by Jude Watson
Even though Anakin had never seen the pirate, he knew him. He knew the terror he had spread.
At last there was a chance he could face him. How lucky to have been given this assignment! His hand moved unconsciously to his lightsaber hilt.
"With all respect to the Council and the Senate," Obi-Wan said, "I am not certain that we are the correct team for this assignment."
Anakin could not resist an incredulous look at his Master. What was Obi-Wan doing? They were the perfect team for this assignment!
"The Council might recall that Anakin was once a slave himself," Obi- Wan continued. "He is sensitive to this issue. And as a young Padawan — "
"I am not too young!" Anakin broke in. "And I'm not too sensitive!"
Mace Windu fixed his dark gaze on Anakin, the forbidding look that could cause even a senior Jedi student to suddenly remember each tiny infraction of the rules he or she had committed since the age of five. "We will ask you to speak when we wish your opinion, Anakin."
Anakin was cowed by Mace Windu's reprimand. Mace Windu turned to Obi- Wan with the same severity.
"Do you have doubts about your Padawan, Obi-Wan? If so, you must state them. Certainly they are not obvious to the Council, since only recently you stood in that very spot and vehemently argued that he was ready for the trip to Ilum to fashion his own lightsaber."
So Obi-Wan had to fight to take him to Hum. Defiance flared in Anakin.
His chin lifted. So what? If the Council still had hesitations about him, they would soon learn differently.
"Please forgive me for interfering," Chancellor Palpatine interrupted softly. "I think I understand Obi-Wan Kenobi's hesitation. Even in my limited knowledge of Jedi procedures, I understand that Anakin Sky-walker is a special case. Naturally the Jedi would wish to protect him more so than another Jedi student."
Anakin's face flushed. A special case! Needing protection! He felt humiliation wash over him.
"Anakin Skywalker is not a special case," Obi-Wan said in a firm voice. "Only his extraordinary abilities set him apart. He is certainly not in need of protection. Perhaps I expressed myself badly. I consider him fully able to conduct any mission the Council wishes to send him on. My hesitation was momentary. I accept the mission for myself and my Padawan."
Slowly, Mace Windu nodded. Yoda did as well, but his gaze lingered on Anakin.
Anakin didn't care. His Master had spoken up for him. They had a mission. Nothing else mattered. And there was a possibility he could meet Krayn face-to-face. That was the most important thing of all.
Chapter 5
The Colicoid ship was massive and utilitarian. Even the Colicoid diplomatic ships were pressed into service as cargo ships, and the planet's ship designers were known for ingenuity rather than style. They managed to pack more cargo space into a cruiser than anyone in the galaxy. They did this by compressing living space. Cabins and public areas were cramped and oddly shaped, mostly tucked into stray corners. It would not be a luxurious flight.
Luckily Obi-Wan had reached the point where he barely registered his surroundings, except as points of interest for the mission ahead. Anakin, however, was appalled at the sheer ugliness of the Colicoid transport. When it came to spaceships, Anakin was a firm believer in speed and elegance.
"I thought diplomatic ships were supposed to be the best in the planet's fleet," he murmured to Obi-Wan as they boarded. They followed a guide down a narrow hallway, squeezing past equipment panels and cargo boxes.
"This is the best in the fleet," Obi-Wan murmured back.
They reached the bridge. The command center was smaller than it should be for a ship of this size. The pilot crew was jammed up against one another and the tech consoles. Even the ceiling was put into service for cargo — finely spun durasteel nets were suspended there and filled with cargo boxes. The full load blocked out the lighting from above, creating pools of shadow on the bridge. The total effect was one of deep gloom.
"Captain, the Jedi team has arrived," their guide reported.
The captain waved a long hand behind him but did not turn. "Dismissed.
" The guide turned and left. The captain still ignored the Jedi. He stared down at a data screen mounted on the tech console.
Obi-Wan knew the Colicoids were barely tolerating their presence. If the captain wanted to play a game of patience with him, he would not engage. He cautioned Anakin with a look — he was not to betray any impatience. Anakin immediately composed his features and stilled a restless tapping finger on his utility belt. Obi-Wan could still tell his Padawan was restless, but the Colicoids would not.
The Colicoids were an intelligent species with armor-plated trunks, long, antennaed heads, and powerful stinging tails. Although renowned as deadly fighters, they had long ago turned their considerable energies toward trade. They had transferred their ruthlessness to commerce and were a wealthy species as a result.
The captain turned at last. His expression was not welcoming. He clicked two of his spidery legs together in impatience.
"I am Captain Anf Dec. We will be departing in six minutes," he said.
"You are free to walk about the ship, but do not get in the way."
Obi-Wan matched the captain's brusque tone. "If any suspicious vessels enter our range, you will notify us?"
"No need for alarm. We do not expect trouble. Or so the Senate tells us." The captain gave an eerie smile that showed straight rows of sharp teeth. "The Jedi are aboard."
"Nevertheless, we expect to be notified if there is a potential problem," Obi-Wan said firmly.
The captain shrugged. "As you wish." The words came like explosive puffs of air. Obviously Captain Anf Dec did not appreciate getting orders, only giving them. "Now go. We are busy."
Obi-Wan and Anakin turned and left the bridge. "Friendly guy," Anakin said.
"I think it's best if we stay out of the Colicoids' way," Obi-Wan responded.
"No problem," Anakin muttered under his breath.
They proceeded to their cramped cabin, which they would have to share.
Anakin placed his survival pack neatly by his narrow sleep-couch. Obi-Wan knew that his Padawan was still upset by the meeting at the Temple. Usually he would have to counsel Anakin at the start of a mission to settle down.
The boy would run on an excess of energy and expectation and want to see everything at once. The Anakin he knew would have tossed his survival pack down and suggested a quick tour of the ship. But this new, silent Anakin merely sat on the sleep-couch and gazed at his surroundings with an uncurious eye.
Obi-Wan debated whether to speak. He knew what was bothering Anakin — the boy was troubled by both the Jedi Council's continuing wariness of his suitability and the implication that he was somehow different from other Jedi students. That did not worry Obi-Wan too much. He knew that Anakin's belief in himself was strong. Anakin was different, and he was learning that this was part of his strength. It did not have to set him apart. And Obi-Wan had told him before that he should not take the Council's rigor personally. It did not mean that they didn't think he would make a fine Jedi. It was their job to look for every possible trouble spot, to be harder on the Jedi students than their Masters would be. No doubt they, as well as he, had noticed Anakin's involuntary movement toward his lightsaber when slave trading was mentioned.
No, Anakin's silence was not about the Council's reaction, or Palpatine's words. He was hurt because Obi-Wan had tried to get out of the assignment. It suggested to his Padawan that he did not have faith in him — which was far from the truth.
Words that hurt were spoken in a moment. But words that heal take time and reflection.
Obi-Wan could not reassure Anakin that his words were spoken out of haste. He was worried about the effect of this mission on Anakin. If they did engage with Krayn, Anakin's deepest emotions would be tapped. Obi-Wan knew his Padawan had not begun to truly deal with the years of shame and anger he had passed as a slave. Someday he would confront this. Obi-Wan fervently wishe
d that day to be in the future, after Anakin had honed his training.
Yet he had the feeling that this was exactly why Mace Windu and Yoda had chosen them. It was not the first time Obi-Wan had suspected the Council of being too harsh.
They had suspended Obi-Wan once, taken away his Jedi status. He had been thirteen years old, and at the time he had not understood the Council's severity. He was forced to bypass his feelings to examine his own role in his suspension. He had been wrong, and he had come to understand that. The knowledge of this had shamed him. It was only through Qui-Gon's counsel that he had learned that his shame was preventing him from healing.
Could he teach his Padawan the same lesson? Qui-Gon had done it with a characteristic balance of severity and gentleness. No one mixed the two like his Master. Obi-Wan found it difficult to be severe with Anakin. He had been deeply influenced by his Master, but he was not Qui-Gon. He would have to find his own way.
The Master must guard against guiding the Padawan according to his own needs. He or she must balance care and discipline with the acknowledgment of the Padawan's separateness, his or her distinct character.
Qui-Gon's caution had chafed Obi-Wan at times. Now he completely understood it. The shadow of Xanatos had always stood at Qui-Gon's shoulder. Xanatos had been Qui-Gon's Padawan, and he had turned to the dark side. Qui-Gon had struggled to keep Obi-Wan and Xanatos separate in his mind and actions. He did not want his training of Obi-Wan to be haunted by the ways he might have failed Xanatos. But it was not always easy. Of course Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had gone on to build a rich history together.
Obi-Wan wished the same fierce trust and affection between himself and Anakin. They had already begun to build it.
"I received more information about Krayn before we left," Obi-Wan told Anakin. "You should review this file." He called up the information on his datapad and handed it to Anakin.
"There is a profile of Krayn's ship and his illegal activities as well as background on his two associates. One is a Wookiee named Rashtah. Very fierce, very dangerous. Unusual for a Wookiee to be involved in slave trading, but he's extremely loyal to Krayn. There's another associate called Zora, a human female."
Anakin flipped through the holographic file. "There's not much information here on her."
"No. She joined Krayn about a year ago." Obi-Wan turned away. He knew all about Zora. Yoda and Mace Windu had briefed him privately before he left. Anakin did not have to know yet that Zora was a former Jedi.
More important, Zora was a former friend of Obi-Wan's. Her former name was Siri. She had been in Temple training with Obi-Wan, just a year behind.
He had known her well, or as well as anyone could know her. Her deepest emotions were known only to herself. The two of them had been on missions together as Padawans. Chosen by Council member Adi Gallia as an apprentice, Siri had been acutely intelligent and scrupulously mindful of Jedi rules.
Her loyalty to Adi Gallia was unquestioned until they had fallen into a severe disagreement. Adi Gallia was known for her intuition, but not necessarily her warmth. She had taken the most severe path a Master could — she had cut loose her Padawan without recommending her for full Jedi status. Furious, Siri had left the Temple abruptly. Obi-Wan had tried to find her, but she had cut off any contact with the Temple. She had wandered the galaxy. Without her Jedi family, without any ties, she had fallen into bad company. And now she was using her skills to work with Krayn. It was an astonishing transformation, but Qui-Gon had taught Obi-Wan that he should not be surprised by the dark forces that battled within every being. Siri had battled her dark side and lost.
Obi-Wan and Anakin felt the engines thrum underneath their feet. The ship slowly rose from its dockingport, then shot out into a space lane.
Soon they would be far above Coruscant, engaging the hyperdrive.
"Do you think Krayn will attack the ship?" Anakin asked, looking out at the sky through the small view-port.
"The Colicoids don't seem to think so," Obi-Wan said. "Who knows?
Krayn has a complicated, galaxy-wide operation. He might not want the trouble of tangling with Jedi."
There was something like disappointment on Anakin's face. He wants to meet up with Krayn, Obi-Wan realized. It was probably the normal reaction of a young man longing for adventure. Or it could be something darker.
"You seemed to react to Krayn's name during the briefing," Obi-Wan said. "Have you heard of him?" Anakin turned his gaze back to Obi-Wan.
There was the trace of a shadow in his eyes, something that only Obi-Wan would notice, he felt sure. "I know his kind."
He was holding something back. He had not really answered Obi-Wan's question. Anakin never lied to him. Obi-Wan realized with a deep sense of unease that he was lying now.
Chapter 6
"Don't touch that!" A Colicoid officer scurried forward, legs clicking. Anakin stepped back from the equipment console in the tech readout room. They were coming out of hyperspace too soon.
"I wasn't touching it," Anakin said. "I was just looking at it. I've never seen a tech console like this before."
"Well, go away," the officer said, blocking the tech console. "This is not a place for little boys."
Anakin drew his power around him. He knew it was there, a combination of his own will and the Force, easily tapped, always reachable. He fixed his gaze on the officer. "I am not a little boy. I am a Jedi."
The Colicoid was clearly unnerved as the young human boy before him gave him a gaze of such concentrated intensity. It took all of his will to stand his ground.
"Well, go away anyway," he muttered, turning away from that unsettling look. "This is no place for you."
Anakin decided instantly that the tech console was not interesting enough to risk a confrontation. He walked away with a dignity that masked his irritation. The Colicoids were certainly touchy about their ship. In his experience, most beings were happy to indulge in tech-talk and were proud of their ships. The Colicoids didn't seem to bond with their transports, just looked at them as a way to get them from one place to another. Normally he would fill his time poking into the ship's nooks and crannies, but the Colicoid crew was constantly breathing down his neck.
He never knew a mission could be so boring. If only Krayn would attack!
Anakin stopped, appalled at the thought that had risen so buoyantly into his mind. Jedi did not wish for confrontation, but met it squarely when it came. They looked for peaceful outcomes. He should not long for a pirate invasion to spice up a dull trip. It was as wrong as wrong could be.
But to be fair, he didn't want Krayn to attack because he was bored.
The thought of the pirate was like a fever in his blood. He wanted — needed — to see Krayn face-to-face. He wanted to know if the vision he'd had in the cave was true.
He still felt guilty about lying to Obi-Wan. He could not tell Obi-Wan how memory had burst inside him, a burning memory full of details that were as fresh and painful as they'd been six years before.
Well, he hadn't exactly lied — he simply hadn't given a full answer.
Unfortunately, to the Jedi, that was the same as lying to a Master.
Sometimes the strict Jedi scruples could be extremely annoying.
He could not speak of Krayn. Not yet. If he spoke the memory aloud, it would choke him. He was afraid of the emptiness he felt whenever he remembered his mother. There were so many sleepless nights when he berated himself for the comfort of his sleep-couch at the Temple, for his plentiful meals, his excellent education, but mostly, for his happiness there. How could he continue to take even one more contented breath when his mother languished as a slave on a desolate planet?
In the beginning, when he'd first arrived at the Temple, he could call up her voice and smile so easily. He could repeat her soft words to him: The greatest gift you can give me, Annie, is to take your freedom.
But her voice was growing fainter, and her smile growing dim.
Sometimes he had to struggle to recall the l
iving reality of her face, the texture of her skin. He had not seen her in four years. He had been so young when he left. His greatest fear was that one day she would leave him completely. That he would lose her like a dream. Then he would be hollow inside.
Obi-Wan Kenobi had been raised in the Temple since he was a baby. He could not truly know how a childhood could be one of terror and shame mixed with comfort and love. He only knew this through his intellect, not his experience. It is one thing to see the effects of a terrible childhood. It is another to live them every day. So when his beloved Master told him he must accept his anger and let it move through him, a small, mean voice in Anakin whispered that his Master did not know what he was talking about. He did not truly know anger.
