by Aria Ford
“I’ve hidden one more thing. It has to do with my brother.”
We walked in the field, feeling more like we were on a date instead of being set up for failure. I looked at him and I could see that something was haunting in his eyes. Something had grabbed hold of his soul and had frozen it in time. His brother had had that same look, but it was more like he wanted to wrap his hands around Grady’s throat. Daniel did not have any problem showing his anger that was seeping out of every pore. He was an angry young man that had a chip on his shoulder the size of the rock of Gibraltar.
I had to believe that the woman in question that had caused this rift was no longer in the picture. There was no talk about this mysterious woman. Nobody had spoken her name and maybe they were afraid of what kind of memories they would uncover. This was obviously an old wound and by poking at it, I had made it fester into something ugly.
“I have to tell you that your property is very amazing. I see that you have everything tyou need right here. You’re the type of guy that takes care of family, regardless of your personal opinion. You have this obligation weighing down on your shoulders and I’m glad that I’m here to help take some of the strain off.”
I was not a professional, but I was a meddler from a long time ago. I could never leave anything alone and for Grady I was going to take that one step further.
“I’m very proud of my accomplishments. My father was very vocal about how he wanted me to succeed. I don’t think my mother would agree that I’ve made anything of my life, but it’s not her life. The one thing that I have learned is that time is a commodity that can be lost like that. They say that time heals all wounds, but five years is a long time to keep this particular animosity alive between myself and my brother. Daniel can never forget and I will never forgive.”
Those were harsh words and I was hoping that I could bring the two brothers back together again.
The air was ripe with tension but out here in the middle of nature, it all washed away. It was replaced by living in the moment. I was tempted to wrap my arm around him, but I thought that that might be a little too presumptuous. We barely knew each other and staying underneath the same roof was going to be hard to deal with, especially with his family underfoot.
“I get the sense that you were never really close with your brother. You may have convinced yourself otherwise, but I think that there was still a form of jealousy. You are the older brother and he was always in your shadow. He had big shoes to fill and you had even bigger shoes to fill when your father died.”
I saw his eyes well up and he was close to tears. He didn’t show that kind of emotion and maybe he was under the impression that a man didn’t do that.
“I don’t want to get into the middle of things, but you’ve made it very difficult for me not to.”
“I’m glad that you’re around, but I hope you don’t think you are going to make things better. My brother and I have a reason to be angry at each other. I’ve tried to reach out, but he has always slapped my hand away in defiance. He wants nothing to do with me, even though I feel that it was his fault for all of it. I was willing to look past it. I may not be able to forgive, but I could at least show some restraint in knocking his teeth out.”
I was getting closer to the truth and with each step into the field, I felt like he was leading me by the hand to something of great revelation.
“I would suggest that you try harder to make up with Daniel, but I can only do so much. Like a horse, you can lead them to water, but you can’t make them drink.”
I didn’t know if that analogy was fitting, but it felt right at the time. I heard the birds in the distance singing their song and it brought to mind those times that I had found myself enjoying the weather in India. It might’ve been hot, but there were ways to cool off.
His steps were getting shaky and the path was now showing a worn footpath that led to somewhere that was holding his heart hostage. I could see that he was visibly distressed. He had to stop for a moment to catch his breath. It wasn’t because he was running or taxing his body, but it was his soul that was holding him by a thin thread. If I were to pull too tightly he may break like a broken doll. I didn’t know how fragile his mind was, but something was definitely putting him to the test.
“Grady, this whole thing sounds like it needs to be aired publicly.” I needed to find a way to get them together to hash this thing out once and for all. It was only hurting them from moving forward. I’d also seen that his heart was not open to a new love. He claimed in his letter that he was ready, but I could see now that he was only fooling himself.
We came to a sudden stop and I looked down to see that there was a gravestone with the name of Stephanie Archer. There wasn’t much that needed to be said, as he crumpled onto the ground on his hands and knees.
Chapter three
I had my hand on his shoulder and he didn’t say anything for almost ten minutes.
“I’m sorry I put you through this Stephanie. It was never my intention to leave you alone for that long. I thought that I could trust my brother, but I think deep down I always knew he was jealous. He thought that he could take you away from me.” His words were the only thing that mattered. I stood there and waited, not saying anything and allowing him to reveal as little or as much as he needed.
His shoulders were shaking and his mind was now dealing with something that was very painful. The reminder was this stone and for some reason he had allotted a spot for Stephanie on his property. That had to mean she was very important to him and held a dear and special spot in his heart. I wasn’t sure if anybody could replace her, but maybe that was not the reason for me being here. I had no hope of becoming like her. I was my own person and if he couldn’t deal with that, then this was never going to work.
Folding my dress up underneath me, I sat down beside him. It was not my place to say anything. I really didn’t know what was going on, but the puzzle pieces were falling into place. I felt the wind blowing through the grass, but there was more a melancholy feel that I couldn’t shake. Sadness held us tightly and didn’t let go. I wasn’t sad for Stephanie. I was sad for Grady and what he had put himself through.
“We never talked about this, but the looks that I give my brother and the ones that he gives me tell a very poignant story. Stephanie was the love of my life. I thought that I had found the one I was going to grow old with. I got caught up in some work and I had asked Daniel to look in on Stephanie and make sure she got home from work safely. He was reluctant, but I promised him that I could make it worth his while. He assumed that I was going to give him part of my fortune, unbeknownst to him that my fortune had been slowly slipping away.” He had started talking and I could feel that talking about it had given him an outlet he didn’t have before.
“I am so sorry for your loss. I get this feeling that there’s more to it than what you’ve already told me. By all means, you can tell me anything and I will never judge you.” I was giving him free rein to speak openly and honestly. This was the only way to take that power of the memory away.
He reached up and grabbed onto the stone on either side. He placed his cheek against the cold hard surface.
“I was too busy. I didn’t know that Daniel wanted her for himself. He never showed any interest, but maybe he was only trying to ruin the one good thing in my life. His advances were rebuffed and she ran off. My brother claims that he was only trying to help her, but witnesses were very adamant that he was trying to manhandle her. Anyway, she ran, tripping over a stone and she plummeted into a ravine. The only thing that I take solace in was that she probably died quickly and without much pain.”
“I know that this is very painful for you, Grady. You have to know that your brother didn’t mean to make her run off like that. He probably feels as guilty as you do, if not more so. You both hate each other with a red hot anger. Your mother does nothing to help matters. I think she actually enjoys pitting you against each other.”
“I know all of that. It
just makes me feel like he was trying to hurt me on purpose. He never wanted to kill her, but his hatred toward me made him do something that was stupid. We actually had nothing to do with each other until mother told me she needed a place to stay. Believe me, I was reluctant, and I had to take some time to think about it. It was bad enough that she was coming, but she also told me that Daniel was part of the package. She claimed that he was instrumental in helping her during her ailing years. Between you and me, I think he only sticks around to make sure that the will reflects he’s in it.”
That was a horrible thing to think about his own brother. I could see the reason why he would go there, but this whole thing was predicated on a terrible accident. They could beat themselves up every day, but it wouldn’t bring back the one thing that Grady wanted most of all.
“I’ve had my own fair share of dealing with grief. It comes in many forms, but the thing you need to remember is that she’ll always be with you right here.” I touched his heart and he grabbed my wrist and placed his lips on the back of it. “The love that you two shared was something that nobody could break. In life or in death, I know that the both of you will see each other again.”
I didn’t know for certain if there was room for me here or not.
He sniffed and wiped away the last of the tears before standing and smoothing out his clothing. He shook himself loose of the leaves and twigs sticking to him. He looked like he had come to some kind of conclusion.
“I know that it’s not gonna be easy. I probably shouldn’t have brought you here until I had cleared the air with Daniel and my mother. I suppose on some level I was enjoying surprising her in this way. She was always a woman with a high opinion of herself. She thought that she had me and Daniel wrapped around her finger, but this showed I had my own independent thinking.”
Circling my hands around his waist from behind, I felt his strong back against me.
“It’s been years and I don’t see this ending without somebody reaching out with some kind of olive branch. You need to be the bigger man. I know that you’ve tried, but you gave up too easily.”
“Stephanie is my past and you are my future, Delia. I don’t know if I can forgive, but I’m willing to at least entertain the idea. You showed me that I need to be more flexible. I think what I really need to do is stop living for a ghost. She’s gone, but you’re right and she’s here with me in some way. The sun shining down is her giving me her approval of you.”
I wouldn’t exactly go that far, but he needed to find his own way to let this go.
“I don’t want to speak ill will of your mother.”
He turned to me and I thought for a moment that he was going to tell me that his mother was off limits.
“She really does have a favorite. I’ve watched how she treats you and Daniel. Her relationship with Daniel is more of a clingy mother and son bond. I don’t think that she wants to lose either one of you. By keeping this rift alive, she allows this constant infighting. For some reason, she feels that she has to keep you both from reaching your true potential. Daniel may not know this, but she holds him too tight and will never allow him to stretch his wings to fly from the nest.”
I was getting to know Grady and his family. They were not the apple pie kind of family, but they did have each other to stand strong against any adversary that came their way. I wanted them to lean on each other, but most of all I wanted them to accept me within the fold.
“I know that my mother can be hard to live with. She only wants what’s best for her family. Believe it or not, she was not always like this. With father was around, she was softer and had a caring disposition.” That didn’t seem like it was possible, but grief does change people in ways that they probably don’t even realize. She had become cold and distant.
“When father was alive, she doted on him hand and foot. She still had her opinions and she had no problem voicing them when necessary.”
“I don’t suppose that there was any tension between Stephanie and your mother.”
“They tried to get along, but both of them were stubborn. Everything had to be a competition, whether it was how I liked my clothes washed or what I enjoyed on my plate for supper. It was funny, but my father really did like Stephanie. They seemed to understand each other in some way that was foreign to the rest of us. I think that my father confided in her that he wasn’t going to be around for too much longer.”
“Keeping that kind of secret from the man that she loved must’ve been very difficult for her.” I saw that he was replaying those happy memories of a time that had come and gone.
“Five years in a lot of time to grieve. I’m through letting a ghost determine my fate. The main reason why I contacted you was because I felt that we had a lot in common. You loved being in the outdoors and you told me many times that you liked to explore the unknown. Our families are similar in that they don’t understand that this kind of relationship can work. It takes patience and time and both of those things we have. I’m not going to say that this is love, but it does feel like it could lead to something along those lines.” He may be able to say that now, but what happened between him and his brother was going to determine how both of them were going to live their lives.
“This is a huge step for you. Don’t let your mother or Daniel make you think anything differently. She will most likely see the change and want to do something to wreck your chance to find somebody new. Your mother wants you to always be around to take care of her. She doesn’t care that you want a life of your own. That is secondary. I’m not sure that you can call what you have with your mother healthy.” I was picking at that scab. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to find myself on the receiving end of some kind of backlash.
“Nobody gets to talk about my mother like that.” I had obviously touched on something of a nerve. “The things that you have said about her may be right, but I really don’t need to listen to that. I’m sorry if that makes us at odds, but my mother is the only thing that I have that is constant. I don’t suspect that my brother is going to stick around for very much longer. He has this itch to find his own way. With me to take care of mother, he can concentrate on living his life for a change.”
Daniel’s devotion to his mother had turned into something more possessive.
It wasn’t just that Daniel’s brother had found a woman, but it was the fact that he was leaving the household that had gotten him to the point of wanting to do something about it. He didn’t want to be made into a sacrificial lamb. The one thing that all families have in common is that their mothers are important enough for them to sacrifice their own lives and their own happiness for the ones who brought them into the world.
Chapter four
The hardness that I had seen in my future husband had slowly vanished. I had finally made him see that life was better off being lived. His feelings towards Stephanie would always be there, but he could find a way to deal with them in a more constructive manner.
I still felt like he needed to mend that rift between himself and Daniel. I just didn’t know how I was going to go about it. It wasn’t until we were walking back that I saw the locked barn and knew that might be the answer to my prayers. There was only one way in and one way out. The door was pretty secure. It didn’t matter how much they screamed, nobody would be able to hear them from out here.
The one part of my plan that held true was that their mother could not be in the vicinity to interfere. I had to find a way to keep her out of it.
“You look like you are hatching some kind of plan. I’ve seen that look on my mother’s face and I know it like the back of my hand.” He was good, but I needed to tell him that everything was perfectly fine. I didn’t know if he would believe me, but there was really only one way to find out.
“You revealed a lot in a short amount of time. I think we need to work on making your family complete again.” We got back and dinner was strained with nobody talking and this heavy tension hanging on every word. The most that we had were pl
atitudes like: Can you pass me the salt? or some other condiment.
His mother was very vocal, but now she had become mute. It could be that she was giving us all the silent treatment. What she didn’t realize was that silence goes a long way. It wasn’t easy and I saw how this was eating up any chance that they were going to get along.
Over the next few days, I purposely cornered Daniel and started to make small talk. It was enough to open a small wedge that allowed me to step through to the other side. He was reluctant to say much, but anything he did say was revealing enough that I was able to slowly get him to realize his brother was important to him.
While I was working on him, Grady was working on his mother. We were taking this from two sides of a different coin. The only person that was going to get through to his mother Marianne was the son she thought was destined for greatness. You could she was disappointed that he had walked away from the path she’d wanted for him. Living off the land and farming was not her idea of living up to expectations.
It had been almost a week. I was wondering how I was going to face those people in church tomorrow. He had already said that he planned to announce our engagement and nothing had changed. I made sure that we always had time to take a walk and clear our heads at the end of the day. Talking things over and opening up lines of communication was the best way to make sure that none of us went to bed angry.
“My mother can be pigheaded. My father always said that she had a mind of her own and be careful when she thinks she’s right. She won’t back down and she won’t surrender or throw up the white flag anytime soon.”
This was the one time that I didn’t want to talk about his family. We had gone around those tracks too many times in the last few days. I needed to know if he thought that this was everlasting or just a fleeting fancy.
“I don’t want to get off topic, but this thing that we have between us is important to me. I feel like getting past those walls have allowed me to see the real Grady. I’m impressed by that man, but I still think that he hides from his family’s constant vigil in his life.” I was speaking to him like he was two separate entities and for the most part it was true. The man that I had met coming off the boat was not the same as the one that I was seeing today.
