Andy is staring at me in shock, his jaw hanging open like a frog on a fly-catching marathon. I try to explain that those things I put down aren’t people. I know it, but he isn’t listening. He steps off the train and runs towards the station entrance. I get off, close the door and wander after him, but at the ticket gate there’s a flock of people – only they’re not anymore and they take him down. There’s fuck all I can do again and I’m choking. Why can’t I fucking do anything? What the hell is going on?
With no other exit, I sprint back to the driver’s cab and throw my stuff inside. Once in, it takes me a while to calm myself. This shit is real, but it can’t be real. This shit is real, man. But it can’t be. That’s me for a good long time, and then something snaps back into place and I can start the train. I plan to go as far as Apsley and head to the police station. On the way I call my dad to tell him he was right. Also, that I have Mr C and I thank him for saving my bacon.
Monday 31
“Good afternoon, Ellen, Marla,” Doctor Grice greeted them, “please take a seat. You remember Owen, yes?”
“Of course,” Ellen replied, nodding to the young man as she sat down at the desk in the monitoring room. Marla smiled and took the adjacent chair.
“Well,” the doctor continued, “Owen and I have discussed your first session. Before we go into that, I’d like you to tell me how you felt when you woke up. Although you both went to sleep at the same time, Ellen, you slept for about two hours longer than your sister. Is that usual?”
Ellen laughed. “I guess so. I always used to sleep a lot before the dreams, so maybe I’m sleeping more again.”
“You definitely are,” Marla agreed. “On the journey up here you were gradually sleeping a little more.”
“Really? Okay.” Ellen smiled awkwardly.
“Do you know why that might be?” asked Doctor Grice.
Ellen twisted her hands in her lap. “Erm… maybe I’ve got used to them. I used to wake in a cold sweat, feeling scared with my heart racing. Now I’m a bit scared, but only in the way you always are after a nightmare. Before, I was terrified because it was so real, as if it was really happening. Now I can handle it.”
“Do you know why?”
Ellen shrugged. “Me and Marla have spoken about this before, and decided it’s because of what we’ve seen out there.” She nodded towards the window in the adjoining room, seen through the glass partition. “Our reality now is what’s in my dreams.”
“They seem the same?”
“Exactly, and the feeling of fear is the same, but it’s hard to explain.”
“It’s as if the two are identical,” Marla chipped in, leaning forward. “Ellen had the dream first and I didn’t believe it, but then I had it and I just had to believe. It was terrifying. Then we started seeing dead people coming back to life in real life, so the nightmares seemed less… erm, eventful, as if we’d seen it all before.”
“So you became desensitised because your reality is the same as your dreams?” asked Owen.
“Exactly. Daily life is more frightening now,” Marla replied with a smile. “I know it sounds crazy.”
“No, no, it doesn’t. It makes sense to me,” Owen replied. “There are others who…”
Marla glanced at him, but Doctor Grice tapped his pen on the table. “Are your dreams the same?” he asked sharply.
“Pretty much,” Ellen replied.
“Right, can you tell me what you dream, Ellen?” he asked, turning on his tape recorder.
She took a deep breath. “Okay. Ugh, I get this trickle of cold down my back just thinking about it, as if I’m not meant to say. You know, like when you’re little telling a secret, but someone doesn’t want you to tell?”
Doctor Grice frowned. “Who doesn’t want you to tell?”
Ellen giggled slightly and bit her lip. “Take no notice of me. It’s a silly feeling I get. Please don’t take that comment seriously.” She wriggled in her seat and leaned back before continuing, “In the dream there is this corridor and I’m wandering down it, and I see a bed on which there is someone lying. When I get there I notice that it is a man. He’s sleeping and he looks normal.”
Ellen paused and swallowed. “But then he changes... his skin begins to flake... his face starts to rot, his eyes sink back into his skull and his hair falls out, and all this seems to take forever. Eventually, he looks at me. I can’t move for some reason. I’m frozen to the spot. Then he gets up real slow and I want to run away, but I can’t. I’m stuck. This man, he cannot talk because he has no tongue. His mouth is this big, black gaping hole where there should be something. I scream and the screams echo, but no one comes, and I try to run, but I can’t.”
Owen leaned forward, looking concerned, but the doctor’s face remained passive.
“Then he grabs my arm and he sinks his teeth into it, and I’m yelling even louder, but I still can’t run,” Ellen continues. “My body won’t move and all I can do is watch as he rips the flesh from my arm. It hurts like hell and I can’t stop screaming. Then he moves even closer. His mouth moves up my arm, biting higher and higher, getting nearer to my face, and I still can’t move.
“At that point I sense someone behind me, but they don’t come forward to help. I manage to turn my face, but I can’t see anyone, yet I know there is someone there, watching. I don’t know who it is and I scream for them to help me, but they stay hidden. Then I hear someone laugh, but they are far away. The pain is overwhelming now and I feel sick. Once again I try to run, but I feel each tendon in my arm snap. The man’s face is in front of mine again, and I can see the skin rotting and the empty sockets where his eyes used to be, the maggots writhing, and I can smell this sickly scent. Then he opens his mouth. I try to scream out, but I can’t this time, and I’m so scared, and then I’m falling backwards into the dark.”
Ellen opened her eyes. Everyone was looking at her and a heavy silence filled the spaces between them all. Doctor Grice broke it: “Does the dream always end there?”
She swallowed. “Yes,” she answered softly, “it’s always exactly the same, down to the last detail. But that’s not all. There is a voice. It sounds like a man, but I cannot tell if it is one person or many, as it seems to echo. It’s like I’m thinking things, but someone else is speaking them, so I can’t tell if they are my thoughts… it’s so confused. The voice tells me this is a warning, but I can’t run away. I can’t move at all. He tells me this will be the last warning before the end. Then pain overwhelms me in the dark, but for some reason I do not die, and the thing continues to bite until I wake.”
Marla hugged her sister with one arm. “That’s the same dream I have as well, except…”
“Except what?” asked Doctor Grice, adjusting his glasses with fingers that trembled. His tongue slid along his bottom lip for a second.
Distracted, Ellen refocused. “Mine is more detailed. We compared them. In Marla’s dream she hears laughter, but it goes on for longer in mine and although there is a voice warning me, there isn’t in Marla’s. I remember from the TV interview with the scientist who had this nightmare first that he heard a warning. And my dreams started on the same day as his. Marla’s came later.”
“Can you see the person who is laughing, Ellen?” the doctor asked.
She shook her head.
“Or the person who warns you?”
“No, and it’s vague. Like I said, it’s as if I’m hearing my own thoughts, except the voice is male. I think of it as a ghost in my head.”
Owen leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, visibly disturbed by what he was hearing.
“What do you think it means?” asked Marla. “That’s what I don’t understand – our dreams are the same, but not completely. It would be one thing for people to hallucinate the same thing, caused by something, but how could you imagine subtle differences? I mean, if these dreams were caused by a virus or something you ate, surely they’d be the same?”
“I have no idea, to be honest,” Doctor Gri
ce replied, “but I’d like to try to help as much as I can. You said you used to wake up in a cold sweat, Ellen, but now you don’t. However, our monitors show that your temperature does rise during the nightmare, although it goes back to normal before you wake. Your heart rate increases and slows down right before as well, although it doesn’t quite return to normal. It’s very unusual and fascinating. I’ve never come across anything quite like it. We’ve only had two other people here who experienced this, and you are the first siblings. There are others at more facilities…”
“Are they having tests too?” asked Ellen.
The doctor nodded. “Yes. We would like to get to the bottom of it. The government would like to know what caused these dreams. One theory is mass terror from seeing the zombies, but, as you say, these dreams were reported before any sightings, unless there were sightings and those experiencing them blocked the memory and somehow turned them into a nightmare, subconsciously, of course. That’s one theory. Another one was that there was something in the food or water in some kind of terrorist attack, designed to cause panic, etcetera, but that seems too far-fetched to me,” he added with a smile.
“We are looking for a common denominator among the patients,” said Owen, “but so far we are unable to find one.”
“What about the scientist who had the dream first?” Marla asked.
Doctor Grice raised his eyebrows and tapped his pen again. “Dr Charles Enderson? Hum, he is not listed as having arrived at any of the refugee places, so we fear he has not survived the epidemic, unfortunately. I would have liked to have spoken with him. It seems that he and you, Ellen, were among the first to have this dream. I haven’t met anyone like you. Everyone else, your sister included, started having these nightmares three weeks afterwards.”
“I was hoping he survived,” said Ellen. “I wanted to meet someone else who…” She paused and glanced down at her hands. “Do you really think you can cure me of them?”
“We will try,” the doctor responded. “But I think it is unnecessary for us to continue all these tests. I will show you the results in a second, but first of all, Ellen, as your dreams are richer than those of your sister, I was wondering whether you’d mind being the guinea pig in the family, to use Marla’s phrase?”
Ellen smiled slightly. “No, I don’t mind if it helps. Marla’s helping in the guard anyway, so this gives me something useful to do!”
The doctor grinned. “That’s good. Feel free to ask as many questions as you like and if you’re not happy with anything to do with the tests please say so. We want to work with you on this and your input is very much appreciated.”
“Can I speak to the other two people who have had the dream?” asked Ellen. “You said there are two?”
“Yes, and they both started having the nightmares after the three-week period. It is best you don’t speak with them. We are trying to keep the dreamers anonymous. No one wants that kind of attention and we don’t want you to influence one another when it comes to remembering the details of the dreams.”
Ellen nodded. “That makes sense, but it’s good to know I’m not the only weirdo.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Doctor Grice assured her. “We’re all weird in our own little way. We would like you to sleep here a couple of nights a week. I think it’s unnecessary to ask you to come every day. Please don’t take any naps during daytime and try to avoid caffeine, at least on the days we are studying you. If you take any prescription drugs at all, you must tell me. That’s about it really, Ellen, but do try to keep your stress levels down. It might be a good idea to speak to the therapist about relaxation techniques and doing yoga or something like that.”
“Or a massage,” suggested Marla.
“Now that’s tempting,” Ellen answered. “I love tea and I’ve become a bit addicted to coffee. I started drinking a lot of it to stay awake and avoid sleeping.”
“I see. Well, you’re safe in here, so if you could try to reduce it that would be helpful,” said Doctor Grice. He then turned to his colleague and pointed at the monitors. “Right, Owen, take it away.”
The young man turned around and everyone moved their chairs closer to the screen. “Looking at the polysomnogram here, this shows REM – that’s rapid eye movement to you and me,” he began. “The bottom levels on the chart show deep sleep while the top levels show when you are awake and REM. As you can see, Ellen’s period of REM is longer. Marla, you go in and out of deep sleep, and appear to have more normal REM, although it is still different from the average person.”
Owen turned from the monitor. “Let me explain what we are measuring here and how sleep works. I think it’s fascinating. Sleep is caused by natural cycles of activity in the brain. It is made up of two states: REM, when you dream, and non-REM, which is what we call deep sleep and it’s a time of non-rapid eye movement. While you are sleeping, you cycle between the two states. Usually, people start with a period of NREM sleep, followed by a very short period of REM. The period of NREM is made up of four stages, and each one can last five to fifteen minutes. In a complete cycle, we go through all four stages before reaching REM when we dream, and then the cycle restarts. That’s how it should be.”
“But I’m not doing that?” asked Ellen.
Owen shook his head. “No, and that’s unusual. You are almost skipping NREM altogether and seem to be stuck in REM. You’re dreaming all the time and you’re not entering deep sleep.”
“At all?”
“Well, look,” he answered, pointing to the screen. “You are, but only for a brief time.”
“Is that bad?” asked Marla.
“Well,” Doctor Grice cut in, “Deep sleep is important because that is when your body repairs itself and regenerates tissue, builds bone and muscle, and boosts your immune system. So, Ellen, we should give you a full health check to be on the safe side.”
“Thanks. I do feel tired at times and less refreshed than I used to, although I’ve got used to it,” said Ellen. “But I thought I was in deep sleep.”
“Well, it is unusual, but we will make sure everything is alright. We don’t want you to be at risk at all. Anyway, please go on, Owen.”
The young man smiled. “REM should occur about ninety minutes after you fall asleep. The first period usually lasts ten minutes and each recurring stage gets gradually longer, with the final dream state lasting up to an hour. In people with sleep disorders their heart rate and respiration speed up during REM, becoming erratic. Ellen, your results are extreme, but are almost back to normal right before you wake. Marla, yours are less unusual, but still higher than normal. As we discussed earlier, it seems you have both become desensitised to your nightmares, or at least your minds think so. But, Ellen, what is really important is you’re basically dreaming all the time.”
Marla scratched her head. “I’m surprised. I expected our results to be the same, Owen.”
“We did too,” he responded. “I guess this is why your sister feels more tired in general than you do, and you are more active, I’m guessing.”
“That’s true,” said Ellen. “I often feel spaced out.”
Owen nodded. “There you go. Intense dreaming occurs during REM as a result of heightened brain activity, but at the same time the major voluntary muscle groups are paralysed. So, basically, your brain gets really excited, but your body doesn’t move. You can’t do anything while you dream.”
“So that’s why we can’t make ourselves wake up and why I saw you, Ellen, sleeping as if you were… I don’t want to say the word again, so I’ll say frozen!” remarked Marla. “The first time I saw her dreaming this, Doctor, it scared the life out of me. There was this awful scream and I went running into my lounge where she was sleeping. Ellen’s mouth was wide open and she was staring up at the ceiling, but she was totally motionless and her breathing was really light. The expression on her face scared me. She looked terrified and felt cold. I couldn’t wake her at all. I threw water on her in the end.”
“Did tha
t work?” asked Doctor Grice.
“Yes,” Ellen recalled.
“That scares me too – how people might react if they see us sleeping like that. Ellen always sleeps with her eyes open, but, apparently, I don’t. We just explained to the people close to us and they haven’t mentioned anything,” Marla added. “So I hope it didn’t scare them.”
“Except Barney thought I was a weirdo for a while!”
“Barney?” asked Owen.
Ellen smiled. “He’s a boy we met on the way here. He was kinda scared when he first saw me sleeping, but I told him that’s how I dream – that I’m different; that everyone is different. He didn’t ask again.”
“Sweet, but I guess most people are asleep too, and don’t notice,” Owen assured her. “By the way, Marla, did you know you snore?”
Marla grimaced. “No!” Ellen smirked and she nudged her. “I’m sure I don’t!”
“Well, you do,” Owen corrected, “but it’s a pretty easy thing to solve and it’s not loud, I can assure you.”
Ellen burst into giggles. “I tried telling you, but…” And then she cracked up again.
Marla folded her arms. “Okay, okay, sorry if it echoed around the boat!”
“It was fine,” Ellen replied, calming herself.
The sisters looked away from each other to find Doctor Grice and Owen staring at them patiently. “Sorry,” muttered Marla, “please carry on.”
Owen grinned. “Right, everyone experiences the highest percentage of REM as children and it declines as we get older. Adults are only meant to spend one-fifth of their sleep in REM, so you can see why Ellen’s case is unusual. REM is important for memory and cognitive development, by the way. Okay, so we also checked your breathing and other things. Ellen, once again we found more irregularities in your results. We would have expected it to cause your body to move while sleeping, but you stay totally still, and that is unusual.”
I Dream of Zombies (Book 2): Haven Page 10
