What's Her Secret?

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  Jaska had indeed set me free.

  It seemed strange that he’d dropped me home this evening. I’d quickly gotten used to being at his house, forgetting, for the most part, I had my own, and a life I’d led without him in it for six days of the week. He’d always been on my mind, though—and in my heart.

  It would be different now. We’d discussed introducing other elements into our relationship, like meals out, trips to the theater, the whole dating thing. I looked forward to it, getting to know the other sides of him he’d kept hidden before. And I looked forward to letting him get to know me.

  My bed, it isn’t the same as the one in his dungeon. Isn’t as comfortable, and the sheets aren’t so crisp, the quilt as puffy. But I’ll be back there tomorrow, he’d said, as he had plans, if I was willing, to use the studded paddle.

  I was more than willing.

  * * * *

  “Look,” Fiona said, wiping a crumb of bread from the corner of her mouth while we sat in the pub eating lunch. “I don’t want to pry, but you seem different today. It’s Monday, you shouldn’t be so bloody jolly. And you’ve always been such a secretive person. What’s that all about? I just can’t work you out.”

  I swallowed the mouthful of quiche I’d been eating, glanced around at the other girls, who were listening intently, then smiled. She didn’t want to pry? I stifled a laugh.

  As kindly as I could, I said, “Do you always feel the need to know everything about people?”

  She had the grace to blush. “No! It’s just that, well, we all have a good natter about ourselves and you never do. I don’t really know a thing about you.”

  “Maybe that’s because I don’t want you to.” I smiled again to take the sting out of my words. “I don’t mean to sound rude, but it isn’t your right to get answers out of me. Some people like keeping their private life private.”

  “Oh. Right. Well, you should have said.” She took a bite of her sandwich, looking at everyone else and shrugging as though she wasn’t bothered by what I’d said.

  “I did try, using tact, to let you know I wasn’t willing to share my secret with you. Secrets aren’t meant to be shared, are they?”

  My phone trilled, mercifully preventing her from answering. I took it out of my bag and looked at the name at the top of the message box. Jaska.

  I miss you, pet.

  I missed him too, more than I’d thought possible. I had the urge to get up and walk out. To return to work and get the day finished so being with him this evening came quicker.

  “So you have got a fancy man,” Fiona said, leaning toward me and staring at my phone. “And aww, he calls you pet. Is he from up north then? Newcastle way?”

  I slid my phone into my bag, annoyed that she’d violated my privacy in such a way. Asking questions was one thing, but reading my texts? “No, he isn’t. He doesn’t call me that for the reason you’d think.” I cursed myself for letting a part of my personal life out. I stood, the quiche no longer appealing, and readied myself to return to work.

  “Lunchtime isn’t over yet,” Fiona said.

  “It is for me.”

  “And you’ve got quiche left. Can I eat your quiche?” she called.

  I left the pub without answering and walked around the back to the car park. Despite the cold—a bit of a nip to the air, although once the storm had finished we’d had no more rain—I sat on a wall that separated the pub garden from the tarmac. I took my phone out and told Jaska I missed him too, that I wished he was here to take away the irritation I was feeling with regards to Fiona. I understood she was young, that to her, sharing the ins and outs of everything was the norm, but she had to learn that not everyone felt the same.

  Do you need me? he replied.

  I do, but I have to go back to work in half an hour.

  That’s long enough. Where are you?

  That pub on Stretford Road. Jouster’s Arms. Know it?

  I do. See you in five minutes, pet.

  Suddenly my day didn’t seem like it would drag on, although the time between reading his last text and me seeing his car swerve into the car park did. I stood, heart fluttering madly, my knees going weak. I put one hand on top of the wall to steady myself. God, how he affected me. He drew up and parked, and I ran to his car, flinging open the passenger door and throwing myself inside. The scent of his aftershave filled the small space, and I breathed it in as I looked at him.

  His eyes twinkled, as though they held the secret that he, too, hadn’t been able to wait until tonight for us to meet. He’d tidied his stubble since last night, and I knew it would be prickly and hard against my skin, just the way I liked it.

  “You look good in your office clothes, Lori.”

  His words, his voice, had my chest tightening.

  “Thank you, Sir,” I said breathlessly. “You look good in yours too. Always do in a suit.”

  “You’ve never seen me wearing anything else.”

  And I hadn’t. He’d worn a pair of trousers and a shirt all weekend. “Perhaps we need to fix that, Sir.”

  “There is no perhaps about it.” He smiled then narrowed his eyes. “Kiss me, sub.”

  I leaned across, the gearstick digging into my hip, and pressed my lips to his. His stubble did indeed feel hard and prickly. Everything melted away as he slid his tongue into my mouth and roved his hand up and down my back. He brought his other between us to seek out one of my nipples and gave it a hard tweak. I gasped against his lips and pushed closer to him, lifting my hand to sink it into his hair. I wanted to take his clothes off, to straddle him there and then and ride him ragged while he slapped my arse and sucked my nipples.

  He ended the kiss, out of breath, and pushed my head down so my cheek rested on his chest. We stayed like that for a moment, me content—so content—and him stroking my hair, still playing with my nipple. I closed my eyes and let our closeness swamp me, knowing I had to keep hold of that feeling so it would be enough to carry me through the afternoon.

  “I never knew love would feel like this, pet.”

  I raised one hand to circle over his shirt where his nipple was beneath. It rose quickly, and I smiled.

  “Me neither,” I said.

  “It’s frightening and wonderful at the same time.” He twirled my hair around his fingers then tugged hard. “And it’s funny, but you don’t have the fiery temper to go with this hair of yours.”

  “I might have. Maybe you just haven’t done anything to set me off.”

  “Ah, we have so much to discover, sub.”

  He pulled my hair again, and a flurry of desire slashed through me.

  “I like that, Sir.”

  “I know you do.” He pulled again. “Perhaps tonight, after we’ve eaten dinner, I can treat you to a good wrenching on your hair while I paddle your backside.”

  Just the thought had me wet and ready for him. “You could.”

  “But is that what you want?”

  “It is.”

  “Tell me how you want it to go.”

  Still with my eyes closed, I said, “I want you to strap me to the cross, so I face the wood. You’d have the studded paddle in one hand, my hair in the other, and every time you hit me with the paddle you’d pull at my hair.” I could feel how it would be, the sharp tugs, the even sharper bites of the paddle. “My cunt aches when you do that, Sir. Pulling my hair, I mean.”

  “So it’s aching now?” He gave it a short, sudden yank.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “And you’re wet.”

  “I am.”

  “Good.” He paused for a moment, then said, “You need to keep your eye on the time, pet.”

  I opened my eyes to look at the dashboard. I had ten minutes to get back to work. It took that long to walk there from here. “I have to go, Sir.”

  “You do.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “I don’t want you to. Sit back on your seat and close your eyes.”

  I pulled away from him and did as he’d commanded, d
ying to ask why.

  “Open your legs, sub.”

  Again, I obeyed, parting my legs as best I could in my pencil skirt. Anticipation thrummed through me, and I breathed shallowly to keep control of the excitement skittering in my belly. I heard something click open and tried to work out when I’d heard a sound like that before.

  “You’re going to be late for work, pet, but only a little.”

  Something heavy—a small box, perhaps—was placed on the taut platform my skirt had become. Another click, then Jaska slid one hand between my legs, using a finger to swipe my gusset to one side.

  “I have a gift for you,” he said. “Get ready to take it.”

  The coldness of metal touched the opening of my cunt then slipped inside. Pleasure balls. My channel swallowed them up, and I clenched my internal muscles to urge them higher as he pushed them farther in. I panted through my need for this to go to the next level, for him to bring me off quickly.

  “You must wear them until we meet tonight. You will not come.”

  I nodded, words failing me.

  “And now I have something else. Keep your eyes closed.”

  Yet another click sounded then Jaska taking a deep, steady breath. Coolness touched my neck, and immediately I knew what he’d placed there. I struggled to hold off tears, but one broke free and sailed down my cheek.

  “Open your eyes,” he said.

  I did and stared at him, at his smile and expression of contentment. I lifted one hand to touch the collar, and he handed me a small mirror.

  “This isn’t the kind you will wear around my house,” he said. “This is your public collar. The one that won’t have people asking you to tell them your secret.”

  I glanced at the mirror. The collar was a choker, diamond-studded for the most part, interspersed with rubies.

  “To match your hair, pet.”

  I allowed the tears to fall and touched my lips to his—softly, barely there.

  “Now return to work,” he said, back in Dom mode. “You will walk there, getting used to those balls, and you will spend the entire afternoon staving off orgasm. When you get home from work I expect you to kneel for one hour. I will call you, as usual, and then I will pick you up. Those balls will enhance your experience later with the paddle. Imagine it as you do your work. Imagine me thinking about you.” He pressed a hard kiss to my lips. “So go, pet. My pet.”

  I wanted to stay with him, to rest for a while, to savor the special moment we’d just had, but his order ensured I got out of the car. I stood on the tarmac and, as I watched him reverse out of his space, lifted one hand to the roots of my hair to massage my sore scalp. He stared at me through the passenger window, and just by looking at him I knew it was going to be hard for him to drive away. As hard as it would be for me to walk back to work and face any questions about where my ‘necklace’ had come from, since I hadn’t been wearing it this morning.

  But those questions would be easily swatted away.

  He waved and drove off, and I stood there watching him go until the back of his car was no longer visible. Far from feeling lonely, I walked back to work enjoying the sensations in my cunt, knowing I’d fill Jaska’s mind all afternoon as he’d fill mine. Five short hours before I could go home and kneel. Another hour or so after that before I’d see him again.

  I went back into the office and sat at my desk, my cheeks hot and my cunt throbbing. Fiona approached and eyed my collar, but surprisingly, she didn’t say a thing. I was past caring what she thought.

  I had better things to think about.

  Like a studded paddle smacking into my arse. Jaska pulling my hair while pleasure balls drove me crazy. The warmth from the wood of the St Andrews seeping into my already overheated skin.

  I was his pet and always would be.

  Tonight, and the rest of my life with Jaska, couldn’t come soon enough.

  About the Author

  Natalie Dae is a multi-published author in three pen names writing several genres. She lives with her husband, children, and three cats in an English village. She writes full time and is also a cover artist and blog designer. In another life she was an editor. Her other pen names are Sarah Masters and Charley Oweson.

  Email: [email protected]

  Natalie loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.totallybound.com.

  Also by Natalie Dae

  A Gentleman’s Harlot

  Shadow and Darkness

  Fantasies Explored: Think Kink

  Fantasies Explored: Thinking Kinkier

  Fantasies Explored: Kinky Thinking

  The Coterie: Lincoln’s Woman

  Stiff Upper Lip: Minute Maid

  Bound to the Billionaire: Waiting for Him

  With Lily Harlem

  That Filthy Book

  With Sam Crescent

  Shades of Grey

  Forced Assassin

  Rude Awakening

  ASHES TO FLAMES

  Nichelle Gregory

  Dedication

  Dedicated to my husband and to every heart brave enough to rise from the ashes after being burned by the flames of love.

  Trademarks Acknowledgement

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmark mentioned in this work of fiction:

  Grindr: Grindr LLC

  Chapter One

  The melodious chimes echoed in the quiet library, startling Sabria even though she was accustomed to the insistent alarm emanating from the device around her wrist. The library was the last place she’d wanted to be when the alert had gone off, but it had happened sooner than she’d calculated. Flustered, she slammed the book down with a muttered curse. She pulled up the sleeve of her cashmere sweater and the slim gold band around her wrist gleamed in the sunlight pouring in from the huge window beside her table.

  “Come on, be quiet.” Sabria pushed in the numerical sequence to silence the alarm before it got louder. She gave an apologetic look to the elderly man glancing up from his book to look at her.

  Her hand shook as she punched in the last of the code and she breathed a sigh of relief when the device finally fell silent.

  “That’s some watch you’ve got there,” the gray-haired man whispered with a conspiratorial wink.

  “Thanks,” Sabria said with a quick smile, thinking he had no idea. Her ‘watch’ was also capable of predicting the small window of time she had left to find Jai. Where are you, Jai?

  She’d been searching for him for almost twelve months, using the innate sense she had of her mate to narrow down his location. This time around, it had been harder to track and hold onto his aura.

  Why?

  Sabria placed her head in her hands, closed her eyes and drew in a few deep breaths. He was alive. She knew that without question, but she wondered if he was hurt, wishing he could search for her like she was for him. Sabria pushed her energy toward Jai, centering all her thoughts on her mate.

  Come to me, Jai.

  With a shaky sigh, Sabria opened her eyes. She had to remain focused no matter how hopeless things seemed. He was close by. She could feel it. This wasn’t the first time it had taken her longer than expected to find him.

  But this is the first time you’ve doubted you would locate him before time runs out.

  Five days. That was all the time she had left.

  Impossible.

  Sabria stood up. She’d wallow in despair when there was no more time left. Right now, she still had a chance. She pushed her notebook and camera into her bag, taking one last look at the stack of books she’d been rifling through. The elderly man across from her was still staring at her and Sabria resisted the urge to stick out her tongue as she moved past him, giving him another smile instead.

  Her accelerated heartbeat matched the click of her heeled boots as she walked toward the bathroom. She pushed open the door, wrinkling her nose at the lemon air freshener wafting in the air. The lav
atory was empty and Sabria was grateful for the solitude. She was burning up. The need for water almost consumed her uneasiness as she stepped up to the sink. She turned on the faucet, enjoying the cold water running over her hands. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and stared at her reflection, transfixed.

  It was never easy adjusting to her appearance. Almost a year had gone and she still frowned whenever she looked in the mirror.

  Sabria reached up to touch her long, wavy auburn tresses, vaguely wondering if Jai would approve. She looked completely different. Her eyes were green, but they’d been brown before. Sabria stared at her pale, unblemished skin, still unaccustomed to seeing anything other than the warm shade of cinnamon she’d last been for so many years before.

  Change was something her kind had always endured, but it got harder to deal with each time it happened. She wondered what Jai looked like and if he’d recognize some part of her when she finally found him.

  “And I will find you,” Sabria said, watching her green irises shimmer brighter and brighter with flecks of gold.

  She closed her eyes, willing herself to relax. The last thing she needed was to draw any more attention to herself. She exhaled and opened her eyes, pleased to see they were once again a normal shade of green. Sabria wet a paper towel and moaned with delight when she pressed the towel to her face. The damp coolness was heaven on her hot cheeks.

  Minutes ticked by before she forced herself to pitch the paper towel into the trash. She exited the bathroom without a backward glance to the mirror. It didn’t matter what she or Jai looked like—they knew each other’s soul and he would know who she was the moment he laid eyes on her.

  Sabria made her way to the lobby of the library, ready to check out each coffee shop she’d cataloged using her cell phone. She pushed through the heavy glass doors and stepped out into the crisp fall air, ignoring the colorful leaves blowing around her. This was her favorite season, but she took no solace in the decorative harvest decorations and beautifully carved pumpkins on display as she walked down the busy street.

 

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