He acknowledged her confession with a slight nod of his head. “Deep down you’ve always been the love of my life. That’s the conversation Grandpa Joe and I had, the part you didn’t overhear. He told me that love isn’t a feeling as much as it is a choice. I realized that I am the one that chooses to let the feelings in, to let my feelings flow. I’m the one that chooses to care. He even asked me why I thought I couldn’t love you.”
Shane stopped to kiss her fingers again, almost as if reassuring himself she was real. “You see, I thought I was a man who couldn’t love. But I can love, Lindy. I’d just turned off those emotions. So when I first thought of loving you, I realized that I loved you like a best friend, and then later as the mother of my child. I even thought that I loved you just like I’d love a member of my family. So yes, I’d answered Grandpa Joe’s question. But that’s not enough, is it?”
He’d mentioned all the ways to love her but the main one. Lindy shook her head. “It’s settling. It’s being satisfied with less.”
“I know. So I asked Harry how he’d known Megan was the one for him. He told me that she was all he thought about. That’s when I realized the truth.”
A small, wary prickle ran up Lindy’s spine. Shane still held her hand. Did she dare to hope? Did she dare to believe? Had Shane—to use a cliché—finally seen the light? He seemed to be waiting for her. “Tell me the truth you learned,” she said.
“I learned that you already had the power to hurt me.”
Her protest was immediate. “But I never would—”
His free hand reached forward and he placed a forefinger on her lips, silencing her. “I know you would never intentionally hurt me. But the truth is that I’d let you have that power just because I cared about you. Unlike all the others, I needed you. That’s why I denied how I felt so much. You had power over me, and to admit my true feelings would give you more. The paradox is that you’d become such a part of my life that I never wanted to let you go, or for our relationship to change.”
He smiled at her, a smile that warmed Lindy’s heart to its very core. “After I really did some introspection, I realized that’s why I’d panicked when you were ill. That’s why I’d brought you food after my mother paid you a visit. I cared about you, and I cared deeply. And if I had the courage to admit it to myself, I loved you. Love was why I didn’t want you to go to Jacobsen. I didn’t want you to leave me because deep down, Lindy, I can’t live without you. You’re like a half of me that I’ve always needed, even when I didn’t believe it existed.”
“You love me.” Hope started to dance inside Lindy, but doubt tempered it. “But this relationship, me, I’m nothing like you ever expected. I’m nothing that you thought you wanted.”
“Lindy, I was sitting there in my office, after you overheard me. I knew I had to think, to know the truth about myself before I saw you again. That’s why I didn’t rush right after you. While I sat there, I tried to conjure up the image of that girl on the bus, and do you know what? I couldn’t see her face. What I did see, though, was that living without you is the scariest thought in the world. Lindy, when I think of the word love, the only image I see is yours.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but again his finger touched her lip, indicating that he had more to say. “When I realized that, I knew right then that I had to tell you. So I left the office, and found you. Well, I found your car. The ambulance had already left the scene. That moment began what has probably been the worst nightmare of my life to this point. I loved you, I hurt you, and I didn’t know if you were even okay or ever would be okay again.”
“Oh, Shane.” Lindy covered their linked hands with her free one, and he followed suit until all their hands touched. “I’m so sorry.”
His blue eyes glistened. “No, I am. I’m sorry for not believing. I’m sorry for hurting you. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you. You heard me say some terrible things to my grandfather, things that I never meant for you to hear.”
“The words did hurt, but your not saying the words I wanted to hear, that hurt, too. It was hard knowing that I loved you, and that you would never love me back. One-sided love is never enough.”
He leaned toward her, closing the gap between them. “Forgive me, Lindy. I promise it will never be one-sided again. Never again. I love you, and I’m not going to hurt you ever.”
“Shane, we love each other. We’ll argue. We’ll disagree. We’ll sometimes hurt each other with words or actions that deep down we don’t mean. Sometimes we’ll hurt each other unintentionally. But Shane, we love each other. That means that I trust you to hold my heart and cherish it. That means you’ll trust me to do the same. I promise not to let you down, even when sometimes we both make mistakes. That’s love, Shane. That’s the kind of love that endures.”
“I love you,” he said.
“And I believe you, my darling.”
Lindy felt her eyes brim with tears. Using a gentle touch, for several quiet moments Shane did nothing but sweep Lindy’s tears away. Then he kissed her lips. The kiss he bestowed was tender and sweet, and Lindy returned his kiss with equal gentleness. Even though Shane had kissed her like this before, this time was different.
This kiss held endless promise of a lifetime full of love. This kiss signified the start of the next phase of their relationship. This kiss was their new beginning.
“You know I want you,” he whispered against her cheek.
“I want you too,” Lindy said, for she did. She wished her body was completely healed so that she could make love to him, and feel him joined together with her.
“Know that,” Shane said. “Always know I want you, and not just because we have great sex. Yes, I’d love to bury myself deep inside you and show you how much, but I love you, Lindy, and it’s not just about sex. I want you in my life, forever and ever. I love you, Lindy, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it. That’s a promise I plan to keep.”
Happiness and peace filled Lindy, and she encircled him in her arms, holding him close. This was her man, and she was his woman. They had been made for each other, and although the path had been rough, they’d discovered that true love did exist.
Shane loved her, truly loved her, and now her world was complete. Gone was the past, and in its place was simply a future that she and Shane would create together.
As his lips lowered down to hers, Lindy knew that she’d never take him for granted. She’d been blessed with a gift in this special man, and she’d spend the rest of her life finding out just how lucky she was. She loved him, and he loved her right back.
Epilogue
Bradley Joseph Jacobsen made his debut early New Year’s Day, and slept peacefully through the christening ceremony his Grandfather Blake performed four weeks later.
Grandpa Joe beamed at the great-grandbaby he was holding in his arms. He’d always teased his wife Henrietta that all babies, except theirs of course, were ugly, but he wouldn’t even venture to make teasing remarks about Bradley. Bradley had something about him that made him special. Perhaps it was the fact that he bore the proud heritage of the Jacobsen surname. Perhaps it was the security of knowing how much his parents loved him. For when Shane had realized that he loved Lindy, and how much he loved her, he had loved with abandon. No one who came in contact with him could ever doubt how much he loved his wife, and how much she loved him in return. Lindy had completely healed from the accident long before Bradley’s arrival, and she’d delivered him naturally with only an epidural for pain support. Shane had been by her side throughout, and had been the one to cut Bradley’s cord and hand the infant to his mother, who was waiting impatiently to see the life she’d carried.
“Okay, everyone, smile.” The photographer snapped the photo of the four generations: Joe, Blake, Shane and Bradley. Grandpa Joe smiled as he placed the baby back into Lindy’s outstretched arms. The photographer now set about organizing Blake’s brood, motioning Claire, Nick, Bethany and Olivia into place next to Shane, Lindy and their so
n.
Since there was still time before the reception, the rest of Grandpa Joe’s family milled around the church. The older man felt immeasurable pride as his eyes swept over his clan.
It had been a double christening, Megan and Harry’s baby girl, being a little overdue, had been born just two weeks before Bradley. Darci and Cameron had flown in from New York for the ceremony, and had immediately announced they were expecting in late August.
“You look pretty proud of yourself,” Andrew said as he approached Grandpa Joe.
“I am,” Grandpa Joe replied.
“So, who’s next?”
Grandpa Joe feigned innocence. “What do you mean?”
Andrew grinned. “If I know you, you already have something up your sleeve. You’ve got Claire, Nick and Olivia to marry off. Who’s next?”
Grandpa Joe’s gaze swept over his grandchildren. Nick was still oblivious to women in general, and Claire was still too busy with work. He already knew their perfect mates, but it would take a little while to put everything in place before he could set those wheels in motion. He rested his gaze on Olivia, and as her Jacobsen blues caught his, she smiled.
Still, years of observing people told Grandpa Joe that something was amiss. Olivia had turned thirty in September, and unlike her twin Nick who couldn’t care less, or her older sister Claire who was too busy with her career to even think about her age, Grandpa Joe knew that hitting thirty bothered Olivia.
But for once he was out of ideas. Although he knew some would come to him. Matchmaking ideas always did.
“So who’s next?” Andrew repeated as the little gathering finished with the pictures.
Grandpa Joe arched his eyebrows, turned on a devious yet dazzling smile and looked at Andrew. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he said. “Just wouldn’t you like to know.”
ISBN: 978-1-4603-6896-1
ABOUT LAST NIGHT…
Copyright © 2004 by Michele Dunaway.
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About Last Night... Page 19
