He shakes his head. “Was waiting for you.”
“That’s sweet.”
Manuel grimaces. “I’ve never been called ‘sweet’ a day in my life.”
“Come on,” I say, hooking my arm through his. “You can berate my word choices while we eat everything in sight.”
There are clay platters filled with every kind of fruit available in the jungle—guava and sliced oranges, mangoes already peeled and quartered, grapefruit and papaya. The main dishes are crispy stingray fins, grilled catfish, oven-baked tail of caimán, and roasted armadillo. Manuel says the taste of it is different for everyone.
“It’s fishy to me, but to you, armadillo might taste like steak. It’s a running joke around here.”
I take a small nibble from his plate and confirm it tastes like steak. We stand off to the side, enjoying bites of food. I enjoy spoonfuls of rice paired with runny eggs and sun-dried beef—and it’s all so good, it practically melts in my mouth. He grabs the fried yuca from my dish.
“So, Manuel …” I say in between bites. “How would you—”
He lowers his spoon. “I’m not dancing with you.”
“You’re not? Why?”
“Don’t you think we’ve done enough things together?” he demands. “We’ve slept in the same bed, eaten off of each other’s plates, and bathed at the same time. We’ve kissed—three times—and now we’re going to dance? This is already too hard.”
I want to dance precisely because I might not have another opportunity. But he’s right. We keep walking right up to the edge, as if daring fate. But she’s spoken and the way forward is clear—and it doesn’t include Manuel.
And then something shifts in his face. The control over his features loosens, giving way to a stark, vulnerable look that robs me of my breath. As if he’d been thinking the same thing, realizing that we’re at the end of the road, he and I. All that’s left is to go our own ways.
“Let’s dance,” he whispers. “Just once.”
We stack our used plates at the end of the table and turn toward the dancing area. He becomes quiet as we approach, but the music is a powerful master, issuing commands and demanding us to follow its loud beat. Manuel moves with the rest of the men in the outer circle, and I follow the women in the inner circle. Every time he passes me, our gazes collide. It’s enough to almost make me forget the steps. I twirl and spin as Manuel leaps and jumps.
When the music slows, we’re facing each other again, half laughing and half panting.
“You lied to me,” I accuse. “You said you couldn’t dance.”
Manuel shrugs, a sheepish smile on his face.
I laugh, wanting to capture the moment in a bottle and relive it every chance I get. I’m still chuckling when Sonco walks up to us. “Good evening, Catalina,” he says. “You look beautiful. The sandals look good too.”
Manuel’s face rearranges into a polite veneer.
“Oh, gracias, Sonco,” I quickly say. “Have you met Manuel? Officially, I mean. We grew up together.”
Sonco studies my companion. Both stand straighter, their shoulders rolling back, their chins lifting. Normally I’d find this kind of posturing funny, but Manuel’s completely locked up. Retreated behind an impenetrable door.
“It’s nice to meet you, Manuel. Thank you for keeping the condesa safe.” There’s a pitch to Sonco’s voice that’s meant to cause disruption. The Illari leader faces me, effectively cutting Manuel out of the conversation. “I have something else for you.” His words come out hesitant and a little shy.
“One gift is enough,” I say firmly. “You’ll spoil me.”
“Two gifts will hardly rot your character.”
He digs into his trousers and pulls out a gold necklace with a large crescent moon charm dangling at the end. It’s made of hammered gold and roughly half the size of my palm. The jewelry is the loveliest I’ve ever seen. This is quite a present.
“I can’t accept it.” I take a step backward.
“Nonsense.” Sonco carefully places the necklace over my head. He studies my appearance. “It matches your tunic perfectly.”
I glance down at my clothes. “Did you leave this for me?”
Sonco nods. “I wanted you to have something new. You’re the guest of honor, after all.” He holds out his hand. “Will you join me for a dance?”
Even though it’s the height of rudeness not to reply at once, I sneak a glance at Manuel. He’s turned away, his face is too hard to read.
“Sorry, was I interrupting?” Sonco asks.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say yes, but Manuel stops me cold.
“Not at all.” His tone is the perfect blend of courtesy and respect. “The condesa was just mentioning how she loves to dance.”
The Illari leader immediately holds out his arm.
Manuel slowly distances himself, creating boundaries once more. Blood rushes to my face, fills my cheeks.
Manuel inclines his head to Sonco, and then to me, as if we were a matching set of nobility, bound together by our titles. Then he walks away as Sonco tugs my arm toward the crowd of people dancing, unaware that my heart splinters into a million pieces.
CAPÍTULO
Veintinueve
As soon as my dance with Sonco is over, he leads me to one of the small alcoves, his hand engulfing mine. I chance a quick look at the temple entrance, but there’s no sign of Manuel. Sonco clears his throat, and I return my attention to the Illari king.
“You care for your guard,” he says.
My cheeks warm, but I don’t deny it.
He studies me carefully and quietly. As each second passes, dread pools in my belly. I know where this conversation is going, and I’m not prepared for it. I’d hoped finding the flower in the city would be enough to prove myself. I don’t want to marry him, but I do need his army.
“I’ve been considering the matter and have come to a conclusion that feels right to me,” he slowly begins. “I think you can thrive here, Catalina. I am looking for a capable seer with a true heart, who would make a fine partner.” He smiles briefly. “I regret the feelings you have for another, but I hope, in time, we might have a successful and effective union. I’d have another seer in the family, and you’d have your army.”
My breath hitches at the back of my throat. This is what I’ve wanted, what’s pushed me through the hardest days in the jungle. The reason why I kept going. He’s offering me a position most would die for—a chance to rule Inkasisa, and a say in the governance of the people of Paititi. It’s more than I dreamed of. What’s more, he’s under no illusions about the match. This is a business arrangement, nothing more.
“Will you consider my proposal?” he asks quietly. “I believe it’s a practical solution to your predicament, and your blessing from Luna will help keep Paititi safe.”
For some unfathomable reason, Ximena pops into my mind—her determined face, the scowl she wears when wielding a dagger. She didn’t think I could be queen. But as I stare at Sonco, I wonder if I twisted her words so that they sounded like disapproval instead of the advice of a friend. I close my eyes and her voice rings loudly in my ear: I love you, you’re my best friend, and I know you. If you forget the throne, you’ll be free to be the person you’re supposed to be. Can’t you understand what I’m saying?
At the time I didn’t. The only thing I heard was that she didn’t think I had enough iron in my blood to be queen. She thought me weak, someone who cared too much about what others thought. And perhaps some of that is true, but with miles between us, with the passing of time, her words don’t sound like a weapon against me.
Suddenly the idea of another war doesn’t sit well with me at all.
“Catalina?” Sonco asks in a gentle tone. “What do you think?”
I slip my hand from his.
I rush out of the cavern and race down the hall, my sandals angrily slapping against the stone. I burst out into the warm night air, Luna shining down on me, embracing me as if I were a long-
lost child. I stalk toward the steps, barely noticing the call of the moon.
“Catalina.”
I jump a foot and spin wildly at the sound. Manuel steps out from the shadows and walks into the light, his expression calm and controlled. I want to shake him, drop him in a river and wash off that impervious mask.
“I’m astonished you’d wait for me. I thought you’d run.”
Like you did last time, and I didn’t see you again for three years.
“I didn’t want you searching for me at all hours of the night, potentially getting lost or hurt.”
What a reasonable and logical statement. It sits at the back of my throat, nearly choking me. “Well, you have something to say, I’m sure of it.”
“I do,” he says, and jerks his chin away from the corridor entrance. “Take a walk with me.”
“I’m not sure I want to.”
He overturns a rock with the toe of his boot. I frown. Unnecessary gestures don’t fit him. He’s usually controlled, his movements economical. “There are things I have to say.”
“I won’t stop you from saying them.”
We take the flight of stairs down to the bottom level and walk idly on the path, meandering through the different districts. No one is around. It’s just us and the moon and whatever words the stars have carved against the black night. Manuel keeps several feet between us, and it takes everything in me not to yell or cry.
“I did a lot of thinking out here while you were dancing—”
“Of course,” I mutter.
For a moment his eyes flash. Triumph blazes deep in my veins.
“—and I’ve come to a decision.”
I brace myself, and his face softens, only just. Enough to slay me.
“Sonco is interested in you. From what I can tell, and from what others say about him”—he breaks off, swallowing hard—“he’s a good man who will take care of you. You need to give a relationship with him a chance. He’s the ruler of Paititi; you could do worse. I think there is a very real chance he will marry you, but not if I’m around.”
By “worse” he means himself. And the thought makes my blood riot. I stop on the path, my eyes wide in shock. We’re standing right in front of the entrance to the market. All the stalls are closed up, the lids of baskets tied down, the woven mats rolled up, the food stored away. “You are worthy.”
“Not of you.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Catalina.” He folds his arm across his chest. “No.”
“¿Por qué?”
“It’s the wisest move for you to make. I’m honor-bound to do right by you, to respect the title you carry and the position you’ve been groomed for. It can’t be wasted on me.”
“Wasted?”
“You’ll be safe here,” he continues, as if I haven’t spoken. “I thought you were open to the idea of marrying him?”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“Catalina, consider all of your options. What do you want more than anything?”
I don’t hesitate, even as the word surprises me. “You.”
He flinches. “That’s not true. You want the throne. And this is how you’ll get it, by marrying into a powerful family with an army. Think about it. Even if your mission in La Ciudad doesn’t succeed, you’ll still be in a position of power here, and safe.”
This is the moment to tell him that I’ve already turned down Sonco, that I’ve already chosen a future that doesn’t result in war. It’s time I trust the friend who’s spent a decade of her life pretending to be me, risking her own life. Ximena chose to support Tamaya for a reason, not because she found me lacking, but because she knew Luna had a better path for my life.
I am a seer. Not a queen.
I bite my tongue. If Manuel doesn’t trust what I want and doesn’t stop making decisions for me, then we’ll never work. I want him to be with me because he wants to, not because I’ve given up the throne. I want him to have faith in who we are together.
He takes both of my hands, his voice pleading. “I’m a ranger. You have a chance here for real security, something I’ll never be able to give you. My name doesn’t come with power or a title or money. My whole life has been shaped and forged to protect you, and this is the best way of achieving that.” He swallows hard and looks away. “Give him a chance. He’s fair and decent.”
Yes, his words are sensible and perhaps even honorable—I’m really starting to hate that word—but there’s a raw quality to his voice that I find particularly interesting. I take a step forward and he stiffens.
“Would you ever lie to me, I wonder?”
“I might to protect you.”
“I’m not an infant,” I snap. “And I’d like to ask you a question, but only if you give me the courtesy of treating me as an adult.”
He glowers at me. “What is it?”
“Do you love me?”
“Hell,” he says, and then lets out a low curse. “I’m not answering that.”
I wait. Only the frogs croaking and owls hooting break the sudden quiet.
“You know I do, damn it,” he snarls. “Do you think this is easy for me? It’s not. Do you think I don’t have emotions? I do. Don’t make this harder than it has be. Let me move on in peace.”
A cavernous pit opens in my heart. He’s not going to fight for me—for us. I can hardly believe it. “This is really your decision, Manuel? The only option you see is for me to marry Sonco?”
It’s as if I’ve employed the worst kind of enchantment and turned him to stone. The blood leaves his face, leaving him pale, and his eyes darken into thunderous pools. He is deadly quiet, and then his lips twist. “He can provide for you in a way that I can’t.” He sweeps his arm wide. “Look what he has, Condesa—a kingdom, loyal subjects. A powerful army. You’re his match. It’s clear to everyone but you.”
“At least he has the courage to reach for what he wants. At least he isn’t a coward.” My voice turns sour, as if I’ve dredged it through lemon juice. “Manuel, you don’t need to say another word. I understand you quite well.”
He flinches, steps away from me as if my words are a blade. Tears run down my face. I’ve hurt him. I’ve hurt us both.
“I’m not a coward for acting in the way I’ve been trained to act,” he says stiffly. “I’m not a coward for being the best guard I know how to be. I can’t believe you’d say that to me, knowing how I feel. I should never have entertained—should never have acted on my emotions.”
“There’s nothing more to say.” My voice cracks. “I’m sorry it had to end this way.”
“Me too,” he whispers.
Neither of us moves or speaks or even blinks for several long, torturous seconds. It’s over, really over, this time, but I can’t make myself walk away.
When the screaming starts, I blink stupidly, as if our argument, Sonco’s proposal, and this whole night were nothing but a terrible nightmare. Manuel reacts faster than I do, racing toward the temple. I follow at his heels.
“Go back!” he yells.
“Don’t you tell me what to do,” I snap as I dash into the cavern. People are rushing past me, shoving to get away from whatever is happening inside. My mouth goes dry as I draw closer to the fiesta. What is happening? Is there an attack?
“Damn it, Catalina. I’m still your guard!” Manuel roars, weaving in and out of the crowd.
Another horrifying bellow echoes in the tunnel. We burst into the main room in time to see a young man approach an Illari woman who’s cowering under one of the tables. His too-pale skin glimmers in the torchlight as he bends and drags the poor woman out by her hair. Someone else attempts to deter the attack, but the pale man slams a fist into their stomach, catapulting the Illari into the wall with a sickening crunch.
Then the pale man rips the arm of the Illari woman clean from her body.
Blood and bone splatter.
CAPÍTULO
Treinta
Manuel shoves me behind his back, reaches into his boots, and
pulls out two thin blades. He lunges forward, swiping at the pale man. He’s only a few years younger than me. There’s something odd about the way he moves, and his hands—they look charred. As if he’s dipped his palms in coal.
A woman to my right screams and faints. I drop to my knees as recognition sets in. I know this woman—she was the one who’d lost track of her son. The one I helped search for. In horror, I look to the pale boy, who’s being restrained by Manuel and Kusi and now several guards. Sonco rushes forward and gives the order to kill him.
It’s done in seconds. Manuel digs his blade deep into the boy’s neck and twists sharply.
I avert my gaze, gagging, my eyes prickling with tears.
When it’s over, the poor woman is carried off. I don’t envy the nightmare she’ll wake up to. Sounds come at me from a great distance, dim and hard to decipher. I feel as if I’m trying to push through a heavy stream, the water roaring in my ears. And it’s slow going. In the chaos afterward, in the mess of people leaving, faces pale and withdrawn, Chaska finds me, eyes red-rimmed. “His name was Urpi—fifteen years old.”
“This is my fault,” I whisper. “I should have consulted the stars more, searched harder this afternoon.”
But Chaska shakes her head. “It’s no one’s fault. Come—Sonco wishes to speak to us in private.”
We follow the crowd down several levels until we reach the room where Sonco conducts the affairs of the city. Several elders are already sitting on mats, while Sonco is in quiet conversation with his brother. Manuel sits with a few guards. At my entrance, his eyes lift to meet mine.
Then he quickly looks away.
My heart batters against my ribs, a relentless assault. Chaska motions for me to sit next to her along the wall. I lean my back against the cool stone. I cross my legs, and press close to the seer. She doesn’t seem to mind. Everyone converses in hushed tones until Sonco clears his throat and we all look to him. For guidance, for answers, for comfort.
He speaks in a halting, disbelieving voice. “Earlier I learned that a flower had appeared in Paititi—a flower that’s responsible for killing parts of the jungle. It infected Urpi and turned him into … into a monster. The man we’ve known since birth was lost to us. I grieve for his family.”
Written in Starlight Page 24
