Shifting Too

by Shifting Too (anth. )(Rob

  ***

  The first thing Tynan noticed was the feathery feel of softness beneath him. A mattress, no doubt. He opened his eyes, but they were grainy with sleep and he had a hard time focusing. He tried to turn his head, but a pair of strong yet gentle hands stopped him.

  "Easy, my love. You mustn't move. Allow the healer to tend you first." Soft fingertips brushed against his forehead, pushing aside his dirty hair. "All will be well, you'll see."

  Tynan was dreaming. He had to be. That sounded like Xandor's voice, but 'twas impossible to even think it. Xandor was lost to him, a fact Tynan had long ago resigned himself to. Without strength enough to fight against the sleep still claiming him, Tynan again closed his eyes and allowed the blessed cool of darkness to take him.

  ***

  Aswyn opened the door to the old king's chamber, not surprised to see Xandor sitting in his late father's chair, gazing out the lone window. Aswyn closed the door behind him and crossed the room to sit in the chair closest to Xandor's.

  "I was hoping I'd find you here."

  "No matter the problem, I could always come to my father when the need arose." Xandor scrubbed a weary hand over his haggard face. "He always knew just what to say, just what to do to soothe away my fears." He managed a weak smile. "My father loved Tynan. Said he was good for me. Even after Tynan left, Father championed his cause." Xandor gave a bone deep sigh. "Once again, the old man was right. Creator knows I wish he was here to say, 'I told you so.'"

  Aswyn wished so, too, if for no other reason than to offer Xandor some comfort. "I spoke with the healer you brought in to examine Tynan."

  Xandor lifted flat eyes to meet his. "Then you know that there's nothing to be done for Tynan."

  "So the man told me, but -" Aswyn broke off, unsure how to proceed. He had no wish to give Xandor false hope, but if there was even a chance that Tynan's life could be spared, he owed it to both of them to try. Swallowing, he said, "There might be a way to save Tynan still."

  Xandor sat up in his chair, eyeing Aswyn like a drowning man eyes a rope. "Well don't just sit there. Tell me what I must do."

  "Xandor -"

  "Aswyn, please. I know I was a fool." Wetness leaked from the corners of Xandor's eyes, but he brushed it away with trembling fingers. "I pushed Tynan aside when he was only trying to protect me. I know that now, but by all that's holy, I swear to you I never stopped loving him. If there's a way to save him, you must help me."

  Aswyn nodded, knowing that should his plan fail, Tynan would be no more or less damned to death than he was now. "Remember the stories we were taught as children, the tales of how our people came into being?"

  "Yes, but what…" Xandor shook his head. "Those were just legends told to frighten and enthrall hapless youths. Myths they were, without a measure of truth in them."

  "But what if they were true? Don't you owe it to Tynan to test the theory?"

  Aswyn could tell from the look on Xandor's face that he wanted desperately to believe. "If I do as you suggest and it doesn't work -"

  "Then Tynan will be no worse off than he is right now."

  Xandor rose from his chair on unsteady legs. Clapping Aswyn on the back, he said as he passed, "Pray for me, my friend. If this fails and Tynan dies, I doubt I'll be strong enough to survive it."

  Aswyn doubted it, too. He waited until Xandor was gone and then prayed like he'd never prayed before.

  ***

  Tynan woke to the sound of arguing. Though still too weak to open his eyes, this time he was certain he heard Xandor's voice. "Leave, damn you. I know what I must do, and I'll tolerate no more of your interference."

  "Majesty, please, you must reconsider. You're pinning your hopes on a fairy's tale. You mustn't -"

  "Out, healer," Xandor all but growled, "before I lose patience and throw you out myself."

  Tynan heard the squeak of the door as the healer complied and then he was being gathered into a pair of sturdy arms. "Wake, my love," Xandor's husky voice entreated. "Wake so that I may again see those dazzling green eyes of yours."

  Tynan forced his heavy lids open, surprised to see tears coursing down Xandor's cheeks. He tried to lift a hand -- tried to wipe them away -- but his fingers refused to cooperate. In the end, he was able to utter but one word. "Xandor."

  Soft lips pressed to his. "Shh. You need not speak, only listen. I may know of a way to reverse the effects of this disease that claims you. To save you, that is."

  Tynan wanted to tell Xandor 'twas of no use, but he was too exhausted to voice the words. Not that it would have mattered. He could hear Xandor's determination, could see it on his face as Xandor stared into his eyes.

  "'Tis a legend among our people that the first of our kind was created when he crossed paths with a vengeful witch who then levied a curse upon him. 'Twas said that she poisoned his blood so that upon the full of each moon he'd be forced to answer the summons of the wolf." Xandor stroked Tynan's face with one finger before going on. "Because most of us can change whenever we so desire, my people have always dismissed the stories as nothing more than myth, but there's one part of the tale I'm not so quick to set aside. 'Tis said that the blood of a man-wolf, once tasted by a human, will turn the human so that he, too, must answer the moon's call." He leaned closer. "My kind is immune to human disease, Tynan. If you become as I am -- if 'tis even possible for you to do so -- then there's a chance the wolven blood will restore your heart to its former strength." Xandor hesitated. "Legend tells us that once one of my kind turns a mortal, that mortal is bound to him for all time. If you do this thing, the two of us will be linked until the day we die."

  'Twas then that Tynan understood what was being asked of him. He wasn't just choosing between life and death. He was being asked to choose or reject Xandor. Once, a long time ago, Tynan had mistakenly chosen wrong and paid the price, but never again. If all he ever had with Xandor was his last dying moment, 'twould be enough. Summoning all his remaining strength, Tynan whispered, "Yes."

  Xandor sagged with relief. "Thank the Creator above." With infinite care, he laid Tynan against the pillows before sitting back and pulling his own tunic over his head. Sick as he was, even Tynan was able to appreciate the corded display of rippling muscle and sun bronzed skin Xandor showed. He watched, fascinated, as Xandor pulled a dirk from his belt and cut a small slit just below his collar bone. Tossing the dirk aside, Xandor again reached for Tynan, lifting him so that his mouth was pressed against the wound. Threading his fingers through Tynan's hair, Xandor said, "Drink, my love. Drink for both of us."

  Closing his eyes as the coppery liquid filled his mouth, Tynan drank deep, never doubting that both their very lives depended on it.

  ***

  Xandor eased Tynan back against the mattress but kept a firm hold on his hand, waiting, though he knew not for what. To his alarm, Tynan's breathing grew even more labored. Frightened, Xandor ripped open his beloved's field-soiled tunic and pressed his ear to Tynan's chest. Tynan's heart was beating an erratic rhythm, and his skin was pale as death. Uncertain what to do, Xandor called for help.

  Aswyn answered the summons, running into the bedchamber at top speed. "What's happening?"

  Xandor shook his head, still holding tight to Tynan's hand. "I don't know. I gave him my blood," he pointed to his still-bleeding chest with his free hand, "but it only made things worse."

  But Aswyn wasn't looking at Xandor's chest. His eyes were focused on the back of Tynan's free hand. "I don't think you made it worse. In fact, I'd say Tynan is about to go through his first change."

  Xandor's eyes flew to the back of Tynan's hand just as he felt the first prickling of coarse hair tickling the skin where his fingers and Tynan's were entwined. Sure enough, a sprinkling of golden hair was sprouting through Tynan's pale flesh. Xandor had just leaned over to better see the new growth when Tynan's eyes flew open and he began to thrash. For better or worse, the change had begun.

  Xandor stood, bending forward over Tynan and gaining a firm hold on hi
s shoulders. Glancing back at Aswyn, he said, "Grab his legs and hold tight. If I remember my own first change correctly, 'twill be a long, painful journey before he reaches the wolf."

  Aswyn nodded and had just taken hold of Tynan's legs when Tynan found his voice. "What's happening to me?" His scream echoed across the chamber, causing both Aswyn and Xandor to wince as the inhuman sound hit their sensitive ears.

  Xandor tried to soothe Tynan as best he could without easing the grip he had on Tynan's shoulders. "It's the change, love. 'Tis always painful the first time. 'Twill be better in a moment, I swear."

  Tynan shook his head, the movement blending in with the seizures racking his too-thin frame. Tears of agony filled his eyes. "Hurts."

  Xandor felt ill, knowing there was nothing he could do to ease Tynan's pain. "I'm so sorry, my own. I'd have spared you this if I could. Please tell me you know that."

  Tynan tried to answer, but the sound came out as nothing save a low growl. Beneath his hands, Xandor felt the telling crunch of bone and gristle as man became wolf. He watched with keen fascination as Tynan's button nose lengthened into a wolven snout and his luscious mouth gave way to row upon row of razor-edged teeth. Cloth ripped and tore as Tynan's human clothes became an obstacle, and Aswyn relinquish his hold long enough to pull the rags away while Xandor held tight. When at last Tynan was gone and only the wolf remained, Xandor and Aswyn stepped back, each giving Tynan a chance to adjust to the transformation.

  Xandor stood beside the bed, looking down at a pair of sleepy green eyes. The wolf blinked up at him, and even though Tynan was incapable of human expression in this form, Xandor knew without having to be told what Tynan was feeling.

  "'Tis normal to be addled, Tynan." He managed a weak smile. "Even though you've completed the change, wolf and man are still trying to reconcile. If it makes you feel better, in a moment you'll fall into a deep sleep and your body will once again become human. 'Tis the magic's way of completing the cycle."

  The furry body tensed, but again, Xandor understood. "It won't hurt this time, love. Leastwise, you'll be in such a deep slumber you won't feel it." He reached out with one hand, lightly rubbing over the still-heaving canine body. "Rest now, Tynan. Let the magic overtake you."

  The wolf blinked at him twice before closing his heavy lidded eyes. As soon as it seemed Tynan had reached the promised sleep, Aswyn sank down onto a bench at the foot of the bed and released a long held breath.

  "Thank the Creator 'tis over. I don't think I've been this frightened since my own first change." Aswyn looked to Xandor. "Do you think I was right? Did the change reverse the damage done by his sickness?"

  Xandor sat down in the bedside chair, studying the handsome gold wolf lying atop the satin coverlet. "Would that I knew." He sighed. "As soon as Tynan shifts back, we'll have the healer perform another examination." He leaned his weary head on the back of the chair. "Until then, all we can do is wait."

  Aswyn snorted. "Waiting. The one thing neither of us is good at."

  Normally, Xandor would have agreed with Aswyn, but not now. Xandor had been waiting for Tynan these eight years past, though at the time he'd dared not admit it to himself. And if he was forced to wait eight more, he would do it gladly. Xandor was praying like mad for a second chance with the man he loved, and if took patience and perseverance to get what he desired, then so be it.

  ***

  Tynan opened his eyes as an odd sense of wellness pervaded his every extremity. So long had it been since he'd felt truly healthy, it took him a moment to recognize the feeling for what it was. He lifted his hand to his face, surprised to see his sallow skin once again alight with the blushing pink glow of well being. Lowering his hand, he moved his hips to gain a more comfortable position, and 'twas then he realized he was stark naked.

  "My clothes." The words came out as little more than a raspy mumble, his raw throat sill smarting from the abuse of his screams. Even so, the moment the utterance left his mouth, Xandor was at his side.

  Sitting down beside Tynan on the bed, Xandor gifted him with a brilliant smile. "If by clothes you mean those filthy rags you were wearing, I'm not sorry to say they didn't survive the change. I tossed what was left of them into the fire where they belonged. When next you dress, 'twill be in only the finest garments Alden has to offer."

  That didn't make sense. Tynan stared up and into Xandor's haggard but radiant face. "What about the punishment?"

  "Punishment? You mean for the task master who hit you in the chest?" Xandor's lips fell into a hard line. "You'll be happy to know the scum is going to be working the very fields he once patrolled for a long time to come. I'll not tolerate that kind of abuse being hefted upon my workers. All men deserve a measure of dignity, from the wealthiest king to the lowliest field hand."

  Tynan shook his head. He was glad to hear the man would no longer be able to abuse the serfs, but that wasn't what he was talking about. "What about my punishment? Mine and my father's?"

  Instead of answering straight away, Xandor stood and crossed the room to a low chest on the other side, coming back a moment later with a goblet in his hand. Setting it on the bedside table, Xandor slipped an arm under Tynan's shoulders and helped him sit up. The warm touch of Xandor's hands on his bare skin caused Tynan to flush, but if Xandor noticed, he said nothing. Once Tynan was sitting steady, Xandor handed him the goblet before reclaiming his place on the edge of the bed. "Drink that. Your voice sounds as scratchy as uncombed wool."

  Tynan did as he was told, expecting the vessel to contain water. He was surprised when the honeyed flavor of mead exploded onto his tongue. He closed his eyes, allowing the blessedly cool liquid to caress the swollen tissues of his throat. Only after he'd drunk his fill and handed the empty goblet back to Xandor did he say, "Mead, my favorite drink. I can't believe you remembered."

  Xandor's eyes bore into his with an intensity that made Tynan squirm. "I've forgotten nothing of our time together, Tynan. Not a single detail. Creator knows I've gone over every last moment again and again these eight years past, searching for the place where I went wrong."

  Remorse and regret warred within Tynan, hating himself anew for the pain he'd caused. "Xandor, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you as I did." He sighed. "My only defense is to say that, at the time, I believed I was sparing you an upcoming grief."

  "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. We were lovers, Tynan. I should have known you were ill. And by the time you came back to Graywald, 'twas almost too late." He shuddered. "I died a thousand deaths when that bastard hit you across the chest and you collapsed. So many things I hadn't told you, so many -" He broke off, coming to his feet with a surge that startled Tynan and caused him to fall back against the pillows. "My wounded pride almost cost you your life."

  "Xandor, don't -"

  But Xandor wouldn't let Tynan speak. "I'll not allow you to absolve me of this. I know a fool when I lay eyes on one, and each time I look in the mirror 'tis a fool I see looking back at me." He took a deep, chest-shaking breath. "In answer to your question, there is no punishment. Your father and all his household have been reinstated to full title. And I've replaced every last coin he spent on those charlatans who promised they could heal you yet delivered nothing."

  "Xandor, you don't have to -"

  "Speaking of healers," Xandor kept talking as if Tynan hadn't interrupted, "as soon as your change cycle was completed, my own personal physician examined you." He paused, his eyes searching Tynan's face. "You're healed, love. Near as he can tell, your heart is beating a normal rhythm."

  Tynan wasn't surprised. For the first time in almost eight years his own heartbeat wasn't ringing in his ears as it pounded out a pathetic, struggling cadence. Knowing that his entire life lay still ahead of him made the pain of the last hours more than worth it, but there were questions Tynan had yet to ask. Clearing his healing throat, he said, "The wolf. How often will I be forced to call it?"

  "Should you so choose, you never have to c
hange forms again." Xandor tilted his head to the side, a sad smile on his face. "Is it really so hard for you then, to embrace the creature you've become?"

  "No. Xandor I -" A commotion from downstairs cut him off mid-sentence.

  "I imagine that's your father, come to see what I've done to you." Xandor turned toward the door but stopped halfway there. Without turning around, he said, "I know it may be hard for you to accept that which you've become, and I realize now that you may not have known what I was asking of you when I told you to make a choice. But know this," he half-turned then, allowing Tynan to see the burning certainty written across his face. "If I had the choice to make again, I'd do the same thing without thinking twice. I'd rather have you alive and hating me than be left to mourn you the rest of my days. I may be a selfish bastard, but I love you, and damned if I was going to stand aside and watch you die." And before Tynan could respond, Xandor turned and walked out the door, leaving Tynan to ponder his next course.