“Bye,” Lindy said as the polished brass elevator doors closed. She walked toward her office, stopping to ask her secretary if she’d seen Shane. She hadn’t.
Lindy dropped her purse into her desk drawer and checked her voice mail. She didn’t have any messages, and when she called Shane, she got his voice mail.
Wondering what he wanted, she decided to take a quick minute and hop up one floor to find out.
“SHANE, COME IN,” Grandpa Joe said with a wave of his hand. “Leave the door open so that we’ll know when the food gets here. My secretary’s gone for the rest of the day, and no matter how I try and tell them otherwise, no one from the kitchen wants to knock on a closed door.”
“So you’re still intimidating the kitchen staff?”
“Ah, it’s more about respect. Johnny the chef is old-fashioned. I think he’s almost seventy and he’s very old-school. Closed doors mean no admittance unless a secretary announces you. Ah, he’s a great chef and I’ll hate it when he finally retires. Luckily for me, so far he hasn’t shown any inclination.”
Grandpa Joe gestured toward a sofa. “So, sit. Sit. Tell me, how’s everything going? Do you have one of those ultrasound pictures with you? You do know you need to stop by the house and show them to your grandmother. She’s been on my case again, you know.”
Shane sat on the leather couch and stared at his grandfather. He reached into his wallet and pulled out the picture that Lindy had cut out for him. “That’s the baby’s head,” he said with a point. “And there’s an arm.”
“I can’t tell the sex,” Grandpa Joe said.
“Lindy has that picture,” Shane said. “And if I can be so bold, being your grandson, you’re a bit lively today.”
“Probably more than usual,” Grandpa Joe said as he sat across from Shane. “Not only are you having a boy, but I’m still a bit pumped from our meetings today. I love success, and this venture looks to be one of our best yet. I guess you haven’t seen me when I get all, oh, what’s that modern expression, hyped up.”
“No,” Shane said.
“You’ll get used to it,” Grandpa Joe said. “Andrew did, and Harry’s adjusting well, too. I’m glad you came to work for me, Shane. This is a family company, and I enjoy having my family around me. When I die, which won’t be soon, mind you, I’ll leave this world knowing that what I built will be left in good, capable hands.”
“I have to admit, I’m enjoying working here.” Shane stiffened his spine as he saw the knowing gleam in his grandfather’s eyes. “No, don’t you even start gloating and telling me that you were right. I know you were. But I don’t want to hear about it.”
“Okay,” Grandpa Joe said with a deep chuckle. “I won’t tell you I was right about that. But I will tell you that I was right about Lindy. I was, wasn’t I?”
Shane put the ultrasound picture back into his wallet. “Pretty much. She married me, didn’t she?”
Grandpa Joe stroked his beard. “That she did. Although, I have to tell you, with your mother running the wedding, I was crossing my fingers that Lindy wouldn’t run away. I know I would have.”
Shane grinned. “I wasn’t too worried. Knowing Mom, she would have just tracked Lindy down and guilted her to come back.”
“True,” Grandpa Joe acknowledged, with another knowing gleam in his blue eyes. “That’s your mother. She definitely dances to her own drummer. But she fits Blake and makes him happy, so that’s all that matters. I was quite worried about your father after his first wife’s tragic death. He had Claire and the twins to consider. It was a dark time. And then he met Sara and…”
“She took over,” Shane said, “and they had me.”
“Well, in short, yes. She’s definitely the driving force behind your father. But he loves Sara, and their relationship is blessed and really works. Speaking of relationships, how’s yours and Lindy’s doing? Now don’t give me that look. Humor an old man. I only ask because I have a vested interest. I gave you the rules, you followed them, and she married you. She hasn’t wanted out yet, has she?”
“No.”
Grandpa Joe leaned forward. “You don’t sound so sure.”
“It’s nothing like that,” Shane said slowly. His mind raced. Should he tell? He couldn’t keep the secret to himself, and Grandpa Joe did have a vested interest, like he’d said. “I think actually the opposite is occurring. I think she told me she loved me last night. I mean, I heard the words, but I don’t know if she knew she was saying them. She was nearly asleep.”
Grandpa Joe only said, “Oh.”
“Oh is right. Now I don’t know what to do, what to tell her. I mean, I have to tell her I heard the words.”
Grandpa Joe got up and went to the minibar. He returned with two cans of soda and handed one of them to Shane. “Sorry. I forgot my manners. So tell me, what’s so hard about that?”
Shane watched as Grandpa Joe popped the tab. “What’s hard is that I can’t say that I love her in return.”
“Oh.” Grandpa Joe took a long sip.
Shane set his unopened can of cola down on the coffee table. “Stop saying that. It’s not helping. What I need is to know what to do. I mean, those words from a woman are like the kiss of death. Nothing is ever the same afterward, and Lindy and I have been getting along so well. I don’t want to lose her over this. I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t lie. We have fantastic sex. The best. She’s beautiful. She’s my best friend. She’s having my baby. But that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t love her.”
“You don’t love her.”
Shane shook his head. “No.”
“No feelings for her whatsoever?”
Shane exhaled, his frustration obvious. “No. Not like that. You know I don’t believe in that lovey-dovey nonsense. It’s not real. It’s a bunch of mumbo-jumbo corporations make up to sell candy and stuff.”
Grandpa Joe didn’t answer right away. Instead, he paused and turned toward the door. “Come in,” he called.
But no one appeared.
Grandpa Joe rose to his feet. He made a quick glance heavenward. “This is carrying Johnny’s orders a bit too far.” He walked to the doorway.
“Is it the food?” Shane called when his grandfather didn’t return right away.
Grandpa Joe turned around, and for the first time in Shane’s entire life, he saw his grandfather look stricken. It was a terrifying sight, and immediately Shane knew something was very wrong. “It’s Lindy. She’s getting on the elevator. I think she overheard us.”
“Oh God.” Raw panic, unlike any he’d ever experienced, filled Shane. He jumped to his feet and raced to the door. Only his grandfather’s arm across the door stopped him from exiting. “Let me pass. I have to go after her.”
“No.” The innate command in Grandpa Joe’s voice froze Shane, and he tottered as his body got ahead of him. Shane stared at his grandfather, not believing he’d just heard the words.
“What do you mean, no?” Shane asked. He rebalanced himself and faced his grandfather. “I have to go after her.”
Grandpa Joe didn’t blink. “No. I said no because it’s not a good idea.”
Shane made a wild gesture. “Of course it is. She heard us! She might have heard what I said.”
“And just what are you going to do if she did? Chase after her and tell her you didn’t mean it? Tell her that you lied? Apologize for speaking the truth?”
“I—” Shane faltered. What had he done? “I didn’t mean for her to hear me. It’s cruel. I didn’t want her hurt. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“I know you don’t want to hurt her.” The elevator dinged, but this time it was a server carrying a tray from the executive cafeteria. “Come eat,” Grandpa Joe said. “Food will help you think.”
“Think? Eat? I can’t do either right now. I need to stop her, to tell her—”
“Again, I ask you, to tell her what?” Grandpa Joe stood firm and guided Shane back to the sofa. I think you have a lot to think about. In fact, it seems
to me that you may have pretty strong feelings for Lindy. I think you need to know exactly what they are before you go rushing off willy-nilly and make matters somehow even worse.”
Shane watched the waiter put the food on a dining table. Despite seeing the covered plates, he had no appetite. “She’s my best friend. I never meant to hurt her.”
Grandpa Joe uncovered some carrot sticks. He waved one. “Do you love me?”
Shane leaned back against the sofa and ran an agitated hand through his hair. “What’s that got to do with it? You’re my grandfather. Of course I do.”
“And your mother?” Grandpa Joe was having no problem eating, and he took a bite of raw carrot.
“Yes.”
“Your father? Cousins?”
Was there a point to all this? Frustrated, Shane folded his hands together. “Yes. You’re family.”
Grandpa Joe stopped eating. “So why not Lindy? Lindy, the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Lindy, who is having your baby. Lindy, who you describe as your best friend. Love isn’t a feeling as much as it is a choice, Shane. You choose to let the feelings in, to let the feelings flow. You choose to care. So I ask you again, why can’t you love Lindy?”
And with those words, Grandpa Joe reached over and removed a metal plate cover. “They had the salmon sandwich.” He brought the china plate over to Shane. Shane stared at the food. Although the sandwich looked delicious, he had completely lost his appetite. Not even the mouthwatering display could tempt him.
“I’m really not hungry,” Shane said, his mind reeling at everything that had just been thrown at him in the last few minutes.
Grandpa Joe grabbed his own plate. “Perhaps, but you’ll eat it anyway. And while you do, I’m giving you an assignment.”
“I don’t need work. I need to make amends with my wife.”
“That’s what this assignment is about.” Grandpa Joe picked up his fork and gestured at Shane to eat. “Eat. And while you do, I want you to ponder the answer to my question. Why can’t you love your wife?”
THANK GOD THEY hadn’t seen her. That was the silver lining to all this, that and the fact that her secretary was away from her desk. Lindy brushed a tear away from her cheek as she stepped out onto her floor. All she had to do was grab her purse. To hell with working the rest of the day. They could dock her pay. Fire her for all she cared. Right now all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and hide forever.
She’d known he didn’t love her. But to actually hear him say it, that had cut like a knife. And he hadn’t said it once; he’d said it several times. And each time, a part of her had died.
She couldn’t take it anymore. Despite all Shane’s promises, despite their phenomenal sex life, their perfect house, their perfect cars, despite that, the one ingredient that held it all together wasn’t there. It never would be there. They lacked love.
Well, so much for Tina’s advice. Worse, Tina hadn’t even been available to talk. Lindy had left her a hysterical message, in essence saying that Shane didn’t love her, and that he’d told his grandfather he never would.
So now there was no point in Lindy telling Shane how she felt. She’d heard that part of the conversation, too. He already knew she loved him. And he still didn’t care. Lindy placed her hand protectively over her stomach as she pressed the button to get back on the elevator. She pushed it several times again, more in frustration with her situation than with the elevator being slow.
What was she going to do? She could stay and work at Jacobsen. She could stay and live with Shane and deal with the situation, the pain he’d put her through. No, she couldn’t do either of those things.
Which left her nowhere except with massive decisions to make, decisions she didn’t even know how to make or where to begin.
Lindy pressed her key fob, opening via remote the locks to her Grand Prix. Within moments she’d left the parking garage and pulled out onto Market Street, heading westbound toward the entrance to Interstate 64. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. The interstate entrance was just ahead, and once on that she could let the car loose.
Finally the light at Compton turned green. Lindy stepped on the accelerator and, as she drove into the intersection, there was the grinding sound of metal on metal and the world went black.
Chapter Ten
The voices in the warm blackness were distant and hazy. “She’s unconscious.” “Come on, sweetheart. Stay with us. The ambulance is on its way.”
Another voice. Female. Hysterical. “He just ran the red light. Plowed right into her. Sent her spinning. Is she okay?”
A calmer voice. “Shh. She’s getting the best care possible. This officer will take your statement.”
Yet another voice. “Any ID?”
A female voice. “Yes. Her purse scattered on the floor.” A rustling sound. “Here it is. Melinda Jean Brinks. Oh. Look at these.”
“Ultrasound pictures.”
“Let the paramedics know she might be pregnant. Ambulance is here.”
More voices, each different, each the same, as various hands moved over her body. Something pricked, but in her haze Lindy felt but didn’t feel the pain. Something firm encased her neck.
“Backboard ready.”
In the blackness, Lindy felt herself lifted, something hard slid underneath her. Something already covered her face. She tried to call Shane’s name, but in the darkness, as her world slipped away, the words wouldn’t come.
LESS THAN A MILE away, Shane sat in his office and gazed out the window. The view eastward down Market Street was beautiful. He tossed a tennis ball up into the air and caught it again. He could appreciate why Grandpa Joe chose this spot, with its phenomenal view of the Soldier’s Memorial, Union Station, and even farther, Kiener Plaza, the Old Courthouse, and then the Gateway Arch.
Shane tossed the tennis ball one more time, catching it easily before putting it back into a drawer. His onearm game of catch hadn’t done anything to dispel his sense of disquiet.
He’d really screwed up this time.
“But do I love Lindy?” he asked aloud.
Damn, but he hated soul-searching.
Did he love Lindy? She was his best friend. She was his lover. She was the mother of his child. He’d vowed in front of God and witnesses to love her until death-do-us-part. But did he love her?
Of course he did. He loved her like his best friend. Like the mother of his child. Like his lover. He loved her like he’d love a member of his family.
Sure he loved her. And there, that answered Grandpa Joe’s question.
If the question was really that simple.
For Shane knew it wasn’t. Maybe it went back to that Men are from Mercury or whatever-it-was-called book. He could tell Lindy that he loved her and not be lying.
But in doing so, he wouldn’t be telling her the truth, either, at least not the truth that she wanted to hear. She wanted the endless devotion, the can’t-live-without-you, you’re-the-only-one-for-me love. She wanted that kind of declaration.
The kind Shane had given up on that summer when he’d watched the girl press her hand up against the bus window as it drove away.
After that summer he’d never loved anyone else in the same way because he’d learned that love like that wasn’t real. It wasn’t worth the pain, and even though the pain eventually faded, the scar remained. He’d learned that you didn’t ever let people have the power to hurt you, and, from that moment on, Shane hadn’t given anyone that power. People came into his life, and then they left it, and he remained unscathed.
He didn’t even worry much about the pain his partners might have felt. Perhaps that made him cold, distant, but he’d also learned that the pain went away for everyone. It always did. He’d discovered that fact when he’d dated women, called off the relationship, and then seen them out with someone else less than a week later. It was a mating game for the most eligible partner, that’s all dating was. He had simply been Shane Jacobsen, rich, eligible catch who could make a wom
an’s life easy street.
“You’re working late.” Harry appeared in Shane’s doorway.
Shane swiveled around, away from the fantastic view. “So are you.”
Harry stepped through the doorway. “Yeah, I guess. Megan had a doctor’s appointment and then she was going to visit her mother for a while. Since this is one of those appointments she didn’t want me at, I figured I could work a little bit later tonight. I had some things to get done, since I’m taking Friday off. There’s a play in Chicago that Megan wants to see, so we’re taking a minivacation to the Windy City this weekend.”
“Oh.” Shane picked up a pencil and rolled it between his fingers.
“Something wrong?”
Shane paused. “No, but I’ve got a question for you. It’s something Lindy and I were talking about. If it’s not too personal, how did you know you were in love with Megan?”
Harry grinned. “It’s not too personal. And let me tell you, we hated each other at first. I couldn’t believe it when Grandpa Joe made us work together. I thought I was getting a promotion and instead, there I was assigned to be her mentor.”
Harry shook his head at the now fond memory. “I think I first knew I felt something for her besides just boss-to-employee interest, when one of the guys from the other firm asked her out. She went, and I was not happy about it. I think that’s when I had to start answering those questions in my head. You know the ones, like why was she the only person occupying my thoughts, what little thing could I do to get her to notice me, what was she thinking about me, etc. I mean, she had a power over me. And when I hurt her, it devastated me. It felt like my world had ended. And at that moment I knew I didn’t want to ever let her out of my life again. It was like that with you and Lindy, wasn’t it?”
“Sort of,” Shane said. “She’d worked for me but I didn’t see her until…” His voice drifted off. Until the night of his party when she was the one he’d called. She was the one who had been missing, who hadn’t been there. She was the one he’d wanted.
About Last Night... Page 15
