by Pati Nagle
“Is it getting any easier?” I asked, lowering my voice.
He closed his eyes. “Not really. I dislike living this way, but I have no choice.”
I swallowed. “Do you miss the sun?”
“I miss a lot of things,” he said, looking at me.
My stomach flipped over. Did he mean me, or just things in general? He looked so sad and lonely. I wanted to make him feel better but I didn’t know how, and I didn’t want to offend him.
He looked toward the house and I followed his gaze. Madóran had come back out, alone, and gone over to where Caeran and Len were talking with Faranin and Bironan. Lomen started playing the flute again.
“Oh!” I said, “I have a present for Len and Caeran—will you come in with me while I get it?”
Savhoran frowned. “Mirali is inside.”
“I think they left. Anyway, you’re not going to bite her, right? Come and keep me company?”
He looked reluctant, but he followed me across the circle and into the house. The living room was empty. We went on through the nook into the kitchen, where the turkey that had been in the oven was now sitting on the counter smelling even more wonderful.
“Have you talked to anyone? Tonight I mean.”
“Only you.”
I opened the fridge. “Well, you should say hi at least. I bet they’ll make you welcome.”
“If they do, it will be out of politeness. I am a danger to them now.”
I looked up at him, arms full of lettuce. “I thought it wasn’t that contagious? Madóran said it took intimate contact—”
“That is what we believe, but we have no proof. Many prefer to be cautious.”
I unearthed the Gruet and stuffed the lettuce back in the bin. The smell of the turkey was making my empty stomach grumble. I carried the wine out to the living room, then stopped and turned to Savhoran.
“Len and Madóran are working on a cure, she told me.”
“Yes, but it will take a while. I am not sure that I want to wait.”
That scared me more than anything he’d said. “You’re not alone,” I said, too sharply.
He gave me another sad smile. “Thank you.”
I couldn’t stand it any more. I put the champagne on the coffee table and got in his face.
“Don’t you quit on me,” I said.
He looked startled. I threw my arms around his neck.
“Don’t give up,” I said into his shirt.
For a minute he didn’t move, then he slowly put his arms around me. I had my face buried in his shirt and he smelled fantastic. My whole body was tingling. When he kissed my hair—so lightly—it sent a shock through me and I raised my head to look at him.
He stared back at me. The sadness had been chased away by a spark of something else—something stronger.
Yes. Oh, yes.
He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, then the corner of my mouth. Feather kisses; they drove me crazy. Finally he kissed my lips, and I kissed back with all the bottled-up feelings I’d had for weeks. I knew it was all right when his arms tightened around me.
“Guys! Get a room!”
We jumped apart just like in the movies, and I shot Len an angry look. She smiled as if she hadn’t noticed.
“Hi, Savhoran! Good to see you, I’m glad you could come.”
“Th-thank you.”
He looked confused. I wanted to hug him again and soothe the worry away.
“Man, we need to set up the feast,” Len said. “Will you help me?”
“Uh, sure.” I looked at Savhoran.
“I should not be near the food,” he said.
Len went on into the kitchen. I caught Savhoran’s hands. “Don’t leave.”
“I’m going to find Madóran. I have a question for him.”
“Savhoran—”
He kissed my forehead again. I won’t leave without saying goodbye.
I gasped, because suddenly I could feel him—not his body but his soul, I guess—and it felt wonderful!
He smiled and squeezed my hands before he let go. The sense of him faded at once, much to my regret. I watched him out of sight, then followed Len into the kitchen, stunned. She had put the turkey on a platter and was arranging roasted potatoes and carrots around it.
“Unwrap those casseroles, will you?” she said.
I stared at her. “He just talked to me without talking!”
She glanced up. “Oh. Cool, huh?”
“Does Caeran do that? Is that what you guys are doing when you make moony eyes at each other?”
“Heh. Yeah. You going to help or not?”
I unwrapped the casseroles: stuffing in one, noodles in a creamy sauce in the other. “How come Caeran never talks to me like that?”
“Well, it’s kind of intimate, you know.”
Yeah, I knew. I wanted to know some more.
“Do they talk to each other that way?”
She paused and frowned. “I don’t think so. No, if they could do that then Caeran wouldn’t need a cell phone. Could you get out the salad?”
I got the gigantic salad bowl from the fridge. We put all the food out on the table in the nook, along with bread, cheese, cranberry sauce, gravy, a couple more side dishes and a huge bowl of fruit. It looked like enough to feed a couple dozen people, and we were down to seven, not counting Savhoran.
I followed Len out back and while she was summoning people to the feast I looked for Savhoran. He was over by the tree again, sitting with his back against it. I sat next to him and watched the others go in.
“Go and eat. You are hungry.”
I looked at him, scared and excited at once. “Are you?”
He frowned. “No.”
“Because if you are—”
“No! Do not say that—do not think it!”
“I would do that for you.”
He gazed at me, sadness back in his eyes. “I would rather die than hurt you.”
I swallowed, hoping I hadn’t offended him. Maybe he heard that thought, because he smiled and touched my cheek.
“Go and eat,” he whispered. “I will be here.”
I did, because I was starving. I wanted to grab some food and bring it out to where Savhoran was sitting but I thought that might make him uncomfortable, so I cut a couple of slices of fresh bread and made an impromptu sandwich with some turkey, stuffing and cranberry, and stood in the corner of the living room scarfing it down.
The family was sitting on the floor and the furniture with their plates. Caeran had opened the champagne and shared it around. I shook my head when he offered me some. I wanted to keep my head clear so I wouldn’t do anything stupid.
They were talking about some other place they had been, Europe maybe. Len had told me that’s where they came from before they got to Albuquerque. Lomen was telling a silly story about tricking humans who were trying to track them down.
I felt out of place. They could say I was part of the clan all they wanted, but I still didn’t feel welcome. Maybe they didn’t like my interest in Savhoran. Or maybe they were uncomfortable having him at the party.
I swallowed the last bite of my sandwich, went in the kitchen and grabbed a soda, and went back outside. The candles were still glowing in the lanterns, filling the yard with soft light. The empty circle with the colored lanterns on four poles looked like some formal space now. I walked around it, not wanting to break whatever sacred energy filled it.
Savhoran smiled up at me as I sat beside him again. I sipped my soda, trying to think of something to say. The things that were most on my mind would be awkward to talk about. I settled for conventionality.
“How long have you been in Albuquerque?”
He hesitated. “Two weeks.”
“Oh.”
Two weeks and he hadn’t contacted me. Maybe he wasn’t so sure he wanted to see me.
He took the soda out of my hand and put it on the ground, then took me by the shoulders and kissed me.
I did want to see you. I tried
to avoid it because I do not want to harm you.
And there it was again, all his pain and sadness. I clung to him.
You won’t harm me.
He wrapped his arms around me. I will try not to.
You’ve been going out with them, haven’t you? Hunting the alben?
Yes.
I took a sharp breath, because his anger had flared with that answer. He wanted vengeance, and the alben was his target even though she wasn’t the one who had infected him.
We have a custom—it is something like your “eye for an eye.” I will not rest until she is dead.
Nothing I could say to that.
I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was tired of being scared of the alben, tired of being lonely. It felt so good just to be held.
I woke up in my bed, alone. Sat up trying to remember my dreams, figure out whether they actually were dreams. I reached for my water glass and that’s when I saw it.
A ring, just a plain band of metal, looked like gold. It was lying on top of a folded piece of paper on my nightstand. I held the ring in my hand while I read the note.
Amanda -
This ring was my eldermother’s. It is very old. I give it to you now as a pledge of my affection and friendship. I do not have much to offer, but what I have is yours.
I will visit again soon.
Savhoran
I stared at the ring, wondering if he knew what a gift like that traditionally meant to humans. He had to, didn’t he? Unless he’d been living in a cave all his life…
I slid the ring onto my finger, feeling goosebumps rise on my forearms.
It was gorgeous. It fit perfectly. I took it off and rummaged in my dresser for a chain to put it on. Too confused about what it meant; I’d wear it around my neck for now.
If an eldermother was like a grandmother, then that ring must be really freaking old. I fastened the chain and slid the ring into my shirt, trying not to wonder about its value.
The clock said I had half an hour to get dressed and get ready for work. No problem, I was already dressed. Disgusted with myself, I changed and went to the kitchen looking for breakfast.
The three resident cousins were in the living room talking. Len and Caeran were drinking tea and eating scones. Caeran was almost as good a baker as Madóran, and the kitchen smelled heavenly. I helped myself to a scone and made myself a cup of instant coffee.
“Savhoran asked me to tell you he said goodbye,” Caeran said.
“Thanks.” I joined them at the table, ignoring the curious look Len gave me.
“He also asked for your cell phone number. I assumed you wouldn’t mind my giving it to him.”
“No, no. Thanks. He has a phone? Can I have the number?”
“Yes.”
He must have anticipated the question, because he pushed a scrap of paper toward me. I stared at the number on it, knowing I shouldn’t use it but desperate to have it anyway. I tried to look calm as I programmed it into my phone and then put the phone back in my pocket.
I did not want to go to work. I wanted to call Savhoran and invite myself over to his place. Bad idea.
Lomen was my escort du jour. I liked him because he had a sense of humor, and he didn’t look down on me. He was practical, too. One day he made up a list of books he was interested in reading, and he had me check them out one at a time for him to read while he was guarding the building.
He came into the library with me that morning, because he’d just finished Mein Kampf. I dropped the book in returns. “What’s next?”
“War and Peace,” Lomen said.
“Oh, man. You really ought to read that one on the Kindle.”
He gave me a curious look. Not wanting to explain ebooks to him in public, I pulled the book for him and checked it out on my account. He hefted it and grinned at me.
“See you at lunch.”
I smiled and went back to my station. Poppy, the goth who works the same shift as me, was looking at me.
“So you got a gorgeous boyfriend, too? Does he have any brothers?”
I racked a stack of data entry forms. “He’s just a friend. No brothers that I know of.”
“A friend you have lunch with every day. He looks like Len’s boyfriend.”
“They’re cousins.”
“Damn. Sure there aren’t any more at home?”
I didn’t answer, because I didn’t want to lie and I sure didn’t want to tell the truth. The cousins looked enough alike that Poppy thought she was seeing the same one all the time. No need to correct her on that.
I dove into the data entry and tried to keep from thinking about Savhoran every other minute. Didn’t do so well on that but the work made the time pass.
Just before lunch, Steve Harrison came up to my station. Of all the students who hung around the library that summer, he was the best looking: slim but not skinny, blond with brown eyes and a smile to tighten your loins. He was almost as gorgeous as the ælven. Brilliant, too; he was carrying a double major in chemistry and physics and barely breaking a sweat. Unfortunately for us single girls he was also gay.
Maybe I wasn’t a single girl anymore, I thought as I watched him walk up. A little happy shiver went down my spine.
“Hi, Steve. What can I do for you?”
“That book on isotopes come in yet?”
“Let me check.” I looked up the record. “Nope. Yours is the first hold on it, though.”
“Damn. I need it for a paper. Wasn’t it supposed to be in by now?”
“Yeah. It’s overdue.”
“Gimme the guy’s address.”
“You’re going to strong arm him? No, you’re going to seduce him. Sorry, I can’t give out that information.”
“Will you call him?”
I leaned on the counter and flirted up at him. “What’ll you give me?”
He looked sarcastic for just a second, then smiled a slow smile. “Have you chosen a major yet?”
“This isn’t about my education. It’s about your book.”
“Try economics. You’re a natural.”
I straightened up and glanced over at Poppy. “I think I’ve just been insulted.”
“No, I’m serious. You’re good with numbers, and you get the big picture. You’re a planner. Check it out. There’s a 200-level course in the fall. You should consider it.”
He was serious. I was touched; I didn’t think he cared a rat’s ass about me.
“OK, I’ll look into it. And I’ll call about the book.”
Steve gave me his dazzlingest smile. “Thanks, sweetie. Later.”
He headed up the stairs. Poppy came over to my end of the counter and leaned across it to stare at him until he was out of sight.
That was the most exciting thing that happened all morning. I called the delinquent borrower and left a message, then sent an email for good measure. Did my data entry, helped a few people with checkouts, and gossiped with Poppy.
At lunchtime I signed out and headed for the restroom, passing Steve on his way back down the stairs. I smiled at him but didn’t stop to chat, as my need for the restroom was genuine.
It was empty, unusual for the lobby at lunchtime, even in summer. That should have warned me, but I didn’t catch it.
Halfway to a stall, I felt the freeze coming.
= 8 =
Lomen!
I managed that, then I couldn’t even think any more. I was breathing, my eyes were open, but none of it was under my control.
A hand grabbed my arm and pushed me toward guess where—the handicapped stall. I was turned around and shoved against the wall by my best alben girlfriend.
I could see her sweatshirt and her hands, but I couldn’t move my eyes to look at her face. She pulled a knife out of her pocket. I was terrified, but since I couldn’t scream I just wondered how she’d got it past the metal detector at the library entrance. Mind control, maybe?
She reached up and cut my neck right under my ear, then latched on and sucke
d hard. Lomen was right about the no biting. It only hurt a little, but I was scared to think she could be sucking the life out of me, in the women’s restroom forgodsake.
The outer door opened. A girl screamed, then ran back out.
Door again, and Steve’s voice saying “Amanda?” and then the door banging hard against the wall.
The alben let go of me and went out. There was yelling and scuffling and a masculine shout of pain, the door, running footsteps, then Lomen’s voice: “Take care of her!”
And the door again. I blinked, realized I was unfrozen, and sank to the floor.
Steve pushed the stall door open wider. “Oh, shit! Amanda!”
He picked me up and carried me out of the stall, set me on the floor, grabbed some paper towels and pressed them against my neck. Then he took out his phone.
Even though I was free I was kind of in shock, and I just sat there listening to him talk to the 911 operator. Lomen wasn’t there so I figured he’d gone after the alben.
I realized Steve was talking to me. “…going to be OK, there’s an ambulance coming.”
I looked at him, touched by his worried expression. “How did you know…?”
“I saw her follow you in and I didn’t like the look on her face.”
I blinked and nodded, making the paper towels rustle. “Thank you.”
He smiled. “No problem.”
Campus security showed up before the ambulance. They weren’t a lot of help, but their presence was reassuring. They asked me questions I couldn’t really answer, not without getting sent for a psych eval. I did the best I could with the plain facts.
EMTs came in, and Poppy followed them. Her eyes got huge when she saw me.
“Tell Dave I can’t work this afternoon, OK?” I said. Understatement of the year.
She nodded and left, looking shook up. I, on the other hand, was perfectly calm. Funny how practical you can be in an emergency if the emergency is you. Other people get all the angst.
The EMTs cleaned me up and patched me up, then insisted on putting me on a stretcher.
“I can walk,” I said.
