by Cathy Peper
Diamond followed Victoria down to the hotel lobby and into a closed carriage. It didn’t take long to travel to the small church they had reserved for the ceremony. Although raised Lutheran, Diamond rarely attended church and allowed Jesse to pick the venue.
Bryce met them in the vestibule. He wore a black frock coat, white trousers and a top hat. He smiled at her with a hint of malice. “Thought I got free of you fifty years ago, yet here I am, giving you away.”
“I’m persistent,” she said as she rested her hand on his outstretched arm. Too persistent. If only she had not latched onto him and the story she sensed he was hiding.
“We didn’t intend to put you in danger.”
“I know.” She supposed she should feel grateful for everything they had done: the clothes, the wedding, and most of all, the dowry. It secured her a position in the world and gave her the means to support herself. But a blanket of apathy, smothering everything but the primal urge to survive, stifled her gratitude. She didn’t want to be here, in this church, vowing to love, honor and cherish a man she barely knew. All she wanted was to build a fortress and hide within.
“Weber seems a decent sort. You could do worse.”
“He’s a good man,” Diamond agreed. One she might have been happy to marry had circumstances been different. If she didn’t feel trapped. And afraid. Because much as she hated to admit it, fear made her heart pump wildly and her hands sweat. She’d had no appetite for breakfast and now wondered whether she would make it through the ceremony without fainting.
Music swelled, an organ and the sweet sound of a violin. Victoria had offered to play for them.
“It’s time.” Once again malice gleamed in Bryce’s cool blue eyes. Diamond stiffened her spine and fell into step beside him.
There were few guests. With Jesse’s family in the South and Diamond’s mother not yet born, only Ari, Victoria’s husband, Sebastien, and their children and grandchildren occupied the pews. Bryce moved deliberately, leaning on his cane, but it seemed she had only just stepped into the aisle when she reached Jesse’s side and Bryce withdrew to sit by Ari.
“Dearly beloved,” the minister began. The words flowed over her, familiar, yet different in some ways. She repeated her vows, choking only when she agreed to obey, and wondered if words spoken under duress truly counted.
Jesse spoke his vows, his voice as clear and calm as her own.
Does he have doubts? Divorce wasn’t common or easy to get, and although the law afforded Jesse much more freedom, he wouldn’t be able to remarry unless she died or they divorced. Was the lure of her dowry enough to overcome his fears? She met his deep blue eyes. He looked happy. And hopeful. Hopeful for a new beginning?
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
The ceremony had zoomed past while she wrangled with her own doubts. She had to believe she had done the right thing.
Jesse drew her forward, his strong hand at her waist. They were nearly of the same height and he didn’t have to bend far to reach her lips. His were gentle and firm on hers, a chaste, respectable kiss, but Diamond felt a spark zip between them. She found him attractive, God help her, and it seemed he might reciprocate the attraction. Could they have a real marriage?
They signed the register, Diamond using her new name for the first time. Diamond Weber. It sounded like a cross between fine jewelry and a charcoal grill. A giggle rose in her throat and she let it escape as a tentative smile. She now belonged to the man in front of her, for better or worse. She could only hope for the better.
Fourteen
Chapter 14
“It was kind of them to do this,” Jesse whispered in Diamond’s ear. They sat in a cozy restaurant where the wedding guests had gathered after the ceremony.
Diamond nodded. She had expected little more than a furtive ceremony in an empty church with Bryce and Ari as witnesses. Dishes clattered as the staff served chicken and dumplings. On a side table, a cake took the place of honor. The guests were kind and other than the two older couples, seemed to know nothing of Diamond’s true origins. It almost seemed like a real wedding.
“Thank you for the pearls.”
“I wanted to get you diamonds, for your name, but my budget didn’t run high enough.”
A pear-shaped diamond sparkled on her finger, but the rings they had exchanged were also compliments of the Pooles. “I’m sorry I have nothing for you.”
“I have everything I need. I only wish we could spend more time together, but as soon as I deliver you to my father, I must report for duty.”
Diamond twirled her wineglass, uneasy at being left in a stranger’s care. “Too bad your family couldn’t be here.”
He took her hand, stilling its restless energy. “I’m sure you miss your own family. Is your mother still alive? You told me your father died in the Mexican War, which must not be true.”
“My dad died in a war in Afghanistan, but my mother is still alive. We’re not close, but my disappearance must be hard on her.”
“It saddens me that the United States is still fighting wars. And I’m sorry about your mother. My father and I don’t always see eye to eye, but he’d miss me if I vanished. He’d want to know what happened to me. I know it can’t replace your own family, but my family will now be yours, too. Our marriage may surprise my father, but he will come around, especially if you don’t antagonize him.”
“You want me to pretend to be someone other than who I really am.” She pulled her hand free and dropped it in her lap.
“No, but he’s easier to get along with if you pretend to agree with him.”
Diamond shook her head. “I find it hard to believe that you joined the Confederate Army, and your brother the Union, just because he told you to. My mother hated me studying journalism in college, after what happened to my father, but that only made me more determined to become a reporter. But then, I’ve always been stubborn.” And look where it’s gotten me.
“I’m not trying to change you. If you want to knock heads with my old man, be my guest. But if you want your life to be a little easier, let him think you’re on his side.”
He probably should try to change her. She’d get in less trouble. And she just didn’t have the energy to keep fighting. “I felt a need to expose the truth, but I didn’t totally disagree with my mother. I wanted to cover local stories and stay out of war zones.”
“Yet you ended up in the middle of a civil war.”
“Ironic, huh?”
Before Jesse could respond, a waitress approached. “It’s time to cut the cake.” They followed her over to the table. Although the cake boasted a single layer, instead of the multi-layered confection Diamond had once imagined having at her wedding, flowers made of icing decorated the top. She took the knife from the waitress and cut the first slice.
“Do we feed it to one another?” she asked Jesse.
“Yes. Still a custom in your day?” He spoke softly so no one would hear.
She nodded, suspecting Victorian couples didn’t grind the cake into each other’s faces. She broke off a piece and raised it to Jesse’s mouth and he did the same to her. She’d fed him before, when he was ill, dripping water down his throat, but this felt different. Her fingers tingled where they touched his lips and the vanilla flavor of the cake burst in her mouth as he fed her. It wasn’t as sweet as other wedding cakes she had eaten, but it was good and light as air.
Bryce raised his glass for a toast, wishing them health and happiness, and even sounding as if he meant it.
The waitress took over the job of slicing and distributing the cake, allowing the couple a chance to mingle. Since they didn’t know most of the guests, they wandered over to Bryce and Ari.
“Thank you for all this,” Diamond said. “I didn’t expect an actual celebration.”
“Every girl deserves a wedding day,” Ari said, “even if the situation is not ideal. I should have married Bryce before Hannah was born, but he had to untangle himself from a previ
ous engagement. Because we already had a child, the priest almost didn’t allow us to marry in his church.”
“A sizeable donation cleared his conscience,” Bryce said.
Humor sparkled in Ari’s eyes. “Whatever you had to do was well worth it. A piece of paper makes everything legal, but it can’t warm your heart like a memory.”
And these people, people she had once seen as adversaries, had given her a memory. She still wished she’d never set eyes on them, but they had done their best to help her. More, perhaps, than she deserved.
“We won’t forget what you’ve done for us,” Jesse said.
“Don’t forget the rules, either,” Bryce said. “You must stay married for at least a year or I’ll make no further payments on the dowry. After five years, you will have the full amount.”
Trust Bryce to spoil the moment and turn what almost seemed like a real wedding into a crass financial transaction. Diamond pasted a fake smile on her face. “I’m not likely to forget.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you… well, actually, it is. I wouldn’t put it past you to put Jesse up to this to get your hands on the money.”
“Sir, I assure you the marriage was my idea,” Jesse said. “And while I appreciate the dowry, I didn’t need an inducement to want Diamond for my bride.”
Nicely done. Diamond’s stiff smile melted into something more natural. It pleased her to see Jesse stand up to Bryce. She hadn’t had someone willing to defend her since her father died.
Victoria and Sebastien joined the group. Although not as intimidating as Bryce, Sebastien was a formidable man and must have been striking in his prime. He still sported broad shoulders and a firm handshake, although his beard was mostly gray and his face lined and weathered.
“Write me,” Victoria said. “I’m happy to have someone besides Ari to talk about—you know. And I’ll have tips for you.”
Ari and Victoria had already given her their addresses and Diamond promised to write once she settled in Arkansas.
“I wish you were staying in Missouri,” Victoria said. “It seems safer.”
“It may be safer in St. Louis, but guerilla warfare terrorizes the countryside,” Jesse said. “My father will keep her safe.”
“The South will fall,” Ari whispered.
Jesse bowed his head. “I’ve heard. He will keep her safe as long as he’s able. And Diamond and my sister may move back to New Madrid once the army moves on.”
Diamond’s heart raced. Did she really want to do this? She could throw herself on Ari’s mercy, stay in St. Louis, and work at their stupid store. No. She took a deep breath. She’d made her choice. Jesse—and the dowry money—were her best option. She would survive.
Victoria moved in for a hug. Not being much of a hugger, Diamond froze and awkwardly patted the smaller woman on the back. To her surprise, she felt comforted by the brief embrace.
Ari didn’t hug, but shook hands, as did Sebastien. Bryce thumped his cane on the floor and said he needed another drink.
Jesse took her hand as they slipped from the restaurant and walked back to the hotel. The hotel staff had moved Diamond’s new clothes, along with her old belongings, into Jesse’s room. It was furnished similarly to her own, with a bed, washstand and dresser, but the bed seemed to suck up most of the space.
Stop acting like a silly little virgin. It’s not like you’ve never done this. But she could count the number of her partners on one hand and it was always awkward the first time. “I guess I should get out of this fancy gown.”
“Why don’t I give you some time to get ready?”
“I don’t think I can get out of this dress by myself.”
“I’ll send up one of the hotel maids.”
Most women traveled with their maid, but the hotel had staff available. “Thank you.” She sighed with relief once the door closed behind Jesse. She poured water from the pitcher into the bowl and washed her face. The maid arrived a few minutes later and helped her out of her dress and into a linen nightgown.
“Will there be anything else, ma’am?”
“No, thank you.” Once the maid left, Diamond plumped the pillow and crawled under the covers. She lay there, staring at the ceiling and wishing she’d had another glass of wine at the reception.
The snick of the door warned her of Jesse’s arrival. “I brought a bottle of wine.”
“You must have read my mind.” She wriggled to a sitting position and accepted the glass he poured for her. The fruity flavor slid over her tongue and she stared into its ruby depths, trying to ignore the sounds of Jesse disrobing.
The bed dipped beneath his weight as he slid in beside her. A shirt covered his torso, but she suspected he had nothing else on. Silence grew between them as they sipped their wine. Wanting to postpone the inevitable, she hoped he would pour more wine, but he took the empty glass from her boneless fingers and set it next to his on the nightstand. “You looked lovely today.”
“Blame the dress.”
“I’m serious. I felt so lucky to see you walking down the aisle.”
“Guess it beats my normal clothes. Or what used to be my normal clothes. I will miss them.”
“Keep them. You look good in them.”
Diamond cocked her head to one side. “You almost sound like you mean that.”
“I do, but I hope you learn to like your new clothes.”
“I guess they’re not so bad, except for the corset.” The number of layers frustrated her, but a small part of her enjoyed the dip and sway of the skirts and the elegant details of the expensive hand-sewn garments she had chosen from the Pooles’ store.
“You won’t regret today, Diamond.”
“Why would I? Apparently I’ve achieved the ultimate goal of any proper Victorian young woman.” She winced at the tinge of bitterness in her words. Was this how she wanted to start their marriage? She fumbled for words, but Jesse took her mouth with is, smothering them.
He kissed her fully, unlike his dutiful kiss at the altar. His lips were firm, his mustache and beard soft against her skin. She had always preferred her men clean-shaven, but Jesse’s facial hair suited him, as did his shoulder-length brown hair. She ran her hands through it as she had longed to do since the first day she saw him on the trail.
His fingers tangled in her hair, too, before tracing the line of her collarbone. He didn’t rush, didn’t lift her nightdress and assert his husbandly rights as she had somewhat feared he would. What did she know of nineteenth-century lovemaking? For this was almost what it felt like. She sighed, tension surging in her body as he caressed her breast. He didn’t have to do this if all he wanted to do was claim her and make their marriage legal.
She slipped her hand inside his shirt. His skin was smooth, his muscles sleek and natural, made from life, not hours in a gym. The image of Brett, her policeman lover, intruded. He’d been proud of his bulging muscles and she had enjoyed them as well until he used his strength against her. She shoved the memory aside. It didn’t belong here with Jesse, his touch gentle and sure.
She’d been with no one since and hadn’t been sure she could even feel desire again, but Jesse proved her wrong. Hunger built within her with every graze of his fingertips and the warm insistence of his mouth. She wanted this. Wanted sex.
No, she wanted him. Jesse. The man she had found too beautiful to leave to the mercy of the elements and enemy troops. The man who had saved her from White and his threats. The man she had dragged across a frigid lake and force-fed an antibiotic. The man who would give her a place in this new world—if he didn’t die on the battlefield.
The thought sobered her and the tide of arousal withdrew, like the sea creeping back to shore, dragging everything in its path with it. The country was at war. One day she might open the door to find soldiers on the porch or receive a telegram with dreadful news.
I’ll still have the money. I won’t be destitute. But she wasn’t sure it mattered.
Perhaps sensing her withdrawal, Jesse murmured
something. His words were unclear, but his tone reassuring. He nuzzled her earlobe, and she shivered. Don’t think.
His lips followed the curve of her cheek, finding his way back to her mouth while his hand slid under her nightgown and cupped her breast. Her back arched. She pressed into him, loving the roughness of his palm against her sensitive skin. She felt him below, thick and heavy, as desirous of her as she was of him.
She slipped her hands beneath his shirt, skimming her nails against his back. He moaned against her neck. She reached for his shaft, stroking upwards. He pulsed under her fingers and her insides clenched.
When he touched her, she gasped. His fingers swirled in her wetness, the pressure building. She lifted her hips as he tugged at her nightgown and suddenly the heat of him was there where she burned.
He stroked her again, a lick of flame and then he pushed inside, filling her. She shuddered. It had been a while, and she was tight, if not the virgin bride he no doubt expected.
He moved rhythmically, and the tension ebbed and grew taut, drawing out in a thin line. His pace quickened. She matched him thrust for thrust, until she shattered, carried away in a rush of pleasure. She dangled, floating, from the precipice, as he followed, shuddering and filling her womb with his seed.
He lay there a moment before rolling off her and drawing her close. They were both sweating despite the chill of night. He rubbed her temple, pushing her hair behind her ear, before dropping his arm to her waist. Within minutes he was asleep. Diamond lay in his arms for long minutes before she relaxed enough for sleep to engulf her.
Fifteen
Chapter 15
They traveled as far west by train as they could. War had delayed construction, and it didn’t go all the way to Kansas City as planned. When the rails ran out, they rented a horse and buggy and drove south, hoping to avoid both the regular army and the guerrillas. Most were Rebel sympathizers, but occasionally Jayhawkers crossed over from Kansas, burning and looting farms suspected of loyalty to the South.
