Matt finally started the conversation Renee knew was coming.
“Have you thought further on what I talked to you about a few days ago?”
“Of course I have,” she replied as she gave Matt a shy smile. “I haven’t been able to think about much else.”
“So . . . what do you think? Would you be OK with me moving here to take the job?”
Renee could tell from Matt’s tone he expected an honest answer. Knowing her response would impact both of their futures, she chose her words carefully.
“Matt . . . I appreciate the fact you care enough about what I think to come all the way back here to discuss this with me in person. The sheriff’s department would be lucky to have you. You are an amazing person. But . . .”
She stared into Matt’s eyes.
“Why me?”
Matt shook his head, looking bewildered.
“Renee, how can you even ask that? Why do you find it so hard to believe I want to have a shot at something real with you? You’re smart, loyal, a wonderful mother . . . you’ve done an amazing job raising your kids, and when you face adversity, you don’t run. You tackle problems head-on. How many people do you know that would have the guts to do what you are doing at the resort?”
“Matt, I wouldn’t be at the resort in the first place if I hadn’t gotten fired. I’m a middle-aged woman who hasn’t done anything exciting with her life, not counting Whispering Pines—and even that was something that just fell into my lap. I color my hair to hide the gray, and parts are starting to droop on my body that I didn’t even know could droop. How you could possibly be attracted to me is a complete mystery.”
Matt sat back in his chair, aghast. “Jesus Christ, Renee, you’re being ridiculous! I couldn’t care less what color your hair is, and everything about your body is perfect to me. You know those stretch marks you tried to hide when we made love? Those remind me of the blessing you were given to be able to bear two wonderful children. I don’t have any kids of my own. Any scars or sagging either of us has are well-earned and a testament to our years of living. Nothing less and nothing more.”
Renee didn’t respond immediately. She took a slow sip of her wine, set the glass back on the table and leaned back in her chair.
“How do you do that?”
“Do what?” Matt fired back; he was obviously still pissed at her for thinking so little of herself.
“How do you remind me that I’m more than I give myself credit for? It can be so easy for me to wallow in my own little pity party. To think because I have been single a long time and it has been a tough year, it will always be this way. Always me on my own, slowly ending up totally alone as my kids start to leave the nest. Right now, that feels less risky to me than letting you in, taking a chance with you. I might get hurt. And that scares the hell out of me.”
“Do you think I would ever hurt you?” Matt asked, lowering his voice. He leaned forward and took up one of her hands in his own.
“Not intentionally . . . but life can get messy.”
“Yep, it can, and it probably will, but the fact that neither of us are inexperienced twenty-year-olds means we’re better-equipped to deal with the messiness,” he replied.
Renee knew Matt was right. Each of them had lived through their fair share of heartache and loss, and they might have to live through more in the future—but Renee was tired of playing it safe. Her heart had shattered into a million pieces when Jim died. She hadn’t been willing to put any effort into building a life with another man, was afraid to face that kind of pain again. Years later, here she was, having to decide whether or not to take a chance again, with a guy who put his own life on the line on a regular basis. Maybe that’s what scared her the most.
“I am scared,” she said again. “What if something happens to you? It isn’t like you’re in a safe line of work.”
Matt nodded. “You’re right, and I already lost one wife because she couldn’t handle what I do for a living. I tried to do something different, but it didn’t last long. Maybe I won’t want to do this forever, but for now, it’s what I do, and I’m good at it. If that’s too much for you, tell me now and I guess we’ll have our answer.”
Renee considered his declaration carefully before answering.
“I didn’t realize until tonight how terrified I am at the possibility of something happening to you on the job. I tried to block it out of my mind. But I’m not so terrified that I’m willing to walk away. I have lived through the death of a husband, and I survived. Maybe I am tougher than I give myself credit for,” she acknowledged, smiling across the table at Matt.
Matt scoffed. “You think? And a hell of a lot sexier than you give yourself credit for, too, pretty lady. Now can we get the hell out of here? If you need any more convincing from me, I am done with words.”
Renee laughed. “Lead the way, mister.”
Matt tucked a wad of cash into the portfolio lying on the table, not willing to wait any longer. Still outwardly the gentleman, though, he stood and pulled Renee’s chair back from the table, settling her shawl around her shoulders. He took her hand and ushered her out of the restaurant. To anyone watching, this couple would have appeared composed, but Renee’s temperature was rising as she felt the tension radiating out of him. He helped her up into the pickup, her heels and short dress making the ascent more challenging. He gently tugged down her hem where it had ridden high on her thigh, letting his warm fingers trail down to her knee before slamming the door and hustling over to climb in on his side.
He pushed against the high end of the speed limit on the drive to the hotel, not saying a word but tapping out the beat of the Bob Seger song on the radio against the steering wheel. “Old Time Rock and Roll” was one of Renee’s all-time favorites, and her foot kept time on the floorboards. The beat of the music kept their pulses from slowing.
This time Renee didn’t wait for Matt to come around and help her out of the truck when they pulled in front of the hotel. She started to climb out but caught her high heel on the lip of a rubber floor mat, pitching herself off balance. She grabbed for the door jamb but wasn’t quick enough. Bracing for a hard impact, sure she was about to break her neck falling out of the damn truck, she slammed her eyes shut—only to be caught up by a pair of strong arms.
“Whoa, there, pretty lady . . . what’s your hurry?” Matt said, not completely able to mask a grunt as he broke her fall.
“Oh God, that was almost a disastrous end to the evening,” Renee was able to gasp out, still shaken by her tumble out of the 4x4. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure. Now come on, follow me.”
Renee tugged her dress back into place with her free hand, stepping quickly after Matt as he hurried into the building, pulling her along behind him. The lobby remained empty as they waited impatiently for the elevator.
How can it be so slow when there’s only four floors?! Renee’s mind screamed.
A bunch of kids piled out, heading for the pool, and Matt and Renee stepped in.
“Ever fooled around in an elevator before?” Matt asked once the doors closed, standing behind Renee and holding her loosely against his chest with an arm looped around her neck.
“Nope, only fantasized about it after reading the steamy elevator scene in Fifty Shades of Grey.”
This had Matt groaning and pulling her in even tighter with his other arm now wrapped around her waist. “Remind me to book a room in a taller hotel next time to give us a longer ride,” he replied as the door pinged open on his floor.
Renee led the way down the hushed corridor to the room she had briefly visited the day he arrived. He quickly unlocked the door, holding it open to let her enter the dark room ahead of him. He closed the door, throwing the deadbolt.
A slim column of light streamed through an open curtain, giving them enough light to see each other in silhouette. Matt crossed over to Renee and gently removed her inky blue shawl, tossing it onto the spare bed. Then he stepped behind her. The only sound in the room
was the slow whisper of the zipper of her dress as he eased it down. When her dress hung loose at her shoulders, he gave it a light push and it fell in a puddle to the floor, leaving her in nothing but her undergarments and heels. Moonlight created a stark contrast between her alabaster skin and the black lace of her bra and panties. Matt reached out and caressed her breast through the tempting lace. She leaned into his hand, her breast heavy in his palm. When she reached to pull his shirt out of his waistband, he captured her fingers.
“Wait. Not yet. I want you to see how beautiful you are, why I am so attracted to you.”
He again stood behind her, angling her slightly so she could see herself in the full-length mirror on the wall. There was something erotic about seeing herself standing in heels and black lace, a fully clothed male behind her, fondling her stomach and breasts. Her legs began to tremble as he continued his slow exploration of her body, and she felt like a voyeur watching it all unfold. He found the clasp between her breasts and gave it an expert twist. Tension released, the thin lace cups popped back, and her breasts fell loose. The chain of her long silver necklace was cold against her skin, and as it caught on an already sensitive nipple, it sent a shudder through her body.
“Are you cold?” Matt murmured, feeling the tremor.
With a nervous laugh, Renee assured him she was far from cold.
Ending the exquisite torture, he scooped her up and laid her down on the bed. He made quick work of stripping down and joining her. Together they explored each other the way they hadn’t taken the time to do before. There was no fear of someone walking in and discovering them this time. They made love slowly, enjoying each other and their private time.
***
Later, as they lay in each other’s arms, Renee thanked Matt.
“I don’t believe anyone has actually thanked me at a time like this before,” Matt laughed.
“That isn’t what I meant!” Renee said, embarrassed. “I meant . . . thank you for helping me realize how much I do want us to work out. It would be amazing to have you close. Now I hope you actually get the job, if you decide to throw your name in for it. I’m going to let myself get my hopes up, fear be damned. Have you decided what you want to do?”
“Sure have. I think this is the right next step. I’ll call Thompson tomorrow and let him know I want it, find out if I passed muster today with his cronies . . . though that interview felt like a formality. I’d be surprised if they didn’t offer it to me. Thompson’s recommendation carries a lot of weight.”
“Where will you live?”
Renee felt him shrug his shoulders beside her. “I’ll look for an apartment or small house I can rent. I don’t want to buy right away. I do think I will try to keep my place in Fiji as a rental, and I’ll have to keep my dad’s place up, too. Would you like to maybe help me look around a little tomorrow, get a sense for what’s available?”
“Maybe we could fix up the Gray Cabin,” Renee suggested, only half kidding, “and you could stay there for a while.”
“While the idea of living that close to you is tempting, I think there might end up being a bit too much testosterone out there right now.”
“What do you mean? The only other guy out there these days is Grant.”
“That is exactly what I mean.”
“Grant’s a nice guy!”
Matt laughed. “I’m sure he is. He also has a thing for you, and I’m not real crazy about it.”
“Oh, you are nuts. He does not have a thing for me! You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. He was my husband’s brother, Matt. Even if they never knew each other, that would be weird. I think of him as family, not like that—not like I think of you,” she assured Matt, snuggling in closer.
“While I’m glad to hear that, I can tell he isn’t any crazier about the idea of having me around than I am about him.”
Renee propped her head up on her fist. “I can’t kick them out, Matt.”
Matt leaned up and kissed the tip of her nose. “No, no, I would never ask you to do that. I honestly feel better having a man out there. Hope that doesn’t sound sexist because I don’t mean it to. But I don’t like it that he doesn’t think of you as a sister-in-law.”
Renee laid her head back down on Matt’s shoulder. “But how do you know that? Has he ever said anything to you about me?”
“Nope, didn’t have to. Trust me, I’m right about this,” Matt replied, stroking her hair. “But enough about Grant. Do you want to help me look at places tomorrow?”
“Yeah, that would be fun. But I suppose I better get home now . . . it’s getting late.”
Renee sat up, holding the sheet over her breasts as she flipped on the bedside lamp.
“You know . . . you could stay here. Julie made it pretty clear you had the green light to spend the night with me.”
“I know, but I don’t like the message that sends. You understand, don’t you?”
“I do.” Matt rolled to the edge of his side of the bed and stood, grabbing his pants off the chair and pulling them on. “Come on, I’ll take you home. Why don’t I sleep on your couch? Then I don’t have to drive all the way back here. Would that feel too awkward for you?”
Renee smiled at Matt, giving herself permission to enjoy the view of his naked chest as he stood facing her, hands resting on his hips.
“No, that would be fine. Julie and Jess aren’t dumb. They probably know right where we are about now, so if you spend the night on our couch, that isn’t going to make it any more or less awkward. Now, if Robbie were home, that might be a different story.”
Chapter 60
Gift of a Sixth Sense
The open house was tomorrow, but they weren’t ready and Renee was nervous as hell.
Matt would try to be back in time for it, but flight times would make it tight. She would like his moral support, but he had lots going on now, too. It had been a whirlwind few weeks since he told Thompson he was interested in the job. A few days after Matt flew back to Fiji, Sheriff Thompson suffered a minor heart attack and an emergency county commission meeting was held; all were impressed with Matt’s credentials, and they asked him to start as soon as possible. The office in Fiji was larger and there were deputies ready to step into Matt’s old role, so his superiors allowed him to give a two-week notice. The council had agreed to a six-month trial period, after which, if it went well, Matt would be installed as Thompson’s replacement for his remaining two-year term. After that, Matt would have to be elected to hold his position. All the stipulations made Renee nervous, but Matt already made up his mind he was moving. He was confident this job would work out, but if it didn’t, he assured her he could find something else. He didn’t see it as a big risk, and besides, one of the apartments Matt liked was still available. The pieces, he told her, were falling into place.
Renee considered calling him, but since her “to do” list was long and she knew he was probably busy moving out of his cottage, she decided against it. Half of the day had already slipped away.
***
Renee ran back to the duplex to check on the beef roast. She planned to make an easy dinner and use any leftovers to make sandwiches for her help—which would be most of her family—on Halloween.
“Honey, what are you doing?” Renee asked Julie as she entered the kitchen.
“Shit, Mom. You scared the crap out of me! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
Her daughter stood at the window over the sink, staring into the gloomy woods beyond. Shadows were lengthening, and Renee doubted Julie could see much.
“I didn’t sneak up on you. The door was locked and I had to use my key to get in. Molly was barking at me. Didn’t you hear any of that?”
“Um . . . no, I guess I didn’t. Sorry to snap at you.”
“Julie, is everything OK? I haven’t seen much of you today.”
“Oh, sure, everything’s fine. I’ve been working on games for tomorrow.”
Renee wasn’t entirely sure she believed her, but di
dn’t push it. She knew her daughter missed being away at college. After tomorrow, they needed to visit about Julie’s plans for the upcoming semester. They still didn’t know what happened on campus that night, but nothing unusual had happened at the resort since Julie had been back. It was time to get back into the routine of things.
Renee put potatoes in to bake and headed back to the lodge until dinner. Julie came along to wash apples. As they were leaving the kitchen, Julie’s phone vibrated but she said to leave it, she would check it later.
They went on with their night, and Julie forgot about her phone.
***
The main level of the lodge was set up to serve multiple purposes for the open house. Val would serve healthy snacks and meal samples while Jess hosted an information table about their retreats, answered questions, and explained their concept to those interested. Getting word out about their retreats was one of the main reasons for the Halloween open house. Two new sleeping rooms would also be open for display. Right now they were bare, with no linens on the beds or pictures on the walls—all details Jess planned to have done before the open house.
It was cold for October and the only cabin rented was to Grant and Grace. Grant and Luke would keep a bonfire burning and one of the kids would help keep s’more supplies stacked. Cabin #1 would be open for viewing.
In the lodge’s upstairs, the library looked amazing. It was, by far, Renee’s favorite room at the resort. They would open it for the public during the open house. Overstuffed loveseats and club chairs sat on a dense shag rug of deep burgundy. End tables were placed strategically to hold cups of tea or glasses of wine while guests immersed themselves in books of their choosing. The rest of the upper floor turned out better than Renee hoped as well. The view through the new windows, looking out over the lake, was magnificent.
Whispering Pines (Celia's Gifts Book 1) Page 38
