Lydia nodded in understanding. She certainly identified with anyone who began to feel self-doubts about his or her abilities to succeed.
Ian continued. “About a month after the wedding, I woke up coughing in the middle of the night. I saw the draperies in my room were ablaze. I ran to the door to get out, and the door was jammed and would not budge. I screamed for help. Fortunately, my Annie heard me, because her room was across the hall from mine. When she tried to open the door, she discovered it was locked – from the outside. However, all the bedrooms used the same type of skeleton key to lock the doors, so she was able to use the key to her door to open mine and let me out. By the time I got out of my room, the entire household had been aroused by Annie’s screams for help, so they were able to put the fire out using a bucket brigade. My room was a shambles, and the house smelled like smoke for weeks. But, I survived.”
“What about your windows? Could not you have gotten out through one of them?”
“Normally, yes. Although, I am not sure what I could have done outside my window ledge. It was on the third floor. At any rate the third floor nursery and bedrooms, as well as many of the major rooms used for entertaining had been repainted in anticipation of the winter wedding. The painters, in a hurry to get the job done, had sloppily painted all the windows shut. When my parents discussed the matter, they decided to leave the windows as they were until spring. That way, with the windows painted shut, it would be more difficult for the winter winds to seep into the house.”
“Who knew the windows were painted shut?”
“Och. Everyone knew about it – even all the hired help.”
“Did anyone figure out how the fire started?”
“That is the strange part. Percy and Winston surmised I must have left my candles burning when I fell asleep. There are a couple of things wrong with their assumption. First of all, the two candles in my bedroom were atop my dresser, which was on the opposite side of the room from the windows. So, assuming I had left them burning, the question was how did the flame jump from the candles across the room to the draperies?”
“Did anyone find the remains of the candles?”
“Yes. One candle was still on the top of my dresser. The other candle sat on the floor underneath the window, where the draperies caught fire.”
Lydia pondered this information for a couple of seconds. “Is there any chance you had carried the candle to your bedside, set it on the floor near the draperies, fell asleep, and then awoke to the smoke and flames?”
“Not likely. Our parents and nannies raised us to understand bedtime was bedtime. Our bedrooms were not meant for any type of play – that was the purpose of the nursery room. As a result, I neither played nor read in my bedroom.
“Annie was another story. She did not listen quite as well to my parents or the nannies. She was always in trouble for reading in her room. Mother lived in fear of Annie catching the lacey, pink canopy over her bed on fire, when she brought the candle to her bedside for reading. That was not a problem for me. Reading, in my mind’s eye, pertained to business. With father training me for bookkeeping for the estate, I associated business and reading with the library. Even if I had carried a candle to my bedside table, how did it end up ten feet away from my bed, under the window draperies?”
“I see what you mean. However, a misplaced candle hardly strikes as me as a sinister pattern of conduct.”
“You are right, of course. Nevertheless, you have not heard the whole story.”
“What else happened?”
“A few weeks after the fire, I was out in the barn. Percy had asked me to go get Annie, who was playing with the kittens, to come in for tea. She was still grieving over the loss of our parents. She refused to cooperate with or to mind anyone but me. He also asked me to bring him his riding crop, which he inadvertently left just outside the tack room in the barn. It was no big deal, so I agree to do so.
“I found Annie sound asleep and curled up with the kittens sleeping all around her. Reluctantly, she went back into the house, while I looked for Percy’s riding crop.
“Annie came back about three minutes later, looking for me to join her for tea. I was still searching for the crop. She laughed as she started to school me for being late for tea. Suddenly, her facial expression transformed into one of terror, her eyes widened, and she screamed, ‘Ian, look out!’
“Fortunately, the change in her expression tipped me off that something was wrong so I turned around and moved as I looked up. I could see the barrel of grain as it rolled off the edge of the upper barn storage area. I stepped aside just when it crashed and splintered into a thousand pieces of wood and rye grain. Had Annie not come back to look for me, I would have been killed. As it was, the impact of the barrel landing beside me knocked me over.”
“Were you injured at all?”
“Nay. But I was definitely frightened.”
“How did it happen? I mean, was there anyone up in the rafters who could have pushed the barrel over the edge?” asked Lydia.
“No. Once I gathered my wits about me, I climbed up the ladder. There was not a soul up there. Understand, the horse barn is quite large with numerous entrances and exits – even from the rafters one could ride down the rope winch used to haul heavy items, including barrels of grain up to the rafters.”
“Ian, these two events, while alarming, are not that extraordinary – especially on a large estate. They could happen to anyone.”
“You are right, of course. However, the meaning of those two events became clear a couple of months later.”
“And?”
“It was an unusually balmy evening in the middle of spring. Annie and I were playing with the kittens, who by then were big enough to leave the security of the barn. I was on my hands and knees following behind the kitten we had named BartholoMew. He was the smallest kitten in the litter, so we gave him the longest name.
“We called him Mew for short. Mew was chasing after a baby bird that was just learning how to fly – and not very successfully, I might add. The mother bird hovered nearby and chirped a lot.
“Suddenly, Mew bolted from the barn and headed toward the house. I ran after him. I ended up underneath a small, slightly opened window in the library. I heard strained and angry voices. Then I recognized Percy’s voice.”
“I am getting a bad feeling about this,” said Lydia.
“Yes. It’s exactly what I experienced as I sat there listening to those voices. I was unable to believe my ears. Your instincts are good, my love. Percy was in the middle of telling his father he didn’t dare have me meet with another accident so soon after the fire and barrel incidents – that it would look too suspicious. Winston, apparently no longer able to keep his own voice down, boomed out that the creditors were getting anxious. Winston felt he needed access to the estate funds within a couple of weeks at the latest. The small amount they had been draining from the estate accounts to appease their own creditors was no longer adequate.
“Imagine my surprise and fear when Percy told his father he would figure out some way to get rid of me permanently within the next week. At that point I understood why they no longer allowed me to do the bookkeeping. I also understood my life, if I stayed on the estate, would be forfeit.”
“I do not understand, Ian. If Percy and Winston already had access to the estate funds, why did they need to get rid of you?”
“The only lump sum Percy received was Belinda’s dowry – five thousand pounds. As far as the estate’s money was concerned, because they held the money in trust for me as the heir to the estate, they had to justify each and every month all expenditures to Harlan Barnaby, our family banker and executor of the estate. There was simply no way they could justify a large withdrawal because the banker would investigate the expenditure before paying out on it.
“On the other hand, if I were dead, then all my estate, less Annie’s dowry of five thousand pounds, would revert automatically to Belinda. However, Percy, as Belinda’s husband, wou
ld control those funds by law and could do with them whatever he saw fit. It did not take the mind of a genius to realize I was more valuable dead than alive. It was time for me to go.”
“What about Belinda? Did she know any of this was going on?”
“No. However, that afternoon I did try to talk with her. I never told her exactly what I heard in the conversation between Percy and Winston, but I hinted to her I thought the incidents might not have been accidents.”
“How did she react?”
“First, I asked her how she and Percy were faring. She was exceedingly happy with Percy, but a little disappointed in herself she was not yet with child. Then I asked her how Percy was adapting to living on the estate instead of in St. Mary’s. She noted something seemed to be bothering him, but she was not sure what it could be. After all, she was very happy as a newlywed.
“It is sad to say, but in Belinda’s mind, as long as she was happy, everyone else should be happy, too. She never bothered to think beyond her own feelings.
“Then, when I suggested the accidents seemed strange, and they might not be accidents, she became furious with me. She accused me of being jealous of her happiness and told me to quit brooding, to grow up, and to get over the deaths of our parents. Just because I was not allowed in the library in the longer was no reason for me to look for reasons to ruin her happiness. She then refused to speak with me any further on the subject. No matter how many times in the next day or two I tried to approach her, she refused to broach the subject again.
“I finally realized I would get no support from her, and I gave up trying to explain the conversation between Percy and Winston.
“I thought about my options and about my sisters. At least Percy and Winston could not get their hands on Annie’s dowry – and they already had used Belinda’s dowry. If Belinda was going to close her eyes to reality, I had no future there and decided to leave before Percy and Winston came up with a plan for my accidental demise.”
CHAPTER 19
“One week later, I found myself in Edinburgh. I was afraid to tell anyone my real name, lest Percy find out and decide to finish the job on me. Work and money for food were uppermost in my mind. I couldn’t very well offer my services as a bookkeeper – after all, how many bookkeepers were there who were only thirteen years old and who had no references to give? I did not have much money with me, so I had to find some type of employment which would allow me to keep my true identity a secret.
“As I walked down near the wharf, I noticed a flyer tacked to a post. A Captain needed the services of a cabin boy. That, I decided, was the perfect job for me. I would have shelter, clothing, and food. Additionally, I would learn a trade. Importantly, I would be at sea where Percy and Winston could not lay a hand on me. I tore the flyer off the post and walked toward the moored ships.”
Ian stretched and looked into the mirror over his armoire. There, the reflection of a full-grown man stared back at him, but he still saw the insecure, frightened boy from fourteen years ago. Long hidden memories came back again.
“I neared the ship which had put up the flyer, the Whisper. But the closer I got, the more unnerved I became. The Captain stood on the poop deck bellowing out orders to the crew. I had never heard such colorful language before. I began to rethink my plan. If the Captain was a brute, I would be stuck on board until the end of any contract I might enter into as a cabin boy. A life at sea can be a dangerous one, what with all the storms, pirates, and the fact many sailors tend to be the dregs of society. How could I, at thirteen, protect myself?
“Just as I had started to walk up the plank toward the Captain, I changed my mind, turned around, and headed back down the ramp. At that moment an incredibly loud, booming voice yelled out, ‘Where do you think you are going young man? Get back up on that plank and hie yourself to me.’”
“I turned around and shouted out, “‘Twas a mistake, Sir. This is not the ship I was looking for.’”
“Nonsense,” bellowed the burly man. The next thing I knew, two husky men ran down the plank, grabbed my arms and dragged me up to the deck of the ship and held me in front of the Captain.
“’You are looking for employment as a cabin boy, true?’” asked the captain.
“I’ve never been good at lying so I said ‘yes.’ My heart felt as though it was going to jump out of my chest, because I was so afraid.”
“’Then you will oblige me by coming to my quarters … now.’”
“The man turned abruptly and marched away.
“The fear I felt almost turned my legs into willow tree branches. My stomach gurgled. To be honest, I did not know if I was going to throw up or mess my pants. The two men who had grabbed by arms continued to half carry and half walk me to follow the Captain. I will never forget my surprise as I entered his cabin. Rather than a small, crowded cabin, the men escorted me into a complete, but small, living room with sofa and a dining room with dining table and chairs. The place looked like anyone’s inviting home. I could see another door off to one side, which I presumed was the bedroom.
“Seated in a rocking chair near the wood-burning stove, was a middle-aged woman, knitting a scarf. Her smile conveyed miles of reassurance to me. I knew then I had nothing to be afraid of.
“The first words out of her mouth were, “‘Daniel, have you scared this poor young man? He is as pale as a ghost.’”
“’Don’t pay any attention to him young man,” she said. “’As the captain of the ship, it is part of his job to sound tough and gruff – otherwise, he would have a difficult time maintaining order amongst the crew. But let me assure you, Daniel is a pussycat.’”
“The captain frowned at her explanation. He looked over at me, a smile crept over his face and his eyes began to twinkle.”
“’Forgive me lad. I did not mean to frighten you, but Abigail is right. I do have a certain image to maintain in front of my men. Now, about that job as a cabin boy…’”
“He said all this as though I had come on board of my own free will. I was dumbfounded and rather confused. The last five minutes had terrified me. Just as I did not want to give control of my life and my choices over to Percy and his father, neither did I want give control over my life to strangers. On the other hand, I also realized I did not have a lot of choices, and the woman named Abigail had gone a long way in making me realize that perhaps my initial fears after having been being dragged onto the ship were ill-founded. I did some quick thinking and decided to at least inquire about the position.
“I learned the Captain and his wife, were Daniel and Abigail Moreland, a childless couple who sailed the seas together. Abby, as I came to call her, upon Daniel’s marriage proposal, promptly informed him she would not marry him if he expected her to stay at home in his house by the sea, waiting for him to come home from each of his trips. If they were going to share a life together, it would be on his ship when he was at sea, and at his home by the sea, when he was not sailing. The idea of wives accompanying their ‘captain’ husband was not unheard of, but it was not common either. As you well know, women are generally viewed as bad luck on cargo vessels. However, when Daniel saw how determined Abby was, he gave in and by the time I met them, they had already been sailing the seas together for fifteen years.
“Abigail saw how uncertain I was and took up where the Captain left off. She explained the itinerary for their current trip, which was to sail from Edinburgh to London, and then off to San Francisco. She also explained what my duties would be and what I would receive as compensation in return. In many ways, she reminded me of my own mother. So despite my misgivings about the Captain, I relied on her kindness and reassurance and agreed to be their cabin boy for just that one trip.”
Ian laughed. “One trip. What a joke! Daniel became the father I missed so much, and Abby had no trouble taking over the role of my mother. Those two people changed my life. They changed my focus from anger, and feelings of inadequacy and distrust, to a newly found confidence in my abilities in working with the
sea. They prodded me for the first couple of years we were together to reveal my true identity. I told them my name was Ian Welby. Although I admitted that I was from Scotland, which I could not deny due to my heavy brogue, I refused to give them my real name. Welby was my mother’s maiden name as well as my middle name.
“While I started out as a cabin boy, the Captain soon discovered I had away with numbers, and he put me in charge of handling the bookkeeping for the ship. Little by little, in the meantime, he began teaching me about sailing. I loved it! Sailing gave me a sense of freedom and power I had never felt on land. I was an apt pupil and worked very hard. The years passed almost too quickly.
“Just before I turned twenty-one, we sailed into San Francisco with a load of coffee, sugar, and silk. Daniel and Abigail suggested we go to a restaurant for a change of pace. We went to a place called Clifton House, along with the First Mate and one of the passengers from that journey, a Doctor Thomas Miller.
“Doctor Miller was just about four years older than I was, but something of a real character. He was on the pudgy side and balding already at the age of twenty-five. His left eye had an occasional twitch, and he spoke with a stutter. A more charming man and better friend would be difficult to find. He had recently become a doctor and agreed to sign on as the ship’s physician. Apparently, the woman whom he wanted to marry declined his proposal because her father wanted her to marry someone with a title. He signed on for one voyage with Daniel and Abby, thinking it would help him to get over his lost love. Little did he realize how much he would fall in love with the sea. He never stopped sailing with Daniel and Abby. As you already know, he still sails with me and while we are great friends, it is the sea and medicine he truly loves more than anything else. Most of his close friends call him Doc, including me. Nevertheless, I digress from my story.
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