by Casey Hays
Kate never told me Mona chose her. I found out with everyone else, and I wonder now… if we do leave the Village—if we find her and announce our loyalty to her alone—will she want to be our leader? It was clearly never her intention. And so how does Blaer plan to convince her?
Blaer stands now and comes to me. She takes my hand, firmly bunching my fingers together until a sharp pain brings my gaze in focus with hers.
“We’re not doing this again. You need to promise that you’re with us, Mia. Right now. Promise.”
I can feel my pulse in my crimped fingers, and I try to pull away, but she holds fast.
“We’re talking about Kate here. Don’t you want to see her again?”
“Of course, I do.” I yank hard, and step away from her. “More than any of you combined. But—”
“But what?” Blaer crosses her arms. “If you tell me you’re afraid one more time, I might simply slap you.” Our eyes meet, and the gleam in hers is hard. “Do you think you’re the only one?” She nods toward the wall. “Even Gina is scared, as she should be. If any one of us is not scared… as scared as Kate was when she climbed up on that platform with Mona’s dead body at her feet… then we should all go home.”
We’re all quiet. Gina lowers her foot and raises the other to plant against the wall, shifting her body slightly. Fallon tugs on the end of her braid. Bridget wrings her hands, stops, spreads her palms over her knees, and then starts to wringing again. And Blaer, standing tall and stern in front of me, doesn’t seem a bit frightened.
“What’s it going to be, Mia?” She waves her hand around the room. “All of us have made our decision. We’re going forward with this.”
I sweep my eyes over the girls. They all look at me; Bridget attempts a weak smile, and she nods rapidly. Blaer sighs, dropping her hands to her sides.
“Truly, Mia. For once—just this once—can’t you do something in your life that is worth the price you may have to pay?”
Her words stab me straight through the heart… because I hear Kate’s voice ring through them. She once dared me to take such a step. To do something reckless. To make a difference. I had been afraid then, too.
I close my eyes and pull my bottom lip between my teeth. If this were Kate’s decision, she would not leave Chad to live in that cave on the other side of the river. She would get him out of here. She was willing to die for Ian. Could I, in all honesty, do the same?
I see Chad’s ever steady eyes searching me out, waiting for me to decide our future. He will do whatever I want… whatever I need. And he will not question it.
I shudder inwardly. I know I will never take him back to the Pit, and the more I consider him—what he has become for me and what I feel for him—the more I want to give him something precious of this life… if only I can discover what that is. I place my palm solidly over my abdomen.
How can I refuse what Blaer offers?
I face her, lifting my shoulders with as much courage as I can muster.
“I am with you,” I say. “I—I have to be.”
Nobody moves, as if to do so will somehow extinguish my bold and final announcement. But Blaer’s smile spreads across her face faster than a star’s twinkle. She squeezes my arm and tosses her eyes toward the others.
“Then it’s done. Begin preparing. We leave in two weeks.”
*
“We’re really going to do this? Just leave?”
A crash of thunder drowns out the last of his words. I raise my voice above the fray to answer him.
“Yes. We are.”
We’re huddled together at the very back of the shallow cave, which lends less than adequate covering from the torrential rush. Water gushes in a solid waterfall over the opening and a puddle slowly creeps toward us. Even with Chad’s big, warm arms around me, I shiver.
“What does that mean for us?”
I look him squarely in the eye. “I don’t know, honestly. I hope it means we can be together. And that we will be safe.”
“When will we go?”
“Soon,” I assure him.
He keeps his gaze on me a minute longer before he tugs me closer and lays his cheek against the top of my head. I sink into him and close my eyes.
There was no guard outside my door tonight. It began raining long before I crossed the river, and I knew I should have turned back, but I couldn’t make myself do it. Now, my goal is to do as little thinking as possible. The rain helps. I get lost in its thrumming, and after a while, it lulls us both into a doze. But when it continues to fall with no sign of letting up, I begin to worry that I may not make it back to the Village before sunrise.
I crawl to the entrance and peer through the sheet of running water. It’s very early morning, and the sky is dark with thick, black clouds, completely absent of stars or moonlight. A stream of water rushes past just outside, and I know immediately the river has flooded over onto the bank. I will never find the rock path in the storm. I ease back to settle against the wall next to Chad.
“I’ll have to stay here for a while.”
Worry touches his eyes, and I feel it in my bones. He takes the blanket and unfurls it over us. “Will they notice you’re gone?”
“I hope not.” I lay my cheek against his arm. “Perhaps the storm will keep everyone tucked in.”
But I’m not so certain, and the unease in my gut grows as the rains pummel. I will never hear the end of it from Blaer if I’ve jeopardized her plans.
*
I’m not the one who jeopardizes Blaer’s plans.
Chad and I wait all day for the waters to recede enough for me to cross, and my nerves are raw with worry when I eventually make it home. Somehow, and to my great surprise, no one has missed me. The sun shines for the next two days, and I manage to travel back and forth to Chad with no more problematic rainstorms.
Gina spends time during her hunts to map out the terrain. Truly, she has no idea which way Kate might have gone, and on instinct alone, it’s decided we will travel east. We meet at the cabin one last time. Blaer announces our departure will be three days from now.
My anxious heart picks up speed after this and doesn’t slow.
And then, just before midnight on the second day, Blaer shakes me awake.
“Mia! Mia, get up!”
I bolt upright on my mat, as the groggy, wakeful world invades my dreams.
“What? What is it?” I rub at my heavy eyes.
“They’ve taken Bridget. We have to go.”
I focus on her face in the dreary light of the moon, trying to make sense of her words.
“What?”
“The Council. They took her for questioning.”
“Why?” Fully alert, I climb to my feet to meet her wide-eyed gaze in the shimmering moonlight.
“Because she tried to take her mate out of the Pit. The guards caught her.”
I freeze in place. “No,” I whisper.
“We can’t wait. We must go now.”
“Now? But—what about Bridget?”
Blaer doesn’t hesitate with her answer. “We have to leave her behind.”
“Leave her? We can’t.”
“Yes we can. And we will.”
A noise outside, and Fallon steps through the door. A large pouch purse is loaded down and slung cross-wise over her body, and her hair is pinned up away from her face.
“Did you wake Gina?” Blaer asks her.
“Yes. She’ll meet us by the river.”
Blaer nods. I stare at them both, suddenly very aware that this is happening. It’s happening right now, and I’m not ready. I’m not ready to trust my entire life to these girls I hardly know. I take a backward step and disappear into the shadows near the wall.
“Why did Bridget have to be so careless?” Fallon whispers with a sad shake of her head. “I warned her it would be risky, but she wouldn’t leave him.”
“It’s too late for that now.” Blaer scoops up her own pack where she’d deposited it on the floor. “We can’t help her
.” Her eyes flick toward me. “Get your things, Mia.”
I don’t move, and after a minute, I sink to the floor and fold my knees up to my chest. Blaer hovers over me, hands on hips.
“Mia, we don’t have time for this.” Her voice is hushed and raspy.
“I can’t go,” I whisper.
Blaer and Fallon exchange a glance. With a sigh, Blaer crouches, her eyes level with mine. “You can. You made a promise.”
I simply shake my head, numb with fear at the prospect of putting into action all that we’ve devised. Living under the trees, hunting our own food, walking for hours at a time on the off-chance that we’ll find Kate. Having this baby with no midwife to assist—all of it is suddenly... terrifying. I tremble where I sit.
“Come, Mia.” She picks up my blouse and shoves it toward me. “Get dressed.”
Fallon busies herself with stuffing clothes into my bag, while I let Blaer drag me to my feet. In my mind, I’m whisked back to the day Kate left. I huddled in a tight circle with my two best friends, crying at the thought of never seeing them again. But I couldn’t go with them, not even when Kate suggested it. My place is in the Village. And whether it is fear or duty or destiny that keeps me here, here is where I’ll stay. I bunch the blouse in my fists and release a sigh that melts into a sob.
“I’ve changed my mind. I’m not going.”
Blaer goes still, her eyes pinned on me. “And what about Chad?”
My eyes flood with tears. “Take him with you,” I croak. “Please.”
She tilts her head, a look of sympathy crossing over her features before she steps up to me and gently takes hold of my arm.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I never should have led you to believe I would go with you. I know in the deepest part of my heart I never intended to leave.”
“Mia. Listen to me.” Her grip tightens. “Bridget is sweet and kind, but she has never been strong. And she won’t mean anything by it, but when pressed, she will tell them everything. And when she does, we can’t be anywhere near the Village. The Council may not kill us, but I’ve no doubt our punishment will be severe. You need to think about this.”
I nod rapidly as her warning cuts to my core. “Just take Chad. Get him away from here.”
She steps back, her angry disappointment clear even in the shadows. And without another word, she turns and disappears through the bamboo leaves.
Fallon drops my pouch onto my mat. “I think you’re making a mistake.”
I shrug. “Perhaps.”
A beat of silence before Fallon steps up and throws her arms around my neck. It surprises me, but I find myself returning the hug wholeheartedly. The last act of kindness I expect to receive in my life. A sob escapes me, and Fallon leans away to take my face in her hands.
“Good luck, Mia.”
“Whatever you have to do to make Chad go,” I whisper, my eyes beseeching. “Do it.”
She nods. “He’ll go. He trusts Blaer now. She’ll convince him.”
Another quick squeeze, and she follows Blaer out. The rustling of the bamboo leaves is the only indication that anyone was ever here with me.
Chapter 15
I
t is well past noon before the Council comes for me. They find me behind the kitchen, my arms shoved up to my elbows in a pot of warm dishwater. I don’t pretend not to see them. I straighten, dry my hands on a cloth, and watch their approach.
Tara stops a few yards from me, her stance wide, the coil of rope at her belt. Her hair is held back with the usual bundle of knotted braids, and her expression is as stern as ever. I feel my insides giving way to my fear as I take her in, but then I remind myself that I carry a new villager in my womb, and this is my security. I raise myself a bit higher and wait.
“Where are the others?” Tara quips the moment she reaches me. Her low voice is rough with irritation. “Blaer? Fallon?”
“Gone,” I answer.
She tilts her head. “You did not leave with them. Why?”
“For the same reason I didn’t leave with Kate.” I swallow. “I belong here. This is my home.”
A deep sigh escapes her. She purses her lips. “This is also the home of your mate. Where is he?”
I’m silent. She frowns.
“Mia. He is a valuable asset to the Village. You will bring him back.”
“I—” The words stick in my throat. I force them out. “I can’t.”
Tara’s face hardens. “Why not?”
A trembling breath. “I sent him away.”
Tara’s jaw noticeably strains as she clenches her teeth. “Bridget has been very informative. She tells us they’ve gone after Kate. To persuade her to return. Is this true?”
When I don’t answer, she steps in.
“Is this true, Mia?” she growls.
“Yes.” I tremble. “I would think that would please you to have Kate in your hands again.”
Tara frowns. She knows as well as I it isn’t that simple. Kate’s return may not be a benefit to Tara’s agenda. She wants to be leader. Her time of mourning has passed, and she reeks of this desire. She jerks her head to the left, and two guards move in. I attempt to shuffle out of reach, but one guard is too quick. Her fingers dig roughly into my upper arm. My eyes flit around, searching the faces of the other council members.
“Where’s Leah? I want to talk to Leah.”
“You’ve committed an infraction of the worst kind,” Tara responds. “Even Leah would agree. She can’t help you.” With a lilting lift of her chin, she addresses the guards. “Take her.”
“No!” My resistance is a muffled plea. “I want to see Leah!”
I know I deserve this, but still, I yank. Both guards have me in their clutches, and disregarding my request, they haul me away, the toes of my shoes dragging through the dust. I squirm, kick out, wrench around until I can see Tara. The look of satisfaction chiseled into her face makes me nauseous.
The guards take me to the Pit, force me down the ladder. As they lug me past the first section of caves, I see the locks. One by one, the gates have been secured, and before long, I’m thrown into an empty cave. The lock clicks into place. I rush the bamboo bars and stare down the guards. They peer back briefly before they turn away.
“Wait!” I beg. “Please. What is to become of me?”
The guards exchange a quick glance before the taller one looks at me.
“This,” she says. “For now.”
That’s all they give me before they disappear from sight.
My breath is ragged. My hands slip from the bars to hang limp at my sides.
The mat is thin and dirty. I use the provided blanket to wipe it down before I lower myself onto it. There is nothing else in here. It is as dreary and empty and confining as Chad’s own cave. I bite my lip to staunch the trembling, but I am terrified. What are the Council’s plans for me?
Layla invades my memories. She was the last of my friends to die at the hands of the Council for far less than I have done. Her only crime was conceiving a baby with a defect, which was hardly her fault. Why, then, would the Council spare me?
They won’t.
Restless, I rise to pace the length of the small space. The hours pass; worry consumes me. What of Bridget? Is she locked inside a cell? Did Blaer and Fallon make it to the meeting place with Gina? Did they convince Chad to go with them?
My mind overflows with questions until I feel insanity moving in. I sink to the mat and bury my head into my folded arms. I can’t endure another minute of my thoughts, and yet, I can’t escape them.
I’ve just begun my relentless pacing again when a jailer arrives with a plate of food: stew, bread, fruit, and water. At least, they haven’t overlooked the fact that I need to eat well.
The jailer sets the tray just inside the gate and slams it. I step forward hoping she will speak to me.
“Please. I would like to see Leah. Could you get a message to her?”
The jailer pauses, a scowl cut in the space between her e
yes. “Do I look like a messenger?” she quips. She trudges away.
With a sigh, I pick up the tray and return to the mat. Despite my misery, I’m hungry, and I eat every bite. More than anything, it serves as a momentary distraction.
When night falls over the world, I’m grateful for another distraction: sleep. I’m exhausted in every way, and it doesn’t take me long to drift off. I curl myself around the small curve of my belly and shut everything out until all I see is a sheet of black nothingness.
In my dreams, I see my baby with Chad’s smile and my eyes. I snuggle him close to me while he feeds. Chad drapes an arm over my shoulders and peers down in admiration, and I’m stunned by the scene. This is not ideal, and it has never been something I wanted. But I am overwhelmed by the feelings this dream invokes. It’s... warm. This is what I feel. Warmth.
It’s full of that feeling in my chest. Love.
I’m nudged awake. In a panic, I pull myself upright, expecting to find Tara or Eleanor or a terrifying monster in the cave with me. But no one is here. Confused, I frown, but in the dark, it bumps me once more. I gasp, and there it is again—a slight tugging on my insides. Shock overwhelms me as I place a hand on either side of my abdomen.
“You’re really in there, aren’t you?” I whisper.
There is no answer, of course. Only a flutter of movement beneath my fingers. But the tears come—a comingling of joy and sadness even as the sadness presses me more harshly. But the joy... it is a solid thing anchoring me to the life which grows inside me. And suddenly, the question doesn’t matter. Call it delusional, ill-thinking brought on by grogginess, the tainting effects of love. This little life has chosen this moment to make its presence a reality exactly when I needed it most.
This beautiful life that is Chad... and me. And I am comforted by the idea that I am not alone.
“What will they do with us, little one?”
I lie here in the dark—a prisoner—and I truly begin to consider everything Kate did. Everything she said. She wanted a freedom I couldn’t understand, and she fought for it. She fought for Ian. And Diana? She wanted a life for Tabitha. One that involved choices I didn’t believe we had a right to make. Choices that defied the gods and all things good.
