“Mommy just has to finish a few e-mails. Maybe you can help?”
I sat down with her in front of the computer and finished the e-mails. When I hit send, I spun my computer chair around. Abby squealed.
“We’re going to go out into the real world tomorrow, Abby. Hopefully we’re both ready for it, hm?”
A couple minutes later Max returned with a few bags of groceries. He kissed us both, then carried the bags into the kitchen.
“I can put those away for you.” I started to peek in one of the bags.
“Nope. No, you don’t.” He pushed my hand away.
“What?” I grinned.
“It’s a surprise, I told you.”
“I don’t think you stated that.”
“It was implied.”
“Am I forgetting an anniversary or something?”
“Abby is sleeping almost all night now.” He glanced over at me and winked.
“Oh.” I grinned. “I see.”
“Yes, it would be nice to have a romantic evening. Don’t you think?”
“We’ve had our moments.”
“When?” He shooed me out of the kitchen.
“Well, there was that time in the laundry room.”
“That doesn’t count. We didn’t get to finish.”
“Okay, but it would have been great.”
“Yes, it would have.”
“How about the time in the shower?”
“I slipped and bruised my elbow.”
“But we did finish.”
“That definitely doesn’t count.” He laughed. “I could have drowned.”
“Okay, okay. I see what you’re saying. It would be nice not to have to rush or consider a trip to the ER.”
“Yes, it would.” He stepped back into the kitchen to put the groceries away.
I was excited by the idea of Max and me having a romantic night, until I realized what that meant. He was going to take his time and really pay attention to my body. My saggy, floppy, unshaven body. I scrunched up my nose at the thought.
“Maybe we should wait until tomorrow, Max.”
“Tonight!”
“But I need some time—”
“Tonight!” He stepped out of the kitchen and took Abby from me. “Go take a nap. I want you well rested.”
“Excuse me?” I laughed.
“There was that time on the couch.” He narrowed his eyes. “That involved snoring.”
“Oh yeah, that definitely didn’t count.”
“No, it certainly didn’t. There are some things that can really crush a guy’s ego.”
“I imagine that’s one of those things.”
“Indeed it is.” He quirked a brow. “So off to bed with you.”
“Alright. I sent those e-mails, by the way.”
“Thanks. I’ll check for replies in a little while. But first, Abby and I are going to do some tummy time. Aren’t we, Abby?”
I drank in the sight of Max tickling our daughter. I had no idea that on the day I married him, I didn’t love him as much as I could. It wasn’t until I saw him with our child that I learned I could love him even more.
Instead of sleeping, I decided to do some grooming and cleansing.
I turned the shower on and broke out my razor. Then I took a look at the situation.
“Wow. That’s going to take a while.”
An hour later I had everything as neat as it was going to get.
Then I noticed my stomach.
Sure, I’d looked at it a few times since having the baby, but I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t obsess over it, so I never looked too close. Now, I couldn’t stop staring at the marks that sprawled across my stomach.
I had some stretch marks even before I’d gotten pregnant, but now I had plenty more. To me, they looked like a jagged slice across my skin. Even worse were the cottage-cheese puckers that wiggled when I poked them.
All of the hard work I’d done before getting pregnant seemed to be wasted, as there was no way my body would ever look the same.
I tried not to cry as I ran my fingertips over the mottled skin. How was Max ever going to be in a romantic mood when this was what he had to gaze at?
I remembered the way he would kiss along my stomach. He always took so much time making me feel special. Now he would be kissing wobbly damaged skin—if he even wanted to kiss me like that at all.
I threw my clothes back on and collapsed on the bed. Just as I closed my eyes I heard a knock on the door.
“Sammy? Are you up yet?”
I forced my eyes opened and stifled a yawn. “Yes, I’m up.”
He opened the door. “What exactly did you say in the e-mails that you sent?”
“Hm? Just the usual stuff.”
“Like what?” He carried Abby over to the crib, as she was sound asleep.
“I don’t know. I thanked them for their interest and told them I’d have a new book out soon, and it might be better to postpone another tour until then. What else would I write?”
“I received a rather odd reply. They were wondering what lotions and oils had to do with anything? I think you may have given them the wrong idea about the kind of books you’re writing, Sammy.”
“What?” I rubbed my eyes and stood up from the bed. “What are you talking about?”
“Go look for yourself. I can’t make sense of it.”
Chapter 8
I headed to the computer and took a look at the e-mails. Just as Max had said, the e-mail questioned me about oils and lotions. I looked to see what e-mail I’d sent and made a horrible discovery.
I’d sent the e-mail about the Mommy and Me massage class to the person asking about the book tour, and the information about the book tour to the Mommy and Me class.
I groaned and smacked my forehead. “The one thing you asked me to do and I messed it up. I sent the e-mails to the wrong people.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Max rubbed my shoulders. “It’ll be easy enough to straighten out. These things are bound to happen now and then.”
“You’re just being nice, aren’t you?” I looked up at him. “You’ve never made a mistake like that, have you?”
“Sammy, stop being so hard on yourself. You’ve got a lot more on your mind now than you used to. Just send a quick e-mail to explain, and you can talk to the Mommy and Me instructor when you get there.”
“You’re right, it’s not a big deal.”
I sighed and typed out an e-mail explaining my error. I still felt ridiculous for making such a stupid mistake, but I decided to let it go. I didn’t want to fall back into the habit of being stressed out about everything.
Hopefully the massage class would help me to relax and return to a more self-loving mindset.
When Abby woke from her nap, I changed her into a bright purple outfit that was comfortable enough for her to move in and cute enough for me to show her off.
After she ate, I grabbed the diaper bag and headed out the door.
As always I triple-checked the buckles on her car seat. Then I checked to be sure the seat belt was fastened correctly. Then I checked her buckles again. Once I was sure she was as safe as she could be, I moved to the driver’s seat.
The class was about a half hour away. It was a long way to go, but worth it for the unique experience—at least I hoped it would be.
I parked behind a small church and got Abby out of the car.
With the diaper bag over one arm and Abby in the other, I entered the church. Right in the middle of the floor was a circle of mothers and babies. I noticed something a little strange. Each of the babies was on a towel spread out in front of the mother.
“Hi, hello, welcome.” A woman clapped her hands as she walked toward me. “And who might you be?”
“My name is Samantha and this is Abby.”
“Oh, Samantha, the writer.” She nodded.
“I’m so sorry about that, I got the e-mails mixed up. The e-mail I sent you was meant for someone else—it’s a funny stor
y, really.”
“As funny as it may be, you must understand that being famous doesn’t grant you any special privileges here.”
“Oh, I’m not famous.” I laughed. But my joviality faded as I noticed that she didn’t even crack a smile.
“You went out of your way to let me know that you’re a writer, and I think that you need to understand that there are plenty of stay-at-home moms who consider being a mother their career.”
“Oh, I understand.” I frowned. “I really didn’t mean to send you that e-mail.”
“I guess you didn’t bring a towel either?”
“No, I didn’t know I needed one.”
“It’s on the website.” She grabbed a towel from one of the chairs and handed it to me. “You can use this one, but I’ll want it back.”
“Okay, thank you.”
As the woman turned and walked away it wasn’t lost on me that she hadn’t even bothered to introduce herself. Already we were off to a bumpy start.
I glanced at Abby, who looked up at me with a big smile. “Oh well, let’s make the best of it, shall we?” I kissed her on the nose. How bad could a massage group be?
I tried not to let the teacher’s less-than-warm welcome bother me. The e-mail I’d sent probably got under her skin, and once she got to know me, she would see that I wasn’t what she thought.
I found an empty spot and spread out the towel. Abby was all too happy to crawl across it.
“Alright, ladies, now we’re going to get our babies into a natural state.” The teacher stood in the middle of the circle.
I waited for instructions on how exactly to get Abby into a natural state when she was more interested in getting off the towel. When no instructions came, I noticed that the women around me were undressing their babies. I decided to follow suit since that seemed to be the thing to do.
Once Abby’s outfit was off, I folded it at the bottom of the towel. Satisfied, I began to play with Abby’s tummy. Then I noticed that all of the other women were taking off their baby’s diaper. There wasn’t much of a chance that all of the babies needed a change at the same time.
“Samantha, are you having trouble?” The teacher crouched down in front of me.
“Am I really supposed to take her diaper off?”
“You didn’t read the website at all, did you?”
“I read some of it.”
“The best way to get your baby to truly relax is to maximize skin-to-skin contact and return them to their natural state. So diapers off and be ready to massage.”
“Okay.”
I looked down at Abby, who cooed and wiggled her fingers at me. Did I really have the right to undress her in front of a crowd? I undressed her at the doctor’s office. This wasn’t too much different. Besides, I also didn’t want to give her the impression that she needed to hide her body or be ashamed in any way.
I took off her diaper and set it aside. Just then a loud gong sound made me jump.
Abby started to cry as did several of the other babies.
The teacher silenced the gong. “Alright, ladies, time to soothe your babies. Remember that we learned last week to use a gentle but firm touch. Shoulders, back, and feet first.”
Chapter 9
I followed the instructions and the movements that the other women were doing. To my surprise, Abby settled very fast, as did the rest of the babies in the group.
I decided I would give her a nightly massage to help her sleep more soundly.
When we flipped the babies over onto their stomachs, Abby kicked her feet right up into the air.
“What are you doing, silly?” I tickled her belly.
She gurgled and kicked her feet.
“Are you going to let me give you the rest of your massage?”
She kicked her feet again.
This time I heard a sound. It was a bit like a faucet being turned on. I couldn’t figure out what it was until I smelled it.
“Oh no!”
Abby had projectile pooed right on the towel, across the towel, and all over her neatly folded outfit.
“Oh, that’s awful!” The woman beside me pinched her nose.
“Ugh, what a stink!” The woman on the other side of me shuddered.
“Oh, like your kids don’t poop!” I rolled my eyes and fished in the diaper bag for wipes.
I pulled them out and realized that I hadn’t packed a spare outfit for Abby. As I mopped her up, I could feel the stares of the other women around me.
What did they expect? Babies pooped. Naked babies pooped everywhere.
Once she was all cleaned up, I put a fresh diaper on her, then picked her up. I rolled up the towel and walked it straight over to the teacher.
“You said you wanted this back.”
She gulped and lunged back away from the towel. “No, keep it. Please, just go.”
My cheeks were on fire as I slammed my way out through the doors of the church. I tossed the towel in a trashcan and buckled my nearly nude baby into her car seat.
As embarrassed and angry as I was, Abby giggled and reached for my face.
My heart melted at her touch.
“Yes, sweetie, we did have fun, didn’t we?” I kissed her forehead and triple-checked her buckles.
As I drove back toward the house, I thought about what I’d wanted from our excursion. Did I want to have fun with Abby or was I hoping to make some new mommy friends?
The friends I’d had when I was younger had their babies when they were younger. We’d drifted apart, and now, it was a bit late to bond with them over baby talk. Their children were older and came with their own set of stresses that I couldn’t understand.
Yet these women, with their perfect images, weren’t going to bond with me either. Perhaps what I longed for more than I knew was someone to share the motherhood experience with—someone who understood what it was like to try very hard, and yet not quite get it right.
When we arrived at home Max was there to greet us.
I held out the stinky bag of clothes and tried not to breathe. “We have a laundry emergency.”
“Honey, that’s not a laundry emergency, that’s an outfit that’s going in the garbage.”
“That’s a much better idea than trying any kind of stain removal.”
“Yes, I think so. But double bag it before you throw it out. Abby!” He snatched the baby from my arms. “Wait until you see what Daddy bought you!”
“I hope it’s a new outfit.” I shoved the stinky clothes into another plastic bag and tossed it into the garbage.
When I joined them in the living room I was stunned by the amount of bags that surrounded Max and Abby.
“What’s all this?”
“Oh, one of the stores was having a big sale. I figured it couldn’t hurt to get a few things.”
“A few things?”
“Don’t worry, it’s all for Abby. Look, she loves the blocks.” He smiled as Abby scooted toward a stack of soft blocks.
“Max, she already has blocks.”
“Can’t ever have too many. We can build the biggest tower ever. Can’t we, Abby?” He tickled her.
She squealed and flattened out on her tummy.
“What else did you buy?” I peeked in a few of the bags. As he claimed, every item was for Abby. Some were age appropriate; some would have to be stored for when she was older. “You really had fun, didn’t you?”
“It’s amazing how easy it is to shop without a baby.” He grinned.
“Don’t you think that she has enough, though?”
“Never.” He picked up Abby and blew air on her belly.
Abby shrieked with happiness and squirmed in her father’s grasp.
I decided not to ruin the moment. He was allowed to splurge a bit on his little girl. While they played, I started a bath for Abby and got out her pajamas. After such an eventful day I was sure she’d be ready to take a long nap.
When I returned to get her, Max was army-crawling on the floor in a race with her. I took
a moment to treasure the sight of the two of them playing together.
“Alright, Max, I need to give Abby a bath. I don’t think the wipe bath I gave her was sufficient.”
“Okay. I have something to take care of outside anyway.” He picked her up and handed her to me. “Have fun with those bubbles, Abby.”
Chapter 10
I carried Abby to the tub and we went through our usual routine of singing songs and splashing in the water. Watching Abby’s joy in the bathtub reminded me of how much I’d loved baths as a kid—not just to soak in, but to play in.
I would take many of my toys into the tub and set up entire aquatic worlds. Why was that something that only kids got to do? I was sure I could come up with an entire planet if I wanted to as an adult.
I decided that the next time I took a bath I was going to do just that. I might have to borrow a few of Abby’s toys, though.
Once she was out of the tub and dried off, I walked with her for some time and hummed her favorite song. Within just a few minutes she was sound asleep on my shoulder.
As I neared the back door I heard a strange repetitive sound. It took me a moment to identify it.
The sound of hammering drew me out through the back door. What I saw in the backyard surprised me.
Max was surrounded by piles of painted wood—pink painted wood.
“Max, what are you doing? I just got Abby to sleep.” I patted her back as she snored beside my ear.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I just want to get this put together before it rains.”
“What exactly is it?” I noticed the large page of instructions on the grass beside the pile.
“It’s a playhouse. Isn’t it great? Princess Castle, perfect for any little girl. It was on sale.” He beamed.
“It’s too much, Max.”
“What?” He swung the hammer against a nail and drove it into the roof of the playhouse.
“All of this. She’s not even a year old yet.”
“It was a good deal, Sammy, and she’ll want to play in it when she’s older.”
“And all of the other toys you bought?”
“So what? She’ll have lots to play with.”
Baby on Board (Single Wide Female & Family #2) Page 3
