How in the world he even had the sense to glance at the clock again he didn’t know. But he did, and they were down to twenty minutes. Shit.
“Damn, Emma.”
“I know,” she said in a raspy voice he adored.
He found her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed his back.
Their lack of sufficient time to lay there and soak up what had just happened prompted him to get up. He couldn’t rely on mere instinct that Gabe was watching the door. He had to be sure. Because after that inexplicable moment, Sam knew he had to take this all the way. He had to bring back her smile. Brighten the darkness that held his best friend in check.
“Stay. Right here. Don’t move. I’ll be right back,” he said.
“Okay,” was all she got out, and her voice was damn shaky.
Sam quickly got up and tried to act calm for her benefit. A second later and Gabe met him at the crack he made in the door. He made sure to whisper.
“You’re still out there,” Sam said.
“Yeah um, about that,” said Gabe, low.
“What?”
Gabe looked guilty and nervous which knotted Sam’s gut.
Gabe rubbed the back of his head and neck. “Donovan wanted in about two minutes ago.”
“You told him the room was occupied?”
“No, not exactly. I didn’t want to out you two.”
“You told him what then?”
“That he couldn’t because I was about to use it.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. And that he should take his guest someplace else because I was gonna be in there for a while. Sorry, I panicked, man. I was trying to buy you guys as much time as possible.”
“Nah, I appreciate it. But why do you look so nervous? You actually did me a big favor. You bought me much-needed time in there with her.”
“Yeah, see, that’s the part you’re not gonna like. Jay and his impeccable timing walked by and told me it was time to go pose for the post-show pics. Donovan told him I wouldn’t be making it to that because of my S room plans. So I need to actually be in S room. If they see me hanging around or leaving the club, the jig is up.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh,” said Gabe.
Damn. That was a big oh. Sam stood there thinking, debating, and remembering.
This was going to be the ultimate test of trust.
But letting Gabe inside with them was the only option they had right now.
“Give us one second,” he said to Gabe.
He needed to get her dressed. His plans for an amazing rest of their night had effectively been cut short. He hoped he’d done enough but knew from the way her eyes had stayed so dark that he’d failed. Damnit, he’d failed her. Again.
Chapter Eight
“Sam?” she asked. “What’s going on?”
“I know this is the last place you want to be. Get dressed and I’ll try to make it look like you were in here alone—”
She cut him off.
“Whatever’s happening right now, promise you’re not giving up. I won’t even say if…when it hurts me, Sam. I can get through it. I need to.”
He winced and the shadowed room painted him as brooding and sad, even after the amazing things they’d just done. The whites of his eyes flashed when he looked at her. He might even be afraid. “You don’t understand. I wanted to stay in here with you, Emma. But it’s not meant to be right now.”
Not meant to be. Right now. He should just say it.
“You mean ever. Why did you let me get so far, Sam?”
Do. Not. Cry.
A long pause.
She continued rubbing the ugly goose bumps from her arms but couldn’t avoid the sinking feeling from this massive letdown.
Then Luka’s disgustingly handsome face reared itself. “You’re right, this is the last place I wanna be.” She paused while he stared at her, his hand still on the doorknob. “But I’m here. And I thought you were here with me.”
“I am,” he said. “But it’s time to go.” He seemed antsy, his tone clipped. It looked and sounded odd on him as his grip on the doorknob tightened, making the skin of his tanned hand taut.
By her calculations, they still had some time. Why was he in such a hurry to leave? He bent down and tossed her the discarded shirt-dress. She looked at the clock. Ten minutes. It was enough time. Sam might have changed his mind about wanting her, which hurt more than she was able to admit, but who could blame him? She’d been unable to shake the sorrow this room gave her while they’d connected just now. It should have been total bliss, exploring with him like that. But if she let him leave right now, who else would she ever be able to talk to about this room? Sam was the only one. Maybe he only wanted out so badly because he’d taken her mood to mean she hadn’t enjoyed being here with him.
She had to give him the truth, no matter how humiliating.
A ducked head and refusal to maintain their earlier eye contact told her he could be stuck on the thought it was an aversion to him that made her skin crawl, being under this roof. God, Sam was not the one she feared.
Emma put herself in the bolted-down chair and took a few seconds to breathe, and then forget.
After several breaths, she gave up and scooted to sit cross-legged on the floor. She felt like a coward, but Sam joined her, abandoning the door for now.
“I don’t know how to tell you…we have to leave. We’re out of time,” he said. “You must get dressed.”
She must get dressed?
“Hold on, I just need a couple more minutes,” she said to him.
Tenderness replaced the brooding, but she still saw traces of uncertainty on his handsome face.
“I’m not in any way afraid of you. Come on, you’re the guy I sit on the balcony with while we compare toe sizes and personalities. Clearly I’m comfortable with you. What we just started, in here—”
“Bossy,” he said through the crack of a grin he probably hadn’t wanted to let slip. He kept checking the door. “And stubborn.” He didn’t smile yet but his eyes were more of the green and less white.
Yes, that’s what the wives tales said about her toes. “Touché,” she said.
Sam shifted his eyes to hers. “I’m sorry I took people in here. In front of you.”
That had just come out of nowhere, but he hadn’t said he was merely sorry for being walked in on so she appreciated it.
Because her best friend wasn’t a coward who would cop out like that.
“Sam, you’re so strong. I need you to be that brave guy who doesn’t back down when things get tough.”
“There’s nothing brave about hurting you again, Emma. No matter how bad I want you.” He pinned her with a longing that made her want to crawl up into his lap and suffer whatever might come of them trying again. “Make no mistake about it, I want you.” So why was he so darn eager to get out of here before their time was up?
Time for the truth.
“I’ve tried, you know. To be with someone else.” Yes, that was the unforgettable mistake named Luka, the one attempt to prove she wasn’t defective. But nothing about that one time was good, only all wrong. He looked away from her and stared off, like the blank walls of S room hurt less than her words had just now.
“I just, I thought I was proving something then, to who, I don’t know. But…” The words weren’t ready to jump off her tongue yet. She would have to force them out. “He hurt me. Bad.”
Sam’s neck tensed as he whipped his head back around to face her, abandoning his visual assault on the door. The veins running up his tanned, corded flesh toward his jaw stood out. He began to mutter something but she stopped him.
“He brought me inside this room, told me I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and then told me to stay seated in that chair. That he’d be right back.”
“Only dancers and staff have access to S. Who did this to you, Emma?”
That’s right. She’d never said anything to Sam about it. Hadn’t even spoken Luka’s name o
ut loud since it happened.
“I...”
“Why didn’t you tell me? When?”
She waited to make sure he’d finished, but then paused this unhappy slew of questions with a finger to his full lips.
“This summer. One of your nights off. God, I couldn’t have done it if you’d been here. No way.” She didn’t know what good, if any, telling him that would do but wanted him to understand that much.
“Who, Emma?”
He was stuck again.
Who didn’t matter now.
“Someone who didn’t last long here because he turned out to be a jerk. And the reason I stay here and love this job. We don’t tolerate jerks once they’re outed.”
The current cast of dancers had all been here two years or more. No jerks. All good men.
“Tell me exactly what he did to you.”
“That’s easy. He forgot about me.”
Could she come completely clean? She’d gone this far. She let out a loud breath which made him tense all the more.
“Shit, Emma, there’s more. I can read you.”
Sam’s jaw tensed as he worked out his clear anger, most likely calculating the vague time frame she’d given him. And then because her best friend was smarter than most people gave him credit for but she knew all along, he figured it out.
“Luka?” he asked.
Her cheeks puffed up with air as she felt the shame creeping up.
Sam had her crumpled in a tight hug in the very next second.
“You know what all he did, don’t you?” she asked him. Emma didn’t know how, but Sam only got this protective when he knew she needed it. Otherwise, and as asked, he always tried to let her work things out on her own.
He nodded, and the anger working at his temples and jaw confirmed he knew about the girl who’d been left naked and locked inside S room, tied to the chair with suspenders from the Hero military uniform, while their new dancer recruit had gone off with a group of divorcees. She’d been left in those restraints for so long that the suspenders had cut into her skin.
Emma thought the incident hadn’t gone any further than Ellen, herself, and Gabe who had been the one to find her and let her out. Apparently, she was wrong.
“Does everyone know?” she asked as Sam’s hair became less and less neat-looking. The prim and proper military cut he kept had no chance against those course fingers of his.
“I only know because I saw Gabe shoving him out the back door one night. I asked what it was all about.”
“And he told you?”
Sam shook his head no. “Just what Luka had done, not to who. Dammit Emma, you should have told me it was you.”
“You mean you’re not mad that otherwise I would have been with him?” She still couldn’t plug Luka’s name into that sentence out loud.
“It’s not the best news I’ve gotten today. Hell, I’d take getting fired a few more times over that. But no, I’m not mad at you. Maybe a little. This is my fault.”
“It was my own dumb mistake. I got myself humiliated, not you.”
“No, not your fault. Don’t say that.” His gaze turned midnight green. “That time you saw me in here, Emma. I swear to you, on my father’s grave, I’ve never used Luka’s treatment on any woman. Ever. And I’m sorry for the time you saw what you did. It’s hard to be discreet, but I tried. All that crap was just for fun.” He paused. “I couldn’t have you…”
“So you had them.” Emma’s emotions slipped. Sam wouldn’t have made women feel like nothing. He would have made them feel like everything. Everything good and sexy and whole and capable. That’s who her best friend was, and that’s what he did.
“I get it. Not my favorite bit of news today,” she said.
He returned to his stare-down with the door.
Chapter Nine
Sam eyed the damn chair.
If he could, he’d rip it out of the floor and go pay Luka a visit. See how he liked being tied up and forgotten about. Forget about Boulder City. The busiest corner on the Vegas strip sounded like the perfect place to desert him.
“Sam? You still here with me? I know you’ve come up with a few already, but please forget the plans you’ve probably made for him. This is one I really want to forget.”
Then he didn’t have a choice, really. That’s what he’d do—for now. Sam bit his molars together and then softened for her. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“Good, you promised me something, remember?”
“Wha—? How can you even stand it in here?”
“Well, I think I’ve realized that’s the point.”
“Come again. What is?”
“You. Me. The fact we can now and we want to. At least… I…do. I love these guys and this place. Even Ellen, because even though she wanted to suspend you, it was because she was worried about your well-being.” Emma’s fingers gently touched over the circles under his eyes. If he could, he would stop time and just hold her here and now. But they didn’t have that luxury. He wanted to tell her but she kept on. “And if I do want to take over for her someday, I need to be able to embrace what this room really stands for. Not fear or hate it. Sam, you’re the only guy I trust that much to show me the experience every woman wants when she bravely comes back here.
“I want that S to stand for special, not scared. I want to walk past it to my office and blush, and think ‘Sam stayed for me in there’. Can we make that happen? Please, Sam. I realize now, I need this. With you. Only with you. Right now.”
Damn, her words were stealing his breath, his will to do the right thing and get her dressed and out of here. The thing was, he believed her with every shred of his being. But she had no idea about the situation Gabe had brought to his attention.
Please don’t hate me for this, Emma.
No. He couldn’t ask this from her. She trusted him. She’d just plainly stated he was the only one. Damn that she needed it so badly to happen in this room.
“We can’t.”
“Oh, Okay. It’s okay,” she stuttered. He’d hurt her, again. “I shouldn’t have pushed. I’ll let myself out. You should…you should go.” She turned her back to him, cutting all the way to his heart.
Her words were random, short bits of lies.
“You don’t understand, Emma. We can’t stay in this room. Not alone. We ran out of time. I didn’t want us to run out of time. I was willing to stay in here. I swear.” He went over to where she’d retreated to and rested his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged out of his touch, but he was persistent and reached for her again. “I need this, too.”
That got her to turn around. For the first time tonight, her eyes were wet.
“Then stay. Do this with me,” she said. The tears didn’t fall, but they were there.
He looked again at the door. If there was any other way. Any other room she needed him to make better for her. “Damn. We’re out of options. The only one left requires you to trust one other person,” he said, visibly startling her. “Can you do that?”
Chapter Ten
“Um, hi? Gabe?” she said and pulled whatever else she could find that was lying on the floor to cover herself up. “Sam? What’s going on?”
“Tell me you hate me for this and I’ll send him out. I promise,” Sam said, meaning every word.
“Well, okay, but I have no idea what ‘this’ is,” she said.
“The three of us have to hang out in here for a while,” he told her, feeling like a teenager again with ass for brains. Did he really think he was going to be able to suggest they carry on while Gabe sat in the corner? Emma currently sat with her legs folded to the best of their ability and had moved to one of the far walls. He ached to go be by her side. This idiotic act of his lost him that right.
“O-kay. How long?” she asked.
“Until Donovan and Jay leave for the night,” Gabe added for him. “Sorry. It was the best I could do to keep your business private. They think I’m in here on a meet-n-greet.”
The three of them lo
oked at the wall clock. It was ten-thirty. Donovan would cut out early. Jay, however, always stuck around in the photo area until every last one of the show patrons had been greeted, thanked, and hugged. They could be here until midnight.
He watched her face fall. He knew that look. Disappointment. It hadn’t changed in the ten years he’d known her.
Sam exchanged looks with Gabe who nonchalantly popped earbuds in and slid over to the farthest corner, then sat and closed his eyes. Except for the slight movement of his head swaying to the music, he looked like he’d fallen asleep on command. It was an old trick of the trade that most soldiers learned quickly, but Sam wasn’t sure if this was just a show for their benefit. Not that it mattered. He wouldn’t be reckless with Emma ever again. Having Gabe in the room while working through intimacy issues with Emma fell into that category.
Ten feet away she sat.
Why did he still want her so desperately? It couldn’t happen now. No matter that she’d laid her feelings out on the line before he’d peeked his head out to check in with Gabe.
Please, Sam. I realize now, I need this. With you. Only with you. Right now.
Sam walked over to her and sat down because it was physically impossible for him to stay away. She was his best friend. He found her hand and she let him hold it. He kissed her cheek, then turned back to face front, feeling her breathing through the rise and fall of her arm that touched his.
So lightly he barely heard it, she whispered something.
“Hmm? I couldn’t hear you, hon,” he said and leaned into her more. The second her lips touched his ear, his body reacted in the same way it had before. With desperate, years-old desire. A protective instinct added another layer to his feelings for her.
“I said, I still need you. Tonight. Now. In here.”
Together, they glanced over at Gabe who looked like a sleeping statue. Not even a bob or sway came from his musically engulfed head. Sam shook his head. “I won’t do this to you, Emma.”
“What if I told you I wanted you to? And I trust you, no matter what.”
Stay for Me Page 7
