Zara padded down to the bathroom, but was surprised to meet Penelope on the way.
‘Good morning Zara!’ Penelope was glowing.
‘Penelope! You gave me a fright there, I wasn’t expecting anyone to be in the bathroom, have you got the day off?’ Zara was wide awake now.
‘No, no, just decided to take it easy today, being Friday and all that…’ Penelope breezed past Zara.
‘Ok, well let me know when you are finished.’ Zara didn’t know what to do with herself now, she had never had to wait for the bathroom before. Penelope was usually long gone by the time Zara got up.
‘Will do,’ Penelope grinned at her.
‘What’s with her, she’s like on another planet… totally glowing. Must be a man, that’s the only explanation. I hope she’s not too long; I need to leave here by quarter to eight. The queue to buy tickets is really long any later than that.’ Zara thought to herself.
‘Fi-i-nished Zara, all yours…’ Penelope called up to Zara.
‘Thanks.’
‘Now, what to wear, let’s have a look at the weather… it could rain, a bit cold, hmm, shirt and sleeveless jumper… Right time to go.’ This was a daily dilemma for Zara, there wasn’t really a dress code in work, and that made it actually more difficult to make the decision.
‘I’m leaving now too, do you want to walk down to the Tube together?’ Penelope was happy to have some company on the way down to the Tube.
‘Oh, well em, I get the bus and train instead but I think I go the same way…’ Zara stuttered. She still hadn’t braved the Tube.
‘But I thought you worked by Embankment?…’ Penelope raised one eyebrow.
‘Yes, I do, so…’ Zara felt a bit uncomfortable, she didn’t want to look like an idiot. There was only one thing to do.
‘The Northern line goes right to Embankment and Charing Cross, but they are next door to each other, it only takes about twenty minutes, the bus and train must take you ages…’ Penelope was trying to encourage Zara to get the Tube, she couldn’t believe that she still hadn’t used it.
‘Well it does take quite a while actually, I’m only finding my feet in London, so I was going to try a few new ways to get into work…’ Zara realised that this was a great opportunity to get the Tube with someone who knew the way.
‘Well, look no further, come down to the Tube with me and you’ll see.’ Penelope smiled at Zara.
‘Ok, thanks.’ ‘Oh my god, she must think I am such an idiot, I’m really scared of the Tube, I can’t let her know that though.’ Zara tried to hide her panic as they both headed down Abbeville Road towards Clapham South.
‘Pen, I just need to buy a ticket…’ Once they got to the station, Penelope swiped her oyster card and marched straight through the barriers.
‘Do you not have a travel card?’ Penelope called over the barrier to Zara.
‘What do you mean?’ Zara sounded confused.
‘You can get them weekly, monthly or annually, and you just swipe it every time you travel, it works out much cheaper that way.’ Penelope waved her card at Zara.
‘I didn’t know about that, what should I ask for?’ Zara was pleased at this development, this would save her ages each day.
‘Weekly, zone one and two.’ Penelope called back to her.
‘Right, thanks.’ ‘I remember Rob talking about travel cards when he was talking about mystery shopping, now I finally know what he meant. Penelope must think I’m such an idiot! Oh no! escalators, I feel like I’m going to be sick, it’s so high up… ah!’ Zara was faced with the highest escalators that she had ever seen, her tummy did a little flip as she looked down.
‘Looks like we are going to have to squeeze in here…’ What Penelope was suggesting sounded ludicrous to Zara, the Tube was so full, there was no way they could squeeze into that space.
‘What! Is she mad! I would never fit in there … too late, she’s grabbed me… I swear to god I have never been this close to a bunch of strangers, and I hope that’s someone’s umbrella digging into my back.’ Zara plastered a fake smile onto her face, she was horrified at this new experience. This was actually worse than she had imagined it.
‘Right so, I need to go to Blackfriars, so I’ll be getting out at Embankment too, but I go on another line then, will you find your way from Embankment?’ Penelope was completely calm, this was having a calming effect on Zara.
‘I have my A to Z with me…’ Zara still looked a little worried.
‘Where do you usually get off?’ Penelope asked.
‘Charing Cross.’
‘Well Charing Cross is beside embankment, you just head straight out of the Tube and then you come to Charing Cross.’
‘Oh, I had no idea, they look so far away on the Tube map.’ Zara was surprised to hear this.
‘That’s not representative of where things really are!’ Penelope chuckled.
‘Oh, ok.’ ‘God my nerves are in tatters down here, and I’m so hot, it seems to be going about a hundred miles an hour!’ Zara was still not thrilled with the idea of being on the Tube. She felt like the journey would never end, but in no time they were at Embankment.
‘Right here we are… finally.’ Penelope grabbed Zara gently by the arm to make sure she got out ok.
‘What a relief, I couldn’t have stuck it much longer’ ‘Cool, thanks for showing me the way.’ Zara was relieved to be out of there.
‘No problem, see you later. Don’t forget we have all the potential housemates coming tomorrow.’
‘How could I! Thanks again Pen.’ Zara felt like running towards the exit, she felt so claustrophobic.
‘Shiiiiiiiiiiiit, how the hell do you get out of here? Ok follow the crowd, yes! A “Way Out” sign. I must look like such a tourist! Finally, fresh air! Zara gasped as she reached street level. My bag nearly got caught in the ticket barrier, what a nightmare… now what time is it?… oh, it’s only twenty-five past eight… I am soooooo early, this is hilarious. I may as well go on in anyway.’ Zara felt completely lost when she got outside of Embankment station, but she consulted her A to Z and in no time at all she was on her way to work.
‘Hello Zara, you’re in early,’ Victoria greeted Zara as she came in.
‘Hello Victoria, loads to do, you know the way it is.’ Zara was delighted with herself.
‘Indeed, indeed I do.’ Victoria beamed at her.
‘Excellent, already impressing the boss, that’s made my day. I’ll go and email the girls, pay day today too, yippeeeeee!’ Zara just knew that today was going to be a great day.
‘Morning Rob!’
‘Hello fluffy bunny, how are you on this lovely pay-… I mean Fri-day…?’ Rob flounced in.
‘Fabulous! You?’ Zara replied
‘Glowing! You?’ Rob grinned back at her.
‘Ecstatic! You?’ Zara shot back.
‘Oh here, this could go on all day, let’s just say we are both fabulous and yippee it’s Friday and woo hoo it’s pay day, drinkies tonight after work?’ Rob announced this dramatically.
‘Definitely, it’s even better for me, it’s my first official pay day.’ Zara beamed at him.
‘Excellent, let’s see if the whole gang are coming out.’ Rob did the rounds to rally the troops for after work.
‘This day is flying by, everyone is in great form. It seems like they’ve all forgotten about the potential redundancies, I suppose there is nothing we can do about it until they make another announcement. Oh hello, what’s this, an email from Matt, I had almost totally forgotten about him. I always wonder whether we would have stayed together if I hadn’t had to move to London, I wonder if he’s seeing anyone… hmm.’ Zara was having the best day in work so far, in no time at all it was approaching 5 pm.
‘Come on Zara! It’s your first pay day, you have to have a B52, it would be rude not to, it’s Happy Hour!’ Rob was tempting Zara with a B52.
‘Go on then, just the one! Yum! Tastes like chocolate… heaven.’ Zara knocked back the sickly sw
eet shot in one go, she felt like she was in heaven.
‘Now, do you see what you have been missing?…’ Rob grinned at her
‘Totally. Another round?’ Zara was gone to the bar in a flash.
‘Yay!’ Rob clapped his hands.
‘How many have we had now?’ A few more rounds later and Zara was starting to feel the effect of all of the alcohol.
‘No idea, loads, lost count, I feel so drunk.’ Rob slurred.
‘Me too, nearly time to go home.’ Zara struggled to speak.
‘Definitely. Are you heading back to Charing Cross?’ Rob asked.
‘Yes, well Embankment actually…’ Zara was trying to convince herself as she said this.
‘So you have lost your fear, finally took the plunge… underground?’ Rob enquired.
‘Well, not so much jumped but was pushed… marched down to the Tube station by my housemate…’ Zara explained.
‘The Princess?’ Rob was on the edge of his seat, he loved a bit of bitching!
‘The very one, and it is so much quicker on the Tube, I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually.’ Zara was seriously regretting labelling Penelope so quickly. Sure… she was very different to anyone Zara had ever met, but that didn’t make her a bad person. The label “Princess” was sticking a bit too much.
‘Oh you don’t have to tell me love, I know, it zips around London in no time, it’s the only way to get away from the traffic.’ Rob smiled at Zara.
‘Right, let’s go, before we pass out.’ Zara was glad to be a bit tipsy, it helped her nerves about getting the Tube.
‘Hmm, the Tube is not so bad when you’re drunk, it’s not as packed now either. Oh, oh, am I at my station already? That was quick. I hope I can remember my way back home…
‘… Ah finally bed… lovely… I love London…’ Zara dozed off with a warm fuzzy feeling about London, finally… she was very happy with her new life.
Chapter 10
Quest for the Fourth Quarter
‘Oh my head, what was I thinking?!… ah, it’s too bright, water, I need water… uh, I think I’m going to be sick. That is the last time I have five B52s in a row, I had nothing to eat either, no wonder I feel so rotten. I have to be human again by eleven, all the potential housemates are starting to come then.’ Zara struggled out of bed and made her way down to the kitchen.
‘Morning Zara, bloody hell, what happened to you?’ Charlie barely recognised her.
‘Oh, hi Charlie… a combination of high spirits, lack of sense and multiple B52s…’
‘Nasty!’
‘I know, I’ll be ok in a while, I don’t want to be in bits when the housemates start coming.’ Zara was bracing herself for the impending toast.
‘Oh great, you’re both up… I have made a list of the kind of questions that we should ask the people to suss them out, you know, make sure we get the same info from everyone… I printed these out in work, so cross off any of the questions you think are ridiculous…’ Penelope had a list in her hand, ready for the potential housemates.
‘She is so organised, it’s unbelievable…’ Zara thought to herself.
‘Thanks Pen, this will be a great help.’
‘More of an aide-memoire, we are going to see so many of them, we’ll need some way of remembering who’s who.’ Penelope handed them a list.
‘God, she’s brilliant, how does she even think of these things, I probably would have just picked the first one that looked ok… I want to be like her when I grow up… but for now, I just want to feel human again.’ Zara stared down at her toast, trying to muster the courage to lift it up and to put it into her mouth.
‘Charlie, this is the plan… if you wouldn’t mind giving the first few the quick tour, and then bring them back to the living room for… well… question time really. I will do the next few tours, and by the look of poor Zara, the couch is the only place for her.’ Penelope smiled over at Zara.
‘Ok that’s cool’ Zara was relieved as she sat staring at her untouched toast.
Eleven o’clock came around really quickly and Zara had managed to look, but not feel, human again.
‘Eleven o’clock, everyone ready?’ Penelope was armed with her questions and ready to go.
‘Yep,’ Zara sighed.
‘Yep, pen loaded and ready for battle,’ Charlie laughed gripping his pen.
‘Here’s the first one now, let’s see, should be Angelica, and says here Swedish?’ Penelope looked over at Charlie.
‘Yep, she’s first.’ He nodded back at her.
‘She better not be that pole dancer!’ Penelope looked very stern.
‘Relax, no pole dancers… Pen, Jesus, take a chill pill.’ Charlie was secretly hoping that she wasn’t the pole dancer, otherwise he would be in trouble!
‘Hello, I’m Penelope, this is Charlie, he’ll just give you a quick tour… is that alright?’ Penelope let the first girl in.
‘Oh, yes thanks, nice to meet you…’ Angelica, a tall blonde Swedish girl, gave Penelope a firm handshake and a warm smile.
‘Ok, Zara, the first one is here, a girl, Swedish, she looks nice… get your questions ready.’ Penelope joined Zara in the living room as Charlie showed Angelica around.
After a quick tour Charlie brought Angelica into the living room.
‘Angelica, this is Zara… now we just have a few questions to ask you… Do you smoke?’ Penelope gazed over at Angelica as she asked the first question.
‘No,’ Angelica answered enthusiastically.
‘Have any pets, or strange hobbies we should know about?’ Penelope continued.
‘No pets, and no odd hobbies, I quite like socialising and I do yoga and go to the gym a lot, I work for a women’s magazine…’ Angelica went on for about twenty minutes trying to sell herself to the housemates.
‘Well, what do we think of her?’ Once Angelica had left, Penelope turned to the other two.
‘Bloody gorgeous!, I mean, she seemed … nice…’ Charlie tried, and failed, to hide his enthusiasm.
‘I’ll bet you do, but seriously, looks aside, I liked her, I’d say she’d fit in well.’ Penelope agreed that she was a good candidate.
‘Me too, but anyway we have loads more to see, I’m just trying to stay awake here.’ Zara added, the pale green colour had completely faded from her face, and she was starting to look a bit more alive.
‘Three girls in one house might be a bit much though, do you not think we should go for another guy Charlie?’ Penelope was trying to be sensible about it.
‘Nah, the more girls the better…’ Charlie grinned at the two of them.
‘Oh my god! Is that all you ever think about?’ Penelope gasped.
‘I’m a bloke, it’s what we do!’ Charlie assured her.
‘Ok, calm down, the next one is here… this should be Gerard?’ Penelope headed down to open the front door. ‘Oh no, it’s a girl, she must be… Louise?’ Penelope got a little flustered as she realised the list was now out of order if this person was early, and the guy who was supposed to be next was a little late.
‘Yep, looks like we’ll have to do these two together… we’ll wait for Gerard to arrive and Charlie you take her on the tour, if he gets here while she’s still here, we’ll do the questions with him first, ok?’ It was getting a bit complicated with different people arriving at the wrong times.
‘Good idea. God Penelope, you are so efficient, were you always like that?’ Zara was genuinely impressed.
‘More or less, the job that I do at the moment demands that I’m super organised all the time.’ Penelope shuddered internally at the thought of work. ‘I’ve done this searching for housemates thing a few times before, and it really pays to have notes after they are gone, and a plan before they arrive.’ Penelope was chatting away as she crossed the names off her list.
‘That’s him now, what was his name again…? Gerard?’ Penelope checked her list of names and ticked him off.
‘So… tell us a bit about yourself…’ Zara
began…
‘Well, I’m the lead singer in this new band and…’ Gerard began to tell the girls all about himself and his band.
‘Oh no! Not another one! I couldn’t cope with living with two Charlies… between the two of them they’d turn this place into a groupie den. I remember what it was like when we were all in Uni.’ Penelope thought it would be a bad idea to have two musicians in the house.
‘He’s gorgeous, even in my weakened state I can see that… actually no! Maybe I’m still a bit drunk from last night… beer goggles…’ Zara had other ideas.
‘… and I’m a semi-professional snow boarder, so for a month or two in the winter…’
‘Ok, I changed my mind back now, drunk or not, that body is probably amazing if he’s a snow boarder…’ Zara had perked up.
‘No, I don’t have any pets at all…’ Gerard continued.
‘Ok, Gerard, we’ll give you a call later if we shortlist you… if you don’t hear from us by 6 pm, then you probably haven’t made the list, ok?’ Penelope was trying to be rational, but he was absolutely gorgeous, she was really struggling.
‘OK, great, I have about five places to see today, I’ll call you if I choose one of them.’ Gerard gave them a winning smile and then left them to it.
‘Hi Louise this is Zara, and we all just moved in here a few weeks ago… tell us a bit about yourself…’
… The interviews went on and on and on, for the rest of the morning.
‘Thank god he thought of giving us a break for lunch, how are you feeling there Zara… still alive?’ Penelope was getting irritable. She felt like she had had the same conversation nine times already today, and she was sick of trying to suss people out.
‘Just about… how many more are there? This is like the longest day of my life, and it’s really tiring… trying to suss people out, and smile all the time… and to be quite honest I’m trying my best to keep my breakfast down.’ Zara smiled weakly.
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