My head fell into my hands, my fingers curled tightly into my hair. Those poor damn people that had been taken, the poor damn people that were now prisoners. For the first time I realized The Frozen Ones might actually have been the lucky ones. “Oh God,” I moaned.
“I told you there were things that you wouldn’t want to hear.” He was right, so unbelievably right, but I didn’t tell him to stop either. “They do not think about the consequences of their actions, and they do not care. They’re the superior race no matter where they go; they don’t have to worry about the outcome. It’s what they know, it’s who they are.”
I was spinning, lost, terrified of his words and their implications. Everything that he was saying didn’t sound like him, it sounded nothing like him, but then who was I to judge who he was? “And who are you?” I inquired softly.
Those eyes. They were infinite onyx pools as they gleamed in the moonlight. They were not nearly as black as I knew they could be though, not nearly as black as I had just seen them. “I’m what you made me.”
I was stunned, taken aback by his response. I didn’t understand it; I most certainly hadn’t been expecting it. He watched me intently, but I had no words for him. What the hell did that even mean?
“Before I was captured on the beach I hadn’t seen my real parents since I was two, and I saw them only briefly during the time I was gone. Their depth of indifference toward me is only matched by my own indifference to them.” My mouth dropped at the revelation, my head spun. How could he not care about his parents, even if he hadn’t seen them in years? It made no sense to me, none of it did. The more he revealed, the less and less I felt I knew him. “I was brought to Earth and given to the Marshall’s when I was two. The Marshall’s were desperate for a child, and they adopted me.”
I swallowed heavily. “Why would they give you to the Marshall’s of all people?”
“In the Marshall’s search for a child they came across one of my kind.” At the surprised look on my face he elaborated. “The Marshall’s didn’t know what it was they were dealing with. There are many of us throughout the world, all holding different positions. They are all in various places of power so that when they finally did arrive here again, it would be easier for them to take over. Easier to get the different governments to concede to certain things. In some countries they were even ruling powers.”
I choked, tears streaked down my face as he revealed the stunning depths of the aliens deception. “Adoption agent was a perfect opportunity for my people to place their children in various homes where the child might one day rise to become someone of power. Even the aliens that were here did not know when this attack was going to occur. It depended on when it would become necessary for a new reaping. Mr. Marshall…”
“Was a wealthy lawyer from a political family.”
“With political aspirations of his own. With his background, and family money, he could have risen to President.”
A jolt of fear tore through me. If he had risen to President, Cade would have been right there with him. He could have heard, and been able to learn so many things that would have been detrimental to the human race. He would have been right there, in the middle of it all, and no one would have thought twice about him because he was Mr. Marshall’s son. He would have been living in the freaking White House for crying out loud, the thought made me want to gag. And if the attack on us still didn’t come for many years, there was a chance that Cade himself may have one day been elected into our government.
They had been infiltrating us all those years, they’d been living amongst us and gaining control, and we had never known. We’d been sitting ducks. Even if we’d had some kind of warning, we never would have been able to stop them. They knew us to well, they were everywhere, and there was no bringing them down.
I really wanted to sit down. Really wanted to walk away. I didn’t want to hear this anymore, but I found my feet wouldn’t move. Mainly because I was terrified that my legs would no longer hold me up. The human race had never had a chance to begin with; we had even less of one now that our numbers had been decimated. I slumped against the tree, trying to think, trying to understand, terrified by what little I did understand.
Suddenly all of those times he had seemed tense, distant, exhausted and strained made sense. Those times he had disappeared into the woods, and come back strangely revitalized. He had gone hunting. But what exactly had he been hunting, animals or the Frozen Ones? Nausea twisted in my stomach. How little I knew about the man that had touched me so deeply was unsettling.
“You were only a child when they gave you away. How did they expect you to control your er… appetites? I mean you do drink blood, don’t you? You’re the one that said those monsters bring the blood back for them. Ian…” I choked on my words. “Ian drank mine.”
Fury flashed over his features, for a moment his eyes became completely black again as a snarl curved his upper lip. I took a small step back, a mewl of fear escaped me as I saw the creature lurking just beneath the surface. Cade’s surface. I saw the murderous fury he had managed to keep hidden from me for so long. He took a deep breath, the tight set of his shoulders relaxed slightly.
“Don’t fear me Bethany.”
I had no words for him, my heart ached for the sorrow I heard in his voice, but how I could not fear him? He was truly terrifying when he was enraged to the point of revealing his inner self. “I tried to keep him from you; I tried to keep you from him…” his voice trailed off, his gaze settled on something far off and distant. “It’s my fault, I should have done more.”
“There was nothing you could have done about tonight,” I whispered.
His eyes latched onto me, hardness slipped over his beautiful features. For the first time he appeared truly alien to me in the gleaming light of the moon. “I could have killed him sooner. I should have killed him sooner.”
My mouth dropped, a cold chill ran down my spine. He meant it. He would have killed Ian sooner if he’d known that tonight was going to happen. He would have killed him in cold blood, and he wouldn’t have blinked an eye. I wanted to cry, he was darker than I’d ever imagined, ever thought possible. And he had killed for me tonight, and I knew with unfailing certainty that he would do so again. “Cade…”
“Make no mistake Bethany, you come first. Always. No matter what happens, after tonight, you need to realize that your safety is number one. No matter what the cost or who I have to go through to ensure it.”
“Oh Cade.”
He stared at me for a moment longer, his head tilted slightly to the side. “The hunger for something other than food doesn’t awaken until we reach fifteen, and neither do our other abilities.” It took me a moment to realize that he was answering my last question; that he did not want to elaborate on his last statement. “By then we are better able to deal with our urges. We can control all our appetites if we so chose. We are capable of surviving on meat if necessary, a lot of it, and preferably raw.” I jolted in shock, my eyes widened. It took everything I had not to vomit. Oh God, oh God! My mind was screaming, hammering, pulsing with adrenaline and terror. Meat. Raw meat. All those strange urges, all the differences. My head bowed, I was struggling to breathe.
“Though under times of great duress, activity, and stress meat does not suffice and it becomes necessary to feed on real blood. There are others way to feed our need for a soul and humans are not the only things that possess a soul,” he continued, apparently not realizing how sever my reaction to his words was. “There are other ways to fulfill that need, and it does not have to destroy, or even hurt the person, or creature. I just need to take caution not to lose control.”
“So then why are they doing this?” I was stunned by the pleading desperation in my voice. Stunned by the desperation and longing that surged through me. What I really wanted to ask was why had they done this to me? Why had those creatures changed me on some physical level? What had they done to me? But I could not force the words out, I could barely admit i
t to myself, let alone admit it to someone else. And not Cade, not now. “Why?” I choked out.
His eyes softened, compassion shone from them. For the first time since this had all started I saw the Cade I had come to know and love beneath the hardened façade he had been exhibiting. “Bethany…”
“My mother… Please just tell me why!?”
His face hardened again, his ice were black ice once more. “Because they can, because they’re hungry. Because they don’t curb their hungers. It’s why they’re in this mess in the first place, why they had to abandon their own ravished planet to begin with.”
A sob escaped me, and then a fiery rage surged through me. I straightened away from the tree, finding strength where moments ago there had been none. “My mother is dead, millions of people’s lives- no billions of people’s lives- have been ruined because they can’t control their hunger!?”
Was I going to become like that too? The question didn’t leave my mouth though.
Cade watched me for a long moment, before nodding. “Yes.”
His flat answer momentarily spiked my fury. Why wasn’t he as indignant and infuriated by this as I was? “Damn you!” I snarled.
Hurt flickered in his gaze; he took a step toward me and then stopped. “Damn me? I didn’t do
this! I kept you alive.”
I shook my head, but I could feel everything within me crumbling again. My anger deflated like a popped balloon. It was hard; it was all so freaking hard. I felt like I was spinning out of control, as if everything was spinning out of control.
“I’ve kept you alive for a very long time.”
My head snapped up at his words. I didn’t understand what the hell he meant by that. “Excuse me?”
He sighed softly. “Ever since the moment I saw you Bethany, I knew. I’d never had emotions before then, never experienced feelings; my kind doesn’t have those things. It’s not supposed to happen to us. Ever. I was supposed to be too young to have felt the hunger, The Calling, when we first met. It wasn’t supposed to happen for another ten years. The Calling is what we call the desire we acquire to touch and taste a soul. When it happens, we feel as if the soul is calling to us, beckoning us to feed from it, to savor it, and gain strength from what it has to offer.”
“Pardon our souls, damn things should just keep quiet,” I muttered bitterly.
“Not helping,” he grated. “You have no idea what it is like to deny The Calling, hour after hour, day after day. No idea what it is like to suppress that hunger, that desire; that need, especially when I am around you.” I stared angrily at him, but I clenched my jaw and bit my tongue on my sharp retort. I had seen that hunger burning in his eyes, I had felt his desire for something more from me; I just hadn’t recognized it for what it was. Hadn’t recognized what it was that he really wanted from me. “The Calling of your soul is so strong, and vibrant, and I want you so badly. I would give anything for just…”
He closed his eyes, his hands fisted as he broke off. For a brief moment ecstasy and then tension and pain twisted his features. “A taste?” I whispered unable to stop the thrill that tore through me at the thought. He wanted me desperately, but he had never touched me in such a way. I was certain of that, I had felt it with Ian, I would most certainly have felt it if Cade had ever done that to me.
“Yes,” he hissed. His excitement and desire were clearly evident in that one simple word. “But I can’t. Ever. At least not with you. Never you.”
“Why not me?” It was a strange question to ask. Especially when I should be happy that he wasn’t going to drain me dry, instead of feeling oddly deflated and rejected by such a proposition.
For a moment he remained unable to look at me, and then slowly his eyes opened and he focused sharply upon me. “Because I don’t think I could stop myself from taking all of you into me. I have never done that before, never drained a living creature completely of their essence. But yours, ah yours,” his voice was soft, almost seductive with yearning. “I want every bit of you inside of me. I want to taste you and feel you until I can’t take anymore, and then I want to keep on taking until I’m completely sated, and I don’t think I’ll ever be sated. Not with you.”
I stared at him in wide eyed astonishment. I thought I should be more horrified by what he was saying, what he was telling me, but instead I was oddly titillated by it. Just what the hell did that say about me? I wondered. Though I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted the answer, I was fairly certain it didn’t say anything good.
“The moment I saw you.” His eyes became distant, almost wistful as he began to pace restlessly. He reminded me of a caged, wild panther. I watched him in fascination, my eyes following every movement he made. “I felt it. I felt the hunger, the burning need, felt The Calling in my veins. I didn’t know what it was. I wasn’t supposed to experience it for another ten years, but it was suddenly there, alive and clawing at me with an intensity that no five year old should have to experience. I am thankful everyday that I didn’t destroy you, then and there, to satisfy my craving for what was coursing through you. What was pulsing through your veins, and beating against my body.”
My mouth went dry; I hugged myself against his words, stunned by the intensity in them. The yearning. “Why didn’t you?” I asked tremulously.
“Because the minute I saw you standing there in that little blue dress, with those golden pigtails, it awakened something else in me. Something more than just The Calling. I’d never known emotions, never known what it was like to care for someone, to want to be with someone, and protect them. And I wanted to be with you every damn day. I never wanted to be apart from you. You were so beautiful to me, so bright and shining and I relished in the newfound emotions you brought to me. Your laugh was captivating, it ensnared me; your smile fascinating.
“I didn’t have it in me to love someone at all before then, not my real parents, not even the Marshall’s. Never mind to love someone as much as I loved you in that moment, but I did and that love only grew with every minute we shared together. Minutes I cherished every day. I didn’t know what the emotion of love was, I was too shocked by its sudden burst into me to completely understand it, but I knew I would spend the rest of my life looking after you, caring for you, and keeping you safe from the danger that I knew lurked outside of this world that you felt so secure in.
“You made me this way Bethany, you created me. You turned me into something that I was never supposed to be. Your essence called to me so fiercely that it awakened The Calling in me and awakened it long before it was supposed to be awakened. You made me feel when I was never supposed to. As far as I know, I am the only one that has ever happened to, but I’m sure if it has happened to anyone else they have also kept it a secret. They would have done everything possible to keep the person they loved safe.”
My heart melted, I could only stand there in stunned silence as I listened to him. His words were so fervent and passionate that I was struck breathless by them. They were beautiful; his love for me was rare and wondrous, even if it was strange and extraordinary. He was beautiful, and even though I wasn’t, I realized now just how beautiful he thought I was. How beautiful he had always thought I was.
“I didn’t know,” I whispered, aching for the fear and uncertainty such a young boy must have felt when it happened. He had been unprepared, all alone, frightened, and hungry. That such a young child had restrained from taking what he wanted, when that was what his kind apparently did all the time anyway, was astonishing. That he had done it for me was astronomical. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”
“I was never alone Bethany, not with you there.”
A sob tore free of me, a wrenching agony twisted through my chest. So poignant, so deep and heartfelt, and yet so lost. “I didn’t realize, until all of this happened, that I had always loved you. That I had from that first moment also. I knew it on some basic, instinctive level that I had buried deep within me in order to keep from being hurt by you again. Because you did
go away, you did leave me Cade. You weren’t there. After the Marshall’s died, you only ever came back to me the night of my father’s funeral. And then you never came back again.”
His smile was self depreciating. “I didn’t want you to know what I was Bethany, ever. I never wanted you to know what I was, what I struggled with. I simply wanted you to see the good in me, to love the good in me. The good that you gave to me, that without you I never would have had. I couldn’t bear for you to see the evil in me. I had to go away Bethany, and I couldn’t come back ii I was going to keep you safe.”
“Why?” I whispered, my lip trembling. Emotions ricocheted through me faster than a bullet in a metal room. “Why did you have to go? You never would have hurt me Cade. You controlled The Calling as a boy of five, why couldn’t you do the same at seven, ten, or even fifteen?”
“Because they would have killed you too.”
I started in surprise. “Who would have killed me too?”
He took a step closer to me. I could see the yearning in his gaze for me, his desire to hold me, to have me understand. “The Marshall’s were not killed during a random home invasion. They were killed because of me.”
“I don’t understand,” I whispered.
“We don’t feel emotion Bethany. We don’t care for anything other than ourselves and our gratification. We don’t exhibit love for anyone. I was young; I was unbelievably stunned to have met you. I was in love, and though I thought I hid that fact well, I didn’t. My kind noticed something in me, something different, but they miscalculated where that difference came from. They had assumed that it was the Marshall’s I had come to feel for. After I met you I did grow to like them, they were nice enough people, but I still felt little for them other than thanks for providing me with shelter and food. My love for you did not spread to others. I cared for them more than I had before, but their deaths did not overly sadden me.
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