by Tamie Dearen
She blinked fast to stop her watering eyes. “I guess it’s a good thing we only have a puppy together, instead of a baby.”
“No kidding! Can’t imagine how I’d handle the stress of having a baby. Noelle and David are totally pumped about it. It’s almost freaky.”
Her empty stomach roiled. He didn’t want to be a father.
James laughed as Fezzik returned with the sock, but refused to relinquish control. “Guess I always planned on having a few kids, but I figure that’s a long way off. I’m sure not ready for it now. After talking to Noelle and David today, I’m not even sure I’m ready to be an uncle.”
“I bet you’ll be a great uncle,” she remarked, thinking he would be a great father as well, if only he wanted to be.
He stood, moving toward the door and calling Fezzik. “Think I’d better take him out before he has another accident on the floor.”
“Good idea.” The moment the door shut behind him, she fell to pieces. Any thought of telling James the truth departed when he confessed he wasn’t ready to be a father. She couldn’t let him sacrifice himself trying to do the right thing. And that’s exactly what he would do. Hadn’t he demonstrated that tonight? Though obviously exhausted, he’d dropped everything to care for her. Shara had to protect him from himself. She simply had to find a way to do it alone.
She was assuming, of course, she’d be able to carry the baby to term, which wasn’t a given. At the moment, she couldn’t keep anything in her stomach, much less eat enough to nourish a baby. An image of her belly, swollen and protruding, passed through her mind, sending tremors of dread down her spine. She had a fleeting thought that it might not be so bad if the pregnancy failed. What kind of horrible person am I?
The door opened and Fez scampered inside, hyped up from the cold and the exercise. James followed behind him, the smile on his face fading when his gaze landed on Shara.
“Your eyes are red. Are you okay?”
“My contacts are dried out.” Certainly a true statement, even if it had nothing to do with the redness in her eyes.
“I’ll get some eye drops for you. Then see if you can tolerate a popsicle.” He shuffled into her bedroom, with Fez bouncing along beside him.
Shara realized the longer James stayed, the harder it would be when he left. She had to push him away before it was too late.
“Here we go,” he said, returning with a small plastic bottle in hand. “Want me to put these drops in?”
“James, I’ve been thinking...”
“I’ll alert the media.” He gave an emphatic wink.
“I’m being serious.”
“Perhaps you’re being too serious,” he countered, kneeling beside her, and holding up the bottle. “Look up, and I’ll put a drop in your eye.”
Sighing, she decided to give up, at least until the eye drops were done.
“There.” He put the lid on the bottle and set it on the end table. “Now, I’ll fetch you a popsicle. Would you like cherry, strawberry, or grape?”
“James, I’m getting sleepy. Can’t even stand the thought of a popsicle. Time for you to go home.”
“Fine.” His smile vanished as he pointed to his downturned lips. “This is my serious face. I’m telling you right now, I’m not leaving you alone until you prove you can eat and drink without tossing your cookies. And you have to be able to get to the bathroom and back, without hanging onto anything.”
“Does crawling count?”
“What do you think?” His brows bent downward. “Do you want to try a popsicle?”
“Just want to go to bed.”
“Okay.”
Before she realized what was happening, he lifted her like a baby, cradling her against his hard chest.
“I might be able to walk, if you let me.”
“You can’t even sit up. How are you going to walk?”
“Where are you taking me?”
“To the bathroom, so you can brush your teeth.”
Propping her on her feet at the sink, he backed out of the tiny bathroom. “I’ll be right here if you need me,” he called through the thin door. There was no way she could do anything in the bathroom with him in earshot.
“I’ve got my phone,” she answered. “Go back to the living room, and I’ll call you when I need you.”
“Okay.”
Of course, she had every intention of finishing her bathroom duties and crawling to bed without his aid. She hated feeling dependent and helpless, and today she’d been nothing but. She swallowed a dose of her nausea medicine, praying it would stay down this time. But her head swam with every movement, worsening as she attempted to brush her teeth with the strong, peppermint toothpaste. And by the time she’d crawled a fourth of the way to her bed, she had to lie down to rest.
And that’s where he found her, twenty minutes later—asleep on the floor, stiff and cold. She didn’t protest when his strong arms lifted her and carried her to the soft bed. She shivered as he tucked her in the covers and added an extra blanket, fussing under his breath.
When he piled yet another blanket on top, she made a weak protest, but he told her she had to be warm to eat the twenty ice chips he had in his cup. Arguing seemed futile when her head was spinning, so she decided to renew her protests after the sun rose in the morning. When he brushed her lips with a tender kiss, she told herself she was too weak to complain.
But it was a lie, and she knew it.
Chapter Ten
James woke up with drool spilling from the corner of his mouth. Blinking to unglue his eyelids, he groaned as he tried to shift, every muscle in his body protesting. Lying on his back with one foot up on the arm of the couch and the other leg hanging over the floor, his right arm propped behind his head had fallen asleep.
At least Fezzik had slept well, waking twice to go to the bathroom, after which, a few rattles of the marble can stopped his piercing cries. But James was stiff from sleeping on the too-short couch and had probably caught pneumonia since the temperature in the basement apartment alternated between freezing and stifling as the heat cycled during the night.
A thousand tiny needles poked his right hand and arm, the blood beginning to flow again. Shirtless, he sat up, wincing and flexing his hand. The only bathroom in the tiny apartment was inside Shara’s bedroom, so he crept to her door and cracked it open.
With the room still quiet and dark, he slipped inside to make use of the bathroom before returning to check on his patient. Standing by her bedside watching her sleep, he almost felt like a stalker. She appeared like a small and helpless waif, lying in her tangle of covers, her blond hair spread out like a halo. At least her face looked peaceful, and she hadn’t needed his help since he put her to bed.
He knew she needed help to break the bulimia cycle. He had no intention of abandoning her, no matter how hard she tried to push him away. He’d stick with her until her condition improved, though it offended her stubborn pride. Her soft lips, parted in sleep, enticed him so he could hardly resist. Only the fear of disturbing her sleep prevented him from kissing those luscious lips.
He’d kissed her last night, and she hadn’t objected. Granted, she’d been half asleep, and he didn’t kiss her the way he wanted to. No, the chaste kiss he’d bestowed didn’t compare to the way he longed to possess her, to claim her lips with his. But he’d earned a kiss or two from his time taking care of her, and, if he had his way, he would earn a couple more before the weekend was over.
He tiptoed to the door, his hand on the knob, but heard her stirring. As she stretched her arms over her head, her eyes fluttered open, a smile appearing when she focused on him. That’s a good sign, right?
“Hi,” she whispered, as if her throat was too dry to make a normal sound.
“Good morning,” he answered. “How do you feel?”
“Better, I think. I kept some medicine down.”
“What can I do for you?” Besides reminding you what a real kiss is like.
“If you don’t mind, you coul
d bring me a couple of saltines.”
“Would you also like some hot tea?”
“That sounds nice.”
“You got it. Be right back.”
James took the time to arrange the tea and crackers on a tray. He entered the room as she was returning from the bathroom, her hair smooth and her face scrubbed pink.
“You must be feeling a lot better,” James remarked. “Walking on your own two feet. Much improved from last night.”
“I am better. Much better. Almost like a normal human being.” She pointed to the tray in his hand. “In fact, you can take that into the kitchen. I feel like sitting at the table.”
He led the way to the kitchen, spreading out his bounty of saltine crackers.
Nibbling on a cracker, she said, “Thank you for rescuing me last night.”
He felt his chest puffing out. “No problem. Happy to do it.”
“Where did you sleep?”
“On your couch.”
“How did you fit? It’s a love seat.”
“Can’t say I’m in love with that seat. Way too short.”
“I feel so bad. You’re a good man to do that.”
“Glad I could be there for you.”
“Me, too. But... I don’t think I need you anymore.” She took a sip of her tea, while her left hand traced a long scratch on the tabletop. “You should probably head home now.”
“Are you asking me to leave because you don’t want me here? Or is it because you don’t want me to earn any more kisses?”
Her face turned red as a crayon. “Could be both.”
“I’ve been here twelve hours, so I can already claim two dates with two kisses.”
Her mouth opened and closed like a startled guppy.
“And,” he added, with waggling eyebrows, “I never promised gentle kisses or specified how long they would last.”
“Oh. Well... uhmm...”
“Would you like a little demonstration?” He edged his chair closer. “I don’t mind giving you a taste of what’s to come.”
“Not a good idea.” She scooted her chair away.
“Don’t worry. Got no desire to kiss you right now.” He stood and grabbed Fezzik’s big bag from the corner, waiting to see if curiosity set in. He didn’t have long to wait.
“Why not? Is it because I have morning breath?”
“Nope.” He moved in front of her, leaned over, and grabbed the top of her chair on either side, effectively snaring her between his arms. “Your breath is fine. But when I kiss you, I don’t plan to chase you or trap you or force you into it. I plan to make you long for it.”
“You’re a bit on the arrogant side, aren’t you?” she asked, in an air-filled voice.
He could see her pulse beating on her neck. How he wanted to sample her tasty lips. Contrary to his claim, he was the one longing for a kiss.
“It’s only arrogant if it’s exaggerated.”
A smile fought its way onto her lips. “I supposed you’ll get your chance to prove it, if it’s true.”
He straightened, circling his hand toward her in a flourish. “Your challenge is accepted.”
JAMES LEFT WITHOUT further protest, though Shara almost changed her mind a dozen times before the door closed behind him with a dull click. As he left, he took all the joy with him, leaving her bereft and alone, despite Fezzik’s furry presence in her lap. How could she have thought she wouldn’t miss James if she had a puppy?
The popsicles James purchased turned out to be a life-saver. The icy treats settled well in her otherwise churning belly. She glanced downward and pulled up her shirt, noting the gentle rounding of her abdomen. Is it bigger than yesterday?
She jerked her shirt over her offending stomach and swallowed her prescription anti-nausea pill. Determined to keep her mind occupied so worrying about the baby and pining for James didn’t overwhelm her, she set a goal of taking Fez for a walk. She bundled up in her hat, coat, and gloves, attaching the leash to Fezzik’s collar, at which point, he bounded toward the door in bouncy hops, reminding her of the cartoon skunk, Pepé Le Pew.
Outside, the chill wind cut through her layers, but Fez, with his thick fur coat, didn’t seem to mind. A short walk took them to a local park with a small pond. She sat on a bench overlooking the water and lengthened the leash. For the most part, Fez kept himself occupied, sniffing around and pouncing on imaginary prey. But something in the pond caught his attention and he made a bee-line for it. She hit the leash’s retract button, but not in time to stop him from running straight into the water.
“Fez! No!” She was on her feet, tugging on the leash. But once in the water, Fez had no desire to leave it, splashing about with unrestrained joy. She finally succeeded in hauling him out of the pond, only to have him shake, sending a shower that drenched her from head to toe. Fezzik rolled in the grass, collecting bits of grass and debris like a coat of Velcro. Wet and shivering as the wind whipped past, Shara started home. Her happy black pup, who looked like someone had exploded a confetti egg on his fur, pranced beside her.
Why did I want a dog?
As she arrived at her apartment, shortly before noon, she found her father waiting at her door, with a stranger in tow—a burly dude in a leather jacket, cigarette dangling from his mouth pointing toward the tattoo on his neck depicting a fire-breathing dragon. Fezzik sniffed the stranger’s black boots and had started to lift his leg when Shara yelled and jerked him away with the leash.
“Dad, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is Bruiser, my newest investor. We met at Whiskey Joe’s this morning, and he’s excited about partnering in the franchise.”
She doubted anyone who drank whiskey before noon would be a wise business partner. But then again, her father’s schemes seldom appealed to anyone with an inkling of financial savvy.
“Nice to meet you, Bruiser.” Shara unlocked her door and edged inside, attempting to keep her father out. “Thanks for dropping by, Dad.”
His foot, however, moved faster than she did, wedging the door open. He leaned close and whispered, “You need to get to know this guy, Shara. He’s loaded. And he’s smart, not like that dimwit, James, who doesn’t have any business sense.”
“He’s really not my type,” she murmured, glancing at the man who leaned against the wall, took a puff on his cigarette, and blew a smoke ring, while giving her a stare that sent chills down her spine—not the good kind.
“Maybe a girl like you shouldn’t be so choosy,” her dad jabbed. “At least talk to him for a minute. You’re the only reason he agreed to invest.”
Rage built inside like steam. “I’m not your property to barter with in your business dealings.”
“Hey, Ed,” Bruiser spoke with a gravelly voice. “Seems like your daughter isn’t into me.”
“She is,” her father spoke in an anxious tone. “She’s a bit shy, is all.” His eyes pleaded with her.
“Bruiser, I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but I don’t allow anyone to smoke in my house. I imagine there are plenty of girls better suited than I am.”
He dropped the cigarette on the concrete, crushing it with the toe of his boot. “Later, Ed. I got someplace to be.”
Her dad watched him stalk up the steps, his face dejected as if his only son were walking out of his life. He grumbled, “Thanks for nothing, Shara.” Hurrying after the man, he called, “Wait up, Bruiser!”
Shara glanced down at her Fezzik, who’d curled up at her feet and fallen asleep, bits of debris still decorating his fur. “I should’ve let you take a leak on his boot.”
Chapter Eleven
The new, improved, crate-trained Fezzik certainly allowed for a better night’s sleep. But however well rested she might be, Shara was still more than ready to hand Fezzik over to James on Friday. As the puppy grew, which happened at an unbelievable rate, so did the amount of fur and slobber he left on every surface of the house. He also tracked trash and debris inside, so it seemed she was cons
tantly sweeping. Fortunately, he loved baths as much as he loved wallowing in mud puddles on walks, his new favorite pastime.
She also looked forward to the weekend to avoid Noelle’s pestering. Even Dr. Madison had jumped on the nagging bandwagon, after demanding a doctor’s report, based on the fact she was the referring dentist. Shara had cowered at sharing the news with her boss, but delivered the announcement with as much dignity as she could muster while sucking on a lemon wedge.
Dr. Madison’s reaction had been comical. First her mouth dropped open. Then her gaze fell to Shara’s still-flat belly. “Are you sure they didn’t get your blood mixed up with someone else’s?”
“I wish.”
Leesa’s fists propped on her hips. “Now, honey, I didn’t mean it that way. This baby is a new life—a gift from God.”
“But I’m not ready to be a mother. I’m not married. I can’t afford it. Plus, I’ll probably be a terrible parent, like Dad.”
“First off, what about James? I know you two broke up, but he’s still got a responsibility here. He needs to step up to the plate.”
Shara had forgotten Dr. Madison knew James as a patient.
“He doesn’t know.” She said it in a small voice, hoping it wouldn’t upset Leesa as much. It didn’t work.
“He what? Do you mean you haven’t told him he’s going to be a father?”
There’s that scary angry-face. I’m surprised any of our patients dare to neglect their flossing.
“I haven’t had a good opportunity to tell him.”
“Because you haven’t seen him?”
“Well... you see... I already know he doesn’t want to be a father.”
“If you don’t tell that boy, I’m going to tell him myself. When is he scheduled for his next checkup? It has to be soon, because I haven’t seen him in a while.”
With shaky hands, Shara typed James’ name, checking the recall schedule. “January third.” She glanced up, then looked away quickly. The scary face was still there.
