A Beginner's Guide To Saying I Do: A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy

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A Beginner's Guide To Saying I Do: A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy Page 29

by Jennifer Joyce


  ‘Of course it is. I married Rory, foolishly or otherwise. How can you ever forgive me for that?’

  ‘I didn’t fight for you. I should have fought for you. Can you forgive me?’

  ‘I told you it was complicated.’

  ‘Not the way I see it.’ Aidan’s eyes made it as far as Trina’s shoulder. ‘I love you, Trina. Always have.’

  Trina gave a squeak of frustration. ‘I love you too, but it isn’t that simple. I’m married to Rory. I only left him a few days ago. I don’t want to go rushing into another relationship and ruin everything all over again.’ Trina knew that there would be no going back from that. If they went for it and it didn’t work out, what then?

  ‘Then let’s not rush anything.’ Aidan rose from the bench. ‘We missed out on that first date – why don’t we go on it now?’

  ‘You want us to go on a date? Now?’

  ‘I hear there’s a party nearby.’ Aidan held out his hand. ‘Want to be my date?’

  Trina looked at his hand. Could it really be as easy as that? What if it didn’t work out, no matter how slowly they took things? What if their already bruised friendship was battered beyond repair?

  But what if Trina missed out on the opportunity of being happy with the man she loved?

  ‘Yes.’ Swallowing her fear, Trina clasped the hand and allowed Aidan to pull her to her feet. ‘I would love to be your date.’

  Fifty

  Ruth

  The party was in full swing, with alcohol encouraging everyone to have a go at the karaoke. I’d only ever witnessed Keith Barry in action once before, but tacky seemed to be his thing, along with innuendo. He was wearing tight leather trousers and a shiny gold T-shirt with a hideously scooped neckline that revealed his mane of golden chest hair. He was in his element as my female guests took their turn to sing, salivating and thrusting and being a general sleaze. I was worried I’d made the wrong decision in booking the man, that the karaoke session was uncomfortable rather than fun. But Keith Barry got more than he bargained for when Mary took her turn.

  ‘Hello, gorgeous.’ Keith Barry slung his arm around my yoga pal and stooped so they were a similar height. ‘Give us a kiss, foxy lady. I love an older woman.’ Keith Barry winked at his audience, but the joke was about to be on him.

  ‘Come here then, big boy.’ Mary popped her dentures into the palm of one hand before grasping Keith’s T-shirt with the other and pulling him towards her puckered lips.

  ‘Oh my God!’ Keith gasped for air when Mary finally released him, swiping a hand across his mouth. ‘She slipped in the tongue and everything!’

  ‘There’s plenty more where that came, my dear.’ Mary popped her teeth back into her mouth and gave Keith a pat on the bottom. ‘Now, am I singing or not?’

  ‘You wanted your reception to be fun, and that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.’ Erin was still clutching her stomach as Hot Chocolate’s ‘You Sexy Thing’ began to play, with Mary dedicating her performance to Keith Barry.

  ‘Even funnier than Theo trying to do an Irish jig to B*Witched?’

  ‘Oh, now that you mention it …’ Erin and I giggled at the memory.

  ‘What did Richard think of your performance?’

  ‘He thought it was totally hot, obviously.’

  ‘So he hasn’t changed his mind about you moving in with him?’

  Erin had told me her news while we’d reapplied our lippie in the loos earlier. She hadn’t wanted to spill it during my wedding reception but, being her best friend, I knew she had some news – big and momentous – and I’d dragged it out of her, kicking and screaming. The news was wonderful and was the icing on an already very delicious cake.

  ‘He’d better not have. We just told LuLu and Ralph and they’re really excited.’ Richard’s children were currently attacking the sweet station. It was a good job Amanda wasn’t present to witness the sugar-loading. ‘LuLu wants to have a pyjama party on the night I move in. Do you think I should invite Amanda?’

  I pulled a face. ‘Maybe not. How do you think she’ll take the news?’

  Erin shrugged. ‘Who knows? But Richard’s going to tell her when he drops the kids back tomorrow, so she’ll have plenty of warning. He’s going to make sure he points out that he’s letting her know out of courtesy, not asking for permission.’

  ‘Good on him.’ It was about time Richard took control of his own life. Amanda’s reign was over. ‘Are you having a go?’ I nodded towards the karaoke area, where Mary was gyrating at Keith Barry. He’d cowered in a corner but that didn’t stop Mary.

  ‘Absolutely. I’ve put mine and Richard’s name down for a duet. We’re singing “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. He doesn’t know it yet, though.’ Erin eyed the crowd. ‘I’d better go and find him. Maybe he’s got wind of my plans and he’s hiding.’ Narrowing her eyes, Erin set off in search of her unwitting karaoke buddy.

  Mary was still enjoying being the centre of attention, jiggling her bosom in a horrified Keith Barry’s face.

  ‘Ruth, love.’ Billy’s stepmother, Pearl, tapped me on the arm. ‘We’re going to have to head off now. We’ve got a long drive back home.’ Pearl pulled me into a lavender-scented hug. ‘We’re so happy for you. Your young man seems like a smashing fella.’ Pearl released me, a smile playing at her lips. ‘We always thought you’d end up with our Billy, you know.’

  ‘Really?’ I felt myself blushing, remembering the ill-judged one-night stand before I got together with Jared.

  ‘Oh, yes. But I can see how much you love your Jared, and it looks like Billy has found himself a nice girl.’

  ‘Yes, they’re really well suited.’ I was glad Billy had found Casey. It not only made Billy happy, but it also eased my guilt at breaking his heart.

  ‘We haven’t met her properly yet – you know what our Billy’s like – but he’s mentioned her a few times and Brian just caught them snogging like a couple of teenagers out in the yard.’ Pearl giggled. ‘Anyway, we’d better be off. Brian doesn’t like driving when it’s too dark. Congratulations again. I hope you’ll have a lifetime of happiness together.’

  ‘Thanks, Pearl.’ I gave her another hug. ‘I’ll just go and get your coats.’

  I weaved my way through the throng of guests, making my way to the walk-in cupboard next to the kitchen. I jumped back in shock when, amongst the coats, I discovered Theo. With my cousin Tori.

  ‘Excuse me!’ Tori extracted her tongue from Theo’s mouth and glared at me. ‘Ever heard of a little thing called privacy?’

  Ever heard of a little thing called class? Obviously not, judging by the way Tori’s skirt had ridden up to her hips. Lovely. Just lovely.

  I was fuming with Theo, but I didn’t have the time or head space to think about how I was going to break this to Quinn just yet. I knew Theo couldn’t be trusted, but I hadn’t expected to see the evidence quite so graphically – and on my wedding day, the pig.

  ‘I’ll just take these and leave you to it.’ Grabbing Pearl and Brian’s coats, I bolted from the cupboard, colliding with Casey in my haste. I almost knocked her to the ground and I reached out to steady her. ‘I’m so sorry. I was in a rush. Are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ Casey barely acknowledged me as she scanned the restaurant. ‘You haven’t seen Theo, have you?’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘He’s in there getting busy with my cousin.’ I nodded towards the cupboard.

  ‘He’s what?’ Stalking past me, Casey yanked open the cupboard door, yelping at the sight that greeted her. ‘Theo! What the hell?’

  ‘Hello! A little privacy, please?’ Tori yanked her skirt back into place, her face twisted at the inconvenience of it all. She attempted to stride out of the cupboard with her head held high, but Casey grasped her by the arm.

  ‘Did you know we live together?’

  Tori looked down at her arm, where it appeared Casey had a pretty tight grip. She unpeeled Casey’s fingers one by one. ‘Honey, I couldn’t care less who you live with.�
��

  ‘We do not live together, Case.’ Theo emerged from the cupboard without having the decency to look sheepish. ‘Not like that. We’re housemates, nothing more.’ He raked his fingers through his hair, leaving it in little peaks. ‘I knew this would happen. Just because we’ve slept together a few times doesn’t mean we’re a couple.’

  ‘Wait a minute.’ I held up a hand. ‘I thought you and Billy were together.’ I looked at Casey, who screwed up her face. ‘And I thought Theo was fooling around with Quinn.’

  ‘I wish,’ Theo laughed. ‘Oof!’ He doubled over as Casey elbowed him in the gut.

  ‘No offence, Ruth, but Billy really isn’t my type.’

  ‘Then who was Billy snogging in the yard?’ Sniffing the scent of gossip, I scuttled out to the little yard at the back of the restaurant. And there they were, entangled against the wall, exactly as Pearl had described. Now I really was confused.

  ‘I thought you were seeing Theo?’

  Quinn and Billy broke apart, eyes wide and lips pressed together (which they hadn’t been a moment ago, believe me).

  Quinn gave a little shrug. ‘I may have told a teeny fib.’ Her gaze dropped to the concrete flagstones of the yard.

  ‘So you’re not seeing Theo at all. You’ve been seeing Billy all this time?’ It was such a relief, actually, despite the fibs. Theo would have discarded Quinn after a few tumbles beneath the sheets – you only had to look at Casey right at that very second to realise that – and Quinn wasn’t the sort of girl who brushed herself off easily after a rejection.

  ‘That’s why you’ve been hanging around at Billy and Theo’s all the time!’ It all made sense. Perfect, beautiful sense.

  ‘Sort of.’ Quinn shrugged again. ‘But it was mostly because we were rehearsing with Jared. When you started asking questions, I couldn’t tell you the truth or it would have ruined your surprise. When you made the assumption that I’d fallen for Theo’s charms, I let you think that.’

  ‘You lied to me too.’ I jabbed a finger towards Billy, who had a look of pure bliss on his face. It was quite nice to see, but I wasn’t going to let him get away with telling me porkies that easily.

  ‘I didn’t actually lie,’ Billy said. ‘You made assumptions. Again. And I let you. I couldn’t tell you that I liked Quinn, could I? She’s way out of my league.’

  ‘Apparently not,’ I said as Quinn turned to Billy and snaked her arms around him.

  ‘Definitely not.’

  ‘But why didn’t you tell me you liked Billy?’ I asked Quinn. It would have been a lot simpler all round, and I would have been spared the icky thought of Quinn and Theo getting it on.

  ‘Because … well, you know …’

  I didn’t, actually. That’s why I was asking.

  ‘You and Billy ... I didn’t know how you’d feel about me liking someone you’d … you know.’

  I did know this time, but that subject was best left well alone. It was my wedding day, after all.

  ‘Don’t be daft! That’s ancient history. We’ve all forgotten about that.’ At least I hoped we had.

  ‘So you’re not angry?’ Quinn, bless her, looked all wide-eyed and Bambi-like. She seriously thought I’d have a problem with it.

  ‘Not in the slightest. I’m happy for you. For you both.’

  I backed into the restaurant as they started kissing again. I wasn’t quite ready to see that yet. Today had been a bit of a shock on all accounts. I needed a bit of a sit-down and something sweet. Perhaps I’d benefit from a stroll along to the sweet station …

  ‘There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you.’ Mum grasped my hand and started to tug me back into the throng before I’d even had the chance to sniff the cakes. ‘It’s time for your first dance.’

  ‘But I have to give these to Pearl and Brian.’ Their coats were still draped over my arm. I’d forgotten about them in all the drama. Poor Brian and Pearl.

  ‘I’ll do that.’ Mum took the coats and gave me a push towards Jared, who was waiting alone in the middle of the dance floor.

  ‘Ah, here she is. I was beginning to think she’d done a runner with the best man.’ Keith Barry winked at Jared. ‘Ladies and gentleman, please welcome the new Mr and Mrs Williams to the dance floor.’

  I joined Jared, whispering my apologies. I had so much to tell him later: Erin and Richard deciding to move in together, plus the whole Theo/Casey/Billy/Quinn saga. I’d also clocked Trina and Aidan holding hands at the edge of the dance floor as Mum catapulted me towards Jared. The gossip was bubbling around inside me, ready to burst. But now was not the time. Jared took me into his arms, and our first dance song started. My head, already resting on Jared’s shoulder, snapped up.

  This was not our song.

  ‘I changed it,’ Jared whispered.

  Jared was full of surprises today – everybody was, it seemed. We were supposed to be sharing our first dance to Etta James’s ‘At Last’, a song we’d agonised over for hours. Our taste in music differed vastly, and ‘At Last’ had been our first lesson in compromise. Apparently it was important in a marriage.

  Instead, the intro of the Spice Girls’ ‘2 Become 1’ filled the restaurant.

  ‘I really do love you.’

  ‘I really love you too.’ Jared kissed the top of my head and we began to sway to the music. Our loved ones surrounded us: Mum and Dad, Linda and Bob, our siblings and their children, our best friends. Even Aunty Pat, I suppose. They were all gathered to share this truly wonderful day with us and I couldn’t have been happier.

  Acknowledgements

  With thanks, as always, to my family for their support and encouragement. Andrew, I’m really sorry but there are STILL no chainsaws in my books. I will try harder.

  Thank you to Chris, Rianne and Isobel, who don’t seem to mind one bit when I disappear to my desk to tell my stories. I’m trying not to read too much into that. Also to Luna, who keeps me company when I work downstairs. She’s a dog and won’t be able to read this, but still …

  Massive thanks to Jane Hammett for her editing skills. Thanks also to Ruth Durbridge.

  Thank you to the SCWG for all their book nerdiness and writing advice. Also to the book community on Twitter and Facebook who share their love of books daily. Special thanks to all the bloggers who have taken part in any of my blog tours and helped spread the word. Also thank you to everyone who has reviewed my books – reviews really do help! You’re all ace.

  Finally, the most humongous thanks to the readers. I still can’t believe people are reading my stories. You’ve made this writer very, very happy.

  If you’d like to keep up to date with Jennifer Joyce’s new releases, plus receive exclusive content, short stories and giveaways, head over to www.jenniferjoycewrites.co.uk and subscribe to her newsletter!

  A Beginner’s Guide To Saying I Do

  Copyright © 2017 Jennifer Joyce

  All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form without the express written permission of the copyright owner.

  This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

 

 

 


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