‘Bye,’ Zara shouted up the stairs as she headed out the front door. The walk down to the bus stop always gave her some time to think…
‘I wonder if Penelope is staying over at her Saturday night date guy’s house or something, could he have turned into a boyfriend that quickly I wonder? I have barely seen her at all this week. Her life is so glamorous, I would love to go out on dates. I’m pretty sure now that there is nothing going on with her and Charlie, I can’t believe I ever thought that! She’s absolutely gorgeous, I would be very surprised if she is still single. I wonder what the rest of Charlie’s band are like, he’s pretty good looking, but he is not really my type, a bit too wild for me. There are no eligible men at work, it’s all girls or gay guys… probably a good thing actually, no sense in mixing business with pleasure. Rob in work is really good looking and he dresses really well, his boyfriend is amazing looking, I think he is a model. He dropped into work the other day and the two of them were so funny fussing over each other. Having Rob around in work really makes the day go faster, he is always chatting and joking with all of us, he’s great. More delays on the trains… Typical!… now where’s my book’. Zara settled into her seat on the train, the delays did not phase her so much these days.
‘Good afternoon Zara… so you decided to join us!’ Rob was delighted that Zara was a few minutes late, any excuse to start the day off with a joke.
‘Shut up Rob! I was delayed on the train, what a nightmare.’ Zara loved the fun that Rob brought to work.
‘Ooooh that’s a likely story, I bet you stayed in bed late with your new beau…’ Rob was so dramatic.
‘The chance would be a fine thing! I haven’t met any nice men down here yet, and anyway, I have told you a thousand times… all the best looking ones are gay!’ Zara was loving this, in fact most of the gorgeous men she had seen around Clapham, did seem to be gay.
‘Flattery will get you everywhere! Cuppa?’ Rob was delighted with himself, Zara was definitely on form today, and their morning tea or coffee was turning into a daily ritual. Rob had moved back to her department, the day after Zara started, and she was very lucky that he had lost his old desk and was now seated very near her. Rob was certainly not new to London, this made a huge difference to Zara. He had spent a few years at HQ in Manchester when it first opened, before moving to Organicom in London. He was as full of good advice as Penelope was.
‘Lovely, thanks. So, how is Michael?’ Zara was fascinated about Rob’s boyfriend, he was the most beautiful human being she had ever seen, all the women, and even the straight men seemed to fancy him.
‘Still gorgeous, but we had a bit of a tiff this morning, over something silly of course… so I’m officially not speaking to him! That should last until about midday or until he texts me a few times…whichever comes first, and I’ll get back to you after that!’ Rob huffed grumpily about this.
‘How did you two meet?’ Zara decided to try to take his mind off the tiff.
‘Oh, it’s such a romantic story… we were both living in Manchester, and our eyes met across a crowded bar, on Canal Street, and the rest is history. He was straight at the time, but I soon saw to that!’ It seemed that Zara’s plan was working, Rob went from extremely grumpy to all gooey and dreamy within seconds.
‘Oh my god… you turned him gay?!’ Zara nearly fell off her seat, she couldn’t believe this, she thought having all of the gorgeous girls in London to compete with was bad enough, but throw gorgeous guys turning gay into the equation, and she thought it would be impossible for her to find a boyfriend in London!
‘Don’t be silly… he was always gay, he just didn’t REALISE it.’ Rob winked at Zara as he said this, she didn’t know whether to believe him or not, but she really, really wanted to.
‘I see… I must remember not to introduce you to any of my boyfriends… just in case… you have the same effect on them!’ Zara struggled to regain composure.
‘Yes, that might be wise, men find me irresistible.’ Rob was delighted with himself now.
‘Of course they do, who wouldn’t!’ Zara was happy and smiling again, she was sure that the story was not true.
‘It’s such a burden!’ Rob sighed with a cheeky grin.
‘Do you ever get women coming on to you?’ Zara was really interested in this, she was sure it must be the case, she assumed that not everyone has gaydar. She certainly didn’t.
‘Oh yes, all the time, but I explain to them that I am absolutely unavailable, and then I show them a picture of Mikey, and they completely understand. One woman started crying, although she was quite drunk at the time, saying it was such a waste, such a waste! What on earth does that mean?! It is certainly not a waste as far as we are concerned!’ Rob started strutting up and down as he said this.
‘I see what you mean, but you see there is a great shortage of straight guys who are sensitive and dress well etc. etc. etc. so we do tend to get a bit upset when we see yet another complete hottie who is gay, for us it seems like the quota of attractive guys just reduced as we can put another one on the gay side, it can be quite upsetting.’ Zara was trying to explain this clearly, trying not to upset Rob.
‘I do see what you mean now Zara, I know how blessed I am with Mikey, he’s an angel, and I have seen the selection of straight guys, I wouldn’t be tempted from what I have seen around. All “rugby” this and “beer belly” that, they bring the male form into disrepute as far as I’m concerned!’ Rob shrieked.
‘I don’t mainly go for looks, but it’s nice to be with someone who at least dresses well, I mean, it’s good if we kind of match! There’s no point in being all dolled up if your man of the moment is dressed like he’s going for a run.’ Zara was on the fence on this one, looks weren’t that important to her, and anyway… real men play rugby where she came from.
‘Absolooootely! You definitely need to match! There’s just no point otherwise!’ Rob laughed
‘What have we got on today?’ Zara was trying to keep her mind off rugby guys, there was work to do and she couldn’t afford to be distracted, she still had so much to learn in her new job.
‘European conference call at 11 am, you should listen in on that one, and then the weekly team meeting at 4 pm.’ Rob always knew the right answer, Zara didn’t know what she would do without him.
‘OK, I have loads of emails to get through today, that ad needs to go in by lunchtime. It’s going to be a long day.’ Zara was feeling more and more in control as each day passed, she hoped that it would get easier and easier as each week passed.
‘Indeed it is. We need you to do a bit of mystery shopping in the health food shops that stock our line. I have a huge list here of all of them, and you need to get it done by the end of the month, so you can divide it up whatever way you want. I would suggest taking a few days a week and put a few hours aside to do them. I know you have only moved to London recently so I will help you to figure out which ones are near each other.’ Zara hadn’t a clue what Rob was talking about!
‘Oh my god! What the hell is mystery shopping? It can’t be that bad, I mean, shopping is never bad!’ Zara tried to reassure herself.
‘Have you done mystery shopping before?’ Rob picked up on the fact that when Zara didn’t really know what he was talking about, she got a bit flustered.
‘No.’ Zara thought there was no point in hiding it.
‘Well, it’s really easy… all you have to do, is visit the shop and check that they have our line displayed properly, and that the sales assistants know what they are talking about when you ask for our products.’ This was the easiest way to explain this to Zara.
‘Oh, I see… so do I get a list of questions to ask them?’ Relief flooded Zara’s expression, this was indeed something she could handle.
‘In a way, yes, look here is the score sheet, this will make it clearer… but the main thing is to not let them know that you are doing it, you have to pretend to be a customer,’ Rob added.
‘A bit like spying?’ Zara sounded
so excited, this sounded like so much fun.
‘Exactly! Then you give them a score at the end of it, and you will need to feed all the scores into excel and then we can see which shops and restaurants do it best. The top 10% get our esteemed ‘preferred vendor’ status… it’s the Palm d’Or of the organic food industry!’ Rob had adopted his jokey tone again, even though he was actually being serious.
‘Really? Sounds very glamorous,’ Zara added.
‘Oh it is, it’s the highest honour…’ Rob stood up dramatically as he said this.
‘You are soooo funny… now seriously, do the top 10% really get anything to show for their efforts?’ Zara thought it was a joke.
‘Yes, of course! They get a beautiful gold plate… for the wall.’ Rob had a more serious tone now, he stared at her intently.
‘Oh my god… let’s see, it’s soooooooo tacky,’ Zara giggled.
‘I know darling, but they are literally stabbing each other in the back to get their hands on one, you wouldn’t believe the things that go on…’ Rob whispered conspiratorially.
‘Really!? Like what?’ Zara whispered loudly.
‘Well… last year, a very well-known organic juice bar, which will remain nameless of course, stole a plate.’ Rob stole Zara away to the corner where the water cooler was so that they could have a bit of privacy. He looked over each shoulder conspiratorially before he spoke.
‘No!’ Zara shrieked.
‘Yes!’ Rob shrieked back.
‘How did they manage that?’ Zara began to whisper again, as a few people had looked up when she shrieked a minute ago.
‘The manager got me… I mean… ‘a member of staff’ drunk, and decided that heading back to the office here was a great idea, and while under the influence, he took advantage and stole one! He has it bloody well framed in their main juice bar, the bloody cheek of him!’ Rob was speaking really fast.
‘Was he cute?’ Zara raised one eyebrow.
‘Bloody gorgeous!… Oh I mean… so I hear…’ Rob dropped his guard by mistake and then covered his tracks rapidly.
‘I never realised the organic food business was going to be so cut-throat! I thought it would be dominated by peace loving hippie types with names like “June” and “Mona”.’ Zara couldn’t believe this, it seemed like she would have to have her wits about her in this industry, it sounded more like working at a fashion house than an organic food company.
‘Oh not at all! There are a few people like that, they were the ones who started the whole thing off, but once word got out that there was a lot of money to be made it got very competitive, it’s because there are only a few key players, the industry is still relatively new.’ Rob was a constant source of useful information, he seemed to know everything about the job and this industry.
‘I see what you mean.’ It was starting to make sense to Zara, this was London after all a big, scary, city.
‘Believe me… you’ve seen nothing yet! But you’ll like mystery shopping, it gets you out of the office for a while, I would do it myself but this phone is practically attached to my ear, so I can’t afford to be away from my desk for too long.’
‘It sounds like fun, and it’ll help me get to know London a bit better!’ Zara was really pleased about this, she really had to get out there and start finding her way around London.
‘And Victoria will pay all your travel expenses when you are doing it, so you can charge your weekly travel card if you do a lot of mystery shopping in a week.’ Rob added this extra benefit of mystery shopping to the conversation.
‘Great, that’ll save me a bit, if I get that covered for the next few weeks… more money for shoes.’ Zara was delighted, she was counting the days until her first pay day and she was dying to brush up her image, she felt so “country” compared to everyone she met.
‘That’s the spirit!’
Things were looking up for Zara in St Martins Lane WC2.
In EC1 things were slightly less bright and breezy. ‘I can barely stay awake in here today. I think I’ll nip out and buy those shoes I saw in the shop around the corner… no matter how bad things get, shoes seem to solve it all. I am not happy that I got barely any sleep last night, we barely even got a thank you, and that takeaway food last night has really made me bloated today. I’m so glad that I decided to postpone my date with Peter. I feel like crap. I wonder if anyone is going to be in tonight, I fancy just going home and vegging in front of the TV, but if Charlie has the lads over that will not be an option. At least my room is far away from the living room. This day is dragging on and on. I am so bored, now that we have submitted the proposal we have to just wait. At least I can shop at my desk now without anyone knowing it… whipping out my credit card is a bit of a tell-tale sign, but window shopping is fine. I’d love to be able to do a bit of sketching… but that would be too obvious! I might invent a fake meeting and head down to get my nails done… god! I hate my job! But the money is too good to give it up!’ Penelope was getting really restless in her office. She was overtired and it was starting to get to her. There were only so many double decaf skinny lattes a girl could take in a day. There was only one thing to do… shoe shopping. Penelope made her way down to her favourite local designer shoe shop.
‘Ah… new shoes! Excellent, I feel a hundred times better. I wonder if Zara is going to be in tonight. I have barely seen her since we all moved in, I have been so busy in work. I don’t even know that much about her, it would be nice to actually get to know the person I’m living with! I’ll give George a call and see if she wants to come over for a DVD.’ Penelope was still exhausted, but she was pleased with her new purchase. She was just about to dial George’s number when one of the partners dropped into her office.
‘Ah Penelope… I was looking for you earlier…’ Thomas, sounded serious.
‘Thomas! What can I do for you?’ ‘Partner alert, partner alert, I hope he wasn’t looking for me for long.’ Penelope perked up immediately, she didn’t want to give away how tired she was when the partner was there.
‘Come on in to my office, I’d like a quick word…’ Thomas headed out the door and Penelope followed him.
‘Shiiiit!’ Penelope thought to herself as she followed him dutifully.
‘Have a seat,’ Thomas gestured to the seat in front of his desk as he shut the door.
‘Thanks,’ Penelope sighed sheepishly, she did not want to be there.
‘We have been monitoring your progress, and we think that with the right mentor, you could be on track for partner.’ Thomas’ tone was still serious, but he finally managed a smile as he said this to her.
‘Partner, is this guy high or something?!… I don’t even like my job, why the hell would I want to stay here for years to make partner!’ Relief, disbelief and then gradually exhilaration flooded Penelope. It was such a surprise, and such a compliment at the same time, in her exhausted state she didn’t know how to feel about it.
‘Well that’s very flattering Thomas, but…’ Penelope was completely lost for words.
‘No buts Penelope, we have been very, very impressed with your standard of work over the past two years, and we have high hopes for you here…’ Thomas was not taking no for an answer.
‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this!’ Penelope sat back into the seat.
‘… so we have decided to appoint you a Senior Partner Mentor, of course you will have a say in this, but we really feel that Jeremy Eubank would be the very best candidate… he is managing less accounts these days, and he would have more time to give you guidance, would you be agreeable to that?’ This was done and dusted as far as Thomas was concerned.
‘Of course, that’s very kind of you, and I don’t really know Jeremy that well, but I’m sure he is a great candidate for a mentor.’ Penelope knew that she had no choice but to agree.
‘Excellent! I will have him set up an initial meeting with you next week to set the ball rolling.’ Thomas beamed at Penelope.
‘Many thanks.’ Penelope
got up to leave, and she felt like she floated back to her office in a state of pleasant shock and disbelief.
‘I need a drink after that! Partner, partner! I thought he was going to give me a serious talking to for being away from my desk for more than five minutes! It’s certainly very flattering, Mum would explode with pride if she got wind of this… probably best not to mention it for a while. There are practically no women partners at JLM, it would be such an honour. It means pretty much devoting the rest of my life to this place, I will have to give it some serious consideration. It’s all a bit too good to be true.’ Penelope sat in quiet contemplation until she was in a fit state to ring George.
‘George! Hi, it’s me.’ Penelope struggled to get the words out.
‘Penny, how are you?! Any men?’ George was delighted to hear from her best friend.
‘Is that all you ever think about?’ Penelope laughed down the phone.
‘Of course!’ George retorted, as she twirled one of her long brown curls around her finger as she spoke.
‘Well… I haven’t met “the one” yet, if that’s what you mean? I was supposed to be going on a date tonight, but I had to do an all-nighter last night in work, so I cancelled it. I look like hell,’ Penelope sighed.
‘But he could be the one,’ George was so full of energy.
‘I know! But he wouldn’t think I was the one for him in this state!’ Penelope rationalised as usual.
‘Good point, no pretty points with zero sleep!’ George agreed.
‘Do you fancy coming over for a DVD, a girlie night in? I have this new housemate, and I literally haven’t seen her since we all moved in together, I’ll see if she wants to join us. She is completely new to London and I think it’s all a bit much for her.’ Penelope was praying that George was up for a night in.
‘I have a quick drinks thing after work, but I’ll pop over afterwards… at about eight, maybe a bit tipsy… is that ok?’ George was well up for a catch up.
‘Of course, I will have the takeaway menus ready. And I’ve loads to tell you.’ Penelope was relieved.
One? Page 7
