by Cara Carnes
“Souls who understand the symbolic significance of placement are much simpler. In this instance, Evon has repeatedly shown us his swiftness. He took immense pride in being fast on foot and an exceptional tracker.”
“He was,” I whispered.
“Where do you think he’d wish to be positioned?”
My gaze wandered down Ren’s sprawled body again. He smirked, but red tinted his face. He was the shy, bashful Shadow, which meant he was likely even more mortified than me. “Here.”
I pointed at his thick calf. The emblem was longer and narrow, like the fire sticks I hid within my boots.
“Excellent choice,” Ren said. “I concur.”
At least Nefus didn’t expect me to do more than observe. I winced when the hot iron struck Ren’s skin. He didn’t cry out or react in any way, not even a twitch. They repeated the process with Vellis, whose familial crest now rested on Ren’s ribcage.
Lazar’s etching was larger than theirs. The mark of the Roteran empire surrounded the detailed scene of the home he’d been raised in before his mother remarried a Skeron and abandoned the familial homestead, one he’d vowed to return to one day. Ren turned, the motion so swift and graceful I barely noticed until I stared at his bare back rather than his adorned chest. What was he doing?
Intensity burned within his gaze and deepened his voice when he looked at me. “Lazar will be the first warrior at my back because I trust him above all others to protect you, Snow.”
“But why would that matter to you?”
“Because you matter to me, more than you should. Perhaps the spirit’s emotions have strengthened an interest I felt the moment I saw you, but you matter to me. You matter to us all.”
I wasn’t sure whether us all meant the spirits in him or the rest of his Shadow squadron. I wasn’t sure which I would prefer. Perhaps both. Nefus removed the iron from the fire and wrapped my fingers around the handle. I thinned my lips and willed enough courage to honor Lazar and Ren, unify them. The iron struck skin. I counted in my head as I expanded my aura outward to calm Lazar. I met the warrior calm he’d exhibited so many times while training me.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I handed the iron off to Nefus. Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss just above the burned area. I repeated the process with Evon’s and Vellis’s etchings.
“Thank you,” Ren replied. “You are a remarkable woman, Snow. My souls spent one night wrapped around you and would rather die than separate from you.”
I felt the same way, which was crazy. Then again, I felt that way for all the Shadows, a realization I wasn’t sure how to handle. Many cultures had multiple partners. Roterans, for one. That didn’t mean they’d be interested in…
“Head up, I’ll be with you shortly. I must speak privately with Nefus a moment.” Ren sat up.
Though I didn’t want to separate from him, I nodded.
“Come, let’s leave.” Marden took my upper arm and steered me toward the door. “We’ll wait upstairs for you.”
We headed upstairs at a breakneck pace. “Slow down, Marden.”
He halted at the top of the stairs, turned and pressed me against the wall. “Ren is the youngest of us all. Do not play him.”
“Play him?”
“I see the way you look at him. I sense how vested in you his souls have become. The work we do as Shadows doesn’t permit a life where he could be your mate, raise your children on our home world. He will never have that life. None of us will.”
“I don’t believe you. You all deserve happiness, an identity outside of being a Shadow.”
A darkness crawled into his gaze, a pained expression I felt deep in my soul. “In another lifetime, perhaps. In this one, we have only battle, bloodshed, and more battles until our spirits fail us and we die.”
“You don’t believe that,” I whispered, even though I sensed the truth in his aura. The dark, aching despair and woe he carried like a heavy armor. I reached out, but he grasped my wrist and squeezed.
“Don’t encourage his spirits. It isn’t fair on Ren, or them. They can’t ever have you.”
“I don’t see what say you have in it,” I clipped.
“More than you’ll ever know,” he replied. “We enter a squadron for life, female. A union isn’t with one of the warriors, it’s with us all.”
Shock rippled through me as images assailed my mind. Me with Ren. Zelig. All of them. Awareness pebbled across my skin, but heat rose in my cheeks. I imagined the warriors had far too much experience to be interested in my awkward fumblings. Relationships and sex sharing weren’t something I’d experienced, mainly because I’d been so young when I’d been sequestered.
It didn’t mean I didn’t have fantasies.
Desires.
Needs.
Holodecks only offered so much in the way of pleasure, however. I doubted I could satisfy even one of the Shadows, let alone all seven. How would that even work?
Marden watched me with an amused glint in his expression. “Little Snow is curious.”
Approval rumbled within the statement.
“Whenever you’re ready to play, find me.”
“You just warned me to stay away.”
“From Ren, yes. His souls latch on to you like they’ll never let go. Mine just want to fuck you. Hard. Deep. Long.”
Wow.
My entire body shivered in anticipation. “Are you done being crude?”
“For now.” His gaze slid down me. “I might be a crude cretin, but it doesn’t make what I said less true.”
Ren
* * *
“She is your mate,” Nefus declared. “I’ve felt few connections stronger than the one you’ve already established with her.”
Ren regarded the old Tezan healer and nodded as he rubbed the emblem of his first soul, the one who’d remained a constant raging presence in his mind. The bastard had died a warrior’s death and deserved Ren’s respect, but he was difficult to handle, more so after death. Yet Snow calmed him. The warrior was utterly besotted, as was he.
Mate.
The mental declaration solidified the determination resonating within all his spirits as he assessed them. Snow was his mate, which meant she was the mate of the Shadows within his squadron as well. Roteran females rarely mated with Dark Guardians or Shadows. The females preferred the meeker classes within the hierarchy, the scholars and sages. Those not born for battle and strengthened by death.
Many of their kind feared the elite Shadow and Dark Guardian ranks. It was why Ren had very little experience interacting with women. Heat rose in his face as he thought about waking up with Snow beside him as though she had every right to be there. He’d liked waking with her.
“You had questions.”
Ren forced his attention on the task at hand. “Tell me what you know of the Omega.”
“The Omega?” Nefus’s gaze widened. He looked at the stairwell where Snow and Marden departed. “She couldn’t possibly be the Omega Summoner.”
“Why not?”
The old man blustered a moment. “I know very little. The text I recall reading as a child indicated the Omega Summoner would be born of five royal lineages and be aligned with every species within the Oracle’s galaxies. It’s a ludicrous notion. How could that possibly happen?”
Indeed. Ren grunted as he stood. He offered his wrist apparatus so the old man could take the credits he more than deserved. “Thank you for showing her the healing ways. We have a long journey.”
“Safe travels. May you prosper.” The man rose, patted him on the back. “Whatever you are planning, I hope you succeed. I’d like to take my last breath with the Tezan back in control of the Summoner’s Well.”
6
Snow
The Roteran vessel was smaller than The Paradox, but far more advanced. I spent the rest of the day exploring the ship when they departed the Avaru Outpost. Ren was quiet, more than likely exhausted from the etchings. Although I wanted to remain at his side, insist he rest rather than w
ork, I remained dutifully silent and hovered in the corner and out of the way as Zelig barked orders for us to be underway.
That’d been more than half a day ago. I had slid into the corridor and started exploring. Lighting turned on whenever I entered a room, doors opened. I didn’t have to bang on any controls or yell at any communication panels. I entered the last door on the right side of the corridor and gasped.
Plants.
I wandered deeper in. A fine mist hung in the air. Eyes closed, I threw my head back and inhaled earthy sediment and growth into my nostrils and tasted damp nourishment on my tongue. Ten solar cycles on a broken-down cargo ship taught me the value of clean water and fresh food. Both were a rarity.
I stroked a purple leaf on a large plant as I walked by, angling toward the back where a soft humming sound echoed. I fingered the damp soil and smiled. Which of the Shadows was into hydroponics? Curiosity made me walk faster as the humming got louder. The area was larger than I’d imagined upon first entering.
My pulse quickened as I turned and almost ran into Slade, who was tending a large bed of falla fruit. My mouth watered, though I wasn’t sure if it was at the thought of eating the succulent, sweet treat or from feasting on the Shadow warrior’s gorgeous body. My heart thundered as I swept my gaze over his exposed torso. He was in a loose pair of what Evon had called breakers. The thin, soft animal skin pants draped low at the waist and spanned downward to mid-thigh. The material stretched across muscles so prominent and thick I couldn’t stop looking.
As if sensing my arrival, he stood to his full height, which left the top of my head at his chest. All the Shadows were beyond tall, even more so than Lazar. The guardsman’s name made my heart ache.
“Snow.” He pulled small devices from his ears. Music drifted into the room. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, sorry. I was just…” My gaze roamed downward again, following his hand as it rubbed across his chest, then settled on a lean hip. “I was exploring the ship. I must’ve lost track of time. It’s late. I’ll go.”
“No, stay. Ashan’s probably looking for you, though. Give me a moment, I’ll let him know you’re with me.” He smiled as he pressed a few buttons on the wall panel. “Sit.”
I took the lone stool awkwardly and looked around, inhaling deeply again. With my eyes closed, I could almost imagine a field on a planet. A real home.
Dirt squishing between my toes.
I didn’t even care what kind of dirt it was. I’d often spoken the dream aloud to my caregivers over the years. Yora and Lazar assured me it didn’t matter what planet it was, what the dirt was. Some was rougher than I’d like. Others would blister the bottoms of my feet.
I couldn’t imagine so many soils and sediments. Plants. I studied all the life within the room. My stomach rumbled.
“You haven’t been eating,” Slade commented. He put a hand on my back. “This is my hydroponics bay. Zelig and the others indulge my hobby.”
“This is some hobby,” I whispered. “I’ve never seen so many plants.”
“And you didn’t answer my question, Snow.”
“I didn’t hear a question,” I hedged.
“Very well.” He smirked then crossed his arms.
I studied all the etchings along his arms, abdomen, and chest. So many souls, far more than Ren. The lethal quiet he always projected loosened, enough for my aura to rub against his, silently to greet the souls within him. Were they like Ren’s?
“You haven’t been eating,” he repeated. “Why not?”
“Replicators and I don’t get along.” I shrugged. “Yora blamed by Tezan blood, said I had a sensitive digestive system like my mom.”
“What did she fix you?”
“Whatever we could barter and trade for. We rationed fresh foods, used them only when replicators were down. I can eat replicator rations, I just have to be particular. The less additives, the better.” Heat crept up my face. “Sorry, I didn’t come here to whine about my digestive system.”
“Don’t apologize. I asked.” He held out a hand. “Come. Let’s see what we can find here you might enjoy eating.”
“Oh, no.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t possibly eat any of this. It’s yours. Plants take so long to grow. I couldn’t possibly.”
“This is a Roteran hydroponics system. Plants grow six to ten times faster here than in their natural habitat. Trust me, we have plenty.” He picked up a small basket. “I should have realized your system would be averse to replicator rations. The Tezan spirits in me revolt whenever I eat them.”
“How…” I looked down, hesitant to ask.
“I spent my childhood on the Dark Guardian space station. My father was a Dark Guardian. I’d just reached maturity, ten solar cycles, when their Commander was mortally injured in battle. Although they managed to return him to the station for medical treatment, he passed. He had many spirits they wished to retain, far too many for just a few to salvage safely. That’s how I came into possession of my first three Tezan souls.” His lips thinned. “I remained with the Guardians and trained for six solar cycles. Whenever one of them fell, I was the one who salvaged any Tezan spirit.”
Why wasn’t he a Dark Guardian then?
I didn’t ask, sensing the sadness seeping into his aura. “I look forward to meeting them one day. I’ve never…my mom was the only Tezan I knew. I’d love to hear their stories, whenever you and they are ready.”
He smiled. “Come, let’s get some food to fix.”
I reached out and roped an arm with his as he guided us through row after row of plants. I didn’t know what most of them were. He’d pause occasionally and talk about one of them, usually offering a small story to go along with it. The basket was loaded with colorful fruits, roots, and vegetables by the time he escorted us out of the bay. The lethally quiet stranglehold Slade maintained slid away as we walked down the hall.
Auras, warm and stronger than I expected, swept forward and made contact with mine. One by one, the Tezan souls within Slade greeted me. My gaze burned as he sat us on a bench within an alcove. He draped a protective arm around me. Head on his shoulder, I closed my eyes and studied each image they offered. But I wasn’t alone with the spirits.
A protective aura, so powerful it took my breath away, remained steadfast at my side. Slade.
“They won’t hurt me,” I said aloud.
“You are right, they won’t. I won’t give them the chance.” He threaded his fingers through my hair. “You have many spirits to meet within us, Snow. Do not think they possess the same good nature as the three warriors you knew. Some of us carry evil spirits, enemies who’d love to make one we care about suffer, even it is only on the psychic plane.”
I didn’t pretend to understand much about the psychic plane. I’d only used it the past couple of years, mainly because Lazar had said it was necessary. My Tezan powers had grown too strong for me to not use them on occasion. I missed him terribly. Warmth drifted within Slade’s gaze when I looked up. Awareness arced between them, much like it had between me and Ren. I swallowed, unsure what was happening. I reached up and traced the intricate mark along his neck, right above the jugular.
The Roteran spirit within roused, flexed beneath my fingertips. His aura projected confidence, but loneliness crawled along my thoughts as he flashed images of the life he’d had. A mate.
Children.
I stroked the emblem. You aren’t alone, warrior. Never again. You have extensive family, proud warriors who’d call you brother if given the chance.
The image of the beautiful woman flashed into my mind again. The children.
Images of them dead slammed into my brain. Blood. So much blood.
A growl rumbled along the psychic plane as Slade appeared. Blackness swept my mind. I latched on to the Roteran spirit despite the blackness, continued to send him warmth and understanding.
Hope.
You aren’t alone, warrior.
“I’m sorry, he shouldn’t have shown that to you, Sno
w. I thought him more trustworthy.”
“Don’t coddle me, not with them. They have memories they want to share, an identity they want me to see. I want to see them.” I pushed out of his hold. “I can’t explain it, but I feel them calling to me like…”
Like I was theirs. Talk about a foolish notion. I shook my head and locked the statement tightly away.
“Look at me, Snow.” He cupped my face and waited patiently until I complied. Softness reflected in his gaze, a turbulent awareness which I hadn’t noted before. “Do not ever doubt what you feel. Do not ever suppress what you wish to say, not with us. You are safe with all of us. We will never judge whatever you feel.”
He knew.
How could he possibly know I was attracted to them all? I hadn’t spent time alone with many of them yet, but I couldn’t deny the attraction, the flare of desire and the rush of emotions whenever they were near. They all enthralled me. From Ashan’s unbendable joy to Marden’s constant grouchiness. I wanted to learn what made each of them who they were, get to know every spirit they possessed even if it took me forever to do so.
The Shadows were beyond complicated. The tapestry of emotions, memories and personalities within each of them were beyond anything I could have imagined.
“Come, let’s eat. It is getting late. The others are worried.”
It wasn’t the first time they had alluded to a telepathic connection. “You’re telepaths?”
“Yes, and we all possess at least one telepathic spirit. It is a requirement for all Shadows and Dark Guardians. It makes communication with the squadrons easier.” Slade guided us down the corridor leading toward the galley.
I took a deep breath and asked the question I’d held on to. “How did you come to be with the Shadows if you were raised and trained with the Dark Guardians?”
“The Roteran Council realized they needed firmer control over the Shadows. We operated in the farthest regions of the empire most of the time. Even though we weren’t banished from the home world like Dark Guardians, we rarely return. When we do, it’s brief. Seeing the fear in everyone’s gazes…” His jaw twitched. I touched his chest and faced him. “I was assigned as a liaison between Shadows and Dark Guardians. I was to report their transgressions to the Roteran Council but have never done so.”
