by Gail Sattler
His mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but then he stopped and smiled. In a flash, Roberta raised the camera to one eye and clicked without taking the time to focus, hoping for the best, then lowered it just as quickly. “Why do you hate having your picture taken?”
The smile faded, making her sorry she had asked. She waited, unsure if he would tell her the reason or tell her to mind her own business. He stared off into the waterfall and rammed his hands in his pockets. She joined him at his side.
“You know Gwen and I are twins?”
“Yes.”
“When we were little, my dad lost his job. To make some money, my mom took us to audition for magazine ads and the like, having cute little twins to pose. One agency signed a contract with us.” He stared into the water, bent to pick up a rock, and threw it in. “Awhile after we started, I finally saw some of the pictures. I’ll never forget how awful they were or how it felt to look like that.”
“Oh, come on. I’ll bet you were a cute kid.”
“I wasn’t. At a certain age, Gwen and I looked almost exactly alike. Instead of cutesy twin pictures, the photographers tried an experiment, and it worked, at least from a commercial standpoint. For one particular ad sequence, they made her up and posed her as the cute little girl she was, and dressed and made me up to be the identical doofus little boy. The ads were a success, so they kept on with the same theme. I was completely humiliated, yet I knew it was important to my parents, although at the time I didn’t know why, so I did my best and stuck with it, but I wouldn’t wish that on any kid.”
He cleared his throat and picked up another a rock. “My mother honestly thought people laughed because they thought we were cute, but the truth was that the contrast between the perfect little girl and the pitiful little boy made me feel pathetic.”
Roberta didn’t know what to say, but the sight of a grown man fighting unpleasant childhood memories tore at her heartstrings. “I’m sure no one meant it personally.”
“I was just a kid, and I took it very personally. I still can’t get over my hatred of cameras. As if you couldn’t tell.” He turned his head, and she thought he was looking at her, but she couldn’t tell for sure. “I make myself scarce when the camera comes out at family functions too.”
Roberta wished she could say something to ease things, but her mind was blank, so she said a silent prayer for peace of mind for him. They watched the waterfall, standing side by side.
Garrett finally broke the silence. “Do you have any plans for when you get home?”
Roberta wasn’t sure what he meant. “Not really, except for trying to find another job, but I don’t think I’ll have any problems. I’ve got a steady work history and a good letter of recommendation. I guess today is the end of any time off for the rest of the summer for you. Then you’re going back to university in the fall, right?”
“Yes.” He stuck his hands back in his pockets. “Do you think Mike will bother you again? If you need any help keeping him away …” His voice trailed off, becoming drowned out by the steady drone of the waterfall.
“I don’t think he’ll be a problem. You already showed him he was less than welcome.”
Conversation lagged. Garrett inched closer, then grasped both her hands in his. “Can I ask you a personal question, Robbie?”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear his question, but she couldn’t imagine things getting much more personal than anything she hadn’t already told him or his confession of why he hated cameras. She doubted his parents knew how he felt. Although she suspected there were few, if any, secrets between him and Gwen, she didn’t think even Gwen knew this. So Roberta nodded.
“Why did you say you’d marry him? Were you in love with him, I mean, really in love?”
So she was wrong. Things could get much more personal. Roberta wondered if she could avoid the question, but he held her hands just firmly enough that she couldn’t pull away without looking churlish after he’d bared his soul to her. As she answered, she could see her own reflection in his sunglasses looking back at her. “At the time, I thought I was, but now, looking back, it was more familiarity. We were always together, every day all day at work over the space of years, then dating in the evenings. I guess the engagement seemed a natural progression. We obviously don’t share the same faith or even moral standards. In the end, I don’t know what we shared. So I guess I really didn’t love him, in the happily-ever-after sense.” She gulped. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I think I’m falling in love, Robbie.” One of his hands rose. He tenderly brushed his knuckles against her cheek, then ran his fingertips gently along her jaw, stopping under her chin. “With you.”
Her voice came out in a squeak. “But you barely know me.” She barely knew herself. This past week had been a lesson in life like she’d never experienced.
“I know that. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way.”
In a moment like this, Roberta couldn’t handle staring back at her own reflection. As if he knew what she was going to do, he released her hands. She twined the fingers of one hand with his, just to keep touching him, and with her other hand, she plucked off his sunglasses. The swelling of his black eye made her wince in sympathy. Her heart tightened, knowing it was her fault.
The bright sunlight caused him to blink a number of times until his pupils shrank to small black dots, emphasizing more of the dark chocolate brown of his eyes. Roberta stared into his eyes, thinking back over the past week, about how different he’d turned out to be than her first impression, yet in many ways, no different at all. Nothing less than a gentleman the entire time, he’d listened to her with the right mixture of sympathy and distraction as she poured out the story of her failure at the most important relationship in a person’s life, and her poor judgment regarding Mike’s character. His steadying influence held her together when she needed it, and through his spiritual guidance she had managed to grow in spite of it. She couldn’t help but feel the bond that had developed between them. But love?
She had thought she loved Mike, and that was the biggest disaster of her life. But Garrett was nothing like Mike. Mike used his power and influence as his father’s son to intimidate people to do his bidding, where Garrett was a natural leader. His inner strength and quiet confidence left no question of his authority. Over the years of working with Mike, she’d grown used to him because she’d had to, as her supervisor and the future owner of the company. Familiarity had bred more than contempt. She’d allowed it to happen out of weakness. She saw that now.
Nothing going through her mind and heart felt the same when she thought about Garrett. At first she’d tried to get rid of him, but within a few days, she had missed him when he wasn’t nearby. When he wasn’t talking for the sake of talking, which she now suspected he did to distract her from her troubles, she enjoyed his company more than anyone else’s. It was a foregone conclusion she found him attractive. Plus, when they prayed and worshipped together, she had felt a bond like no other.
Above all, he had been totally open and honest with her, as she had been when they barely knew each other. She could do no different now.
“No,” she whispered, barely managing to speak above the volume of the rushing water, “I don’t know what’s happening, but you’re not the only one who feels something.”
Whatever he said, and she suspected it was her name, was lost as his mouth descended on hers. The sunglasses nearly fell out of her limp fingers as the touch of his tender lips seared into her memory.
For such a large man, his embrace was tender and his touch gentle as he lifted his mouth, angled his head a little more, then kissed her again. Roberta lifted herself as high as she could on her toes, leaning into him, crossing her wrists behind his neck, his sunglasses dangling from her fingers.
He made a sound that rumbled deep through his chest and kissed her again and again. Her knees nearly turned to jelly when his hands inched up
ward, along her sides, over her shoulders, until he cupped her face with both hands, and gave her one more slow, lingering kiss, ending with his lips suspended over hers and barely touching, while at the same time his thumbs gently rubbed her nape.
Slowly, she sank to rest her heels on the ground, burying her face in the center of his chest, and slipped her hands around his waist. He held her firmly but gently, like she was the most precious thing in the world. His chin rested on the top of her head.
“I’m sorry. I have to be back on duty in an hour. We have to go back.”
She backed up and offered him his sunglasses. Instead of simply taking them from her, he lifted them out of her hand with one hand, then slipped the fingers of his other hand between hers. After he slid the sunglasses back on his face, he led the way back, still holding hands.
The simple gesture demonstrated his sincerity like none other, both comforting and casual, yet understatedly possessive. In a word, cherished.
They walked hand in hand, in silence. There was no denying something had developed between them, but she couldn’t define it. If this was love, then it was a quiet comfort, riding side by side with an excitement deep inside, unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She tried to ask God for an answer, but she kept getting too distracted by the warmth of Garrett’s hand as he walked beside her.
Or was this what it was like to be, as the classic phrase said, “caught on the rebound”? She’d often heard the phrase but never understood it. Now, here she was, walking through the forest holding hands with a man she had only just met, when a week ago she wore another man’s engagement ring. She’d just kissed him too. Not just a friendly peck kind of kiss, but the kind that made a woman’s insides melt.
A week. The thought echoed through her brain. What was she doing? Had she lost her mind?
The path widened to the opening onto the road through the campground. A week. They talked of love, and she’d known him a week. And on vacation, yet not even a normal lifestyle setting. What was she doing?
She pulled her hand out of his.
“Robbie? What’s wrong?”
Garrett’s confusion nearly broke her heart. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she stammered, and ran for the amenities building, leaving him standing on the gravel road, alone.
Chapter 13
Dressed in his uniform and ready to go back on duty, Garrett waited at the entrance to the campsite. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see something was wrong, and he didn’t want to leave without talking to her. Ephesians 4:26 reverberated in his head. He couldn’t let the sun go down on her anger, not that he thought she was exactly angry, but he couldn’t let this go unattended. Time was too short.
He nearly laughed. Time? He’d known Robbie a week, but in that short week, his head and heart had been turned upside down. From the moment Robbie did a flip over his hammock, his heart had done a flip over her. But, he wasn’t foolish enough to believe in love at first sight. Rather than diminish his initial attraction, the additional time spent with her beyond that only magnified it.
His heart skipped a beat, then restarted with a thud as Robbie entered the campsite.
“Robbie? Are you all right? Can we talk about it?”
Her face paled, and she shook her head. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“I can’t talk now; I have to think. I’m sorry, Garrett.”
He didn’t like the sound of that, but she’d given him no choice. He would wait.
Roberta busied herself at the campsite, trying to fill her mind with meaningless activity, and failed. The sight of Garrett back in his uniform did strange things to her insides. He was Mr. Ranger again. Tall, dark, handsome, dedicated to his job, committed to his faith in God. If his past performance was any indication, anything he committed himself to, he would pursue with equal unfailing devotion.
Beyond the shadow of a doubt, he meant what he said about falling in love with her. Now that she was away from him, she knew she was in the process of falling in love with him too. However, she didn’t know if she could be equal to his expectations. According to Gwen, many women had wanted to be in her position. The fact that she was scared her to death.
Before she drove herself into a frenzy, Gwen and Molly returned for supper. Busy discussing the rangers they’d met once again, neither Molly nor Gwen noticed how jumpy she was as they prepared their dinner. Molly blabbered on about the ranger who had teased her about her flaming red hair, and from the sound of things, they had exchanged phone numbers, with Garrett’s recommendations.
To keep herself occupied, Roberta volunteered to take care of all the dishes after supper, while Molly and Gwen set up tarps, since the sky had clouded over. Diligently, she scrubbed every dish and glass meticulously until everything sparkled, which was difficult to do with plastic.
Seconds after Molly and Gwen excused themselves for a trip to the outhouse, Garrett showed up on his ranger rounds.
“Hi, Robbie.” He stood beside her, waiting for her to respond. Not looking up, she rewashed one of the pots, trying to scrub out a black spot that looked like it had been there for years.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong? Have I done something …?”
Roberta shook her head. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Garrett. Please understand.”
Noting the absence of retreating footsteps, she turned to see him not only still there, but with the dish towel in hand, drying the clean plates she had neatly stacked on the drainboard. His hand froze midwipe when he noticed her staring at him. “What? I do my share of the housework, even in the great outdoors.”
She nearly dropped the pot. “Aren’t you supposed to be on duty, like, being Mr. Ranger?” she squeaked out.
“Please, don’t hide from me, Robbie.”
She buried her hands in the soapy dishwater. “I’m not hiding,” she mumbled. “Things are happening too fast for me.”
Garrett finished drying the last plate, then stacked it neatly with the others.
While helpless to protest with her wet, sudsy hands, Garrett touched his fingertips to her cheek, then trailed them lightly to her ear as he brushed back a stray strand of hair. “Okay. You know where to find me.”
Just as he’d done on the first day she met him, he straightened, touched the brim of his hat, and walked out of the site.
Roberta stared into her bowl of soggy cereal, pushing all the matching colors into groups and patterns. Molly and Gwen watched her but fortunately didn’t comment. Rather than go searching for the rangers with them, Roberta grabbed a half bag of stale bread and left for the nature trail. She’d seen more than her share of rangers.
With less enthusiasm than the last time she tried this, she sat in the same spot as a short week ago, absently feeding and taking pictures of nature’s little creatures, thinking of the resident nature expert.
Being in close quarters, she actually had come to know him fairly well. She knew what activities he liked and didn’t like, she knew about his family, his job, his interests. He was devout, honest and sincere, truthful to a fault, and tremendously loyal. Over and over, she listed his good and bad qualities in her mind, but she still had to be realistic. She’d only known him a week. A short week.
She didn’t believe in love at first sight. However, she’d known Mike for years, so that was no indication of knowing a person’s character either. She needed more help than her own experience could offer. She didn’t know many verses by memory, but Proverbs 3:5–6 came to mind.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Roberta fell to her knees, alone in the quiet forest, and prayed.
Dear Lord God. I’m so sorry I’ve pushed You aside. Now here I am, asking for help. I know I made a bad choice with Mike, but now I see that You showed me before it was too late, and I thank You for that. But what about Garrett? Am I falling in love with him? Is he the one You’
ve meant for me? Please show me what to do. I’ll trust in You from now on, because You are God, the Master and Creator of all.
Roberta scrambled to her feet, her mind clear. She had let her bad experience with Mike distort her budding relationship with Garrett. She didn’t have to marry the man right away—she didn’t have to marry the man at all, but she could get to know him better. If things progressed, God would direct her to know if the relationship was good and right. He’d shown her what a creep Mike was. He could also show her what a swell guy Garrett was.
Roberta threw the bread on the ground, scooped up her camera, and ran down the path, all the way to the camper. Garrett would show up sooner or later. He always did.
While she waited, she made idle conversation with Gwen and Molly, constantly checking over her shoulder, forcing herself not to jump to her feet every time someone walked by or a vehicle slowly drove down the road. Garrett did not appear to be making the rounds.
Supper was a tasteless affair of the last of their food and leftovers thrown together. Just before sunset, someone walked down the entranceway into the campsite, but even though she recognized the ranger uniform, it wasn’t Garrett. Her heart sank. It was Molly’s ranger friend.
Roberta grabbed her flashlight and headed down the road. If he wasn’t going to come to her, she would go to him. She walked through the campground, sticking to the main road, turning her flashlight on as night started to fall. He was nowhere to be found. After more than a week of use, the white beam started to turn yellow. Roberta smacked the flashlight a few times, but it continued to dim, then went out.
She stood in the middle of the road. She could either go back to the campsite, knowing he wouldn’t show up, or go to the ranger headquarters, where he was doing whatever it was that rangers did. With the other rangers. If he was there.
