He looked over at Grace. She had taken off her hat, and the light breeze lifted the stray tendrils of her pale hair, making them dance in the golden sun. “That’s incredible,” she breathed softly.
“Yes, it is.” He’d wanted to point out the hardships, the struggle it had been to build the ranch, and still would be to restore it to working order. But all he’d done was bring back the past, making him feel the loss of his grandfather’s land even more keenly.
He turned abruptly, his arm hitting Grace in the shoulder. He hadn’t realized she was so close. She grasped his arm to steady herself, and on impulse, he reached out and brushed her cheek with his fingertips. Her warm skin felt silky to him, and it stirred something inside him that made him jerk back as if he’d been burned.
“Sorry,” he said quickly. “You weren’t going to fall.”
“I know,” she whispered, then her face twisted in a grimace. “My hat. I dropped it.”
He looked around, but no hat was in sight, then he went to the edge and looked down. Far below, caught in a clump of wild sage growing out of a split in the granite, was her hat. “There it is,” he pointed out, but she didn’t move. When he turned, Grace stood hugging herself, just staring at him. Then it hit him. “You’re acrophobic, aren’t you?”
She shook her head no but stopped. “Yes.”
He walked over to her. “You should have told me.”
Finally, she looked at him, her eyes wide. “I didn’t know until now,” she said. “I’ve never sat on a ledge like that before.”
He should have felt that he’d scored a point. Her land included property with rocky cliffs at high altitudes, and she couldn’t avoid them. But that didn’t seem to matter right now. All he cared about was the fear he saw in her eyes.
“Let’s go back,” he said.
She turned almost before he’d finished speaking and headed down to the horses. He followed her and untied the animals, holding the reins out to Grace. She reached for them with an unsteady hand, and he was hit by a jolt of protectiveness that came out of nowhere. “No more rides up here,” he said.
She bit her lip, like a child who was trying to control their emotions. And all he could think of was comforting her some way. But that wasn’t up to him. Not even close. “It was just such a drop,” she finally said in a barely audible voice.
“Now I know about you and heights, we’ll rethink our rides, okay.”
“Yes, thank you,” she said, and turned to Lucy, trying again to get up in the saddle.
He was hesitant to help her the way he had before. But when she sighed with frustration, he went over to her and lifted her up. For a moment, her body was close to his and even when she was in the saddle and he moved away, her fresh scent lingered.
The day was over for him. He needed to get her back to the ranch, to get some distance from her. He looked down at his hand holding the reins and his gold wedding band glinted in the light. He really needed to rethink his plans.
He took the direct route back, not following the property lines, and by the time they got to the old ranch, he was edgy. Every sound from Grace ran riot with his nerves, and he was aware of her behind him every moment. After what seemed forever, the old adobe came into sight.
“Thank you again for doing this for me,” she said in a rush.
He didn’t answer her, just shrugged and urged his horse in the direction of the house.
* * *
GRACE FROWNED AT Jack’s back as he rode off. Part of being a good waitress was being able to read your customers accurately. But Jack Carson had her stumped. She thought he’d wanted the land more than anything, that he’d make an offer, then keep at her until she gave up and sold it to him.
But he hadn’t even mentioned buying back the place. He’d made a joke about being a “backup plan” for her, but since then he hadn’t brought up the subject. As they’d overlooked the panorama of his family’s land, he’d spoken about his grandparents and their hard work with obvious pride. But he’d never once reminded her that she had what he wanted. Not once. And since she’d told him about her decision to try to make a go of it, she’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Maybe that was why she felt so edgy now. Why she’d overreacted when he’d accidently bumped her. Why she’d let him steady her. She didn’t know, and found she didn’t want to spend time figuring it out. She had enough to worry about without wondering why Jack Carson acted the way he did.
They passed the house and rode down to the stables. Grace half expected Jack just to keep going.
She managed to get off the horse herself, lifting her right leg over the saddle, then sliding down until her boots hit the ground. Not graceful, but she’d done it.
Jack dismounted, too. “Let’s leave Lucy here until we’ve finished the perimeter rides. Is that okay with you?”
“I guess so. Parrish has some stalls cleaned.”
“Okay.” He dropped his horse’s reins and took Lucy’s from Grace.
She followed him and the horse into the hushed stables. No one was around, not Lilly, or Grace’s mother, or Parrish. She thought they were probably in the house. Jack led the horse back near the tack area, lightly looped her leads over a wooden rail and methodically unsaddled her. Quietly, he went about rubbing her down, talking to her in a low voice as he worked, then spoke without turning to Grace.
“The Paint’s gone.”
She looked around. He was right. Mosi’s stall was empty. “I didn’t see them outside anywhere, did you?”
“No,” he said, putting the brushes back on their hooks.
“You don’t suppose they’d let Lilly try to ride the horse, do you?”
“You got it for her to ride,” he pointed out as he tossed the saddle blanket over the side of the nearest stall.
“Yes, but—” She backed up against the wall as Jack led the horse over to an empty stall. “Lilly needs lessons and—” All she could think of was her own first horseback ride, and how it had left her with bad memories.
His dark eyes met hers with an intensity that took her aback. “If you’re going to live this life, sometimes you just have to let things happen,” he said, then reached for the stall door and led Lucy inside.
He came out, secured the door, then Grace said, “So they just let kids do anything they want out here, even things that can hurt them.” She hated the way her tone got louder and accusatory.
Jack shook his head. “Of course not, but ease up. She’s with your mother, obviously, and probably Parrish, who seems to be very capable. So, things are good until you find out they aren’t.”
She actually heard herself say, “You have to have a child to understand what it feels like to be a parent.”
She literally wanted to put a hand over her mouth, hating the way Jack’s features tightened, his eyes narrowed. He hit the lock on the stall door, the sound of metal on metal clanging in the air. “Then I don’t understand,” he muttered.
Why had she said that, knowing what Mallory had told her about Jack and his wife. She couldn’t believe how callous her comment was, how out of line. But just one look at Jack’s face and she knew an apology wouldn’t amount to anything. Instead, all she could think of was a vague generality that was better than nothing. “I’m just a bit overprotective.”
“She’s your responsibility,” he said and walked out.
She hurried after him, and by the time she caught up, he was on his horse, starting toward the driveway. She didn’t get a chance to say or do anything else before he said over his shoulder, “See you in the morning.”
“Wait, I’m not sure about the morning.”
That stopped him. He reined his horse around, looking back at her. “What?”
“I got Lilly registered at school yesterday,” she called without going over to him. “She starts tomorrow. I can’t leave until she’s in school.”
He was very still, then nodded. Okay, we’ll wait until then.” Without another word he turned, riding off down th
e driveway.
Grace stared after him, still feeling badly about what she’d said. Then she realized he didn’t know what time Lilly started school. Maybe he wouldn’t be back tomorrow. She almost couldn’t blame him if he didn’t show up.
Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, she thought as she headed to the house, hurting all over with each step. She needed a long, hot bath, but first she had to find her mother and Lilly. As she went inside, she took out her cell phone and called her mother.
Gabriella picked up on the third ring. “Hi, Grace,” she said in a slightly breathless voice.
She stopped. “Mom, where are you and Lilly?”
The rush of wind sounded in the background, and she could hear Lilly laughing. “Out by the water station for the eastern grazing area.”
She sounded as if she had been on the land all her life. Without asking what a “water station” was, Grace got to the most important question. “What’s going on with the horse? It’s not in its stall.”
“Lilly got tired of talking to her through the stall door, and Parrish had an idea. Instead of Lilly hanging out at the stables until you got back from your ride, we all went on a walk, and Lilly is very, very happy and excited.”
“And she’s not riding Mosi?”
“No, no, we’re leading her, walking her behind us. Parrish said it’s a good way for Lilly and the horse to get to know each other. You know, bond.” Grace could hear Parrish in the background. “Parrish says we’ll be another hour or two, if that’s okay? I need a breather before we start the trek back.”
“That’s fine,” she said, relief leaving her weak in the legs. Then she had a thought. “What about snakes? Have you all got on good footwear?”
“Yes, we’re properly shod,” Gabriella said. “And we all have sticks with us.”
She had no idea how sticks would help in a snake encounter, and maybe she didn’t want to know. “See you in a while.”
After hanging up, she started the tub and stripped out of her dusty clothes. But even after a hot bath, she couldn’t get past the lingering guilt of her comment to Jack. After she’d dried and dressed in shorts and a blue tank top, she padded barefoot into the bedroom and started to put away some odds and ends. When she opened the bottom drawer in her dresser, she expected it to be empty.
Instead she found a cardboard box, maybe twelve inches square, an old shoe lace tied around it. She stared at her name, Grace Anne, printed on it in faded ink.
She didn’t know how long she stood there just staring at the box in the drawer. Finally, she crouched down and touched it, then picked it up, and sat on the floor cross-legged. Shock had started to give way to something akin to sadness. Her dad must have put it there. That meant he’d come to the ranch at least once.
With shaking hands, she tugged on the shoe lace and opened the lid. An old photo album lay inside, innocuous enough, but almost paralyzing Grace. She had to force herself to take it out. But even when the album lay on her crossed legs, she couldn’t make herself open it.
“Silly,” she muttered to herself. If she hadn’t been meant to find it, it wouldn’t be here. It was that simple. But nothing was simple as she finally made herself lift the cover and open the book. She was startled to see that the pictures carefully secured to the first few pages were of her as a baby, some with her mother, two of her alone.
She’d seen the photos before. They were copies of pictures her mother had. But from the fourth page on, the photos were new to her. They were obviously taken from a distance, the first one a shot of her starting school, then a photo for each year until the fourth grade. The next one was of her junior high school graduation. Then a leap to her high school graduation. Two months later, a shot of her going into the restaurant where she got her first waitressing job near L.A.’s Civic Center.
She turned the page, almost thankful to find the rest of the book empty. She flipped through the photos again, then closed the book and reached for the box to put it away. But she knew the surprises weren’t over when she spotted a couple of loose photos lying in the bottom of the box.
Her heart tightened to almost breaking when she picked them up. The first one was of her holding a year-old Lilly on her lap on a park bench while her mother offered the baby a rattle. When she looked at the second picture, she started to shake. She’d never seen the photo before. She was a toddler, maybe two or three years old, held high in her father’s arms. As soon as she saw him in the picture, she remembered the wiry man who always wore jeans and T-shirts. A baseball cap was pulled low and shadowed his face, but the smile on his lips was clear.
The photo dropped from her fingers and fluttered to the floor. Tears overtook her so suddenly and fiercely that she couldn’t get her breath. Her father had left, and turned his back on everything he should have loved beyond reason, yet he hadn’t lost track of her all these years. He’d been watching her—or had someone else watch her from a distance. Yet, even now, he hadn’t made a move to contact her personally.
When she heard her mother’s voice calling Lilly to come inside, Grace moved quickly, swiping at her eyes and fumbling to hide the album and pictures. She barely had them in the box when she heard the front door shut, and a child’s footsteps coming in her direction. She pushed the box under the bed, got to her feet and grabbed a tissue from the nightstand. Quickly, she blew her nose, then the door to her bedroom burst open and Lilly flew in.
“Mama, Mama, Mama,” she cried, running to Grace and almost knocking her over with a hug. “We went horse-walking and saw a lizard!”
She drew back and grabbed Grace’s hand. “Come on. Come see Mosi. She’s real happy.”
Grace’s mother was there, in the doorway, frowning over Lilly’s head as she studied Grace. “Problems?” she asked, not coming any closer.
“Just allergies,” she said, blowing her nose again.
“Oh, sure,” her mother said, but made it clear by her tone that she didn’t believe her for one second.
Lilly was tugging hard on her hand, impatient to get back out to the horse. “Mama, please!”
“Okay,” Grace said. “Just a peek, then we need to get some food on the table.”
Gabriella moved back into the hallway. “I’ll get that started, and you go and visit Mosi with Lilly.”
“Okay,” Grace said. She went back in her room and grabbed her camera, then headed down to the stables with Lilly.
Grace had never been one to take pictures of everyday life, but now she wanted shots of Lilly with the horse, with the cat, with Parrish. Maybe she could take pictures on her perimeter rides with Jack. She wanted to record these memories—for Lilly and herself, forever.
* * *
THAT EVENING, SLEEP didn’t come easily for Grace, not after showing her mother the box of photos after Lilly was in bed. It had been hard on both women.
She’d put the box back in the dresser, and walked away from it. She’d look at it again, but not for some time. In bed, she couldn’t relax, partly because her mind refused to stop racing, and partly because her bottom hurt.
She wasn’t sure she could make it through another ride, but she wanted so much to see the rest of the ranch. She imagined Jack having to carry her into the house after a second day on the horse. And her last thought before she finally fell asleep was that being carried in Jack’s arms wouldn’t be so bad, not at all.
CHAPTER TWELVE
WHEN GRACE WOKE at dawn, she tiptoed down the hallway, grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, and went back to the bathroom to get dressed. She closed the door, took off the oversize T-shirt she slept in, and then turned to the sink. In the mirror that fronted the medicine cabinet, she looked at herself. She could see the redness of sunburn on her nose, chin and forehead, her skin exposed after she’d lost the hat. She’d have to try and get another one soon.
She found the sunscreen and applied it liberally, changed into her jeans, a short-sleeved shirt and boots.
Two hours later, Lilly was on the small bus on he
r way to school. Grace stood on the front porch and saw Jack riding up the driveway. She had her camera hanging around her neck.
He lifted a hand in greeting, and Grace went down to the stables to meet him. She decided not to speak until she reached him. She wanted to gauge his mood, see if things were still a bit off between them because of her thoughtless words.
But Jack seemed relaxed as she approached. “I didn’t know how to saddle Lucy or I would have tried,” she explained.
“Wait a minute,” he said, touching her shoulder as she turned into the stables.
The sun was at his back, and she had to squint to see him. “What’s wrong?” she asked, certain he was going to beg off.
“Me,” he said, and she noticed he looked tired. Fine lines that hadn’t been there yesterday bracketed his eyes and mouth. “If you aren’t feeling good, we don’t have to go today,” she said.
“It’s not that.” He gave a heavy sigh. “I want to apologize to you.”
That stopped her dead. “What for?”
“I should never have said what I did about your child yesterday.”
She didn’t know what to say. He was apologizing to her when she knew it should be the other way around. “You beat me to it,” she said.
“To what?”
“Apologizing. I sounded so....” She shrugged, not about to bring up the fact he didn’t have kids again. “I’m just sorry I overreacted. Everything was fine with Lilly. They were out walking the horse.”
“That’s good to hear,” he said. “Can we just figure this is a wash between us?”
“Yes, please,” she agreed.
He stared at her for a moment, then touched her shoulder again. “Let’s get Lucy ready.”
Grace watched Jack carefully as he dressed out Lucy, and thought she might be able to do it herself with a little instruction. Jack moved so easily, cinching and adjusting the saddle and finally throwing it onto Lucy’s back. He did up the buckles, smoothed the saddle blanket, and checked the foot holders. Stirrups, that’s what they were called.
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