by R. Cooper
“But, Ray—”
“Now.”
He did. Ray’s tone apparently saying clearly that he’d had enough. Cal wasn’t pouting this time but genuinely frowning. With worry, Ray knew that, but he didn’t breathe easier until Cal had closed the door behind him.
Then he exhaled so hard his hands shook.
HE WENT home, but he was barely inside for half an hour before he knew the sight of his living room, his bedroom, and especially his bathroom weren’t going to let him sleep, no matter how tired he was.
He hesitated over a few numbers, friends, hook ups from a long time ago, Lex, and then swore and decided work would have to do. He called Nasreen again and wasn’t surprised when she didn’t answer. It could mean anything: that she was busy, that she didn’t like being involved with the police, that she didn’t like Ray. She wasn’t in any trouble that he knew of.
Nonetheless, he was awake, and his protective instincts, along with a few others he intended on continuing to deny, were on overdrive, so he slipped his coat back on with sudden urgency and grabbed his keys. He’d known deep down without Cal saying so that she would testify or do whatever she had to for Audrey—Miss Conti. But he still had to see that she was all right.
Any half-fairy could mock him for being soft and too worried later. He was in the fairy part of town in minutes, driving past strings of decorative mini-lights, and yard upon yard of twirling ribbons that had been strung around all the streetlights, and a succession of trees almost always in bloom no matter what time of year it was, and grassy lots filled with flowers and ponds and toadstools.
Los Cerros was supposedly proud of its vibrant fairy community, had even renamed the central street in this neighborhood Seelie Court in their honor. Yet it had taken someone as well-known and connected as Cal’s father to get the city and the PD to even consider a fairy consultant at the department in lieu of an actual fairy officer. It was no wonder the police weren’t exactly trusted by other Beings, why even Cal would assume that Ray would reject his presence out of hand when they’d first met.
Ray could have, though not for the reasons Cal had thought then. All the warnings, explanations, caveats, that Cal’s father had given him had not been enough to prepare Ray for the sparkly, half-dressed tease flirting with him one minute and revealing too much knowledge about him and the case the next.
Three days. It had taken Ray three days to see the obvious when he should have known it from the second he’d first stumbled over his own words to stare at Cal like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, like pure joy, even with his arms crossed and a sulky expression on his face right until he’d turned to meet Ray.
Of course, he was the most beautiful thing Ray had ever seen, but at the time Ray had just thought it was the fairy allure. The glamour. The same thing that had made Cal smell so good to him, had made his every word somehow innately fascinating. Now of course, he knew that his body had been trying to tell him what his brain had still been figuring out: that Cal was everything he’d ever wanted.
It was no wonder that he’d let himself be taken off guard by Cal’s appearance in his home. Standing there in pants he’d had to throw on, with his house filled with the scents of the sex he’d just had with another man, the truth had finally hit him and hit him hard.
Ray swallowed.
If he wanted, Cal could be close to him that very moment, giving him that look he had first given him in the station, like Ray was chocolate wrapped in gold foil. Cal most likely lived around here. Ray wasn’t sure, but it was easy to picture. He’d never been to Cal’s house as he’d never let himself look at Cal’s address information, not trusting the wolf not to find it on those bright nights and claim it, to run in and claim Cal too. But he thought of it now, Cal could be close. If he wanted it would only take minutes to find him. He could apologize for everything: lying, kicking him out of his car, his home, or just pull him up and give Cal the kiss he’d been asking for, for the past two years.
Instead, he parked the car, yanking up the parking break with too much force.
There was a cacophony of scent hitting him from all directions the moment he was out of the car. Baked goods and days at the beach and the perfect bowl of ramen noodles. Violets and cannabis and pure, clean soap. Peppermint. Baby powder. Yet he wouldn’t even have to try hard to find Cal among all of that perfection.
Fighting away the thought because that wasn’t why he was there, he arrived at Nasreen’s doorstep, knocking and hoping the information on her state ID was correct. He had no idea why he jumped when she swung open the door. But he started, almost guiltily.
Her fairy allure was stronger up close. She’d put on a short, toga-like robe to answer the door, but it fell off one shoulder. Her legs were visible above the knee. She smelled less of candy now, outside the shop, and more like starry nights, the moon on the water, but her sparkle was like polished sand. He detected salt too, faint and bitter, but this time he knew the source. Her eyes were barely dimmed by the tinge of red around them.
It stole his breath. He had never seen a fairy’s tears. He hadn’t believed they were real. He instantly wanted to know who had made her cry and punch him in the face and then wasn’t certain if it was just the sight of her tears or his usual tendencies to hunt down criminals.
Branigan on the hunt. Cal, naturally, hadn’t been too far off with that statement.
“Detective!” Nasreen hopped back only to pounce forward when he stepped inside. “Wait, what, is it Audrey? Has he come back? Has he hurt her? That ass—”
“It’s fine. She’s fine. That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you all day.” Ray stared until she was still, or at least everything about her but her wings and glitter were still, then glanced around her house. It was tiny. He instantly had the urge to hunch his shoulders.
“We caught him, and he’s not getting out anytime soon. I made sure of it.” His huff of air was almost a satisfied growl. Nasreen stopped.
“Do you do that for everyone? This, for everyone? Show up at their house and call them and….” She waved a hand. She could have at least said thank you. Ray focused on the wisteria vine that was growing through a cracked window inside her house. It wasn’t his job to repair her home. “Is this because of Cal, because….”
“I just wanted you to know. He’s in jail. Audr—Miss Conti is safe. You’re safe.” Her eyes were steady on him, and he remembered anew that one of the fairy curses was supposed to be showing people the truth. It was just a story of course, but he had to tear his eyes away from the creeping vine to stare impassively back at her. “If you’d answered my calls, I would have said it over the phone. She’s safe.” He was actually surprised that she hadn’t already known that. Somehow he’d assumed that she’d be with Audrey or would have seen her in the past hours.
But then it wasn’t a surprise, not after seeing the shimmering trails on her cheeks, knowing as he did that Audrey hadn’t accepted her attentions.
Nasreen instantly relaxed, melting down onto her sofa and then blinking back up at him.
“I am so very glad to hear that,” she admitted with a sigh, as though that hadn’t been obvious to everyone. “Audrey is… I have not found anyone like her. Not in my lifetime.”
Again, the loveliness of Miss Conti’s hands aside, Ray didn’t understand it. Maybe it was simply that he preferred men. Or maybe fairies just liked to chase after what they couldn’t have, which was a weak argument even in his own mind, because there was nothing guaranteed to make you more miserable than wanting what you couldn’t have, and fairies were never miserable for long if they could help it.
He tossed his head, then gestured for Nasreen to close her robe, a gesture she ignored or didn’t comprehend. Ray went back to the case, the work.
He wanted a scotch. Maybe he ought to drop in on Calvin Parker when this was over. He and Cal had their disagreements, mostly over Cal’s career from what Ray could tell, but Ray had always found that a talk with Calvin Parker got him bac
k on point.
“You’ll have to testify to keep him there. ID him out of a photo lineup.” Ray should have brought one with him. If he’d been more professional and not distracted he would have. If he’d had any real reasons to be here right now except that he couldn’t sleep and a curiosity he ought to be denying. He refocused. “I just want to warn you, it won’t be pleasant, the trial, but….”
“I don’t care.” Nasreen stuck out her chin. “Audrey will need me with her, and I want that man to go away and leave her alone.”
Ray was pretty sure that disbelief was all over his face despite his efforts to hide it. Nasreen’s mouth flattened, only for a heartbeat or two, then she was smiling. She shrugged, and her robe slipped. Possibly on purpose. Ray looked away, looked back when she scolded him. “We aren’t as bad as people have made us out to be. Why do they always act as if we were made of….” She gestured for a word.
“Spun sugar?” Ray suggested weakly, and she huffed.
“Yes. Even you, Detective.”
“I don’t—” He’d once tried to convince Cal he liked fairies but had long since given up. It was less complicated than the truth. “I know. I know there are… exceptions.”
She made a noise, and Ray shifted as he changed the subject.
“I looked up your name, what it meant. It’s very pretty.” There wasn’t a single rose in her house, however. He didn’t think about Cal’s house, if he had a yard filled with flowers in every color. “I know most fairies have floral names, but….” It was too hard to explain his ongoing game with Cal. But he thought she knew from how she considered him. She sat up pulling her feet underneath her.
“One of the few old stories that is not true is the one about knowing our names. You know, having power over us if you know them.”
He hadn’t known that one, but he snorted.
“Old stories about werewolves are almost never true,” he remarked, and pulled at his tie. He loosened the knot. The lies still hurt. He looked over, back at the broken window.
“But most of ours are. It’s the new ones that don’t make sense.”
Ray stopped thinking about old movies and fixing her window to stare at her. She wasn’t really suggesting that fairies kidnapped people by dazzling them with magic until years had gone by, was she?
She bounced to her feet and skipped back to her kitchen. “In the time that we didn’t live with humans, they forgot everything. They live such short lives.” She tutted as she returned, then extended a thin china plate filled with pieces of what smelled like nougat. “Candy?”
“No, thank you.” His stomach twisted at the thought of candy, except possibly the strawberry cream on Cal’s mouth. It had been so tantalizing close. He changed his mind and grabbed some nougat before he could stop himself and chewed to banish the scent memory on his tongue.
“Cal has a favorite, you know,” Nasreen volunteered, making Ray’s heart kick. She sucked on her nougat as she returned the plate to her kitchen. “He loves it all, but he likes it best when I make Rahat El Halkum—Turkish Delight.” She giggled as she came back in to drape herself over the couch. She had a new piece of candy in her other hand, a pale pink cube, and she was licking confectioner’s sugar from her fingertips. Ray glared at her, fairy or not.
“I’m not here to talk about Cal.”
“Really?” She giggled again.
“If we could be serious here.” It was a losing battle and he knew it. “About the case….” It was a familiar tactic, and she got the same look in her eye that Cal always did, like it was time Ray gave up the fight because she had all the time in the world, and he was only going to exhaust himself. He clenched his jaw anyway. “Look, you don’t trust me, the police, but we caught him, and we will make sure you are safe—Audrey is safe.”
His slight emphasis finally made her tilt her head and pull her fingers from her mouth. She lifted her eyebrows imperiously once again, but only for one second. Then she gave him a soft smile.
“I would like that. I would like that very much. Audrey is….” She sighed. “I did not know she had been married before. Humans. I get so confused when they say they will marry forever, and then it does not last. But he clearly doesn’t deserve her. Maybe that’s why she didn’t mention it.”
“Maybe,” Ray agreed, but glanced down at his feet.
“She uses her maiden name, had all but forgotten him. Even with such a short life. I would not forget her. You know, Detective, no one else would ever put a fairy in charge of so much. But she did, and I’ve never let her down.”
Ray couldn’t look away, not until her expression lit up like the midday sun. “I don’t even mind that she doesn’t return all of my feelings, though I have made them clear. Haven’t I made them clear?”
She was asking him. Ray let out an uncomfortable, incredibly frustrated laugh that she ignored.
“Do you think I should be more obvious?”
He thought of Cal, in his bathroom, and of standing there naked in front of him. Cal’s eyes had gone everywhere, his mouth bold, his scent longing. Take me.
Fairies. They were not subtle. If Nasreen had been anywhere near that direct, it was a wonder that Audrey had been able to ignore it. Unless you considered her clearly disastrous first marriage and the understandable fear of more heartbreak.
“I think she understands that you want her.” He coughed dryly. He should not be having this conversation. This was really none of his business. But Nasreen turned to him.
“But then why?” And it was too close to what Cal had asked. Ray walked to the door, to go home, except he was aware that he still wouldn’t sleep. Not the kind he needed, safe with his mate. Cal’s scent on an old towel wasn’t going to work much longer. If only fairies could understand. Nasreen couldn’t even understand marriage.
He stopped. “Why?”
“Sometimes I think she… why would she deny what would make us both happy?”
“You should, really.” He was not doing this. This wasn’t why he was here. “Isn’t there anyone else? Why don’t you ask her?”
“I don’t want to frighten her.” Of course she wasn’t ashamed to answer. “Why don’t you ask Cal?”
Demanding, “Ask him what?” would have been a lie, and Ray couldn’t do that to her. Her eyes were wide and shining. On Cal, the look would have made him suspicious. He knew he shouldn’t say anything to her, because she could tell Cal, but the words came out anyway. “He’s not the one saying no. Look, I should go. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“I didn’t think you’d be so nice. And stupid.”
Ray stopped by the door and jerked back around. “Excuse me?”
“She makes me so happy. More than happy. Audrey makes me warm. Being around her is like everything good. Do you know what I mean? Happy?”
Ray froze.
Happy.
Ray was starting to think that that word meant something to a fairy. Something different than it should. He swallowed.
“She makes you that… feel like that?”
It wasn’t his business, but…. He yanked at the knot in his tie, pulled it loose.
“Are you around humans a lot?” Nasreen shook her head, but Ray already knew the answer. He rubbed at his nose, his hot cheeks, then sighed. “The thing is, humans don’t look at the world the way you do when…” When your mate could be anyone, when you live an impossibly long time. “…when you’re Fairy.” Who didn’t exactly make distinctions between sexes and didn’t see why anyone else would. It was the person they wanted. Conventions, rules, etiquette only tended to confuse them. It was similar to the way they often would, or wouldn’t, wear whatever clothing struck their fancy.
He’d gone to a fairy parade once when he’d been a beat cop, had found it beautiful and confusing and hypnotizing: the music, the bodies spinning around him. He had looked up once, across the court, to lock gazes with a fairy in a purple tutu, too far away for even Ray’s eyes to see much more than his small wings and the pure joy in eve
ry movement. The moment had stayed with him for weeks afterward.
He cleared his throat.
“They also don’t live….” Nasreen’s gaze was so intent on him. “They place such importance on what they do get, and they fear spending their time hurt and in pain….”
“I would never hurt her.”
“Does she know that?” He stopped at the harshness in his voice, then coughed and tried to banish it. “Look, the Fairy are something else. Different from the rest of us.”
She was giving him a strange look, and Ray was aware that he’d compared himself to the humans, but in this instance he felt it right.
“For them, this, for her… it’s probably frightening. She needs to know… what it means… if it’s worth it for her to risk so much. Crap. Just….” Penn should really be doing this. Or Cal, though he didn’t want to know what Cal would say.
That was a lie. Yes he did. Too much.
He wanted to pace. He’d never felt so large and out of place. But her eyes wouldn’t let him move.
“They also…. It’s difficult to think that someone like you would ever be interested in something that doesn’t shine.” Surely she knew what he was saying. “That you’d want her for that long.” He growled, then bit it off. His face was burning. Nasreen only stared at him for a few moments longer.
“They don’t see things as we do,” she said again, almost sadly, but this time when her eyes sparkled Ray thought it was for him. “You—they—see too much with their eyes. To me, to us, you shine so much it nearly hurts to look at you. Like fireworks. It’s a vision of what you are, what you could mean to me if I did not burn for someone else.”
Ray jerked his head up.
“You don’t understand that?” She seemed confused. Ray frowned. If he closed his eyes, Cal smelled like…. He straightened.
“You should explain that to her, if it’s true,” he said at last, to get those eyes off him.
