by Roni Adams
God's will. She couldn't help but fight against it. That was what was exhausting her; she didn't have enough experience under her belt to learn how to let it not get to her. Or was everything else getting to her?
When Cord had told her that Tyler was coming home for Christmas, she'd convinced herself that she was ready and that seeing him again would be difficult, but not painful. But one look at him at the LoneStar, one dance with him and she was a mess.
Rage brewed inside at what he'd done to her. If he hadn't wanted her anymore, the very least he could have done was tell her face to face. Instead, he'd run off before she even knew he was gone, and with no way for anyone to find him. By the time Cord tracked him down and knew where he was, Beth had told everyone she didn't want to know. Tyler's name wasn't even mentioned in conversations with her.
What would life be like right now if she and Tyler had hit the road like they'd always planned? Where would they have landed? Would they still be traveling? Would they have come back? Probably to visit, but the plan had been to live anywhere but here.
Didn't matter anyway. It'd been childish. Didn't he know that? Hitting the open road, going wherever they wanted, it was a nice fantasy but it wasn't reality. When Sara and Buck got married, Beth realized that what she really wanted out of life was the same thing. A man who was stable and dependable and loved her so much he'd never imagine life without her. A man like Cole Pritchard.
She scoffed at herself. The problem with that fantasy was as much as she suspected Cole might love her, she didn't love Cole. There was no chemistry. Was it so wrong to want that physical attraction, that all consuming lust that she once shared with Tyler?
And where did all that get you?
True. Maybe the more mature thing to do was to think with her head and not her hormones or even her heart. She and Tyler had been kids. They'd become lovers way too early and built their relationship on how good that was.
She shifted on the truck seat. They'd certainly spent a lot of time making out. Was that all there was to what they had, then? Hot teenage lust? They'd explored and learned everything they knew from each other, and it had been amazing. Barely a day went by that they didn't find a way to sneak off and fool around, thinking no one knew what they were up to. Thank goodness they'd always been careful—neither wanted an unplanned pregnancy to mess up their plans.
Yet the few times she and Cole had kissed, it'd left her cold. Unfortunately, her hormones had come to life the second Tyler danced with her. All the feelings she thought were dead and buried sprang up and screamed for attention.
Beth sat up straighter as she drove through the Double B arches. Just because he had the power to make her body respond, didn't mean she had to let him know. He'd be gone after New Year's, and life could go back to the way it was. Then maybe she would ignore her body and heart this time and use her head; maybe focus on Cole and what they might possibly have together. Maybe.
* * * *
Tyler took a long swallow of his after dinner drink and watched the flames flicker in the fireplace. December in Texas wasn't really a time when a fire was needed, but Flo and Susan had both insisted it would be ‘cozy’ to have one tonight. Not for the first time, he wondered where Beth was but didn't want to ask anyone.
When headlights swept across the large picture window, he watched Cord's head turn in that direction.
"That must be Beth and Cole.” His brother pushed away from the fireplace and freshened his drink from the small set in bar.
Tyler's gut clenched at the thought of her out with Pritchard. Where had they gone? Out to a quiet intimate dinner? Over to the other man's house for an even more intimate evening?
Visions of Beth naked in his arms, blue eyes full of passion and desire flashed through his memory. They'd learned to be lovers together—the thought of her doing all that they had done with Cole was enough to make him insane. He counted off the seconds, wondering what was going on in the car. Why hadn't she come inside? He hoped she wasn't bringing Cole in with her. He couldn't stomach seeing them together again.
The front door opened and closed. Seconds later, Beth walked through the double doors that led to the family room. She paused in the doorway and Tyler glanced past her. No Cole. Good. His gaze returned to her and slid hungrily down her body. The long, black velvet skirt floated at mid calf, and he recognized the bright red blouse. He'd given it to her one Christmas—and peeled it from her body before that night was over. His large hands had fumbled with the tiny diamond buttons until he finally lifted it from the hem and yanked it over her head. She'd laughed at his impatience, and then reached for his zipper.
Tyler swallowed hard as his groin sprang to life with the memory.
"Stay right there.” Teddy jumped up and walked towards Beth. “Honey, it's bad luck to stand under mistletoe and not get kissed. I can't let that happen to a nice girl like you."
Beth put her hands out as if to ward him off, but ever the performer, Teddy swept her into his arms, bent her over backward until she squealed and clutched at his shoulders for balance.
"Brace yourself,” he teased, and planted a very noisy kiss on her lips, twisting his face back and forth as the rest of them laughed.
When he swung her back on her feet and Beth's eyes sparkled with laughter, Tyler's heart jerked. He used to be able to put that type of fun in her eyes. He wanted to punch his brother in the head for being able to do what he no longer could.
Beth met his gaze. Her neck reflexed in a gulp and she looked scared to death that he was going to do the same thing Teddy had just done.
Not a bad idea.
Purposely, he set his drink on the ledge of the fireplace and crossed the room. Her narrowed gaze warned him off, but he ignored her to lean down. He intended to only brush his mouth against her cheek and walk away, but once he was next to her, and saw the absolute dread in her eyes, he couldn't’ stop himself. She shook her head and he waited for her to turn and walk away from him, but she didn't.
He reached out and tucked one loose strand of hair behind her ear and then framed her face in his palms. Even as he bent over, he waited for her to push him away. She didn't. Her breath hitched and he smelled the peppermint coming from her breath, her blue eyes wide and wary.
"Merry Christmas, Angel,” he whispered and pressed his lips to hers.
He'd planned on it being a quick, chaste, closed-mouth kiss. But, like a long extinguished flame that suddenly burst back to life, the minute his mouth touched hers, something ignited. His head spun and he teased the seam of her lips with his tongue. Her hands settled at his waist but instead of pushing him away as he dreaded, she kissed him back.
Tyler forgot about everyone else in the room when her fingers gripped the waistband of his jeans and she tipped her head as he deepened the embrace. He pulled her closer, wrapped her in his arms. She clung to him and his body roared to life, his groin springing up and pressing into her. She shifted closer.
"Beth you left your purse in the ca..."
It took a second before Cole's voice registered with either of them.
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Chapter Three
Beth jerked out of Tyler's arms and stumbled in her haste to get out of the embrace. What am I doing?
Trying to force clear thoughts from the fog of desire, she darted a glance first at Tyler and then to Cole. His gaze was hurt and filled with disappointment. He didn't say anything, simply dropped her purse on the small table and walked back out the door.
She raced after him, not bothering to look back at Tyler.
"Cole! Wait, Cole!” She skidded on the porch in her heels as she ran from the door to the top of the front steps.
Cole stopped halfway down and turned to look up. He slammed his hands in his pockets and glared. “I thought you were smarter than that."
"It was just a mistletoe kiss. It meant nothing.” Even as she said the words, she knew they weren't true.
Cole's brown eyes flared and the red in his face de
epened. “Who are you trying to kid?” He walked back up the steps. “Me ... or you?"
Guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. He was right. The minute Tyler kissed her, she'd been lost.
Cole's eyes flared with hurt and anger, and she didn't know what to say. They'd had such a nice dinner, such a nice evening, and now it was ending like this. She held his gaze. “I'm sorry."
Cole let his breath out on a long sigh and it fogged the air between them. He tucked his finger under her chin and lifted her face, his eyes tender and understanding. “You don't owe me any apologies. But you've come so far. I'd hate to see him hurt you again. You went through hell and—"
"It's not your business, Pritchard."
Behind her, Tyler's voice was edged with anger. The screen door banged against the house.
Beth turned. What the hell is he doing? Anger rose and she opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Cole gently set her aside. He walked past her towards Tyler on the porch. Fear trickled up her spine as the two angry men faced off.
Cord and Teddy stepped onto the porch but didn't say a word.
"She's not some toy you can pick up and play with whenever you feel like it,” Cole spat out.
The two men were almost nose to nose and reminded her of two dogs fighting over a bone. It infuriated her that she was the bone.
She turned to Tyler. “Get out of here. This has nothing to do with you. Go back in the house."
He lifted his chin and shoved his hands in his pockets.
Beth swallowed hard, recognizing his attempt to keep his temper in check. She shoved at his shoulder pushing him towards the door. “Go away, Ty."
Instead, he stepped closer to Cole. “Go in the house, Beth,” Tyler commanded without looking at her.
"Oh no. You are going in the house because this has absolutely nothing to do with you!” She stepped in between the two men and shoved Tyler hard in the chest.
He frowned, but stepped back one pace, all the while glaring at Cole over her head. She planted both hands on his rock hard chest and shoved until he took another step back.
Cole flung his arms in the air and shook his head. He glared at Tyler. “You know what you're problem is? You don't want her, but you don't want anyone else to have her either. You left. That was your decision."
Cole pointed his finger at the other man and Beth cringed as Tyler strained against her hands. His muscles bunched under her palm and she shoved once more against him to keep him from lunging forward. “Please stop,” she begged.
For a few seconds he continued to glare at Cole, before he met her gaze. His eyes softened, then, miraculously, he turned around and walked into the house.
Beth took a deep breath and didn't bother to turn around when she heard Cole walk back down the porch steps. Teddy walked past her and called his friend's name.
Cord stepped over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. “I was actually going to let Cole take a round out of him; he deserves nothing less."
Beth put her hands to her face and blinked back the tears. “I can't wait for him to leave again."
He patted her shoulder and walked away. Beth yanked open the front door and headed for the front stairs. Tyler walked out of the family room with his hat in his hand just as her foot landed on the first step.
"Beth?"
She went up another stair, ignoring her name on his lips again, and tried hard to forget all the feelings the kiss from a few minutes ago had stirred inside her.
"We need to talk."
"No, we really don't.” She went up another step.
"Why aren't you living in the house?"
Anger flared to life as hot as her lust for him. Spinning around, she almost lost her balance in the long skirt and heels. “Why the hell would I live there?” she spat. Warmth flooded her face and she wanted nothing more than to hurt him the way he'd hurt her. Only problem was, there was no way to do that.
Tyler's expression was unreadable. “I built it so you could stay right there with your clinic and have everything in one place."
"No, you threw me away. Frankly, there isn't anything I want that reminds me of you. You walked away as if I meant nothing to you, as if the years we'd spent together were nothing."
He ran a hand around the back of his neck and looked away.
"Don't worry, Tyler, you did us both a favor when you left. You forced me to grow up and realize that what we shared was nothing more than kid stuff, the kind that can never last through the ups and downs of marriage. For that, people need to be mature. Neither of us fit that bill at the time. Fortunately, I know the difference between lust and love now."
"With Cole?"
She nodded. “Yes, and fortunately your little scene tonight won't be enough to run him off. Cole knew having you come home was going to be a challenge.” She swallowed hard and stared him in the eye. “Frankly, I'm glad you came home. I was able to lay the ghosts to rest and now know I've moved on."
"Maybe you should test that theory."
She frowned. “What are you talking about?"
He climbed the stairs in two long strides, reached a hand out and stroked her cheek. She yanked away from his touch.
"That kiss sure didn't feel like any ghosts were laid to rest.” His eyes smiled with mischief. “Maybe we should try it once more, just to be sure."
Before she could blink, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her up against him. In heels, she was off balance on the step and grabbed his upper arm to keep from falling backward. His muscles contracted under her hand and, in a flash, all the memories of being held in his strong arms came pouring back. Involuntarily, she tipped her head up.
"No, thank you.” Her tongue wet her suddenly dry lips as he ignored her and lowered his head.
"Are you afraid of what you'll find out?"
"I'm not afraid of you, Ty. Nothing you do now will ever compare to how much you hurt me that morning I found out you were gone."
He froze. “I would do anything to change that.” He searched her face. “I was hurt too. You don't know how hard that was for me."
She blinked her eyes and glared. “Hard for you?” She snorted in disbelief and tried to pull away. “Whatever. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk to you. I just want you to leave me alone until you go back to Abilene or wherever the road takes you these days.” Beth jerked once more, slipped from his hands and started back up the stairs.
"I'm not going back, Beth. I'm home to stay."
She whirled, her jaw dropped open. “What? Why? You couldn't wait to get the hell out of here and now, what? You've had your adventure all by yourself and you're back? Did you expect that I'd just say welcome home, cowboy, and open my arms?"
"I don't expect that at all."
"Good. Don't. Because we'll have snow on Christmas morning before that ever happens.” She ran up the stairs before the tears fell.
Tyler shoved his hat on his head and walked out the front door, not sure if he needed to crawl into a bottle of whiskey for the night or his bed.
"Leave her alone, Tyler,” Teddy warned the minute he walked through the front door. This brother was usually the most easy going of all the family, and Tyler was shocked at the rage in his eyes.
"I got it.” Tyler headed towards the porch stairs.
"What happened to you? You weren't raised to treat women like that."
Tyler spun around, his eyes wide. “Me? Of all people, you're lecturing me on how to treat women."
Teddy faced him from across the hall. “Yeah, I am. Who knows better how to leave a woman, but leave them in one piece, maybe even a little happier for the experience? You don't just walk away."
"What's your longest relationship been? Two days, a week maybe, tops. You don't know what you're talking about."
Teddy glared. “Sure, I've had a lot of women and most couldn't hold a candle to Beth. But I still treated them right. I never left without saying goodbye and I never left her wondering if I was coming back or n
ot.” His brother pushed a finger into his chest. “You're an ass and I'm telling you to stay away from her."
Tyler pushed the finger away and raised one eyebrow. “You're awfully worked up over this. Maybe you're thinking you'd like Beth for yourself. Is that it?"
"You little son of a..."
"That's enough!” Cord came through the front door.
Tyler held his brother's glare.
"Beth's as close to a kid sister as we have, and I oughta pound the living stuffing out of you for what you did to her,” Teddy continued.
Tyler was tired of everyone rubbing his nose in his mistake. He knew what he did was wrong and if he could change it, he would. Two years ago, he was a different man than he was today. He had Chase Boyd and his crew to thank for that—not his brothers.
Still, this was his family and he needed to make his peace with them—angry or not, wasn't that part of the reason he came home?
"I would never have left if I didn't do it that way. I couldn't handle a big emotional scene. It was the only way to do it at the time.” He held up a hand to ward off Teddy's angry expression. “I'm not saying it was right."
"Yeah, well, instead of ripping into Cole, you should be on your knees thanking him for saving her life,” Cord suggested.
"Cole was right,” Teddy added. “You are like a kid who doesn't want anyone else playing with his toys."
"How was I supposed to know that's what was going to happen,” Tyler said in his own defense. “Do you honestly think I'd have left if I thought that was going to happen?"
But if he hadn't have left, he'd be standing here today still wondering what it would be like to be out on his own. He'd wanted—no, needed—to know if he could make it on his own name and not as part of a package deal called The Double B. And not just for him.
