Her throat closed. “I don’t know if he’ll let it be me after tonight.”
“Yeah, you pissed him off.”
“I was just trying to help. Just trying to…” Frustrated, she flopped her hands. “I don’t know. Save him from himself. He’s so bent on revenge—”
Jude threw out an arm, stopping her in her tracks. “Revenge?”
She opened her mouth but closed it again without uttering a sound. Right. She had told Reece about the revenge scheme, not Jude. Apparently Reece hadn’t had the chance to share that tidbit of information with his brothers. “Greer plans to kill the man he thinks is responsible for your parents’ murders. He thinks he needs to do it before he…”
“Before he what?”
“Takes his own life.”
Anger flashed in Jude’s bright blue eyes, followed quickly by sorrow. He dropped his arm. “He’s really hurting, isn’t he?”
“He’s carried a lot of weight. A lot of guilt. I think it’s just gotten to be too much for him.”
Jude was quiet until they emerged from the park into the parking lot right below her apartment. She didn’t blame him for needing the moments of silence. She’d dumped a lot on him in the last few minutes.
“Brothers,” he finally muttered with a shake of his head.
She thought of her own—all the times she’d covered for Mathew when they were kids, all the times he’d let her down—and sighed. “Tell me about it.”
Jude pulled open the apartment complex’s front door and waited for her to pass. “You have a brother?”
By unspoken agreement, they headed toward the stairs. The elevators in this building were notoriously slow and unreliable. She went up ahead of him. “Yes. Mathew. He’s six years older than me, and he was my hero until…one day, he wasn’t. He got into drugs when he was sixteen and was never the same again.”
“That sucks.”
“It did. My parents turned a blind eye to his problem for a long time. It wasn’t until Andy came along four years later that they finally admitted he needed help.” And, God, she hoped Andy wasn’t following in his father’s footsteps. Her worst fear was discovering Andy had attacked Greer due to drugs. “I wanted my big brother back and tried to help Mathew as best I could, but I was so young and my parents were all but enabling him. He didn’t want to admit he needed help.”
“Like Greer.”
She shook her head. “I think Greer will seek out help when he’s ready. Mathew never did.”
“Where’s your brother now?”
“No clue.” She raised a shoulder and stopped in front of her apartment door to grab her keys from her purse. “He’s been in and out of rehab more times than I can count. He’ll do okay for a while, then slip right back into his old habits.” As soon as she had the door open, she froze. Jet wasn’t there to meet her.
Jude didn’t notice. He was digging for his own keys to Greer’s place. “I’ll meet you in a few. I want to take a look around.”
Greer wouldn’t be there. Maybe he had been recently, but he wasn’t any longer. Nope—he was somewhere in her apartment. She didn’t see him in the kitchen or living room and set her purse down on an end table before continuing to the bedroom.
And there he was, propped up in her still sex-tousled sheets, one hand buried in Jet’s golden fur and the other wrapped around a half empty bottle of vodka. His gun sat within reach on the nightstand, and her heart gave a little jolt of panic when she spotted it.
She stepped over the threshold but didn’t move any closer than that. If he was on the edge, she didn’t want to do anything to inadvertently push him over. Jet’s tail thumped a couple times, but he otherwise didn’t move. Smart guy knew Greer was hurting and needed him to stay put. Good dog. She decided right then Jet deserved all the bacon he could eat from here on out.
“I heard Jude’s voice,” Greer said with a dull hollowness in his tone. His expression was closed off, unreadable, and his bleary eyes focused on the empty space over her shoulder. “Why is he here?”
“Because he’s worried about you,” she answered softly. “We all are.”
“I’m not worth worrying over.”
“I think that’s our decision to make, don’t you?”
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what I did tonight.”
Oh, God. Had he gone through with his revenge plan? Had he killed someone? Her stomach jittered, but she somehow managed to keep her voice neutral, her body language calm. “What did you do?”
He took a large swig from the bottle. “I was going to kill an innocent man.” He snorted. “Well, not innocent. He’s a creep, and I’m sure he’s stalked and terrified other women like he did my mom, but he’s not a killer. I wanted to kill him, though. There’s this anger inside me—it’s lived there since that night the police came to the house and told us we were orphans—and when I was holding the gun to Mendenhall’s head, it was right there at the surface, straining against the chains I’ve kept it locked up in. Even though everything he said rang true, and I knew he wasn’t the man who killed my parents, I still wanted to pull the trigger.” He lifted the bottle to his mouth but stopped before it touched his lips. He finally met her gaze directly. “It scared the hell out of me, Natalie.”
She released a soft breath of relief. If he was this torn up about threatening the wrong man, there was still hope for him. She ventured a step closer. “Is that why you came back here?” When he didn’t respond, she added, “I thought you’d never want to see me again after last night.”
“I didn’t but can’t seem to stay away.”
“I only said what I did because I care about you. I don’t want to see you arrested or worse. I don’t want you to carry more death on your shoulders.”
He nodded, raised the bottle again, and took a long drink that had his Adam’s apple bobbing in his strong neck. “Something’s missing in me, a piece that’s broken off and gotten lost somewhere along the way—I know it, I accept it, and I’ve dealt with it just fine until I met you. With you… I don’t know. You make me want to be…whole again. For maybe the first time in my adult life, and I don’t—I don’t want to lose that. You.”
He was drunk. There was no way he’d be saying such things sober. Still, her heart gave a happy leap. He cared about her, too. It scared him, but the feelings were there and just as strong as hers.
They’d get through this. It wouldn’t be easy, but they’d get through. Together.
She crossed to the bed and sat down, taking the bottle from his hand before he could drink more. She set it aside, laced her fingers through his. “Let me help. Let your brothers help.”
He stared down at their entwined hands. “I miss them.”
“We’ve missed you too, bro,” Jude’s voice said from the doorway. “Where have you been?”
Chapter Seventeen
Greer gazed up at the door. His youngest brother stood there, backlit by the living room lights, a battle of emotions raging across his expression. Anger. Fear. Grief. Jude never had been one to hide his emotions.
They were going to have it out, right here, right now.
At his side, Natalie shifted as if she was going to excuse herself. He refocused on her, keeping a tight grip on her hand. She couldn’t leave. Facing his brother would be the most terrifying thing he’d ever done, and he was so fucking tired of always putting on a brave face when inside he was little more than a frightened teenager, alone in the world and unsure of how to keep his family together. He needed her for this. He was beginning to suspect he needed her for a lot of reasons.
Stay, he pleaded silently.
She searched his eyes. He didn’t know what she saw there, but she nodded slowly and squeezed his hand.
Several moments passed in silence. He didn’t know where to start, or even how. Eventually, Jude saved him from having to figure it out.
“You’ve missed a lot.” He sighed and dragged a hand through his perpetually tousled hair. “Reece and Shelby nearly annull
ed their marriage.”
Greer winced. “I told him not to.”
“And he listened. They worked things out, and she opened a coffee shop in the empty store beside Wilde Security.”
This, he could do. This small talk, catching up. He needed this easing into brotherly interaction again, before they went near the big stuff. “I’m glad the building’s getting more use.”
Jude nodded. “Reece has a crew coming in to see about renovating the rest of it. He’s thinking we’ll rent the other spaces out for retail or offices. It’ll generate extra income.”
“He always has been good at generating income.”
“Yeah, he has us operating in the black now. He partnered us with Tucker Quentin, and we’ve been doing a lot of personal security for Tuc’s Hollywood friends. It’s a pretty cushy gig, and the pay’s unbelievable compared to what we were making chasing down cheaters. Libby and I can finally afford a house. We’ve been shopping around.”
Just as he suspected, his brothers were absolutely fine without him. In fact, they all seemed to be doing better since he left. “That’s good. We were hemorrhaging money before, but I knew Reece would figure out a way to turn it around.”
Natalie squeezed his hand, and he winced a little. Somehow he was screwing this up, but every time he looked at his brother he remembered his dream—the grown man with the ten-year-old’s voice, accusing him of everything that he had done. “Uh, congrats on the house.”
Jude lifted a shoulder. “We’re going to need the extra space. Libby’s pregnant. Seven weeks.”
All the air left Greer’s lungs, and for a long time he forgot how to breathe. It wasn’t until Natalie started rubbing circles on his back that he remembered how the whole suck air in, blow it out thing worked.
“Pregnant,” he breathed. Greer closed his eyes as his throat constricted painfully. A baby. There hadn’t been a baby in the family since Jude was one. And now he was going to have his own. Wow.
Maybe it’ll finally be the girl Mom and Dad always wanted.
The thought made his gut cramp with dread. If something happened to Jude and Libby, that child would grow up broken, a half-finished human being like him.
No. That couldn’t happen. It was all the more reason to keep Jude away from Bruce Chambers.
He swallowed to ease the sensation that he was being strangled. He couldn’t have a panic attack now. “Congratulations.”
For the first time since Jude walked into the room, he smiled. No, more than smiled. He beamed. “She’s due in November. If it’s a girl, we’re naming her after mom. If it’s a boy, we’re thinking of naming him David Greer Elliot Wilde.”
With his breathing under control again, he nodded. “After both of your dads. It’s a great idea.”
Jude’s brows cranked down. “No, not after Dad. I mean, yeah, he’ll share Dad’s name, too, which is a bonus, but…Greer, I want to name my son after you.”
Natalie let go a surprised huff of air, and her fingers tightened around his. But if she was surprised, he was flabbergasted. Nothing Jude could have said would have shocked him more.
“Why me?”
“You honestly have to ask that, bro? I was only ten when Dad died. My memories of him… Well, I don’t have very many and the few I do have are fuzzy, like a dream. I know I loved him, and he loved me, but he wasn’t there for me when I needed a dad.”
Greer nearly choked on the fist that had taken up residence in his throat. “Not because he didn’t want to be.”
But because Bruce fucking Chambers took him away from his kids. If nothing else, Jude’s words solidified his mission in his mind. He was going to get justice—if not for his parents, then for the little boy who still carried the weight of their deaths like a cross even though he barely remembered them.
“Jesus,” Jude muttered and started pacing. He dragged both hands through his hair, then spun around. “That’s not what I meant. Dad… I’m not blaming him for not being there. I know he would’ve been if he could’ve. What I’m saying is he wasn’t the one who helped me with my homework.” He smiled a little. “Or yelled at me when I didn’t do my homework. He wasn’t the one who gave me The Talk, the one who waited up to make sure I was home by curfew. He wasn’t the one who made sure my childhood was as normal as possible. That was you, Greer. And that’s why I want to name my son, if I have one, after you.”
There were no words. He honestly didn’t know what to say, how to react. Natalie nudged his shoulder, and he glanced over at her. She nodded toward Jude, silently telling him to move, to go to his brother.
Yeah. He could do that. Part of him was ashamed he hadn’t thought of it first. He wished he could blame it on the vodka he’d stolen from Mendenhall making him slow, but it wasn’t. The caring man Jude described—well, boy, really—had died in Syria. Now bridging the gap between them seemed nearly impossible. Each step he took toward his youngest brother made him more nervous. He’d been avoiding this moment, this confrontation, since returning from Syria. What was Natalie expecting him to do? What did Jude expect?
He reached out and rested his hand on Jude’s shoulder. Jude blinked hard and closed the remaining distance between them, grabbing him in a rib-crushing hug. It hurt like hell, but he suddenly didn’t care.
This was right. This was home. How could he have forgotten this?
He held Jude just as tightly and remembered doing the same to the devastated ten-year-old boy that horrible October night twenty years ago.
“Do you blame me?” Jude whispered. “I was the reason Mom and Dad were out that night. I know Reece and the twins don’t, but…do you?”
Greer set him back and stared into his eyes. “Jude. Christ. Why are you still carrying that weight? It wasn’t your fault.”
“They wouldn’t have been at that gas station if they hadn’t been out looking for me. If I hadn’t snuck out—”
“I don’t think it would have mattered.”
Jude went very still. “What?”
“I’ve been looking into their deaths, searching for their killer almost since we buried them. It’s always been in the back of my mind. The whole ‘random act of violence’ thing didn’t sit right with me. Dad knew how to defend himself.”
Jude shook his head. “That doesn’t mean anything. I knew plenty of guys overseas who were equally capable of defending themselves, and that didn’t stop them from dying.”
“That was war. There’s a difference, and you know it.”
“Are you saying…?” Jude broke away and started pacing again. “Are you saying Mom and Dad were targeted?”
Greer glanced back at Natalie. She nodded encouragingly. He drew a breath. “You don’t know what Dad was.” Or what I am.
“Dad was a Ranger, like you.”
He lifted a shoulder, trying to play it off. He really didn’t want to go into the details. Especially not now that he knew Jude had a case of hero worship when it came to him. “Rangers make enemies.”
“But those enemies have never singled out one particular Ranger for revenge. They can’t, because they only ever see a unit, not—” He stopped and even though he was facing away, Greer could almost see him connecting the dots. He turned slowly, and his blue eyes were flinty, his jaw set. “What aren’t you telling us?”
Greer heaved out a breath. A small hand touched his arm, and he glanced down to find Natalie beside him. She traced his arm with her fingers until she found his hand. “It’s time to tell them everything.”
“I don’t want them to hate me.”
She shook her head. “They won’t.”
He wanted to kiss her. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but he wanted it more than anything else at that moment. He lowered his head, pressed his lips to hers. She smiled, accepted the kiss, returned it. Moments later, when he straightened, he found Jude watching them with an odd expression on his face. Part surprise, part curiosity, part amusement.
“What?” he said, a bit defensive.
“Nothi
ng.” A slow smile spread across Jude’s lips. “I’ve just never seen you kiss anyone before.”
The back of his neck heated, but he didn’t release Natalie. “We should call the twins. And Reece,” he added, though the thought of facing Reece again after their last blow-up sat like a rock in his gut.
“We don’t have to.” Jude nodded in the general direction of Wilde Security. “They’re all at the office.”
That rock became a hot coal. He squeezed his eyes shut. Why did the idea of going to the office he’d set up with his brothers scare him so much?
Natalie’s arms tightened around his waist. That little reassuring squeeze was exactly what he needed.
“Okay.” He opened his eyes and looked at Jude. “We should go over. I’m ready to talk.”
Chapter Eighteen
They walked back across the park in silence, Jude leading the way.
Wilde Security.
Greer hadn’t been there since January, and at the moment, he would have preferred returning to Syria or shipping off to Nigeria over walking through that door. At least in war zones, he knew what he was, what his job was, how to deal. He was a killer. He killed. And he locked everything away so he didn’t have to deal.
This shit, though? This reconnecting with family and forming new bonds with Natalie…it was so far out of his realm of comprehension. Killers didn’t have family connections. They didn’t fall in love.
And yet here he was.
Natalie still held his hand. She hadn’t let him go, which was probably good because he’d never wanted to run from anything more in his life.
Jesus. He was more than half drunk. He should wait until he sobered up. What if he told them too much? What if he laid open his soul and they saw him for the monster he was inside? Jude wouldn’t want to name his son after him then.
He stopped moving. Natalie stopped beside him, but she didn’t say anything. Just waited patiently.
He shook his head and tried to pull his hand free from hers. “I can’t do this now.”
“Why not?”
Too Wilde to Tame (Wilde Security) Page 15
