I throw the phone at Finn and grab two beers. Just what I fucking need, more shit thrown at me. I get back to the table and find it’s empty. My eyes go directly to Harper and I grin. Kace is out there dancing. He’s close to Ivy and she's smiling up at him.
I sit down and sip on my beer. Harper is as happy as I’ve ever seen her and it crushes me. She’s been through so fucking much. So much pain and suffering. The shit her father has done, it makes my body shake with anger. He should have protected her, gave her the world, but he didn’t. He used her, exploited her, physically and emotionally abused her. It’s just gotten worse since she’s been back. The secrets and lies being exposed. Her life on the line because of me. My chest feels like it’s being squeezed, so I decide to go outside to get some air. I lean against the building and close my eyes.
“What’s going on?” Kace asks, stepping beside me.
“I need to protect her, Kace. I’ll lay my life down for her, but I need to know she’ll be safe. Promise me, you’ll make sure she’s safe,” I say.
“Z, I’m not promising you shit. That sounds like you’re giving up and the Zane Madden I know would never fucking lay down and puss out.” He steps closer, grabbing my shirt in his fists. “We’re gonna kill Kingsley and anyone else that is a threat. Do you understand me? Stop taking this all on yourself. And don’t you fucking dare give up.”
I look at him, the seriousness in his face and I slap his back. “Fuck, you’re right. This is war and we’re gonna win.”
“Damn right we are.”
Chapter 18
Harper
I wake up deliciously sore from last night. Just when I think it can’t get better, it does. That man knows my body probably better than I do at this point. I take this rare opportunity to watch him sleep. He’s been on high alert, tense, and angry, because of me. Seeing him now, he looks so relaxed, so peaceful. This is what I wish for him.
The blanket is just covering him from the waist down. His upper body is on full display for me. He truly is a masterpiece, the tattoos telling the story of his life. It’s impossible to look away, even when my eyes come to rest on the tattoo that symbolizes his club. The skull with their club name, it’s sexy on him.
“Morning,” he rasps.
“Morning,” I say, pressing a kiss to his chest.
“You alright?”
His eyes are hardly open and he’s worrying about me already. I need to do something to stop his stress.
“I’m fine. I’m waking up with you, what could be better?”
He pulls me against his chest and holds me tight. He kisses my forehead and I tuck my head into the crook of his neck. “I need to get up in a few. I need to be around the table at nine.”
“Okay, baby.”
We lay there holding each other for a while until there’s a bang on the door. “Z, hurry up,” Alex says.
I groan when he moves and he kisses my lips quickly. “I shouldn’t be too long.”
He might not, but there’s no promise to that. It can be a quick fifteen minute talk or it can last hours. I watch him get dressed and once he’s ready he kisses me quickly, walking out the door. I flop down on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I can’t just stay in this room. I need to get out, go do something. I miss working and it’s fucked up because I should want to be anywhere but there. It’s just hard because it was my idea. I designed it. The construction teams changed that empty warehouse where they used to do all our dirty business, into my vision.
My phone rings and I jump to grab it. It’s probably Ivy. She and Kace got close last night. It was really sweet, and he told her he was going to bring her to work and pick her up after. She’s either calling to argue that or talk about how she was wrong about him.
I snag my phone and answer without even looking. “Hello?” I sing into the phone.
“It’s about time you answer my call.” I freeze. I’m completely unable to move or speak when I hear my father’s voice. “Where are you?”
I can’t show him fear. He’ll latch onto it and use it to his advantage. I need to relax my voice, even if my body doesn’t again.
“You’ve called?” I ask, deflecting.
“Don’t be obtuse,” he hisses. “Where have you been?”
“I don’t exactly know what you mean? I told you I was having girl time,” I say.
His manic laugh sends chills down my entire body. “Is that so?”
Any other time I’d be on top of it, throwing out bullshit stories. But, all I can think about right now is this asshole is going to kill the only man I’ve ever loved. The only person who has ever cared for me, protected me, accepted me. He’s going to kill him while I watch and make me live with that pain. I know in my soul, that’s his plan. It’s making my stomach turn.
“Alright, I’m gonna be honest with you,” I start. I close my eyes and hope this buys us some time. “I’ve been staying with Ivy, I went to school with her.”
“I know who she is,” he snaps.
“Right, well, she’s going through a hard time and she hasn’t wanted to be alone,” I lie.
“What hard time is that?” he questions.
I blow out a breath, making him think I don’t want to say, but really I’m buying time to come up with something. “She was in an abusive relationship. She’s scared to be alone, because she thinks he’ll come looking for her. I have a gun and I know how to protect myself, so I offered to help.”
“No excuse for not being at the club,” he snaps.
“I’m not making excuses, I’m telling you where I’ve been,” I say.
I know he doesn’t actually believe me, but I’m hoping maybe, even if just for a day, I have him wondering. He won’t know for sure until he’s back, which I’m hoping he’s going to reveal. If I knew when he would be home, I’d be able to better prepare. The element of surprise is best, for both of us I suppose.
“You’re done hiding, you will be back at the club today. I have someone coming and you need to pay him for me.”
My eyes prick with tears because I know exactly what he wants. I know that he still thinks he’ll get the photo proof that the deed is done. I refuse to cry, I will not give him anything else of me. He’s taken enough.
“What time?” I ask.
“You’ll get your ass over there now,” he shouts.
I sit down in the chair and try to think. “I have a doctor's appointment,” I lie again.
“For what?”
“For birth control pills. I need to see him for my refills.” The lies just keep coming.
He’s cursing and I know it’s because he’s not here to prove my lies first hand. He’s not in complete control and it’s killing him.
“Where the fuck is Sal?”
“How would I know?” I ask. The truth is, I don’t know exactly where he is and I want to keep it that way.
I hear him growl and I can picture his contoured face. His lips are in a thin line, his eyes are narrow, and his nose is flaring. I’ve seen that face more times than I care to remember. That face means bad shit is about to happen.
“You suddenly seem to know nothing about our club. That’s not how this is going. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you, get to that club and do what you’re told. Pay the man for me and find out where the fuck Sal is. I will be calling you back and you will answer your phone. Do you understand me?” he seethes.
I swallow the bile climbing up my throat. “No need to get angry,” I force out.
“There’s plenty of reasons to be furious,” he barks.
“When will you be back?”
For the first time in this conversation, he’s the one that’s quiet. It pisses me off and just as I’m about to ask again, he clears his throat.
“I’ll be home when I’m home. Get to the club.” He doesn’t wait for a reply, he hangs up.
I drop the phone to the floor and cover my face. What the hell am I gonna do? If I tell Zane he called he’s going to go crazy. If I don’t tell him, he’s
gonna be pissed. If I go I’ll probably be locked in the room until my father returns.
He knows, he knows everything. He’s playing me. There’s a plan and I probably just showed my hand. My father might be the devil, but he’s fucking smart and cunning. I need to make sure that Zane is two steps ahead. I just don’t know how.
The longer I sit here, the more sick I feel. I’m supposed to be at the club right now. I have no idea if there really is someone coming or if it was just part of his plan. Neither make me feel any better. It’s all a pressing weight on my shoulders, ready to break me. I’m not used to this. I didn’t know what my father was up to, but I knew where he was. Not knowing, is terrifying. I know fear, but this is something different. This is gut wrecking agony. It’s the thought of losing Zane.
The door opens and I jump up to grab my gun.
“Hey, woah, it’s me, babe,” Zane says.
My body is shaking without my permission. I can’t imagine what my face looks like, but it must be bad. He’s approaching me slowly, almost unsure. If he touches me I’ll break and right now I can’t break.
“Stop, I’m fine,” I say, moving from him.
“What happened, Harper?”
I turn my back to him and wrap my arms around myself. “I can’t talk about this right now, please.”
He doesn’t take my plea and he’s behind me in a flash, wrapping one arm around my shoulders from behind. “Tell me,” he whispers in my ear.
My body continues to shake, but I blink back the tears trying to spill. “My father called.”
His entire body stiffens and it does nothing to calm me down. “And?”
“And, he’s fucking infuriated. I’m supposed to be at the club right now, paying his debts, finding Sal, answering his calls. He’s going to kill you, Zane,” I yell. I’ve lost all sense of reality. I’m angry and scared, I’m shaking and stiff. I can’t process anything right now.
“Relax, babe,” he whispers, kissing my temple. “You aren’t going, you’re safe.”
He’s calm, too calm. It’s an unsettling feeling. I break out of his hold and turn to face him. “What the hell is going on?” I yell.
“We have a plan, you need to sit down and relax. No one is dying,” he says, again too calmly.
“What’s the plan?”
He wraps his arms around me and like magic, I stop shaking. He tightens his grip and I fist his shirt in my hands. I can feel my body start to relax and I look up at him. “I’ll explain it all, but right now, I just need you to tell me the entire conversation. I need to know word for word what he said. Also, I need your cell phone.”
I have no fight left in me, so I don’t pull away. “Why?”
“Alex is gonna try to track where he called from. If we know where he is, we’re a step ahead,” he explains, kissing my lips.
After replaying the conversation, word for word, Zane goes back to the guys. He doesn’t leave me this time. He has me sitting at a table with Finn looking on. I wanted to refuse to give him my phone, but I knew in the end he’d get it anyway. Whether I gave it to him or he took it. It just wasn’t worth the fight.
Knowing they are all in there talking about how to kill my father is numbing. I feel nothing. I have no remorse, no anger, no regrets. If I’ve learned anything the last few weeks, it’s that my father is the true enemy. He’s the purest form of evil and he’ll destroy anything in his path.
I rest my head down and like a movie, pieces of my life start flashing through my mind. It’s the good parts, the parts before everything around me was sinful. It’s my mother smiling at me. Her tender eyes, her soft touch, her loving arms. I remember playing outside, splashing in the pool, sleeping under the stars. She never left me. She slept in my bed. She always held me close. She was never more than two steps away. I remember yelling. She never yelled, but she was screaming. I was scared because she wasn’t in my bed. I cried. She begged.
I jump up and knock my water over. Finn comes rushing over and my hand flies to my mouth. The tears are unstoppable.
He killed her.
Chapter 19
Zane
When Finn came rushing into the room, he almost got himself shot. When he told us what happened, I ran to her side. I can’t tell her I had a feeling that’s what happened. She’s got enough going on, but I remember listening to my mom, Gloria, and Nora talking. I was young, but I remember them saying they thought Kingsley killed her. There were only rumors so I never said anything, but her memory seems pretty clear. Her mother did everything to protect her from Kingsley. She knew what his plans were for their daughter and she died trying to protect her.
Every new thing I learn makes me wish we’d killed him years ago. I know the damage to Harper was already done, but she would’ve moved on. With me.
She’s asleep now, in my arms. She cried and begged me to stay. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, but I guess she just needs the reassurance.
We discussed our plan, which I will tell Harper. We’re going to move everyone to the new Souls location. It’s not known to anyone and they’ll be safe. We are going to go in, guns drawn, and kill everyone until we reach Kingsley. He’s mine. I will torture him, make him beg for his life, before I rip his heart out.
The only thing we need to find out is when he’ll be back. We are sitting on his club day and night, but nothing yet. Alex is trying to get a track off Harper’s phone, so I’m hoping we have some luck. I don’t want to cause Harper more problems, but I need to ask her about her past. I need to know about ex’s. They could be a link to the notes. No one is talking and I need fucking answers. I need to know about the notes and the break-ins. But the most important thing is to keep Harper safe.
The look on her face when she talked to her father and the sadness when she remembered her mother, it shredded my heart. She’s my number one priority. I will kill everyone in the way of her safety and happiness.
A light knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. “Yeah?” I whisper.
Alex opens the door and closes it quietly behind him. He leans against the dresser, crossing his arms. “How is she?” he asks, lifting his chin to Harper.
“A fucking mess.” I tighten my hold on her, hoping she can feel me in her sleep. “What did you find out?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Kingsley must’ve removed everything from his phone. He’s not fucking stupid. I mean odds are it was a burner he tossed anyway.”
I expected as much, but it was worth a try. “I can’t leave her alone. Get Kace to bring Ivy here. It’s better than just Finn staring at her. Not until I talk to her though, see if I can find out anything.”
He nods and leaves the room as quietly as he entered.
“What do you need to talk about?” Harper asks.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to wake you, babe,” I say, kissing her head.
She clears her throat and sits up next to me. “You didn’t, I was awake before Alex came in. So talk because honestly I want this fucking day over with.”
I fucking hate this for her, but we need answers. “We still have no idea on who left the notes. So I need to know about your ex’s. Who they are, how it ended, if they are jealous,” I say, trying to just get it over with for her.
She laughs and it sounds hollow. She shakes her head and drops her face in her hands, letting out a murderous scream. When she’s done, she jumps out of the bed and starts pacing. “So let’s see, in first grade there was that kid, John, remember him? He was cute, but cried a lot. Never took him to be the jealous type. Second grade though, Ryan, that kid had anger. Definitely put him on the list. Third grade was a tough year, with my dad murdering my mom and all. But fourth grade..”
“Stop, Harper, come on, babe. That’s not what I meant,” I plead.
“Oh it’s not? You didn’t just say you wanted to know about my ex’s?” She stops pacing and locks her unreadable eyes with mine. “I’m ripped open, spilling the blood of my past. Everything I’m ashamed of, everything that was just
for me to know. I have nothing left. My father and Shattered Souls have every last piece of me.” She closes her eyes briefly before stepping closer to me. “I had fuck buddies, that’s it. Most of them didn’t even know who I was. They sure as fuck wouldn’t have the balls to threaten me. If you want names, I’ll give you the one I know. Zane Madden.” She pulls the door open and slams it behind her.
“Fuck,” I growl.
By the time I catch up to her, she’s throwing back a shot. “Oh do you need a list of my drinks too?”
“Enough,” I snap. I grab her elbow and pull her away from the bar. “You have every right to be pissed and take it out on me. But don’t for one second think that anything I do isn’t out of pure love for you. I can’t keep you safe and not know what’s out there. I’m sorry it feels like I’ve ripped you open, but fuck, let me put you back together. Don’t pull away. We’re gonna get through this, alright?”
“What if we don’t?” she questions.
“Then I’ll die trying.”
She searches my eyes and I fucking hope she finds what she’s looking for. Her deep blue eyes are wild right now. I don’t move, I just let her hunt for the answers she’s seeking. The minute she finds it, my Harper is back. Her body relaxes, her eyes soften, and her lips tip up a bit. I have no idea what she found, but it worked.
“I need to get out of here. Can we go to your place?” she asks.
“Whatever you want,” I say, pulling her to me.
“Someone needs to get Ivy. She’s in far too much danger after talking to him today. I need to make sure she’s safe.”
I kiss the corner of her mouth and grin. “Like I said, whatever you want.”
“I want to talk to your mom, Gloria, and Nora. Can you have them stop by too?”
I tilt my head. “Do you really want that?” She nods her head and I sigh. “Alright, let’s go.”
“Harper, what the fuck,” Ivy whispers.
She just spent the last few hours telling Ivy everything. Too much if you ask me. Kace and I have been in and out, giving them privacy, but still keeping an eye on them. Luckily for Kace, Ivy came without a fight this time.
Shattered (Shattered Souls MC Book 1) Page 14
