Barely acknowledging her, he brushed past with a preoccupied frown and marched into the house.
She could hear himm talk to the boys, asking them to gather oil for the lantern, since he meant to go out again as soon as he had eaten. In the meantime, they were to think – think hard – about any place their sister could have gone. This was no time for secrets; Jude’s life was on the line.
Gwen tried to tell herself that this was natural for him to rush to the boys, that at times of crisis a family should band together, but she cannot help but feel left out. The might not like her much, but contrary to popular opinion, she was not entirely useless. Following Michael into the house to volunteer her services, she tried to think of something she could do.
The boys ran about, while Michael stood eating leftover gruel. She was about to suggest the ham in the pantry when he asked, “Would anyone explain why no one told me Jude was a girl?”
One of the twins looked at Gwen, then straight to Christopher. “Both of silence, heart? She took all of two minutes to spill the secret.”
“No one warned me that I wasn’t supposed to tell about Jude,” Gwen protested. “I’d have thought it would wasn’t something you would want to keep secret from your uncle, anyway.”
“Valid point.” Michael looked at his oldest nephew. “What is this about, Patrick? Why is Jude so dead set against my knowing she is a girl?”
“It’s not you.” Patrick looked at his feet, then went on haltingly. “You know how it was with father.”
“I know,” Michael prodded gently. “Go on.”
The boy continued to look at the floor. “When Jude was born, mother was scared to tell him she wasn’t a boy. She was sick and didn’t want father beating her for giving him a puny daughter. Then later, mother still couldn’t tell him, because she was scared what he would do to Jude.”
Gwen held her hand over her heart, horrified of the picture his quiet words painted. What sort of monster would blame and innocent baby for not being the son he wanted?
From his scowl, she could tell Michael was equally outraged, but his tone remained calm and gentle. “I understand how it was with your father, Patrick, but I still don’t see why you cannot tell me the truth.”
The boy shook his head, at the moment far more mature than his years. “Jude made us swear. She did not want things to change, for people to start treating her different. She wanted to be our brother forever. When mother died, before you came to take us away, she made has promised never to tell anyone.”
“Jude said you wouldn’t want her any more than father did,” Christopher volunteered. “Nobody wants a girl.”
Michael put down his bowl, his appetite clearly lost. “Where is she?” He asked softly. “Please no more secrets. Can you see I have to find her.”
“I swear, we don’t know.” Patrick tried to smile. “But don’t worry. If anyone can get by in the swamp, it is Jude.”
“Ordinarily, I would be the first to agree with you, but not with the mess in the bayou. If the gators calm, there’s no telling what can happen.”
The boys looked at each other; when began to squirm inside. She didn’t need any accusations; she knew who’d put the dishes out there.
The boys began to talk at once, masking the sound of the door opening behind them, but as if her sheer presence through their gaze, all four turn to the doorway. Jude stood motionless, Sullen and hostile, only her red rimmed eyes betraying the fact that she’d been crying.
“Jude,” Christopher cried, running to throw his arms around her.
Michael showed his relief in typically male fashion. “Where the hell have you been, young lady?”
Jude turn to Gwen, instantly on the attack. “You told him!”
“I had to. He is your uncle. He needed to know.”
“I hate you. If you are what it means to be a woman, I don’t ever want to grow up to be one!”
“Enough!” Michael looked to her with a scowl. “As long as Gwen is a guest in our home, you will show a little respect. You all her an apology, Jude. I think you all do.”
Gwen cringed inwardly. Couldn’t he see this wasn’t the time to demand an apology? “That is not-“
Michael silence her with a frown, forcing her to listen as Jude bit out a rough and unconvincing “sorry.” With a glare for Wednesday benefit, the girl announced tiredly that she was tired and wanted to go to bed, before stomping off in the direction of her bedroom.
Clearly bewildered, Michael R ago. As his shoulders slumped, Gwen relies for the first time how hard it must be for him, a bachelor inheriting five unpredictable children. It made her want to intercede, to offer to go talk to the girl – but in truth, what could she say? There had never been any love lost between them; Jude was likely to chase Gwen from the room.
Yet though she opened her mouth to volunteer anyway, she never got the chance. Setting his lips in a grim line, Michael March determine lead toward the back room.
Exchanging worried glances, the boys followed their uncle, leaving Gwen once again a loan and forgotten. Her first reaction was to say fine, let them ignore her, but hurt feelings soon gave way to curiosity. She had to know what Michael was saying to the children.
She moved quietly to the ward the bedroom. Aware that her presence was not particularly welcome, she stopped outside the door to listen. She sought Michael hunkered down toward Jude, as if sensing she’d feel less intimidated without his tall frame towering over her. The boys hovered close, clearly preparing in case there sister should need them.
“Your mother was a girl,” Michael was saying gently, “and she happened to be my favorite person in this world.”
Jude I him with curiosity. “Yeah, but she was your sister. You had to like her. You don’t hardly know me at all, and it ain’t like you stick around much to get to know me better.”
“I know.” His side betrayed his wariness, but his smile denied that he felt the girl was a burden. “Try to understand. It’s not by choice that I leave, Jude. I’d like nothing better than to be here with you every day, but the sad truth is there are things I must do before we can live like a regular family. It might not be easy, or even fair, but I am asking you to trust me. I am doing all in my power to keep us together.”
The girls glance held a hint of hope, though her tone was as skeptical as ever. “Yeah, and why should I trust you?”
Michael hesitated, and Gwen it could see by the Titan features how hard this was for him. By demanding genuine emotion, Jude forced him to feel things he’d no doubt avoided for years. Turning slowly, he looked at each of the children in turn, as if to make certain all five new they were included. “Because I said I would be here for you,” he stated simply, as he focused his gaze again on Jude, “and I never go back on my word.”
Glenn had a sudden picture of a younger Michael, rushing to her rescue after Lance pushed her to the ground. You can trust me, she nearly blurted out, but caught herself in time. A short time ago, she thought this man a wife beater, a murderer. What had happened to change your mind?
As Michael reached out to brush the hair from Jude’s face, a gesture both tender and loving, Gwen had her answer. She’d gotten a glimpse of the real Michael, the man he kept hitting from the rest of the world.
“Besides,” he told the girl gently, “where else could I go? You are my family. You children are all I have got left.”
“Oh Michael, I am so sorry.” Jude threw herself into her uncle’s arms. “I never meant to lie to you.”
“I know,” he said soothingly, lifting Jude up and turning to sit them both on the bed, the boys gathering close beside them. Watching Michael console his niece, Gwen felt the tightness in her throat. She’d give anything to be surrounded by such love and caring, but more than she dared admit, she wanted to know how it would feel to be held so gently by Michael.
He looked up, then, his eyes blinking with her own. She could be standing there naked, so expose did she feel, wearing only her longing and need. She wanted
to flee, she tried to, but Michael’s gaze kept her immobile. The words love, honor, and cherish reverberated through her brain.
Sensing something wrong, Jude glanced over her shoulder. She stiffened, withdrawing from Michael’s arms stand beside him. “. What is she doing here?” The girl ask belligerently, glaring at the Gwen. “She has no right intruding into private family matters.”
As Michael broke the gaze to chide his niece, Gwen took the chance to collect her thoughts. “Please, don’t scold her,” she said quickly. “Jude is right. I don’t belong here. I will go wait in the other room.”
“No.” The word was abrupt, demanding, but Michael deliberately gentle his voice. “That is, if you have a moments, the children have something me want to say to you.”
All five turned to stare at her resentful he. No one said a word.
Michael stood, scowling down at them, centering his displeasure on Patrick. “I’m waiting.”
“Michael says we go you an apology,” the boys offered grudgingly, and then after a frown from his uncle, added, “We are sorry.”
There was a barely audible chorus of “sorry,” from the other boys, Jude noticeably refraining. When her uncle turned to her, she said, “I already apologized. I ain’t doing it again.”
“I am not doing it again,” Glenn corrected, earning only a sneer from the girl. “Don’t frown, Jude. I am trying to teach you to speak correctly.”
Jude turn to Michael. “Under the circumstances, I think grammar can wait,” he said, staring at Gwen with an annoyed expression.
“There is no time like the present to start,” he said defensively. “You have to amend it they have a long way to go.”
He crossed the room in five long strides, stopping in the doorway tower over her. Once more, his gaze stripped Gwen to the bare necessities, probing into the core of her as if to find out what made her tick.
With a shrug, he asked if she’d please join him in the other room. Turning down the hall, he left her staring after him, alone and trembling. Now what had she done wrong?
Gradually aware of the curious eyes watching from inside the bedroom, she turned to the children. All five huddled together in a united front. “You will learn your manners, “she told them, wagging her finger. “Even if I must drill them down your throats.”
“Gwen!”
Starting, she reacted instantly to the command in Michael’s voice. She found him waiting by the front door, wearing his usual exasperation. “Do you practice,” snapped, “or do you just have the knack for finding the one sure way to antagonistic them?”
When halted in the middle of the room, surprise, for she thought she’d dealt with the children in a firm, yet mature fashion. “No matter what I do, they are antagonistic.”
Michael went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “It wasn’t easy to get them to apologize. You could have accepted it graciously and build from there, but no, you had to be whittled their grammar.”
“It needed correcting,” She said defensively, “and besides, isn’t that why you brought me out here?”
“To teach them, not to make them feel inadequate. The way you look down your nose at them, why not just come right out and say that they can never measure up to your expectations?”
“I have never looked down my nose-“
“You live up there in your fine, fancy house, believing your name alone puts you above the rest of us.”
“I don’t have to listen to this.”
“Yes, you do, because you’re not in your world, you’re in our world now. Here, a person’s worth is measured by less by who they know, and more by what they accomplished. We evaluate hard work and honesty more than knowing which fork to use at dinner, so try to keep that in mind when you’re drilling your so-called Mainers down my nephew’s throats. As I recall, it courtesy also entails in kind and considerate of other than others feelings, so why not take time to learn who they are? Stop being such a snob, and you will find they can teach you a thing or two as well. Considering your father’s finances, it can’t hurt you to learn how we poor people get by.”
“Why are you being so nasty?”
“Am I?” Pause, staring at her, before looking away to pass his hand through his hair. “Yeah, well, it’s been a long day, and we are all tired enough he saying things we shouldn’t. I have no wish to fight with you, my lady. Life is hard enough.”
As an appeal, it was good one, for it struck a chord deep in her chest. Life was hard for him; see it in the lines etching his tired face. Yet before she could soften too much, Michael announced quietly that it was probably time to call it a night. “I will be heading out again just as soon as I’ve gone out back and washed up.”
Gwen spoke without thinking. “You cannot go now.”
He winced, looking twice as tired. “I have to go. I’ve got a mountain of work that needs doing.”
“In the dark?” She asked, her voice rising with her agitation. “Whatsoever work takes a man out so late at night? Are you a smuggler? Or highwaymen robbing carriages, hiding his ill-gotten goods in the swamp?”
“Ill-gotten goods?” Michael’s scorn may her feel suddenly foolish. “Look around you. If I were a thief, don’t you think I could manage a more luxurious lifestyle?”
It wasn’t what he did that bother her, she realized; he just didn’t want him to leave. “You can’t do this to me,” she cried out frantically. “You just can’t.”
“Dammit,” he exposed, spinning to face her. “Must everything revolve around you? I am bone tired and have a hundred things to do before I can sleep, so pardon me if I can’t quite work up the proper appreciation for your problems. I’ve supplied a roof over your head and food for your belly. I think you should be able to survive the night.”
He saw that he meant to leave, whatever she said or did. Refusing to demean herself further by begging, she threw back her shoulders. “Very well then, but be warned, we shall continue this discussion in the morning.”
He refused to look back at her as he opened the door. “Actually, I won’t be here tomorrow. I have business downriver. Jeffrey will be looking in on you, though, before he heads west to see his family.”
“You are going away?” She asked, chilled. “For how long?”
“A week. Maybe ten days. You will be fine,” he told her gruffly. “Just tell the children to do as you say, or they will answer to me when I return.’
“Remember, our agreement is for a limited time, Michael,” she called out as he stepped through the door, her voice quavering more than she cared for. “I won’t stay indefinitely, so don’t go getting yourself arrested.”
“With my ill-gotten goods?” Looking back over his shoulder, he flashed her a reluctant grand, and Gwen couldn’t halt a faint smile of her own.
Something spark between them, the same magic she’d felt when he kissed her. It was all she could do not to run to him, to fling herself into his arms. It wasn’t virtue that kept her standing where she stood, or any strength of character. It was pride, the sad, deep conviction that he’d merely push her away.
“I will be back as soon as I can,” he said quietly. “And for what it’s worth, I am sorry, too.”
And with that, he closed the door in her face.
Chapter 15
Michael stood on the other side of the door, his hand on the knob battled the urge to go back inside. Part of him might hope to stream things out with Gwen, but a darker part in new he would be wasting his time. She was like a hurricane, liable to veer off course at any given moment; he can never predict what direction she’d take next. Of all the women he’d known in his life, none have ever had such power to leave him so completely bewildered.
His mind reeled from the last scene–her words telling him one thing, her eyes saying another. Those come-hither looks; didn’t she know what they did to a man?
But, of course, she knew. She been manipulating her eager men with her melting eyes and pouting lips for years. If he had any sense, he’d leave now, before s
he had him agreeing to something he lived to regret.
Releasing the nod, took the porch steps within angry stride. It bothered him, how hard it was to leave, however he nearly he’d given into the urge to lift her into his arms. The only thing saving him was the fact that he had the children to think of now, a future he must build for them. Giving in to Gwen could easily destroy all of his plans.
Staring into her seducing eyes, the need to confine in her, to offer her up his hopes like a gift at her feet, had nearly overwhelmed him. Yet, even in the mists of his madness, he he’d known his dreams were too important, and far too fragile, to risk having her laugh in his face.
Oh, she might make a sore like a God of with a single smile, but he learned long ago how easily she could turn and sneer, leaving him to feel as important as the mud the need for toes.
He knew all that, yet knowing didn’t ease the ache in his groin.
Maybe washing up what help cool him down. It was a good thing he was getting away, he decided. In this setting, the two of them in the cabin in this sweltering heat, it was no wonder his lust got the best of him.
Gwen was a beautiful woman–there was no denying it–but the world was filled with many beautiful women. He could find a more generous one, the sort we saw no need to complicate his life further. Hell, he was heading down to New Orleans tomorrow, and if he couldn’t find a willing female somewhere in that city, there truly was no hope for him.
He would wash up now, then head downriver. And the next time he met up with Gwen, he’d be so tired, not the heat, nor even the soft, seductive breeze of the Bayou, could stir him to passion.
Glancing back at the cabin, he knew the sooner he left the better.
***
Gwen stood aware Michael had left her. Part of her still wish to rant and rave and call him unfair, but an equal partner she had not spared thought for any but her own concerns. She had been so busy worrying about what would become of her, she not stop to consider how her thoughtless words might affect the children.
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