is a grey-haired woman in her late fifties. I've been warned that if I want to start my business this coming year, this is probably my last chance to learn. Yikes.
Friday 5 December 2014
I've passed. I think my instructor almost passed out. I can drive. I'm off to buy a white van tomorrow. I'm going to be a white van woman. Hahahaha.
Monday 8 December 2014
Daddy registered my Company for me. I had the name sign-written on my new van. It's sitting in the driveway right now. I have Harry blindfolded. Not for that, gosh you are so dirty minded, (though I did think it could serve two purposes). He stumbles a bit as I drag him in front of the van.
'Ta da.'
'Ladygardeners. Ronnie Taylor, I hope you did that on purpose.'
'Of course I did.' I elbow him. 'I started the year with a famous ladygarden and I'm ending it with my own team of Lady Gardeners, hence the name. It's tongue in cheek.'
'More like tongue in pussy.'
'Harry.'
'Woof, woof, woof.' Max comes out and pees up the wheel.
'I'll take that as you christening my van in your own way, Maxie, and not another example of your very naughty behaviour.'
He gives me puppy dog eyes. I pick him up and give him a cuddle.
Harry looks at me with puppy dog eyes.
'I'll cuddle you later.'
Monday 17 December 2014
I've been packing. I'll be heading off for Stella's wedding later this week. Harry will fly out the day before as he has television commitments to see to.
I take my diary out of the drawer and look over it. At the beginning of the year I had no sense of who I was as a person. I wanted to go to Stella's wedding as a confident, well-rounded woman. I'll be well rounded all right. I've put half a stone on with Harry's gorgeous cooking. First thing for the New Year is hitting the gym again. I need Harry's proper personal trainer. He offered to teach me himself, but we always end up doing a different kind of work out.
With Nina moving to New York I'll be short on the friend front again, but I have Sophie. Also I'll be recruiting for my business, and fingers crossed, I'll make friends with some like-minded females. We can talk about bushes all day long. Garden bushes that is (that's a lie).
Harry and I aren't going to try for a family for a few years yet. I'm only twenty-four and just starting to stand on my own two feet. We both agreed that I should spend time on the business before we invite the patter of tiny ones.
I flick through my diary. Some of it is hard to re-read. Like what happened with Rebecca. Other bits—such as seeing Sam's face as he got his present—are just amazing.
I pick up the manilla packet that arrived for me earlier and open it. A brand new diary. It smells lovely; dark blue, with a sleek cover.
Harry walks in.
'I thought you were packing?'
'I was. Then I took a little break to look over the last year. I think my Calendar Game worked out very well.'
'Of course it did. You got me.' He pushes me back onto the bed, my new diary is still in my hand.
'I thought next year, for January, I might get in touch with the people who put restraining orders on me. Like Ben. You know, go and apologise. Explain what I meant to do.'
'You're going to find them, investigate them, then go and see them, to explain why you stalked them?'
'Ah, well when you put it like that…'
Harry snatches the diary out of my hand and begins ripping the pages out.
'What are you doing?' I shriek, trying to grab it back.
'No more games for you Mrs Taylor, unless you want to attend a few football ones.'
I fake a yawn.
'That's what I thought. So I'll tell you now. The only thing you're doing next year… is me.'
I pull him towards me. The diaries fall on the floor, relegated.
THE END
SO WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER WEDDING?
So who misses Gabe and Stella? Gabe’s agreed to organise his wedding. Read on for a sneak peek of The Alphabet Wedding. Buy/Borrow here: http://getbook.at/alphabetwedding
What the hell was I thinking?
Why was there no-one there to stop me?
A period of possession.
Men never learn.
Imagine this. I’m in a room and standing close to three women. There’s my gorgeous doe-eyed fiancee Stella. Yeah, that’s maybe the problem right there. I’m pussy whipped. She’s with my mother Maddie and her best friend Ronnie.
What chance did I have?
Like going up against The Witches of Eastwick. That’s it. I’m Jack Nicholson. Bewitched.
Who can disappoint their own mother?
Who survives a Ronnie coercion tactic? That woman was born trouble. She probably winked at the Obstetrician as she was delivered.
This is my excuse as to why, as they discussed Stella’s complete lack of interest in organising a wedding, I walked past and said I’d do it. This is the exact moment. It’s etched into my mind now, like a scene of impending doom from a horror flick.
Flashback: Sat 3 May 2014
‘I’ve heard my name. What are you ladies up to?’
Ronnie looks at me. ‘Hear me out. Stella wants to marry you, but she hates all the wedding organising. She’s busy with Athena and it’s just not her thing. I’m suggesting you do it. Your Mother and I can help you.’
‘A wedding planner could just ask her what she wants.’
‘I’m really not interested in the ceremony itself Gabe. Can we not just go to City Hall for a civil ceremony?’ says Stella.
‘Oh please don’t. I want my friends and family to see my eldest son get wed. A wedding is a big event in my circles.’ begs Maddie.
I sit laughing at them both. My mother who wants a big occasion and Stella who doesn’t give a crap. I shake my head at the pair of them. ‘It can’t be that hard to make a few decisions. Christ, I’ll do it. When you’re walking down the aisle in just a sexy basque because I forgot to order the dress that will be your own fault.’ I tell Stella.
‘I don’t care.’ She responds. ‘Please organise it. Save me.’
‘Hey you could somehow connect it to the Alphabet,’ adds Ronnie. Sometimes I could happily strangle her.
‘Why would they want to do that?’ says my mother, who of course has no idea that we had truckloads of sex around twenty-six letters. Thank fuck, Ronnie realises her error for once, rather than steamrolling on.
‘Ah, just for a bit of fun? There’s usually a theme on the programme.’ She’s been citing Don’t Tell the Bride.
<
br /> ‘Do it.’ says Stella, clapping her hands together.
If she thinks I miss that triumphant little smirk on her face. The one that indicates she knows she’s playing me, she’s wrong. I got it loud and clear.
‘You’re on.’ I say. ‘Mother, you’d better be free to help.’
‘I bookmarked a few ideas. We could go into your office and I’ll show you my thoughts?’
‘Okay, but I’m going to show you I can do this on my own. Piece of cake.’ I stare Stella down. She obviously doesn’t believe I can do it by myself.
‘Is that right? We’ll see if you feel the same after the ceremony.’ says Stella.
So there you have it. The conversation that has left me in the eternal fires of damnation.
God damn it to hell.
I’m a twenty eight year old man. Not so much a cuckold as in a cockhold. One wink of a brown eye and I’m done for.
Which other mans to-do list has on it to purchase some pretty dresses? I’ll see if they can store my balls for me in the shop until after Christmas.
That’s right Christmas.
Wedding date Twenty-fourth of December, Two thousand and Fourteen.
Jingle bollocks.
To read the rest of The Alphabet Wedding. Buy/Borrow here: http://getbook.at/alphabetwedding
ALSO BY ANDIE M. LONG
THE ALPHA SERIES
The Alphabet Game (FREE ON ALL PLATFORMS)
iBooks: http://apple.co/1R1WETP
Amazon: http://getbook.at/alphabetgame
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1TNe5Jt
Nook: http://bit.ly/1rLVqYz
The Alphabet Game: Play It Playbook
http://getbook.at/playthealphabet
The Alphabet Wedding:
Amazon: http://getbook.at/alphabetwedding
The Calendar Game (The Alpha Series Book 2) Page 22
