'If you want to borrow them, you could just ask.'
'Funny.' He says and jumps back onto the bed. 'I assure you I'm all man.'
'Jeez. Again?'
'Again.'
CHAPTER FIVE - L TO R
L is for Lingerie
Jesus Christ. I'm knackered. My cock's sore and I've probably put my back out. But it was all I could think to do when she saw me sitting there with her underwear in my lap. It's just that it came to me while she was coming (I know. My mind is screwed as well as my body). Lingerie. She'll need lovely, sexy, bridal lingerie. So that I can peel it off her hot body on our wedding night. I get to choose it. Oh yeah. The trouble was in getting her distracted with sex. I forgot the sizes. I've just had to have a root around her underwear drawer. I swear there's some stuff in here I haven't seen her in yet. I'll just move these few bits to the top to give her a hint.
I've been bollocked for looking through her drawers. She says she might keep some private stuff in there. I said she doesn't, because I'd have seen it. That earned me the look. I don't like the look. It's unnerving. I promised to stop looking at her undies. I'm declared a pervert. I think it's supposed to be an insult.
We sit down to our evening dinner. I unroll my napkin, noting as I unfurl that it's not a usual rectangle.
Holy fucking shit.
It's the vest.
The vest.
Gabe's Babe written across the chest. The tiny baby vest.
'Are you -?' Fuck me I'm speechless.
'Yes. We're pregnant.'
This is so different to the first time around. It's unspoken but I know we are both thinking about the circumstances of the first pregnancy. I must not fuck this up.
'I'm so fucking happy Stel.'
She bursts into noisy, happy sobs.
I go over to her and wrap her in my arms. 'I told you I wanted more kids. Barefoot and pregnant. That's how I like you.'
We'd been letting nature take its course, so this time is not a happy accident, but a kind of planned event. There'll be an extra guest at our wedding.
We spend the evening with Athena, looking at her and sharing secret smiles with each other.
Stella's gone out with Athena. I am home alone. Time to look at some of that lingerie. Victoria's secret here we go. I press on Bridal.
Oh my Lord. Miranda Kerr dressed in lingerie. Excuse me a moment.
I'm proud of my manhood. It's made two babies and I can get hard so fast. I know this because I've now had to jerk off twice whilst looking at the lingerie. The first time over Miranda wearing it and the second imagining Stella dressed in the outfits. I'd concentrate but the blood has left my brain.
I order a white hoodie with Bride stamped on the back, with matching pants. The pants have Bride stamped across the ass. She'll look cute fetching my breakfast in that. OMG stand back women with your handbags, I'm joking.
Then I add a baby doll with a georgette halter to the basket. Basically georgette appears to stand for wraps the tits up like a Christmas present. Definitely having one of those. I can feel my balls swell when I spot the garter slip, a see-through creation with a bra and order the stockings to go with it. I arrange for delivery as I wouldn't dare walk around the store. I'd probably pick up coathangers on my dick as I walked around and get done for shoplifting.
By the afternoon, I'm missing my household and bored of jerking off. I decide to go back to Neiman Marcus and purchase the Herve Leger dress. I love the VB one and that's definitely the one for the ceremony, but the bandage dress. I'd like her to wrap herself in it for me later. She's going to have a lot of costume changes that evening.
I get a young Sales Assistant and she must be on commission because she can't leave me alone. She also keeps flicking her hair.
'I've never come across a male wedding planner before.'
'I'm not a planner. I'm the groom.'
She stands up taller against her counter. 'Oh. When are you getting married?'
'Christmas Eve.'
'Have you been together long?'
'Yeah. Couple of years. We've got a daughter. Do you want to see her picture?'
She sighs, 'No, it's okay. How come you're buying the dress, not her?'
'This is dress two. I've bought her the Victoria Beckham dress for the ceremony. I'm organising the wedding.'
'You're organising it?' She fans herself.
'Yeah.' I seriously didn't think I'd be hit on in the bridal department. I'm not naive, but surely there are rules against flirting with the grooms?
'Do you have a brother?'
'Yeah Christopher. You'd get on well.'
She looks at me strangely.
Sighing again she asks me if I've considered lingerie. If she shows me her bra I'm out of here.
'Yeah. I have bought so many outfits for that evening.'
'No. I don't mean that. I mean for under the dress.'
'Well, she can put one of the lacy numbers on can't she?'
'No.' She purses her lips and just like that she switches from call girl to mall girl. 'You'll need something seamless. Otherwise the lumps and bumps of the lace will show up through the dress.'
'Oh. Can you show me what you mean?'
She goes over to a display case and returns handing me a seamless bustier. It feels lovely under my fingers. All smooth like skin. I move it in front of my jeans as I yet again have a hard on.
'Also what about the morning after the wedding? Have you got her a chemise and wrap?'
'No I've got her a hoodie and some pants that say Bride on the ass.'
She purses her lips again. I think I'm going downhill in her estimations.
'Could you show me the chemises?'
Ten minutes later I'm armed with a seamless bustier, a silk chemise and a matching wrap. How did that happen? I came in for a fucking bandage dress but I'm the one feeling wound up.
The assistant takes another look around her Department. 'What about some slippers to go with it?'
'Hell no.' My cock just went limp. Slippers?
'You don't want your bride getting cold feet do you? You get me? Cold feet.' She laughs.
'If her feet get cold I'll suck her toes one by one to warm them up.'
She shuts up.
I pay for the items and begin to walk towards the exit. I pass yet another aisle of wedding stuff. Honestly it's like some kind of virus.
Low rise thong and matching garter. In silver. Hell yes. I head back to the counter.
I finally leave the store after passing Stella's favourite part of a shop. The shoes. That's one thing I don't need to buy. She has like a thousand pairs. Her and her best friend are obsessed and don't exactly help each other to resist. Half of their catch up conversations are about newly purchased shoes. Yawn. It's just something you stick your feet in to take you from A to B. Anyway, I'm saving money because she can wear a pair of shoes she already owns. She can leave them on that night as well, if you catch my drift. Christ there's no wonder she's pregnant again. I'm like Robocock.
M is for Mother
I call in to see my Mom. She is her usual pulled-together self. I don't think I've ever seen a hair out of place on my mother. Even when we were kids. I wish for once she would just relax and not bother about appearances. Then maybe the wedding wouldn't have had to be at The Plaza.
'I saw Christopher yesterday. He says you had a great time testing out cars.' The look she gives me is loaded with are my sons ever going to grow up?
'Yeah. The wedding cars are sorted.' Then I think, Oh they aren't. I have one for Stella and the bridesmaids and one for myself, Chris and Sam. I have nothing for Mother. She'll have to come with us.
'So how will I be travelling there?'
'A car will be picking you up on route.'
'Oh. Good.'
'Mom. When you booked The Plaza, did they ask you about table settings and meals?'
'Of course.'
'What did you say?'
'Well I just picked out what I thought would be nice,
seeing as Stella told me that she was okay whatever.'
'Right.' Great I don't need to sort anything with The Plaza at all.
'So The Plaza is completely sorted?' I double check.
'Yes. I told you. They were fine about it all. You can get on with whatever you want to do.'
'Thanks Mom.'
'It's no problem. By the way I think asking Samuel to give away Stella was a wonderful gesture. He is so excited.'
'Stella will love it. We don't even know if Fran and Mitch will make the wedding. They're travelling around and difficult to get hold of. They've just told Stella they'll try.'
'That poor girl. Her parents are strange.'
'Yes, well that's why we moved to be near yourself. The only decent parent we have between us.'
My mother puts her hand on top of mine. 'I'm so pleased you did. I can't begin to tell you the happiness I get from being near my grandaughter.'
'And there I thought you were going to say me.'
She laughs. My Mother should laugh more. It gives a twinkle to her eyes and takes years off her.
'You aren't bad either.'
'Mother?' I say softly. 'Have you ever met anyone else?'
She huffs in a dismissive manner. 'No. I've only ever had the odd date. I just can't get past that. Not after your father. I felt I needed to be there for my children. To protect you. I'm not sure Arnie would have allowed me to get serious with anybody. He wanted to control everything.'
'Well, he's not around anymore Mom. Plus Chris and I are all grown up.'
'You sure about that, James Bond?' Her mouth twitches.
I smile.
'Well, as much as men ever grow up. So it's time now Mom. Give yourself a chance at happiness.'
'I'll think about it,' she says. 'But I'm already happy, don't doubt that. Oh another thing,' she says, changing the subject. 'Are we having a Rehearsal dinner, the night before the wedding?'
'What? I've not read anything about a rehearsal dinner.'
'Usually the day before you have a little practice and then everyone meets for a nice dinner. I tell you what. I'll throw one here. You can stand in your positions and run through everything and then we'll all have a lovely get-together.'
'Are you sure?'
'Yes, I'd love to. Especially with handing over the reigns of the wedding to you. That can be part of my gift to the Newlyweds.'
'Thanks Mom.' I stand up to leave.
'Now what about a Bridal Shower? Have you organised that?'
I sigh deeply and ask for a piece of paper and a pen. 'I'm guessing this isn't Stella's wash before the wedding?'
N is for Nausea
Great.
Stella is sick.
Not poorly sick.
Pregnancy sick.
She wasn't too bad with Athena, but with this one, it's never-ending. It's not morning sickness. It's all day sickness. The most bizarre thing I witness is that she'll say she's hungry one second, vomit the next and then say she's hungry again. It's like living with an alien.
It's also caused havoc with the wedding plans.
After saying she didn't want anyone to know until the wedding, she blabbed to Ronnie didn't she? Apparently her best friend doesn't count.
Cue a frantic email. Stella can't go in the spa. She won't be able to get merry either. Ronnie advises me to call the spa and reduce it to treatments only. Hopefully a few mouthfuls of champagne will be okay. She advises we cancel the evening party as Stella might not feel like eating or staying awake. She says everyone will enjoy what she has planned and that and the spa will be enough.
I'm getting wedding nausea now. I'm completely sick of it.
O is for On a Roll
We get married in four days time. Fucking hell. It's time to bring everything together. Chris carries in our suits from the wedding hire place he found. I get him to hang them over the wardrobe door in the spare room. They're all wrapped in plastic suit covers. Next he brings in Stella's wedding dress. The VB one. This spare room has now become wedding central. Stella is under strict instructions not to come anywhere near it.
I run through the order of events in my mind.
'Chris?'
'Yeah?'
'I'm not supposed to see the Bride on the wedding day am I? The suits need to go back to yours.'
'What the hell? Jeez man, I just dragged them all up here. I hope everything else is better organised. Where's the car picking us up from?'
'I said here. I need to change it. I tell you what. I'll ask Mom if we can get ready at hers. Then we can all travel from there.'
'So the suits will need to be at Mothers?'
'Oh. Yeah.'
'Make your mind up,' he mumbles.
'Right. So we'll be at Mothers. That works out well because we'll be there for the rehearsal dinner anyway. So I'll ask Mike if Sam can stay the night. Then there's Stella. I'll need to make sure I unlock the door to the spare room so she can get to her dress.
My eyes start darting around the room as I think.
'Also I'll need to have the rings with me.'
'I'm the best man. You need to give those to me for safekeeping.'
'Right. I'm going to do that now.' I hand the rings to Chris and he shoves them in his jacket pocket.'Don't lose them.'
'Hey. I know what I'm doing bro. You need to concentrate on yourself.'
'Ronnie can stay over with Stella. Oh. Sam needs to be with Stella. He's giving her away. He needs to be in her car. Oh shit. Okay. Sam can travel back to Stella's after the rehearsal. But then that will give away the secret. Oh he can just meet her at The Plaza. It'll have to do.'
'I think you need to sit down and pause for breath bro. You're losing it.'
I can feel a headache coming on again.
'We done here bro? I've other things to do.'
'Things. Is that what you call your women now.'
He smirks. 'Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow night for a few beers while the shower takes place okay?'
'I'll need one.'
Chris knows what I'm hinting at. 'What time is she coming? I need to meet this woman.'
'You'll see her at the rehearsal dinner. Believe me you'll not miss her.' Ronnie is due to arrive later this evening. 'I love that girl but boy does she tire me out.'
'Sounds just my sort of girl,' adds Chris.
'No. No way on earth. Anyway she's married.' Then I realise that won't bother him.
I warn him. 'You and the bridesmaid. Not happening Dude.'
'I was just thinking a quick bang couldn't hurt. Before the husband arrives of course.' He's laughing at me now. The bastard is just winding me up and I'm too stressed to find the humour.
'I'll just say this. She's Stella's best mate. You've met Stella haven't you?'
Chris unconsciously covers his balls with his hands.
P is for Photographer
I don't have a photographer!
I've totally fucked up.
No-one is available Christmas Eve. Not even the ones with really terrible reviews online.
I've been out and purchased disposables and told Chris and Mom to take plenty of pictures with their cameras.
I won't dwell on the look my mother gave me. Suffice to say the temperatures are plummeting outside but my Mom went Artic.
Q is for Quickie
Ronnie has arrived. She won't tell myself or Stella what her Hen do plan is. Her conversation is full of the subjects of gardening and dogs, rather than sex and shoes. Stella and myself keep exchanging stunned glances.
The main change however is her appearance. Gone is the over the top styled hair that usually hangs down her back and the face full of make up. She has a chin length bob and her face has a healthy glow, as if she's been in the sun. Maybe it's the gardening? Maybe it's love?
'So I know I'm a bloke Ronnie. But I have to ask. The hair? Where is it?'
'It got so famous it got its own show and left me.' She cackles.
The old Ronnie hasn't left after all. I find myself strange
ly pleased.
I stare at her until she gives in.
'It's the gardening. It doesn't really lend itself to long hair. This is easier to manage. Also it doesn't get in the way now when I'm giving a blow job.'
Stella shakes her head.
I take the dress bags and escape.
Tonight is wedding shower time. Ronnie looks up at both of us.'If you'll excuse me. I need to get things ready for the shower. In other words, sod off out of this lounge so I can prepare. Is it okay for me to stick pins in the walls?'
Stella pats Ronnie's arm. 'You do what you like. Myself and Gabe will be in our room.'
'Don't be too noisy,' says Ronnie, with a wink.
Ooh a quickie! I let my fiancee drag me out of the room. There are some advantages to my pregnant woman and her randiness is one of them.
Later...
Now there is a mental image that will haunt me for a long time. It's a good job I love her. I have no words. She'll have to tell you what happened. I'm off to my brothers for a good stiff drink. It's probably the only thing that's going to be stiff for a long, long time.
R is for Rehearsal
We are getting married tomorrow. Oh my fucking God. I don't know what sort of wreck I'll be come the morning but right now I feel like I can't think straight. I need a drink. At this rate I'll be spending the time after the wedding at AA Meetings.
It's time to go to my Mother's for the rehearsal dinner. I have just hours left as a single man.
What will married sex be like? We're going to have two children. Will I ever have sex again? I'm freaking out.
'Gabe, honey? Are you alright? You look a bit pale?'
'Ronnie. I can't. I can't breathe.'
Ronnie's mouth widens.'Oh my God. The cool, suave, Gabe Gregory is having a panic attack.' She steers me to the sofa and stares in my eyes reminding me how to breathe. 'Come on. Deep breaths. In. Out.'
'In. Out. Might not happen ever again Ronnie.' I gasp.
The Alphabet Wedding (The Alpha Series) Page 4
